


not straight but at least we can play vball

by emochill



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chatting & Messaging, F/M, Gay Disasters, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Karasuno, Kinda, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Multi, My First Fanfic, Nekoma, Polyamory, Shiratorizawa, Teens being teens, i have no idea whats going on nor would i like to know, let hinata curse damnit, no beta we die like men, playing fast and loose w canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:59:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 72,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23766523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emochill/pseuds/emochill
Summary: hinata is part of a groupchat on discord and the gist is: theyre all gay and gay drama happens bc theyre teenagers, not really just shennanigans and hijinks bc again theyre kinda dumb and gay and theyre teenagers, also there is not plot i think, just a bunch of gay teen vball players in their natrual habitat. also most ships mentioned will probably remain more or less the same unless i am struck by a mean goblin spirit
Relationships: Haiba Lev/Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou & Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou & Tendou Satori, Hinata Shouyou/Semi Eita, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio/Sugawara Koushi, Minor or Background Relationship(s), queerplatonic relationships - Relationship
Comments: 676
Kudos: 593





	1. new members have been added!

**Author's Note:**

> hi welcome im so sorry youre here but try to have a good time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Shirabu: god has left me  
> semi: too pretty for this

Server name: not straight but at least we can play vball 

_ new members have been added! _

amsunshine: welcome all!!! (✿^‿^)

THUNDER: WELCOME NEWCOMERS

y(owo)kai: hihi!! welcome to the bestest server youll ever be a part of, in here we can talk about anything and everything here there is no judgement and any hate can and will be banned and blacklisted from any sites that i can get my hands on mwahaha  >:)

god has left me: i already hate it here

too pretty for this: same

amsunshine: no!! what @y(owo)kai is trying to say welcome to the chat and we hope you like it here!! 

god has left me: wow,,, you really live up to your username huh

y(owo)kai: OWO? Is this? a crush? 

god has left me: stfu no

THUNDER: dont let his cute way of chatting fool you, sunshine is a menace on survival games and when we play against each other he always always ends up winning by a LOT 

amsunshine: stop im blushing (*uWu*)

i await the sweet release of death: wait a fuckin second

i await the sweet release of death: @amsunshine did you play valorant w some shithead called “tsumu”

amsunshine: yes!!! he sucked ass  >:)

i await the sweet release of death: AKDFASGK fucking tea, that was my twin brother hold on can i add him

y(owo)kai: sure whats his @ 

i await the sweet release of death: @fuckyouurstuckwme

_ new member has been added! _

fuck you ur stuck w me: ok the name is a mood 

i crave the sweet release of death: ikr

fuck you ur stuck w me: ah, bitch 

fuck you ur stuck w me: ur here, what do you want

i await the sweet release of death: remember the guy u were playing with last time on valorant

i await the sweet release of death: hes here

fuck you ur stuck w me: ur fucking w me 

fuck you ur stuck w me: where

amsunshine: hi!! welcome to our chat!! u were really bad w ur shots!!!

y(owo)kai: thats fucking harsh lmao

THUNDER: thats sunshine for you lmao

god has left me: as interesting as this is, i have volleyball practice tomorrow and i wanna spend hours worrying abt that 

god has left me: dont get me wrong, finding out that there's already drama, small as it is here, is delightful but i have to get up early in the morning so i can fully hate myself at assoclock in the morning 

too pretty for this: ugh ur right, meet u at the train station? 

god has left me: yea

y(owo)kai: ill see you guys at the convenience store then!!

god has left me: yea

too pretty for this: yup

THUNDER: wait wait wait 

THUNDER: you three know each other?? 

y(owo)kai: uh yeah we’ve been going to the same school forever 

y(owo)kai: we’re third years lmao

THUNDER: WHAT 

amsunshine: oh! im trying out for volleyball at my school and im a first year!! 

THUNDER: WHAT

too pretty for this: oh good luck sunshine

amsunshine: thanks!!

THUNDER: WHAT

THUNDER: omg wait sunshine that means u’d be my kouhai if we went to the same school 

THUNDER: im a second year 

amsunshine: wait that’d be so cool!!

too pretty for this: ive only been here for about a couple hours but the two of you meeting would be disastrous for every sane person in that room. 

amsunshine: D: no it wouldnt!!! right thunder-senpai!!!

THUNDER: OHOHO uve addressed me as senpai!!!! THEREFORE YOU SHALL BE MY KOUHAI NO MATTER WHAT

amsunshine: :D!!

god has left me: oh fuck what have you done you fool @tooprettyforthis

y(owo)kai: wait!!!!! WHAT!!! ABOUT!!! MEE!!!!! :(

amsunshine: oh!! ur my sunpai tooo!!!

amsunshine: wait no senpai*

i await the sweet release of death: sunpai

amsunshine: oh fuck

fuck you ur stuck w me: sunpai

too pretty for this: sunpai

god has left me: sunpai

amsunshine: please, mercy

THUNDER:...

y(owo)kai:...

amsunshine: senpais please, no

THUNDER: SUNPAI

y(owo)kai: sunpai 

amsunshine: u guys are fucking assholes >:(

y(owo)kai: lmao ik 

y(owo)kai: anyway gn 

amsunshine: gn!!

THUNDER: goodnight!!

too pretty for this: gn

god has left me: gn 

i await the sweet release of death: my brother would say goodnight ass well but hes knocked the fuck out rn lmao, the fuking loser, 

i await the sweet release of death: hah ass

i await the sweet release of death: anyway gn!

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. enter a devoted senpai and his beloved kouhai (and more people!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more gays are here strap in and have some fun, as always, mom im sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is whos who in the chat  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Shirabu: god has left me  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

_ new members have been added! _

prettyplayboy: hi i am here to cause gay goblin trouble

y(owo)kai: ah good, welcome, 

y(owo)kai: i needed new comrades 

too pretty for this: oh no

\- 

pls chill: hello 

amsunshine: hi!! welcome all to our chat, as always hate will not be tolerated bc this is a safe space for us gays to unwind and to be ourselves, we also may start whining/talking abt volleyball and the hot boys we see there!

amsunshine: you dont have to use ur real name here since we really dont mind and we also understand that privacy is very important to some people. so we do have nicknames based off our usernames like for example my nickname is literally just sunshine and @/THUNDER’s nickname is just thunder 

amsunshine: i forgot to tell the other new people this lil fact but i'm sure that it'll be really easy to come up w nicknames going off our usernames huh

pls chill: oh thats very smart, 

pls chill: in that case please just call me chill lol

amsunshine: will do! 

prettyplayboy: say less, i go by shima, i play volleyball (duh) and im pan and i have a tongue piercing 

amsunshine: hot

prettyplayboy: ;)

y(owo)kai: !!OWO!! Sunshine!!! i didnt know u were into pierced men!!

y(owo)kai: you can call me miracle uwu

too pretty for this: i dont mind having people call me by my name since its really unlikely that we’ll actually ever get to meet lmao

amsunshine: but stranger danger!

too pretty for this: let them try and take me ill cut a bitch

too pretty for this: anyway im semi 

god has left me: im horny for death 

god has left me: im shira

THUNDER: im thunder!

i await the sweet release of death: i too wish to court death

prettyplayboy: ok thanos calm down

fuck you ur suck w me: god ur so fucking weird i hate you

i await the sweet release of death: as do i brother mine, as do i 

i await the sweet release of death: anyway im samu and this shithead is my twin brother tsumu 

fuck you ur stuck w me: fuck you bitch @iawaitthesweetreleaseofdeath 

fuck you ur stuck w me: yo im tsumu

amsunshine: oh!!! i remember you now!!! u played valorant w me nd miracle like two weeks ago!! Me and miracle kept making fun of the fact that you kept screaming every time you shot something 

y(owo)kai: oh yeah that was really fun lol

fuck you ur stuck w me: i

fuck you ur stuck w me: i thought u already knew who i was 

amsunshine: i mean i had an idea but i wasnt really sure yknow

fuck you ur stuck w me: im

fuck you ur stuck w me: ok

\- 

amsunshine: hey quick question

amsunshine: what the FUCK 

y(owo)kai: OWO? Is there a problem w our dearest sunshine? 

amsunshine: ok so

prettyplayboy: i heard theres tension and i would like to know y so that i may cause problems on purpose

amsunshine: theres this asshole who i played against during middle school right, and this absolute shithead was very fucking arrogant and all uppity abt being the fucking best and shit and it was annoying right 

y(owo)kai: yes

prettyplayboy: go on

amsunshine: so we’re playing and he absolutely crushes my dreams right, my first and last game of volleyball in junior high and we play against that asshole, it wasnt that my team sucked, they were just friends who played other sports who i annoyed into playing w me 

amsunshine: after his team won 25-2 and 25-8 he had the audacity to ask me where ive been doing these past three years like??? 

amsunshine: What???

amsunshine: fuck off?? 

amsunshine: ive been working my ass off to convince people to actually take me seriously and play w me for a tournament and youre pulling this asshole move??? bitch???

amsunshine: and then today on the day that i'm supposed to try out for the volleyball team this actual Piece Of Clown Shit shows up and starts asking wtf im doing there

amsunshine: what does it look like? i'm scoping out the ceiling to do reparations? god i hate him, 

Prettyplayboy: fuck him up

amsunshine: and then if thats not the worst part he goes ahead and picks a fight w me and long story short the vice principals wig lands on my captains head and we were kicked out of the gym until we “made up” 

amsunshine: it sucked >:(

y(owo)kai: theres,,,, a lot to unpack there

prettyplayboy: ugh drama, i love it

amsunshine: >:6

amsunshine: well at least someone is entertained by my actions today :]

\- 

y(owo)kai: hypothetically

too pretty for this: oh no

god has left me: miracle no

y(owo)kai: now now, hear me out, hypothetically, if i were to revert back to my bowlcut days, 

y(owo)kai: would that make me less scary for little children? 

too pretty for this:  _ who the fuc k are you and what have to you to my friend _

y(owo)kai: lmao, no its me ya boy the miracle man, its just 

y(owo)kai: ive been thinking

god has left me: oh n o, miracle dont waste your three braincells like that 

y(owo)kai: stfu bitchboy

THUNDER: you had a bowlcut????? Omg 

amsunshine: bowlcut???

amsunshine: also who made miracle sad? :( that's mean and unneeded for such a good person like miracle 

amsunshine: ur perfect the way u are miracle and even if some kids are scared of you if we ever met i dont think my little sister would be scared of you, for what its worth

too pretty for this: yeah what sunshine said youre our friend the way you are and we would change you for the world miracle

god as left me: hm

god has left me: im only saying this once so you better fucking listen closely miracle, youre one of my best friends and a good teammate and im willing to do two hundred serves if that what it takes so see you smile

god has left me: so stop moping bc its weird and not you, nobody cares about some punk ass kids and i know FOR A FACT semi’s little sister adores you

y(owo)kai: i

y(owo)kai: thank you sunshine

y(owo)kai: and shira and semi

y(owo)kai: i think i needed that 

god has left me: ye

too pretty for this: anytime miracle

amsunshine: of course!!!!

\- 

amsunshine: ok so the weirdest/coolest thing just happened today

god has left me: ? 

amsunshine: oh hi shira

god has left me: hey

god has left me: what happened today? 

amsunshine: ok so i went to practice right, and i met the COOLEST person EVER

THUNDER: oh what a coincidence i too, met a very cool person

amsunshine: ok but does your person receive a very hard serve like it was nothing and laugh abt it to the servers face? no? 

THUNDER: hmm yes ok,, but is your person able to jump almost 5 meters off the ground and can do a freak quick spike with their eyes closed? 

amsunshine: :0

amsunshine: wait a fujkn mifhu

-

**_private chat between you and THUNDER_ **

**you:** wait, waait

**you:** wait a fucking second

**THUNDER:** what? What? 

**you:** omg wait

**you:** you said ur person can do a freak quick w their eyes closed right

**THUNDER:** yes? 

**you:** i just did that w my setter during practice and my senpai told me that i was awesome and he didnt think he wouldve been able to get that, since yknow, he was practicing w us

**THUNDER:** AHHHH 

**THUNDER:** WAIT!!!!!!!

**you:** and!!! My senpai has a part of his front hair dyed blond, hes a libero and his NAMES NISHINOYA AAA

**THUNDER:** AHHHHHHHHHHHH 

**THUNDER:** HINATA? 

**you:** OMG!!!!! NISHINOYA-SENPAIIII

**you:** AAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAAH

**you:** WHAT WERE THE ODDS

**THUNDER** : OSJSGKSJGETWJGOB

**THUNDER** : THIDOJF THID IS AMAAXONG 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i may be having the time of my life but im also so very sleepy but i also have ap spanish @ like 10 and its currently 3:27 here in south la


	3. the gays have all assembled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the karasuno boyos have met, atsumu has been blacklisted by the short community, tea is spilled and the rest of the gang is here!!and as always mom im sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u   
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me   
> Iwachan: stfu  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this

**_not straight but at last we can play vball_ **

THUNDER: SO 

THUNDER: SO 

THUNDER: WHAT WERE THE ODDS THAT I WOULD MEET SOMEONE FROM EHRER

amsunshine: :0!!!!

amsunshine: this!!! Is!! the coolest thing ever!!!

pls chill: whats going on?

THUNDER: me and sunshine met irl bc apparently we go to the same school and we’re also in the same vball club

amsunshine: :D!!!!

pls chill: oh wow

pls chill: thats actually really cool

y(owo)kai: OWO!!?? you have met irl?? 

amunshine: yeah!!!

amsunshine: it was awesome!!!

amsunshine: his recieves are amazing!!!

amsunshine: and!!! ive never met someone shorter than me uwu

THUNDER: you horrible kouhai

THUNDER: youre killing me

THUNDER: i hope u know ur killing ur senpai

THUNDER: bc u r 

THUNDER: >:(

amsunshine: lol sry senpai xD 

y(owo)kai: wait that reminds me how tall are you guys

THUNDER: that has no place here

y(owo)kai: oh so youre pretty short huh

THUNDER: SHUT

amsunshine: he is!!! hes shorter than me and im like 163 cm 

THUNDER: wow

THUNDER: so this is what betrayal feels like huh

too pretty for this: we already see each other in person miracle why does this matter

god has left me: 174 cm

too pretty for this: 179 cm 

too pretty for this: ha im taller than u shira

god has left me: i will strangle you 

amsunshine: this is short person erasure and i will not stand for it

y(owo)kai: 187 uwu

y(owo)kai: sunshine ur tiny

amsunshine: this is an attack

THUNDER: the short community will not forget this slight

THUNDER: you will be blacklisted in the short community

pls chill: oh ur comparing height now

pls chill: im 182

i await the sweet release of death: im 183.8

fuck you ur stuck w me: bitch

i await the sweet release of death: tsumu is short than me 

fuck you ur stuck w me: fuck you it only .2 millimeters

THUNDER: im sorry but to a short person every millimeter is important 

fuck you ur stuck w me: good thing im not short then huh

_ **several people are typing...** _

prettyplayboy: oh shit

i await the sweet release of death: oh shit

pls chill: oh shit 

y(owo)kai: oh shit

god has left me: oh shit

too pretty for this: oh shit

amsunshine: This is a grave insult. 

amsunshine: We will discuss this matter privately. 

amsunshine: Please excuse us. 

prettyplayboy: why do i hear boss music

THUNDER: sleep w one eye open tonight tsumu

fuck you ur stuck w me: but you dont know where i live??? 

THUNDER: i'll find out

too pretty for this: this isnt directed at me but i’m fuckign shaking

* * *

_ new members have been added! _

amsunshine: hi welcome!!

amsunshine: this is our chat and we welcome anyone and everyone, hate will not be tolerated and you will be kicked out if youre found doing something that is against our guidelines

y(owo)kai: also ill blacklist u from any site you can think of >:)

amsunshine: yes.

amsunshine: anyway!!! here we really dont mind if you dont wanna share your real name bc we understand that you wanna remain anon so we just come up w nicknames based off our usernames usually

amsunshine: for ex, my name is sunshine lol

y(owo)kai: you can call me miracle (*oWo*) 

too pretty for this: im semi

god has left me: im shir

too pretty for this: shir

y(owo)kai: shir

god has left me: i hate you both so much

god has left me: im shira*

prettyplayerboy: im shima ;)

pls chill: im just chill lol

THUNDER: im thunder :D

i await the sweet release of death: im samu

fuck you ur stuck w me: im tsumu

no u: im lesba!

aliens!! are!! real!!: uwu~

aliens!! are!! real!!: please call me alien-chan~

fuck you ur stuck w me: absolutely not!

aliens!! are!! real!!: >:0 

aliens!! are!! real!!: ok then just aliens 

kodzuken: you can just call me by my username or kozu it doesnt matter

stfu: haji is fine

amsunshine:!!!! Gr8!!! =^v^=

* * *

**_private chat between you and THUNDER_ **

**you:** hey senapi?

**THUNDER:** yeah?

**you:** how come you werent at the game versus aoba johsai?

**THUNDER:** oh

**THUNDER:** well

**you:** u dont have to answer!! its okay if you dont want to answer!! 

**you:** if ur uncomfy abt it you dont have to tell me i promise i wont be mad!!

**THUNDER:** no no

**THUNDER:** its just 

**THUNDER:** its a lot to take in, how bout we video call? 

**you:** oh yeah!!

**you:** sure!! ****

**_THUNDER is requesting a video call_ **

**_video call request accepted_ **

“Hi senpai!” Hinata greeted him with a bright, if hesitant smile, fiddling with his camera so he could see his senpai better. When he was done adjusting the camera he gave a small full arm wave. 

Nishinoya smiled cheerfully at his kouhai (!!! He couldn't believe it! A kouhai of his own! He’s dreamed of this day ever since his first day of first year!). “So you wanna know why I haven't been at club these past few days right?” 

“Um y-yeah! You don't have to tell me if you're uncomfortable!” Ah, he had the best kouhai ever! But he had to tell him why. It was only fair to the first year. 

He sighed, leaning back on his chair to balance on its hind legs. He and Ryu had perfected the art of balancing on a chair's hind legs a while back during summer. Which reminded him, he should show Hinata how to do that as well.

Argh, he was getting off topic, focus Yuu!

“Ok, do you know Asahi Azumane?,” at Hinata’s confused shake he elaborated, “Asahi is the ace in our team, but during a practice match he was completely blocked out and I couldn’t get to all the balls to keep the play in motion, and it was really getting to him. So we lose the match, right? And he’s acting really down and whatever so I go up to hm and ask what the fuck is going on and this asshole just says that he’s thinking about taking a break from volleyball and then he just leaves!” 

Taking a breath, Nishinoya pauses, before he gets too worked up again and stops being able to actually get words out of his mouth. “So after a couple days of him not showing up I confronted him about that and he just tells me not to worry about it like we aren’t close friends and I’m not worried about him. So we get into an argument and the vice-principal overhears it and I knock over a vase and accidentally take the wig of the vice principal’s wig, and I end up being suspended from club activities for a month. But! I’m coming back tomorrow!” 

Hinata blinked once, then twice, then he started laughing. He would try to say something but then start laughing too hard to actually get anything out of his mouth. After a bit he started to wheeze. 

Ten minutes had passed and Nishinoya was still waiting on the explanation. Hinata was still giggling, “Sorry, sorry, it's just, the first day the vice-principal came in and me and Kageyama were arguing and the vice-principal’s wig ended up on daichi-san’s head.” 

At the end Hinata erupted into giggles again, Nishinoya followed not long after. “Wait is that what you were talking about with Miracle and Shima?” 

Hinata just grinned at him. They talked for a while after that, trivial things and encouragement alike. 

* * *

amsunshine: idc idc prom dress is a great song and if you cant vibe w it we cant be friends

i await the sweet release of death: ??

i await the sweet release of death: sunshine its 3:17am?? 

THUNDER: and what about it

THUNDER: but my precious kouhai, he's right 

THUNDER: y r u awake at this time we have morning practice tomorrow

THUNDER: later?? ahhh this is confusing

amsunshine: no no i just fell asleep at like 6 after finishing my hw 

amsunshine: so am vibing rn

amsunshine: actually thunder y r u awake too?

amsunshine: u too samu?

THUNDER: i wanted a glass of water 

THUNDER: am going back to bed in a bit

i await the sweet release of death: oh gee look at that my mom is calling me gtg!

THUNDER: coward. 

i await the sweet release of death: :D

i await the sweet release of death: u know it sir


	4. quick what the number for 911

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kagehina dies in this house teruhina is vibing for a bit and as always mom im sorry  
> also:  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u  
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me  
> Iwachan: stfu  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something happens:  
> tendou: OWO?!

_**not straight but at least we can play vball** _

amsunshine: help i ahbe a probekm

y(owo)kai: OWO??? Problem?? How can i help my most precious sunshine?? 

THUNDER: back off miracle, i see him everyday irl hes my kouhai

y(owo)kai: for now >:)

amsunshine: i think my setter has a crush on me

THUNDER: WHAT

THUNDER: wait which one

pls chill: ???? wdym by which one???

pls chill: oh you guys have more than one setter

THUNDER: yea

THUNDER: wait which one the third yr one or the first yr one

amsunshine: the first yr one

amsunshine: sugar is my mom

THUNDER: sugar is everyones mom

amsunshine: yes. 

y(owo)kai: OWO 

y(owo)kai: romance isnt something i'm good at 

y(owo)kai: cant help you sorry sunshine 

too pretty for this: ur literally dating someone

y(owo)kai: doesnt mean ik how that happened genius

amsunshine: congrats miracle!!

amsunshine: but!!! that doesnt help my dilemma!!!

THUNDER: HUH

THUNDER: how did this happen

THUNDER: actually you kno wwat i just realized i have to take care of something completetly unrelated

too pretty for this: wait

too pretty for this: sunshine

too pretty for this: do you

too pretty for this: do you like him back?? 

amsunshine: wtf ew no

amsunshine: he's a friend and i dont think ill ever like him that way

god has left me: goddamn

god has left me: so this is what they mean by friendzoning someone

kodzuken: wdym by u think? 

amsunshine: ok so, 

amsunshine: 1)he buys me meat buns, which are my favorite and he knows that bc i mentioned it ONCE, 2)he always always touches me in some sort of way and he’s always with me everywhere and checks up on me when i go somewhere w/o him, 3) he always sends goodnight and goodmorning texts to me 

THUNDER: so um sunshine

THUNDER: if u dont like him, and if he probably likes you, how will you react if he likes you

amsunshine: reject him??

pls chill: omfg

THUNDER: as you should

THUNDER: you cant date anyone until im dead

THUNDER: and then three days just to make sure

amsunshine: asldasd fine

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: sometimes i feel like the world hates me and wants me dead

kodzuken: same

pls chill: id say same but my friend says thats a negative way to think so :/

i await the sweet release of death: @fuckuurstuckwme thats because the world DOES hate you and want you dead

fuck you ur stuck w me: bitch

i await the sweet release of death: say it to my damn face you coward

* * *

amsunshine: my worst fears have been confirmed. 

y(owo)kai: OGMASHAFD 

y(owo)kai: he does like u??!!!

amsunshine: yes. 

pls chill: omg

* * *

amsunshine: sorry i just got home rn 

amsunshine: but anyways

amsunshine: He confessed to me and it was horrible. 

THUNDER: so um hinata im sorry to say but

THUNDER: ur setter has died horribly under suspicious circumstances 

THUNDER: im so sorry my precious kouhai 

y(owo)kai: did you reject him?

fuck you ur stuck w me: how was it?

fuck you ur stuck with me: did he blush? He try to kiss you?

i await the sweet release of death: shut the fuck up tsumu istg u get more annoying veryday

i await the sweet release of death: did you reject him

amsunshine: omg wait 

amsunshine: lets do a group call

amsunshine: instead of a video chat bc im sure some of u are shy yeah?

too pretty for this: whats happening

i await the sweet release of death: ^ scroll up 

god has left me: is this

god has left me: drama????

aliens!! are!! real!!: o.O

aliens!! are!! real!!: share the news please and thank you

no u: sunshine pls note that i am living vivaciously thru you 

no u: and thats on not having any friends irl life 

amsunshine: lesba r u ok

no u: absolutely not! thanks for asking!

amsunshine: wanna talk about it?

no u: absolutely not! thanks for asking!

THUNDER: sunshine, my precious kouhai please start the video call we want to hear how it went down please

amsunshine: ok ok!

**_amsunshine is requesting a video call…_ **

**_video call request accepted…_ **

There was a quiet spell, no one was willing to speak first, until Shouyou took a deep breath and introduced himself. 

“Hi, um, I’m sunshine, uh, nice to, uh, meet you guys?” God, that was awkward, why is this so hard? Usually Shouyou is very out-going and bubbly.  _ Because these are people you’ve only ever talked to online, Shouyou. _ Aaand that was his conscience, Shouyou is so glad it’s working fine. 

“I’m Thunder!”, ah yes, his senpai, Nishinoya to the rescue. Shouyou is once again very grateful for him. Nishinoya’s introduction seemed to fuel the others into introducing themselves. 

There was a loud cackle followed by a wheeze. That would be Miracle, Shouyou is familiar enough with that laugh after months of playing online games with him. “As some of you know, I am Miracle and I’m here for the drama, Sunshine, please, tell us how it went.” 

The others followed soon, Tsumu and Samu from the same mic, since they were apparently brothers. Chill had a quiet smooth voice. But when Aliens spoke, Tsumu spoke up. 

“Oh my god, Aliens, I’m so sorry but your voice just makes me wanna punch you.” Shouyou was speechless. But before he could think to say something, Aliens whined. 

“Everyone I ever meet always bullies me and I don't know why.” Aliens sound like he was pouting.

“Maybe because you are?” Chill’s voice was amused and teasing. The rest of the group laughed at Alien’s indignant spluttering and even more whining about how no one is ever on his side. 

Thunder interrupted the cajoling and reminded everyone of the reason they were on call. “Maa, maa, Sunshine, how’d Tobi-chan’s confession go?” Shortly before, he and Nishinoya-senpai had agreed on a nickname of Kageyama, simply for the sake of anonymity. At the mention of said boy, Shouyou groaned. Something that apparently amused the group as a whole. A bit of wolf-whistling and teasing arose at his audible frustration. 

“Oh man, that bad Sunshine?” Samu, amused but still somehow sounding deadpan, how did he manage that? Shouyou was extremely impressed at his skills. 

“Oh god, yes,” Shouyou shuddered just remembering what had occurred earlier, “so after practice was over, we left with the entire team to get meat buns, because that’s a team activity and also I love meat buns. So after we get meat buns, he turns to me and says, “hey I wanna tell you something private” and i immediately know where this is going, right? So I go, “yeah sure, no problem”, y’know, like a liar?” He pauses, sucks in a deep breath, everyone is quiet, except for the occasional snicker or giggle, listening to the juicy juicy gossip. 

“And the entire day he’s just been staring at me and blushing at random times so I already knew he was gonna do something right? But I didn’t expect him to do it like that!” Shouyou broke away with a groan, covering his face in both frustration and second-hand embarrassment for the poor soul that decided to catch feelings for him. Between the cries of “What? How did he do it?” He resumes his recounting of the events. 

“So this guy, oh god, this guy walks over to a park bench right? And he just  _ stares  _ at me for a solid thirty seconds and I’m so confused at this moment I’m ready to just leave, and this guys pulls out a teddy bear with a heart and roses and so far so good right? But no, this absolute dumbass goes, “I really like you and I want to cuddle with you and I want you to suck my dick, pretty please”.” 

There was an audible gasp, before someone snorted (Shouyou to this day swears on his life it was Miracle but the latter fervently denies it).

“ _ Oh God, he said that?!”  _

“No fucking way.”

“Asksdjdjdfj.” 

More laughter rang out, Shouyou was pretty sure someone was wheezing. 

“How did you even  _ make _ that noise, oh my God!” 

Shouyou whined, “You  _ guys _ , pay attention!” It still took a bit for everyone to calm down and quiet down. Nishinoya spoke up, “Wait Sunshine is there more?”

Shouyou nodded before he remembered that they couldn't see him, “Oh fuck, yes, ok so he says all that right, and of course, my dumb gay monkey brain goes, tell him you have a boyfriend, and my absolute idoiot self  _ does _ , so now this boy thinks I have a boyfriend and I need a fake boyfriend so he can back off… So like, who wants to volunteer?” 

Miracle was the first one to answer, “As fun as it sounds, Sunshine, I am in a committed relationship with someone I like very much so like… can’t help you there.”

Everyone else said something in the same lines. Shouyou sighed, “Alright, it's fine guys, thanks for listening anyway. I’m logging off so I can scream in my pillow for five hours now, Bye!” 

“Wait Sunshine!-” It was Nishinoya-senpai, “-tomorrow if Tobi-chan isn’t there it's because he died a horrible, painful death that will totally not be my fault. I’m so sorry my kouhai, it must be hard for you to process this horrible news. But it had to be done” 

Shouyou would’ve laughed harder if there wasn't an edge to his senpai’s voice. “Uh, senpai, you uh, really don't have to um, make all that effort you know.” 

Nishinoya sighed, “No, no, I have to, it's my duty as your senpai.”

“Wow, Thunder-kun, I didn’t know you were this protective over your kouhais,” Aliens was teasing him in a very shrill voice. 

“If you knew him in real life you’d lay down your life for this kid, Aliens, one day, one day we'll meet and you’ll understand my duty.” Nishinoya sounded dead serious. Shouyou could feel his face burning up. 

“ _ Oh my God, senpai!”,  _ Shouyou’s face was redder than rubies. At his cry, there was an explosion of laughter. 

“Holy shit!”

“I can just imagine how red your face is. Sunshine!” 

“AHAHAHA-”

There was a crash, and Samu’s voice rang out, he seemed to be crying with mirth, “Oh-oh my GOD, Tsumu just fell from his bed!” That sent off another round of laughter, Shouyou was pretty sure at  _ least _ three boys were crying with laughter. 

“Nooooo, noo, stooop I can’t stop laughing” someone was complaining while still laughing, Shouyou was pretty sure it was Lesba, someone else was whining about their stomach in between giggling. This round of laughter took much longer to die down, when everyone got it out of their system though, there was a peaceful silence, Shouyou broke it when he glanced at the clock. 

“Oh! Shit! It's late! Alright I’m gonna go to sleep guys. Goodnight!” Everyone else said their goodbyes and logged off, Shouyou sat in front of his desk a little bit longer, before groaning and throwing himself onto his bed.  _ What am I going to do?  _

* * *

**_private chat between you and prettyplayboy_ **

**prettyplayboy:** hey hey

**prettyplayboy:** were u serious abt the needing a fake bf thing

**you:** um,

**you:** yeah, kinda

**you:** why????

**prettyplayboy:** ill do it

**you:** wait

**you:** what?

**prettyplayboy** : i said ill do it

**prettyplayboy** : ill pretend to be ur bf 

**you:** omfg

**you** : ur serious abt this? 

**prettyplayboy** : yes

**prettyplayboy** : only if ur down tho

**you** : oh fuk

**you** : yeah sure

**you** : but y tho

**prettyplayboy** : y what?

**you** : why do you want to “date” me

**you** : we’ve only met like a week ago and we haven't even seen each others’ faces.

**you** : we dont even know each other’s real names

**prettyplayboy** : i mean u have a point

**prettyplayboy** : but also, if we do end up fake dating, at worst its just gonna be awkward and at best we’ll be like, best friends yea?

**you** : hmmm

**you** : ok fine, let's do it

**prettyplayboy** : noice 

**prettyplayboy** : wait let's exchange numbers

**you:** yea ok

**prettyplayboy:** oh by the way my name is terushima yuuji ;)

**you:** im hinata shouyou :D

  
  


* * *

Unknown number: hey this is terushima ;) 

Hinata: ok cool!!!

Hinata: how is this gonna work

Terushima: well first of all we gotta send each other pictures for profile pics obvs

Hinata: u first

Terushima: :( 

Terushima: wow my bf doesnt trust me 

Hinata: wow, i already hate u 

Terushima: :0 

Terushima: *image sent* 

Hinata: oh no ur hot

Hinata: wait actually this is perfect r gonna be gr8 arm candy

Hinata: *image sent* 

Terushima: uwu baby boy 

Hinata: i will fight you through the screen fucker

Terushima: aha ;)

Terushima: is that a promise? 

Hinata: i hate you so much

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: hi yes id look to make a public service announcement

prettyplayboy: he loves me :00000!!!! 

THUNDER: wHAT

y(owo)kai: how the FUC K

amsunshine: shima pls die in a ditch

amsunshine: but yes, me and @prettyplayboy are DaTinG

too pretty for this: for realsies or for shit and giggles?

prettyplayboy: :0, me and sunshine’s love is very much real thank you very much

amsunshine: thunder-senpai would actually kill you if we were really dating

amsunshine: i hope you know that

prettyplayboy: ill take my chances w such a cute boyo like u ;)

THUNDER: sunshine just say the words and ill get rid of this fucker forever ok? 

amsunshine: uwu

amsunshine: yes senpai 

amsunshine: and semi, no we’re not actually dating we agreed on three weeks just fr the shts and giggles 

too pretty for this: ahhh ok

too pretty for this: gl

amsunshine: ty 

prettyplayboy: :0

prettyplayboy: ill have u know i am the Best Fake Boyfriend Ever

THUNDER: just say the words sunshine

amsunshine: sigh

prettyplayboy: this is bullying 

fuck you ur stuck w me: idk wtf is going on but u deserve it 

prettyplayboy: >:0

* * *

amsunshine: listen

amsunshine: ik im like “dating” someone, but like,,,,

prettyplayboy: that guy was pretty fucking hot im ngl

too pretty for this: whats??? Going??? On??

THUNDER: yea wtf is going on

amsunshine: me and shima were hanging out today and we saw this really hot dude and he smiled at us and i was ready to have his babies hnnnnng

prettyplayby: basically

THUNDER: sunshine ur not allowed to do naughty stuff until i'm dead

amsunshine: and three more days just to make sure?

THUNDER: yes

prettyplayboy: lmao

THUNDER: i will hurt you

* * *

prettyplayboy:  **COULD I 🙋🏾♀️✨GET 🤲🏽THAT 🤔 TRON 🍹💨 COULD I 🙋🏾♀️✨ GET 🤲🏽 THAT 🧐 REMY🥂 COULD I 🙋🏾♀️✨ GET 🤲🏽THAT 🤔 COKE 🥤COULD I 🙋🏾♀️✨ GET THAT HENNY 🥃 COULD I 🙋🏾♀️✨ GET 🤲🏽THAT 🤔 MARGARITA 🍸 ON THE ROCK 🧗🏾♀️ROCK 🧗🏾♀️ROCKS 🧗🏾♀️, COULD I 🙋🏾♀️✨ GET 🤲🏽 SALT 🧂🔥 ALL AROUND ⭕️ THAT RIM 😋 RIM 🤤💅🏾RIM 😵 RIM 😷. TREY? 😓👨🏾🦱 I 🙋🏾♀️✨ WAS LIKE 🤔 YO TREY? 👨🏾🦱 DO YOU 👉🏾THINK 🤔 YOU COULD BUY 💸💰 ME 🙋🏾♀️✨ A BOTTLE 🍷🍾 OF ROSÉ 🌷?**

**OKAY 👌🏽✨ LET'S GET 🤲🏽 IT NOW ❗️**

fuck you ur stuck w me: SHUT UP SHUT UP 

fuck you ur stuck w me: I HATE YOU

god has left me: i hate it here

amsunshine: shima kindly stfu

prettyplayboy: smh no one gets my artistic value


	5. i hate it here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hinata's a thirsty boyo here  
> as always, mom im sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres the list on who's who  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u   
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me   
> Iwachan: stfu  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this

amsunshine: ok so mistakes may have been made

amsunshine: i may have fucked up

y(owo)kai: OWO??? cursing so soon?? sunshine???? 

amsunshine: stfu

amsunshine: its very serious

amsunshine: i had sex w someone

**_several people are typing…_ **

THUNDER: WAIT!! 

WHUNDER: WJAT

y(owo)kai: holy shit sunshine

fuck you ur stuck w me : what

no u: wait

no u: wah??

no u: who???

god has left me: ^ yeah that

THUNDER: yeah who corrupted my precious kouhai? >:(

THUNDER: not even ur mom will be able to identify ur body when im done w u >:( 

prettyplayboy: yo

prettyplayboy: ;) 

prettyplayboy: that'd be me 

no u: no fucking way

fuck you ur stuck w me: holy shit

amsunshine: omg 

amsunshine: i hate u so much rn

prettyplayboy: aw kiddo u hurt me :( 

amsunshine: you cant call me kiddo when your dick was inside my body like twenty minutes ago

y(owo)kai: :0

y(owo)kai: omg this is amazing im cackling 

fuck you ur stuck with me: wtf is going on im crying im so confused

too pretty for this: how stupid r u dude

i await the sweet release of death: u’d be surprised dude

too pretty for this: sunshine and shima had sex and everyone’s freaking out

THUNDER: ok so

THUNDER: shima, dont sleep at all bc i will find you

THUNDER: if i see a single hickey on my kouhai i'm siccing my captain and vice captain on u 

prettyplayboy: lmao ok

* * *

THUNDER: *image sent*

THUNDER: tell your family you love them while you still can

too pretty for this: HOly SHiT

god has left me: godamn thats huge

amsunshine: senpai im sorry!!!!

THUNDER: no my kouhai

THUNDER: its not youre fault

amsunshine: i mean, 

amsunshine: ok yea

prettyplayboy: HFKAGHR WHAT

prettyplayboy: kinda fucked how u didnt even ask to see MY hickies

fuck you urstuck w me: no one wants to 

prettyplayboy: *image sent* 

amsunshine: …

i await the sweet release of death: WHAT THE FUCK

y(owo)kai: OWO????

y(owo)kai: sunshine??????

y(owo)kai: that was your doing????

amsunshine: so senpai, do you still want shima’s address or?

prettyplayboy: AFHSGIHWER WAIT

THUNDER: Yes. 

prettyplayboy: WAIT A DAMN MINUTE

prettyplayboy: wait fuck im worried now, 

prettyplayboy: sunshine, you didnt actually send it to him right

amsunshine: :)

no u: y do i hear boss music rn

god has left me: thats what im wondering too

* * *

amsunshine: sad to announce that my relationship didn’t work out

amsunshine: am heartbroken

prettyplayboy: we tried so hard but sometimes these things just dont work out

prettyplayboy: my bed will always be open for you sunshine ;)

amsunshine: nasty ass

y(owo)kai: he wasnt worth ur love king

aliens!! are!! real!!: he wasnt wit it smh

THUNDER: you deserve better than trash my precious kouhai

prettyplayboy: i am RIGHT HERE

aliens!! are!! real!!: and?

* * *

amsunshine: i met a boy!!!!

THUNDER: huh

THUNDER: when 

THUNDER: whats his name, what school does he go to

amsunshine: ill tell u later, but hes really cool!!!!!! 

amsunshine: he likes video games and hes really quiet!!!!!

amsunshine: hes very cool and he plays volleyball too!!! 

THUNDER: ever since @prettyplayboy i havent slept without worry for u kouhai

amsunshine: im sorry!!!!

* * *

amsinshine: PRACTICE MATCH PRATCTICCE MATCH

THUNDER: PRACTICE MATCH PRACTICE MATCH PRACTICE MATCH AHHHHHh

kodzuken: u guys are having a practice match then? 

THUNDER: YESSSSSSSS DFERNEV 

pls chill: not to be rude or anything,

pls chill: but why are you so excited? 

pls chill: its just a practice match? 

THUNDER: JUST AJ PRACTICE MATCH SIR 

amsunshine: k since im new i dont really know the whole story but, my school used to be a giant in volleyball right,

amsunshine: like im talking winnign nationals for years giants, but then like over time we like, fell? And so our name was like, not as important anymore and now our advisor like BEGS, for practice matches 

amsunshine: and our old rival school agreed!!!!

amsunshine: which is gr8!!!!!!

* * *

amsunshine: u kno wjat

amsunshine: im just gomnna say it

THUNDER: sunshine no 

amsunshine: sunshine yes

fuck you ur stuck w me: whats he gonna say

THUNDER: just wait

amsunshine: ushijima wakatoshi looks like he knows how to treat me RIGHT

fuck you ur stuck w me: id treat u right

i await the sweet release of death: no yu fucking wont

i await the sweet release of death: and besides arent u dating some girl rn

fuck you ur stuck w me: ok and? 

god has left me: sunshine what brought this on? 

amsunshine: he was featured in the volleyball magazine and i was captivated

y(owo)kai: OWO???

THUNDER: hes been talking abt it th whole practice amd i might just custom make a body pillow for him so he can shut the fuck up 

amsunshine: uhm actually give it to tobi-chan

amsunshine: the stupid ass actually popped a boner @ the thought of setting for him

amsunshine: the dumb bitch 

THUNDER: ha

THUNDER: fuck team dad just yalled at us to get off our phone byebye

* * *

pls chill: kakashi from naruto is fucking daddy

aliens!! are!! real!!: THANK YOu

aliens!! are!! real!!: FINALLY, someone w TASTE

aliens!! are!! real!!: all my friends keep saying its weird to pay attention to that but im gay 

THUNDER: oh god

THUNDER: here he comes

pls chill: who

amsunshine: hi

amsunshine: oooh

THUNDER: fuck

aliens!! are!! real!!: sunshine!!!!!

THUNDER: dont enouurage him aliens pls 

THUNDER: im begging u

aliens!! are!! real!!: shhhhhh

aliens!! are!! real!!: do u think hatake kakashi from naruto is hot

amsunshine: listen,

amsunshine: hatake kakashi could break my heart,

amsunshine: and i’d THANK him

too pretty for this: ok but, 

too pretty for this: this is genma erasure

too pretty for this: i’d let him hit it ANYday

god has left me: oh my god, 

god has left me: dont get semi start on hot anime characters he has a fucking LIST

too pretty for this: leave me alone

too pretty for this: if i cant get myself a boyfriend i will comfort myself with anime boys ok

* * *

amsunshine: okokok so

amsunshine: at the practice match the captain was fucking hot

amsunshine: like im talking id have his babies in a heartbeat if he asked me

THUNDER: pls stop thirsting over every guy you meet sunshine 

amsunshine: no.

amsunshine: leave me alone

no u: my captain says that i cant play in practice matches until my receives get better :(

THUNDER: as the best libero ever, cant relate

kodzuken: uhm u r rong

kodzuken: my team's libero is the best thanks

THUNDER: i will physically fight you

kodzuken: please dont

THUNDER: say im the best libero then

kodzuken: no

amsunshine: lesba its ok, i cant recieve well either, 

THUNDER: sunshine, as my kouhai, ill teach you how to receive better, 

THUNDER: where r u now

amsunshine: uh

amsunshine: definitely not at the gym still practicing

THUNDER: …

THUNDER: fine, stay where you are ill go there

amsunshine: okok!!!!

* * *

amsunshine: INTERHIGH TOURAMENT IMTEHIGH TOURNAMENT

amsunshine: I'M TERRIFIED!!!!!!!

too pretty for this: good luck sunshine

too pretty for ths: is this your first time playing in an official tournament? 

amsunshine: YES!!! And THANK YOU!!!!

THUNDER: DONT WORRY KOUHAI WE”RE GONNA KICK SOME ASS

y(owo)kai: remember what i’ve said abt blocking sunshine~

amsunshine: ok!!!!

* * *

amsunshine: we won!!!!

y(owo)kai: OWO

y(owo)kai: thats great sunshine!

THUNDER: i told u we’d win!!

* * *

aliens!! are!! real!!: damn maybe these birds can fly

pls chill: ???

kodzuken: wdym?? 

aliens!! are!! real!!: nah its nothing 

kodzuken: if u say so

* * *

amsunshine: FUCK

THUNDER: its ok sunshine, we got next time

amsunshine: i hate it here

amsunshine: its my fault we lost. 

THUNDER: where are you right now?

amsunshine: my house

THUNDER: im coming over, 

amsunshine: i-

amsunshine: ok

aliens!! are!! real!!: wow

aliens!! are!! real!!: need me a friend like that

* * *

aliens!! are!! real!!: FUCK

too pretty for this: what happened? 

aliens!! are!! real!!: my team lost against the same fucking team as last year

aliens!! are!! real!!: i hate it here

y(owo)kai: lmao couldnt be my team

god has left me: miracle dont antagonize people

y(owo)kai: >:( let me live!!

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: sunshine hasnt been on in a while, and its kinda quiet w/o him

fuck you ur stuck w me: @amsunshine u guys ok

i await the sweet release of death: simp

fuck you ur stuck w me: shut the fuck up i swear to god samu 

THUNDER: hes ok, hes just,,,,

THUNDER: we’ll be ok

THUNDER: soon 

* * *

amsunshine: hi im back, 

too pretty for this: welcome back

too pretty for this: how are you doing?

amsunshine: oh u know, just had a breakdown and fought againt my crippling inferiority complex

amsunshine: same old same old

too pretty for this: oh

amsunshine: anyway i have very exciting news to share,

amsunshine: me n @THUNDER and the rest of our team are going to tokyo!! for a training camp!!!

amsunshine: huge thanks @ nekoma's coach,

amsunshine: anyways gotta blast

no u: wait a fucking second


	6. of cats and dads in 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i did end up deleting the other chapter just bc it felt a little too raw, my deepest thank you's to those who commented to take care of myself i cried a little when i saw that thank you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, mom im sorry  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u   
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me   
> Iwachan: stfu  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this

**_private chat between you and no u_ **

**no u:** wait sunshine

**no u:** you mentioned nekoma's coach, 

**no u** : are you going to the training camp nekoma is hosting? 

**you** : uh yes?

**you** : how’d u know?

**no** **u** : DUDE

**no u** : I GO TO NEKOMA

**no u:** IM ON THE VOLLEYBALL TEAM

**no u** : WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO MEET

**you** : HOLD THE FUC K ON

**you:** QUICK QUICK WHATS UR NAME I WANNA YELL IT OUT AND SEE IF UR THERE WHEN WE GET THERE

**no u** : IM LEV HAIBA IM HALF RUSSIAN AND HALF JAPANESE BUT I LIVED HERE IN JAPAN MY HOLE LIFE ASSDLDAJS

**you** : NO FUCKING WAY IM HINATA SHOUYOU 

**you:** IGISUDYSYTKUGKUH 

**you:** WAIT WAIT 

**you:** can we do a video call so we can see each other omg

**no u:** yes!!!!!

**no u:** rn?

**you:** yes!!!

**_amsunshine is requesting a video call…_ **

**_video call request accepted…_ **

Hinata turned on his camera just in time to see a boy settle into a chair. And, oh, _oh no_ , he was cute. Silver hair, and green eyes, and oh god, a smile that could and probably  _ would _ become killer in a couple of years. He blinked and focused on what the boy was saying, or the lack thereof, he looked at the boy and they caught each other's eyes and began to giggle. 

“Hi, I’m Hinata Shouyou! I’m a first year student and I play volleyball for the Karasuno volleyball team!” Why was this so nerve wracking every time he did this? The boy quickly introduced himself. “I’m Lev Haiba, I’m a first year student and I’m a member at Nekoma’s volleyball team!” 

They grinned at each other in plain excitement, and then it was as if the dam broke because they began to talk to each other and over each other in an earnest tone. An outsider wouldn't have understood a word, rapid-fire questions answered just as quickly and hand gestures that would be a danger if anyone had been in the vicinity of both boys. Hinata was nearly jumping in place and Lev wasn’t far behind. 

“Ne, ne, Hinata! You’re in Miyagi right?”, Lev asked after they had calmed down a bit. Hinata nodded, a bit confused. Lev seemed to vibrate and his smile widened, “Ok ok, so my family has some friends in Miyagi they've been wanting to visit and we're gonna stay for a week and I was wondering if we could meet up in like, real life so we can like, see each other.” 

Lev’s green cat eyes widen, before he rushes out in a panic, “Wait no! Well, yes, but it um, came out wrong! Like, I want to see you- Wait! ARGH! It’s just-” 

Hinata laughed delightedly, it's nice to see someone else get as flustered as him sometimes. He grinned at Lev, “No, yeah, I totally get what you’re saying, you wanna meet up sometimes when you get here yeah?” 

Lev nodded relieved and still kind of red from his cheeks to the top of his ears. Hinata grinned and they made plans and exchanged numbers. They both said their goodbyes and Hinata ended the call. He sat there for a few minutes before whooping and hollering before Natsu told him to shut up. He called an apology down the hallway before throwing himself on his bed and grinning into his pillow. This was a very good day. 

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: PREPARE FOR TROUBLE

no u: AND MAKE IT DOUBLE

THUNDER: quick everyone hold on to ur braincells 

THUNDER: its dumb and dumber

no u: >:0000

amsunshine: lesba ur dumber im dumb

no u: im dumb ur dumber thanks

amsunshine: come back over ill fight u 

no u: omw 

amsunshine: where r u, u coward

no u: i'm in the train rn stay where u are

amsunshine: ok 

fuck you ur stuck w me: wait yall met

THUNDER: they did

THUNDER: it was pretty fun ngl

I await the sweet release of death: u were there too?

THUNDER: i had to make sure they didnt fuck

amsunshine: ASADHSAV SENAPI PLS

no u: i would never :0

kodzuken: not trying to be That Person but,,,

kodzuken: i’d literally yeet myself into space if i met people from here irl.

amsunshine: :( 

amsunshine: why???

kodzuken: i am v different online vs irl

aliens!! are!! real!!: but ur barely online???

kodzuken: and what afuckingbout it bitch

aliens!! are!! real!!: are you not this vulgar online???

kodzuken: absolutely not. 

stfu: same

aliens!! are!! real!!: u too tho??? 

stfu: im too busy being in love w my setter sorry

THUNDER: lmao tobi-can wishes sunshine was in ur shoes

amsunshine: SENPAI STOP

amsunshine: we agreed to be friends and we’ve made progress!!!

amsunshine: he has a crush on nicholas romero he told me himself!!!!

THUNDER: until he gets married w someone who isnt u ill never stop distrusting his intentions towards u

amsunshine: ill take it

* * *

prettyplayboy: all im saying is if you don't want bloodthirsty little starfish to suck on your blood between ur toes, dont wear lime green crocs, wear the neon purple ones

fuck you ur stuck w me: do you

fuck you ur stuck w me: do you ever shut up?

fuck you ur stuck w me: or think? 

prettyplayboy: fuck no

THUNDER: @fuckyouurstuckwme want me to send u his address

fuck you ur stuck w me: yes pls @THUNDER

prettyplayboy: now wait a damn minute

* * *

amsunshine: HELLO AND WLECOME TO SUNSHIN EXPOSES HIS SENPAI W UR HOST SUNSHINE

THUNDER: NO STOP IM SORRY

amsunshine: no uve dug ur own grave now lay in it

y(owo)kai: OWO???? Drama???

amsunshine: oh hi miracle where have u been

y(owo)kai: oh u know crushing dreams and whatnot

amsunshine: fun! 

amsunshine: anyway today when we were in the club room changing i saw thunder w a huge hickey on his shoulder so his argument that i cant fuck is now invalid!!!!! >:)

THUNDER: NO STOP THATS NOT TRU 

THUNDER: IM TELLING U MY FRIEND FUCKING YEETED A VOLLEYBLL @ MY SHOULDER

amsunshine: oh so the vollyball had teeth then huh

THUNDER: fuc k

y(owo)kai: never change boys, never change

too pretty for this: just want to let u know hes grinning like a loony rn

god has left me: hes cackling

god has left me: mom pick me up im scared

too pretty for this: come to my dorm instead

god has left me: omw

y(owo)kai: OWO???? WHATS THIS

god has left me: shut up im about as aro as it gets asshole and we’ve only done it one time

too pretty for this: we agreed to stay as strictly friends. 

y(owo)kai: cool im coming over

too pretty for this: no we’re smoking weed 

y(owo)kai: even better 

god has left me: fuck no ur gonna hog the blunt to urself

amsunshine: wtf and u guys dont invite me smh

THUNDER: WHAT

amsunshine: oops gotta blast kids

THUNDER: what a damn minute 

THUNDER: where are u now

amsunshine: totally not disappointing my parents somewhere

THUNDER: sunshine

amsunshine: im at shima’s house lol

prettyplayboy: yo ;)

THUNDER: i still have ur address dont test me 

THUNDER: pls be careful my kouhai 

amsunshine: always and forever

* * *

amsunshine: ok can someone tell me why i forgot i had piercings and why i had to have lesba point them out

no u: tell them about the hot guy we saw

amsunshine: afhsfhof omg i forgot about the hot guy

amsunshine: also we saw this dude with cool piercing and i wanted to ask him where he got his piercings from but i was too scared to as him

no u: i didnt ask him bc he was with the Hot Guy and i am so very gay

THUNDER: oh fuc k 

THUNDER: just remembered my own piercing aha

amsunshine: WOHSAHGQWQE WHAT

no u: S H O W U S

THUNDER: where are u guys

no u: we’re at the park near ur school

THUNDER: ok im going over there rn

god has left me: i just wanna know how your parents let u go out the house

god has left me: my mom didn’t let me leave the house until the start of third yr

too pretty for this: ^^^ same

amsunshine: uh she doesnt really care?? Shes always out and me and my little sister kinda take care of ourselves

amsunshine: the neighbor usually takes care of my sister when i have late practice and rn shes at my auntie’s house for the week

too pretty for this: she 

too pretty for this: WHAT

god has left me: ur dad?????

amsunshine: hes working overseas 

y(owo)kai: OWO????? 

THUNDER: sunshine im ur dad now

y(owo)kai: no i wanna be his dad

THUNDER: coparenting

THUNDER: but im dad

y(owo)kai: ill fight u for the dad position

THUNDER: bet

god has left me: WAIT WHAT ABOUT @nou

no u: oh

no u: my parents are fine w it, they’re visiting some friends for the week and my older sister always drops me off where me and sunshine meet 

stfu: sunshine im ur dad now no takebacks

amsunshine: ok!!!!

THUNDER: WHAT

y(owo)kai: so this is what betrayal feels like 

amsunshine: im sorry

amsunshine: u n thunder can be my older brothers

y(owo)kai: im the oldest of us therefore im the oldest older brother @THUNDER 

too pretty for this: that doesnt make any sense and you know it

THUNDER: fair

god has left me: miracle has one brain cell and he uses it on volleyball 

god has left me: u know this semi, we’ve talked abt it

y(owo)kai: i dont appreciate being spoken of like this!!!!! >:(

amsunshine: its ok people say i only have one brain cell too

y(owo)kai: >:(

* * *

stfu: hey quick question how do i kill my captain without actually killing my captain

aliens!! are!! real!!: as a captain i strongly recommend not doing that \\(=u 3 u=)/~

kodzuken: that's a great question and i’d like to know too

pls chill: as someone who’s in love with his captain but also sick of his shit i felt that

stfu: no yeah for sure im head over fucking heals in love with his stupid shitty ass

kodzuken: wow are we actually the same person bc i Felt That

amsunshine: imagine not thinking your captain is ur dad can't relate 

stfu: i thought i was ur dad sunshine 

amsunshine: its 2020 i can have two dads

pls chill: revolutionary

pls chill: wait u have no mom

pls chill: im ur mom now,

pls chill: go to bed

amsunshine: its currently 1:17 in the afternoon?

kodzuken: time isnt real go to bed loser

amsunshine: mom kodzu is bullying me

pls chill: time out corner kodzu

kodzuken: i hate this family 

stfu: dont talk to your mother like that

kodzuken: ok

* * *

amsunshine: help i introduced lesba to the wonderous world of weed bc he found my baggie and he was curious right so he tried it and i mixed up the sativa and indica 

amsunshine: so now we’re high as fuck watching the stars at some park and he wont stop laughing at how we breathe

THUNDER: sunshine

THUNDER: its still afternoon, the sun is still out

no u: bro isnt it fucked how we just out here BREATHIN

no u: liek we just fucking dbrewthe no stopiign

amsunshine: hes a goner boys

y(owo)kai: OWO??????? where???? Are????? U???????

y(owo)kai: im telling mom AND dad

amsunshine: u fucking wont

y(owo)kai: u still got weed left

amsunshine: ,,,,,,,,,,yes,,,

y(owo)kai: send me ur location and i wont snitch

amsunshine: pinky promise

y(owo)kai: yes

amsunshine: ok

* * *

y(owo)kai: hey quick question @amsunshine where the FUCK did u find this

too pretty for this: what happened

y(owo)kai: i dont think ill ever smoke w u n shira again

god has left me: y

no u: when u go down the stairs, ur legs go up and then down

no u: and ur never really facing back or forward on stairs

too pretty for this: u got high w/o us

god has left me: why do i feel betrayed

amsunshine: miracle ur fucking TALL

amsunshine: woah 

y(owo)kai: yes its real

god has left me: wha happened

y(owo)kai: hes touched The Hair

no u: am hnfry and want food

y(owo)kai: great idea lets get food

* * *

  
y(owo)kai: how do u too eat so much  
  
amsunshine: its called munchies

no u: we got em

amsunshine: cant wait to go to nekoma and lay against u lesba 

no u: same

y(owo)kai: ur literally across from each other????

amsunshine: its funner to text each other

y(owo)kai: youth these days smh

* * *

kodzuken: wait nekoma?

kodzuken: oh fuc k

stfu: what happened

kodzuken: dad i need u to yeet me off this planet asap

stfu: cant do that due to personal reasons

kozuken: fuck 

* * *

god has left me: due to personal reasons i will be screaming into the void at exactly 2:20am tonight

aliens!! are!! real!!: why????

god has left me: just need to blow off some steam

fuck you ur stuck w me: i recommend punching the air as well

fuck you ur stuck w me: its Very Relaxing

i await the sweet release of death: might i suggest eating your feeling away? 

stfu: murder is always an option

pls chill: murder is NOT an option please refraim from murdering people

pls chill: @stfu please stop encouraging murder

stfu: just call me haj, 

stfu: and no, murder is always on the table

pls chill: haj, it is most certainly NOT on the table, its not even in the room good sir

amsunshine: ooooh mom and dad are arguing

god has left me: oooh drama

god has left me: tsumu and samu, ur recommendations are noted and appreciated, dad pls fucking calm down

* * *

prettyplayboy: if u could 

i await the sweet release of death: is there an option for dying

prettyplayboy: no

i await the sweet release of death: then no

prettyplayboy: fuck

stfu: watch your fucking mouth

prettyplayboy: :0

prettyplayboy: ok dad sorry dad

amsunshine: haj out here being the dad i NEED

stfu: go to bed its late

i await the sweet release of death: tsumu is playing god of war 

fuck you ur stuck w me: samu u fucking snitch

stfu: GO TO BED

fuck you ur stuck w me: ok

* * *

amsunshine: damn maybe i do want a serious boyfriend

THUNDER: what brought this on

amsunshine: i saw a cute couple and one guy bought his bf flowers and kissed his cheek

amsunshine: i want that

THUNDER: you'll find ur bf someday

amsunshine: i thought i wasnt allowed to date anyone until u were dead and wait three days just to make sure?

THUNDER: im more concerned about you being happy kouhai

amsunshine: oh-

too pretty for this: brb crying in the club rn

i await the sweet release of death: ik this isnt directed at me but im still going to feel fuzzy and warm inside

* * *


	7. brain cells unite! with weed!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the training camp boys meet >:) and as always mom im sorry  
> here's whos who  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u  
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me  
> Iwachan: stfu  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres talk about using weed as a recreational drug so if ur uncomfy just skip the last bit where kenma says shut the fuck up :3c. also i think this is my longest chapter yet. also for the time being hinata will stay single, but im wondering if i should make it semi/hina (slowburn) or atsu/hina (also slowburn) or even kuro/hina. psa i dont think i'll be making kuroken a thing im sorry!

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

prettyplayboy: do you think that if i can remove two ribs from each side id be able to give myself a blowjob

fuck you ur stuck w me: dude

fuck you ur stuck w me: shut the FUCK up i swear to god

i await the sweet release of death: shut up tsumu u fucking faker u laughed when you read that

fuck you ur stuck w me: traitor

i await the sweet release of death: :3c

* * *

amsunshine: before i say anything

amsunshine: u have to promise not to overreact

THUNDER: too late im already planning the death

stfu: as i was saying

stfu: murder is always an option

pls chill: wait to hear him out PLEASE

amsunshine: this guy who was watching me play volleyball w a friend told me im shit at volleyball and that i should quit

amsunshine: and im not sure how to feel abt it

pls chil: so anyway your father, haj, was wrong

stfu: WHAT

pls chill: murder is the only answer for this 

stfu: oh

stfu: yes

THUNDER: k so um lemme just

THUNDER: @tooprettyforthis @godhasleftme @nou @kodzuken @iawaitthesweetreleaseofdeath @fuckyouurstuckwme @aliens!!are!!real!! @prettyplayboy @y(owo)kai 

THUNDER: get on losers we're fucking someone up 

y(owo)kai: oh truly??

y(owo)kai: why

THUNDER: someone is talking shit about sunshine 

y(owo)kai: oh 

y(owo)kai: ok then

fuck you ur stuck w me: ok but, does sunshine suck? 

THUNDER: i will not hesitate to rip your esophagus out

i await the sweet release of death: please excuse my brother he suffers from a chronic disease called asshole bitchitis 

amsunshine: my receives and serves have been getting better :(

fuck you ur stuck w me: hmmm

fuck you ur stuck w me: send my ur address ill make u better

i await the sweet release of death: simp alert

fuck you ur stuck w me: FUCK YOU 

THUNDER: can we focus back on the murder on hand

THUNDER: my wonderful lovely precious innocent absolute darling of a kouhai who doesnt deserve this SLANDER has been slandered 

THUNDER: therefore i have been moved to commit a felony

aliens!! are!! real!!: i can get my not-boyfriend to come w us

stfu: no aliens, thats stupid dont involve anyone else

aliens!! are!! real!!: >:0

stfu: so anyway murder is on the table right

pls chill: yes

pls chill: sunshine, give us a name and a face so we know who we're gonna deal w

amsunshine: uh

amsunshine: he said his name was kyoutani???? 

aliens!! are!! real!!: wait justa damn fucking minute

amsunshine: oh wait hold up hes coming back brb

stfu: what ehf fucfje 

* * *

amsunshine: ok good news! 

stfu: we can murder him?

amsunshine: no, he apologized

stfu: damnit

amsunshine: i also have a date and a new number in my phone 

THUNDER: wait a damn minute

aliens!! are!! real!!: 

stfu: sunshine,,,,,,,,,,

amsunshine: (uwu)

stfu: ok so that's not allowed

aliens!! are!! real!!: wait u kno him

stfu: yes?? 

aliens!! are!! real!!: wtf

amsunshine: anyway whats wrong w kyoutani :(

stfu: whats RIGHT w kyoutani

aliens!! are!! real!!: ´3´

* * *

amsunshine: due to personal reasons i will be committing patricide and then hauling ass to tokyo, @nou prepare a futon for me pretty please

no u: huh

pls chill: wha-

stfu: as ur dad i highly and strongly recommend you DONT do that

amsunshine: no no, my dad, the one that works overseas?? He came back and he said that if i dont get a b average hes gonna make me quit volleyball even though he knows i love volleyball more than anything so it kinda fucking sucks lmao

amsunshine: well at least my sister can eat home meals now

stfu: so as i was saying, im ur dad now and that's a shitty move

amsunshine: yea

amsunshine: logging off boys i gotta study now

no u: what does patricide mean 

stfu: oh boy

* * *

amsunshine: ok so the date went well but i dont think i like him that way lol

stfu: thank fucking god

stfu: kyoutani is a fucking menace to this world

aliens!! are!! real!!: i think he’s okay |O 3 O|

stfu: ok well youre opinion doesnt matter bc ur wrong

amsunshine: lmao

aliens!! are!! real!!: so mean!!!!

* * *

amsunshine: WE'RE LINKING UP WHATS UP FUCKERS

THUNDER: AAHAHAHAA AHOGH 

no u: AFJAFWVVNV WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUU

amsunshine: WERE OTW WAIT FOR US 

no u: HURRY UPPPPPPP

THUNDER: ITS THE RETURN OF THE THREE MUSKETEERS 

no u: FUCK YEAASAHHHH

too pretty for this: my three brain cells after finals are over

god has left me: how do you have this much energy 

amsunshine: i drank five espresso shots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

too pretty for this: what the fuck

god has left me: just do cocaine at this point

amsunshine: you got like 45 bucks? 

prettyplayboy: whats this about cocaine

stfu: no one is doing hard drugs while you're at a training camp 

THUNDER: however, after, is another story

no u: my half russian heritage is begging me to show you the different breeds of vodka

stfu: holy shit please do i think i need it

no u: you good haj??? 

no u: you havent been online in a bit

stfu: im fine

too pretty for this: sounds fake but okay

* * *

amsunshine: WERE HERE!!!!!!!!!!! 

no u: COME THE FUC VER WERE IN THE GYMMMMMMMMM

THUNDER: SUNSHIE WAIT FOR ME DAMNIT

y(owo)kai: damn maybe i do want to be in a regular training camp

god has left me: if only for the sole reason to meet all these guys for fucking sure

y(oww)kai: imagine not seeing them irl could never owo

amsunshine: ASWNVT YVW 

amsunshine: BRBR IMMA OG FIND MY BEST FRIEND SWITH THUNFERE

THUNDER: IS UFCKING SERE HIM RIGHT THER E

* * *

Hinata and Nishinoya were vibrating in place. After seeing the hot as fuck Nekoma captain and sharing a grin with Noya about the guy’s frankly amazing looks, they were given directions to the gym and sprinted like it held the answer to growing taller. 

Hinata and Nishinoya scanned the interior of the gym, looking for a head of sleek silver and long limbs. Nishinoya smacked him repeatedly and pointed at Lev, whose back was turned to them. They turned pleading eyes to Daichi who at that point sighed, long since having regretted letting them drink that many espresso shots ( he firmly doesn’t think about how he also egged them on to see who could drink five espresso shots without getting caught. It ended up in a tie and Asahi shoved bread into his pants to munch on later). He gestured at them to go ahead and do whatever it was they wanted to do with a warning to both of them to not interrupt any teams’ warmups. 

The warning fell on deaf ears because Hinata and Nishinoya were sprinting to Lev’s side in seconds. 

“LEVVVVVVVVV!” Twin voices chorused and said boy turned around just in time to see two blurs _slam_ into him. They all fall to the ground but it doesn't stop them from immediately chatting and laughing. They talked over each other and answered half asked questions. In the background Daichi sighed and walked over apologizing to Kuroo for the intrusion and for his unruly teammates while the other just laughed and waved it off. 

“All I want to know is how Chibi-chan knows Lev. I know he knows Kenma, our setter, because they bumped into each other when Kenma was lost.” Kuroo looked curiously at the trio still on the floor. Daichi sighed, already so tired of the antics to come from his two shortest teammates. And here he thought that Hinata was the most innocent and least likely to raise hell. 

Hinata looked up, flushed and happy, “Captain! Let me introduce you to my friend, Haiba Lev! He said he’s gonna become Nekoma’s ace!” 

Kuroo’s cackle startled Hinata and he scrambled off of Lev and hid behind Daichi, trembling and wide-eyed. A head of blond with black roots peaked around the Nekoma captain, half lidded eyes searching for something. “... Shouyou?”

Hinata’s head popped around Daichi at the sound of his first name and brightened. “Kenma! You didn't say you went to Nekoma!” 

The blond, Kenma, squirmed and avoided Hinata’s eyes. “You didn’t ask, Shouyou.” 

Hinata frowned thinking about it. What Kenma said must’ve been true because Hinata nodded with a sheepish smile, “Guess you’re right, Kenma.”

Hinata bit his lip thinking about something and seems to come to a decision. He stepped forward and gently grabbed Kenma’s wrist and tugged him over to where Nishinoya was talking to Lev. Lev’s face lit up and he grinned at Kenma. Kenma made a face at him but was soon reluctantly engaged to the conversation. 

Daichi noticed that Hinata was hiding a pleased smile and a satisfied glint in his eye as he watched Kenma interact with Lev. He wondered briefly about the story behind that and promptly discarded the thought, he already feels too old dealing with them during practice. Knowing relationship gossip is bound to drive him to the grave.

* * *

amsunshine: ok completely unrelated to what we’ve been doing lately but today i found out me lesba and thunder can outrun a cop car if we’re motivated enough to 

no u: :D!!!!! 

THUNDER: we do be going kinda zoom doe (^ 3 *)

y(owo)kai: aww i wanna see if i'm fast enough to outrun a cop car

pls chill: do NOT try and see if you're fast enough to outrun a cop car i CANNOT stress this ENOUGH

pls chill: @stfu PLEASE back me up

stfu: i am also fast enough to outrun a cop car 

y(owo)kai: :0

y(owo)kai: sunshine i thought u were baby :(((((((

amsunshine: i kinda am baby but also

amsunshine: be gay do crime

amsunshine: i live by that saying 

no u: live by the sword die by the sword

too pretty for this: ok capricorn

no u: jokes on u im a scorpio

too pretty for this: me too bitch you aint special

pls chil: please,,,, calm down,,,,,

pls chill: wait what are you guys doing outside its like two in the morning

no u: ,,,,,,,,

THUNDER: ,,,,,,,,,

amsunshine: ,,,,,,not anything illegal 

pls chill: please,,,,,

amsunshine: in our defense, we were left alone and unsupervised and bored for longer than two hours minutes 

pls chill: its 2 in the fucking morning people are asleep and besides arent you guys at a training camp

amsunshine: i will accept my mistakes with pride

no u: thats a problem for future me

THUNDER: what lesba said

* * *

i await the sweet release of death: mongolian throat singing at 3am is not the thing i expected but something i will accept with open arms 

fuck you ur stuck w me: is that what it is

i await the sweet release of death: yes

i await the sweet release of death: why are you awake

fuck you ur stuck w me: in case you forgot, i am your fucking brothr threfore we share the same fucing room and i cant sleep you bitch

i await the sweet release of death: damn ok

amsunshine: try rock mongolian throat singing, it fucking smacks

stfu: go the FUCK to sleep shit heads

i await the sweet release of death: ok dad

fuck you ur stuck w me: sorry dad

* * *

prettyplayboy: today i will cause problems on purpose

fuck you ur stuck w me: im intrested in this

prettyplayboy: we know that some guys in the chat are in training camps so how about we,,, 

prettyplayboy: spam them

fuck you ur stuck w me: hmmmm 

fuck you ur stuck w me: ok

aliens!! are!! real!!: im here to annoy

fuck you ur stuck w me: hmmm @y(owo)kai @stfu @plschill @amsunshine @THUNDER @kodzuken @nou @tooprettyforthis @godhasleftme 

fuck you ur stuck w me: @iawaitthesweetreleaseofdeath get on bitch

i await the sweet release of death: im in the same fuckign room as you

i await the sweet release of death: and no

y(owo)kai: yes

stfu: absolutely not

too pretty for this: i will mute this fucking server for the foreseeable future 

god has left me: no thanks

y(owo)kai: cowards

prettyplayboy: anyway let us commence

i await the sweet release of death: and anyway how do you know who’s in a training camp and who’s not

prettyplayboy: we just keep spamming until they answer

prettyplayboy: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

fuck you ur stuck w me:@amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

y(owo)kai: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

aliens!! are!! real!!: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

fuck you ur stuck w me: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

prettyplayboy: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

y(owo)kai: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

y(owo)kai: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

fuck you ur stuck w me: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

aliens!! are!! real!!: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

prettyplayboy: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

y(owo)kai: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

aliens!! are!! real!!: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

fuck you ur stuck w me: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

aliens!! are!! real!!: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

* * *

Hinata felt his phone vibrate, stop, then it vibrated again and didn’t stop . They were taking a break for lunch so he snatched Kenma and Lev to sit with him outside by a tree to escape the sun’s heat. Lev, who had been toying with his own phone, throwing it up in the air and catching it nearly dropped it when it also started vibrating. Noya-senpai, who for some godforsaken reason never has his phone on vibrate, whipped over to stare at him and Lev in confusion. Shrugging it off, Hinata resolved to check it out later. 

* * *

prettyplayboy: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

fuck you ur stuck w me:@amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

y(owo)kai: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

aliens!! are!! real!!: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

fuck you ur stuck w me: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

prettyplayboy: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

y(owo)kai: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

y(owo)kai: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

fuck you ur stuck w me: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

aliens!! are!! real!!: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

prettyplayboy: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

y(owo)kai: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

aliens!! are!! real!!: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

fuck you ur stuck w me: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

aliens!! are!! real!!: @amsunshine @THUNDER @plschill @kodzuken @nou

aliens!! are!! real!!: is it working yet?

fuck you ur stuck w me: i dont think so 

y(owo)kai: keep going >:)

pls chill: do NOT keep going i will reach through this screen and strangle all of you

y(owo)kai: one answered!!!!!!

pls chill: what was the purpose u fucking fucks

prettyplayboy: causing trouble on purpose >:)

kodzuken: i will murder each and every one of you

fuck you ur stuck w me: gotta catch me first

* * *

Hinata was sitting with Bokuto-san ( _“_ call me sensei, disciple!!”), Akaashi-san (who was unfairly pretty, _whyyyyyyyy_ ), and some others. He was talking to Noya about something or the other when Akaashi, who was texting on his phone, sighed loudly. Hinata glanced over and asked if he was okay. Akaashi smiled at him ( _fuuuuuuuuck, he was really pretty_ ) and responded, “I’m fine Hinata, it's just,” he broke off as another notification dinged on his phone and he answered with a furrowed brow, “this discord server I’m part of keeps spamming my notifications.” 

Hinata's own phone buzzed with yet another message from the server. His stomach started making somersaults and from the corner of his eye he saw Lev and Nishinoya lean over to listen in on their conversation. Lev couldn't contain his excitement and glanced at Hinata, wordlessly asking him if he could do what Hinata wanted ask. Hinata nodded at Lev, giving him the go-ahead. 

“Ne, ne, Akaashi-san, if you don’t mind me asking, what's the name of your discord server?” Lev’s eyes were shining in anticipation. Akaashi showed them his phone screen. There, displayed innocently lay the discord server he and Noya created with Tendou a couple months ago in a fit of sleep deprivation, energy drinks and at least six hours of non-stop gaming. He grinned and smacked Noya-senpai on the shoulder. 

“Nishinoya! Look! Look at what Akaashi-san has!” Hinata was grinning so hard he was pretty sure he was going to sprain his cheeks. Akaashi made a questioning noise. To answer his unworded question Hinata, Lev, and Nishinoya pulled out their own phones and showed the same name on three different screens. 

In synchronised fashion with equally large shit eating grins they intoned, “ _Not straight but at least we play vball!”_

Akaashi blinked, before he turned red and buried his face in his hands. Across from them he saw Kenma slam his head down on the table. Hinata was confused until he understood. 

“No way Kenma! You too!?” The boy only nodded at the table,slidinng his phone toward him so Hinata could see the server name, Kuroo, who was sitting at his side was confused, he kept glancing from Kenma to Hinata to Akaashi. Bokuto was confused too, he kept trying to peek at Akaashi’s phone to see what was on the screen whining about wanting to see what the fuss was about. Nishinoya started to cackle and wheeze. 

“What are the odds!”, he screamed, laughing, clutching Hinata’s arm like a lifeline, “what are the odds that we’d know these people online!”

Lev was thinking about something, before his eyes widened, “Wait Kenma-san! You said on the serve that-!” He was cut off by Kenma’s sudden rise from where he was sitting. The boy, with a completely blank face said, “if you would excuse me, I will be launching myself from this earth into space.” 

Hinata grabbed his hand and guided Kenma to sit next to him. Turning puppy eyes at him and pleading with him to stay. Kenma begrudgingly agreed but put his head down and asked the universe how this was his life and if he could have a refund pretty please?

He entered the server and sent off a text before locking his phone and fending off question from his captain and Kageyama (who had finally shown up after taking a makeup test). 

* * *

amsunshine: you guys are fucking annoying assholes but i met @kodzuken and @pls chill irl so who’s the winner here huh

prettyplayboy: holy shit no way 

y(owo)kai: OWO??????

fuck you ur stuck w me: what the fuck

aliens!! are!! real!!: WHAT

* * *

amsunshine: ok but @kodzuken why’s your captain like that

kodzuken: i dont know either

no u: please help me yaks is killing me w receives

kodzuken: u deserve it dumb bitch 

no u: DDDD: 

no u: why cant yaks be like @THUNDER

kodzuken: im telling him that u said that

no u: snitch

THUNDER: yaks is a nice guy tho???????

no u: u dont kno him like i do

* * *

stfu: jonathan joestar would treat me RIGHT

prettyplayboy: im sorry but i’d let DIO raw me anyday

amsunshine: imagine being shima and having no taste 

prettyplayboy: DIO IS HOT OK

stfu: dio has jonathan’s body therfore you want jonathan’s body rawing you 

stfu: you want jonathan’s body rawing u congrats u have good taste now

kodzuken: go the FUCK to sleep 

no u: u cant fucking say anything hypocrite im right next to you and we are most certainly not asleep

no u: we’re not even in the dorms rn

kodzuken: shut the fuck UP

no u: no

no u: @amsunshine you bought brownies or weed? 

amsunsine: uh duh

no u: cool come up to the roof 

amsunshine: omw!

kodzuken: what

amsunshine: you’ll see

kodzuken: mom im scared

no u: you'll be fineeeee

no u: probably

kodzuken: thanks that helps with absolutely nothing

no u: always happy to help <3

* * *


	8. authentic russian wigs and heart eyes owls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> akaashi: *heart eyes @ bokuto*   
> kenma: *yeets akaashi @ bokuto* be happy bitch  
> and also   
> tendou: :(  
> literally everyone in the chat: ok so thats illegal we'll fight anything and everything, shit we'll even fight ourselves.  
> i just *clenches fist* love my son a lot ok  
> as always mom im sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who's who:  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u   
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me   
> Iwachan: stfu  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

kodzuken: what the FUCK was that

no u: im still trying to figure it out too

fuck you ur stuck w me: what yall do

kodzuken: cocaine

pls chill: WHAT

amsunshine: hES JOKING 

amsunshine: I SWEAR

kodzuken: no im not

amsunshine: I S W E A R H E S J O K I N G 

no u: we’re not doing hard drugs i swear

pls chill: better not 

fuck you ur stuck w me: that just left me w more questions

* * *

y(owo)kai: hmmmm, 

y(owo)kai: i think my bf is mad at me and its making feel Not Nice

amsunshine: dump his ass

amsunshine: ok so basically @nou @THUNDER we’re getting rid of miracle’s bf bc i dont like these vibes

amsunshine: hey dad @stfu look miracle is sad

stfu: ok so 

stfu: murder is always an option if ur bf is making u sad

no u: i will fight him

pls chill: can we,,,,,,, calm down,,,,

pls chill: miracle, why do you think ur bf is mad at u

y(owo)kai: we had an argument bc he thinks i smoke too much and he’s worried im getting aDdIcTeD to weed 

y(owo)kai: i'm not getting addicted to weed i swear

god has left me: that wasn an argument, u guys were full on fightin about it 

y(owo)kai: no we werent 

too pretty for this: u guys were screaming at each other

too pretty for this: i had to take goshi outside so he wouldn’t hear you two

y(owo)kai: ok maybe it as a really bad fight

amsunshine: wait maybe like, reassure him youre not getting addicted and lay off the smoking for a bit?

y(owo)kai: hmmm intresting

y(owo)kai: i will try that

no u: ill still fight him 

too pretty for this: i dont think u wann fight ushijima wakatoshi

amsunshine: FAHWFNQWWER WGHAT

no u: no fucking WAY

god has left me: semi you fucking fool

* * *

amsunshine: god ur so fucking pretty im jealous @plschill

no u: hes high im so sorry 

pls chill: oh 

pls chill: ty

no u: he’s right tho

kodzuken: u’re unfairly pretty and i get y boku is head over heels for u

pls chill: huh

amsunshine: SHHHH HES NOT SUPPOSED TO J+KNPW

no u: shhhhh dont tel him that boku likes him back

kodzuken: i know what the fuck im doing

kodzuken: he literally does hearteyes at that dumb owl and im SICK of it

kodzuken: PLEASE just cuff him already

no u: i want someone to make heart eyes at me like chill makes heart eyes at boku 

amsunshine: SAME

pls chill: pls stop

pls chill: boku-san doesnt like me like that

no u: DUDE YES HE DOES

amsunshine: im v stupid but even i can see that boku-senpai is head over heels for u,

amsunshine: if he makes a joke he checks if u laugh too

amsunshine: he always right next to you and he gets upset if someone sits next to you during lunch breaks 

kodzuken: and hes always staring at you when ur not looking

no u: during practice last night he told me u were really cute 

pls chill: wha

amsunshine: when was this????? where was i???????

no u: u were at the bathroom w chill 

amsunshine: ohhhh

stfu: what is this, help chill get himself a bf?

amsunshine: dad dont b jealous :(

stfu: lmao, no, im just wondering how tf the guy im in love w is so fucking DUMB

aliens!! are!! real!!: dont be mean!!!!! he’s trying his best im sure!!!!

stfu: ,,,,,,,

stfu: no no

stfu: hes fucking stupid

stfu: anyway @ chill, bag urself a bf 

pls chill: i will. Thank you

amsunshine: WJ RQW WFH WHAIT

no u: let us go w u!!!!!!

amsunshine: plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspslplsplsplsplspls

kodzuken: please i want to see this.

pls chill: fine, but make sure i cant see or hear you

kodzuken: ok @ lesba ur hiding w me bc u cant hide for shit

no u: :DDDD, 

no u: ok!!!

amsunshine: u wont even notice we’re there

* * *

pls chill: thank you @nou @kodzuken @amsunshine

pls chill boku-san says thank you as well

stfu: holy shit they actually managed to set someone up 

stfu: nice

no u: :DDDDD

kodzuken: lesba was crying 

no u: DDDDD: 

amsunshine: u gave him a tissue tho????? 

kodzuken: SHUT

* * *

amsunshine: the only reason i didn’t go to shiratorizawa academy is bc i would’ve been too powerful

amsunshine: god had to nerf me by making me short and giving me an inferiority complex with a touch of pothead. 

amsunshine: like,,, imagine me in purple flannel pants and a white blazer, 

amsunshine: the ENERGY and VIbes would be IMPECCABLE 

too pretty for this: as someone who GOES to shiratorizawa,,,,,,, ur now an honorary student of shiratorizawa 

god has left me: seconded

y(owo)kai: if i could i’d sneak u in

pls chill: sunshine, my bf want to adopt u and steal u away to our school dont make him fight powerhouse students PLEASE

amsunshine: please,,,,,, i just,,,, want,,,,, some height,,,,,,, 

amsunshine: just two or three inches,,,,,,,, please,,,,, i'm begging you,,,,

no u: also remember that one time w noya we ran from the cops and ended up near shiratorizawa and saw some Cute guys and Hots guys.

amsunshine: yes that too. 

pls chill: you ran from the WHAT

no u: oh shit! Scatter!

pls chill: i literally see you everyday 

amsunshine: so about the getaway plan to shiratorizawa

y(owo)kai: underway

y(owo)kai: we’ll find u a bf here

amsunshine: oh yes pls

THUNDER: YOU CANT DATE ANYONE

amsunshine: SENPAI PLEASE

THUNDER: NO

* * *

y(owo)kai: ok good news, me and ushiwaka are ok now, @amsunshine took your advice and it worked out

y(owo)kai: but now i'm screeching bc i love my bf very much

no u: y what happened

y(owo)kai: he hugged me w/o me hugging him first 

no u: the way i want something like this is embarrassing. 

amsunshine: WAIT sdffASODO

amsunshine: ur dating ushijima wakatoshi??????

y(owo)kai: yes?

amsunshine: OADNARCW IM SO SORRY

amsunshine: ASFSANVVR I BASICALLY TOLD HIM I’D WHOOP HIS ASS IN A MATCH DACBTFK:DF

y(owo)kai: asfiuwct he told me about you

amsunshine: lqncpo oh nooooo

y(owo)kai: he’s actually excited to play against u but then he said u needed to beat some other school first

amsunshine: oh yeah, fucking seij

amsunshine: WAIT HES EXCITED TO PLAY VERSUS ME WTF IM SCREECHInG

no u: oh my god that noise was you???

amsunshine: ,,,,,,yes,,,,

* * *

prettyplayboy:  Uh! 🤪What’s good🙈, Korea🇰🇷?

You know🧠 I've been a boss 🤑for my whole✔ career 👑🤷‍♀️I’m 'bout to Jet✈ in the Lear😌

i await the sweet release of death: it costs $0 to post that

prettyplayboy: it also costs $0 to post it

prettyplayboy:  I don’t even know🤔 why u girls👩🏾even bother 🚫 at this point👆🏾🥱like give it up😩it’s me💁🏾‍♀️😛I WIN 🏅U LOSE 😴HAHAHAHAHA 💋💅🏾✨

fuck you ur stuck w me: i will not hesitate to strangle you thru this screen

prettyplayboy: sold 🥰 my 😍 soul💖to😘Nicki😝Minaj🤩she 😱said👑yeah❤️and🥺i😁said 💞yeah🧼i🥴want😚to💝be💋a👄barb👀if👱🏽‍♀️you👋know🤞me💄well

stfu: this is cursed stop please

prettyplayboy: no >:)

* * *

amsunshine: say i if you’ve personally been victimized by the fucking tree that is @nou

amsunshine: i

THUNDER: i

kodzuken: i

amsunshine: kozu u cant fucking say anything u were right w lesba 

kodzuken: shut

no u: im sorry!!! I forgot u were w me!!!

god has left me: im almost afraid to ask but, what happened?

amsunshine: we combined our collective brain cells and went to go buy snacks for lunch break right. 

amsunshine: so we go the four of us and we bought everything and we’re walking and fucking @nou and @kodzuken suddenly fucking HAUL ASS to some tree bc they saw a cat and they needed to get it down. 

amsunshine: so this fucking asshole @nou just REACHES up and gets the cat. And gives it to kozu 

amsunshine: WHY do you feel the need to flex your height on us vertically challenged people

THUNDER: im telling yaks u’ve been slacking on ur receiving training. 

no u: DDDDD:

* * *

aliens!! are!! real!!: my not-boyfriend boyfriend has asked me out on a date!! (^ 3 ^) iwachan is so cute!!!!

stfu: hurry the fuck up loser im outside ur house

stfu: WAIT FUCK

amsunshine: WAIT AHAHH

aliens!! are!! real!!: huh

aliens!! are!! real!!: wait a fucking second

aliens!! are!! real!!: iwachan??????

stfu: yes its me fucking shit just come outside im here already

amsunshine: AOWERWQ WAIT WAIT MY WIG MY WIGGGGGGG

amsunshine: @nou @THUNDER QUICk COME LOOK AT THIS

THUNDER: what

THUNDER: oh 

THUNDER: AFHAFAW THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING OFAGOJA

no u: WAIT WAIT MY AUTHENTIC RUSSIAN WIG ITS ONH+ THE FOurND PLEASE

no u: PLEASE PLEASE MY RUSSIAN GRANDMOTHERS WIG 

THUNDER: THIS BOY SAID RUSSIAN GRANDMTHERS WG IM FUCKING SCREECHIG PLEASE 

aliens!! are!! real!!: ur in love w me????

aliens!! are!! real!!: awww iwachan!!!! Ur so sweet ( * 3 *)~

stfu: like ur not head over heels for me either shit head

aliens!! are!! real!!: SHUT

amsunshine: MY DUDE HAJ REALLY SAID REVERSE CARD BITCH

no u: ICONIC BEHAVIOR

THUNDER: WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO STAN

* * *


	9. noodle limbs and cats and simping, what fun!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hina is a simp for cute volleyball boys   
> semi and hina got together and they have stalkers on their dates lmao  
> anyways mom im sorry
> 
> tendou @ semi: hurt him and i cut ur dick off bitch  
> semi: yes sir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is longer than usual (i think), and its kinda late im sorry   
> anyway, idk if you guys want me to keep putting the list of who's who, pls tell me if u want it or not. for now, here's who's who:   
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u   
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me   
> Iwachan: stfu  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this

_**not straight but at least we can play vball** _

amsunshine: im saying this once and ONLY once

amsunshine: the only men i will ever simp for are the miya twins from inarizaki and the guy that used to be setter for shiratorizawa the #3 dude and #12 from shiratorizawa

no u: and @plschill

amsunshine: well yeah but simping for akaa is a given, who WOULDN’T simp for him 

y(owo)kai: OWO?????

god has left me: why not the new setter? #10?

amsushine: he looks like he won't give me the time of day :(

god has left me: and 3 does????

no u: liar u said ur a simp for the entire shiratorizawa team

amsunshine: no i cant simp for miracle or ushijima

no u: lmao loser

amsunshine: SHUT

amsunshine: k fine i simp for almost everyone on any given volleyball team ive played against

no u: u played against shiratorizawa?????

amsunshine: not yet

THUNDER: why are you so HORNY

amsunshine: LISTEN

amsunshine: i see a hot volleyball boy, i simp

amsunshine: WAIT

amsunshine: @y(owo)kai u go to shiratorizawa right, r u on the vball team?

y(owo)kai: yes n yes

no u: AFOJQWGQWF YOUVE BEEN CAUGHT SIMPING

amsunshine: FUC K

no u: wait y not ushijima or miracle

THUNDER: ushijima n miracle r dating

no u: ohhh 

* * *

amsunshine: anyway im lonely so who wanna take me out on a date

no u: felt

prettyplayboy: ;)))))

amsunshine: ,,,,,

amsunshine: so anyone aside from shima wanna take me on a date

prettyplayboy: damn :( whats wrong w my dates

amsunshine: ur idea of dates is hotboxing ur mom’s car and falling asleep after two rounds of medicore sex

no u: FDKGHSDVNSVR @THUNDER @kodzuken 

kodzuken: hello? 911? i just witnessed a fucking MURDER

too pretty for this: that was fucking coldblooded

amsunshine: sigh 

god has left me: semi thinking about something hes gonna do something 

too pretty for this: im not going to do anything bad

god has left me: last time u had that face we ended in a dumpster without our shirts on calling out to cats at like 4 in the morning

* * *

**_private chat between you and too pretty for this_ **

**too pretty for this:** fuck it

**too pretty for this:** let's go on a date

**you** : asdflkfa are you sure?? 

**too pretty for this:** yeah

* * *

**_dream team full of gays_ **

amsunshine: GAYS ASSEMBLE THIS IS AN EMERGENCY 

no u: oh my god ur pregnant

amsunshine: no

kodzuken: you found a rich old man and u’ve secured the bag for all of us

amsunshine: god i wish

THUNDER: u got a date w someone hot nd ur freaking out

amsunshine: NOT JUST ANYONE HOT

amsunshine: TENDOUS FRIEND WHICH FROM WHAT HE WAS TOLD ME HE IS V V HOT

no u: WOEFHWGQWB WHAT 

no u: WHICH ONE

amsunshine: SOAFQW FUCKING @/ too pretty for this

kodzuken: get ittttt

THUNDER: be a proper blushing maiden and tease the FUcK outta him

amsunshine: is that what ur doing w asahi-senpai

THUNDER: SHUT

amsunshine: WAIT WHAT DO I SAY DO I GO W HIM OR WHT

kodzuken: ok say yes,,, but get this

kodzuken: we go too, but incognito

no u: ohhh so uf he turns out to be a creep we can make him disappear?

kodzuken: yes

amsunshine: flhwgrewrg ok

* * *

**_private chat between you and too pretty for this_ **

**you:** ok yeah, lets go on a date

**too pretty for this:** there’s this one cat café thats in tokyo, the coffee is really good and they give you free refills if you bring your own cup

**too pretty for this:** we can go there

**you:** sure! it sounds fun :DD

* * *

**_dream team full of gays_ **

amsunshine: CAT CAFÉ DATE BOYS I THINK HE'S THE ONE

no u: NEED ME A MAN LIKE THAT

kodzuken: oooh thats good, we can watch u and get caffeine AND play w cats at the same time, its a win all around

amsunshine: :DDDD

no u: and if he turns out to be the one we can happily say we watched the love bloom firsthand at ur wedding

THUNDER: im going to need a color palette of u both and the mood for the ceremony and the after party,

THUNDER: omg i can finally start working on the fucking wedding portfolio. :DDDD

* * *

**_private chat between you and too pretty for this_ **

**you:** so when should we go? like when are we both free?

**too pretty for this:** i'm free this thursday after practice and saturday all day

**you:** let's go this saturday, yeah?

**too pretty for this:** yeah ill meet you in this one park near the coffee shop

**too pretty for this:** *location sent* 

**you:** :DDD

* * *

**_dream team full of gays_ **

amsunshine: guess who just got a date

kodzuken: fhogr iconic

amsunshine: this aso reminds me that i need a photo of this dude 

amsunshine: brb

* * *

**_private chat between y(owo)kai and you_ **

**you:** tendouuuuuuuuu-saaaaaaaann

**y(owo)kai:** shouyouuuuuuuuuuuu-chaaaaaaaaaaan

**y(owo)kai:** i told you it's okay to call me satori, we’re friends 

**you:** i dnt think you understand how much i cant do that

**y(owo)kai:** coward 

**you:** D:<

**y(owo)kai:** >:D

**y(owo)kai:** anyway whats up

**you:** ok so you know how i said i wanted someone to take me on a date 

**y(owo)kai:** yes?

**you:** ok so semi asked me out and now im lowkey panicking bc idk how he looks like

**y(owo)kai:** OWO???????? Really????

**you:** wait is that ok? Me going out on a date w ur friend?

**y(owo)kai:** yeah??? Why wouldn't it be?

**you:** idk

**y(owo)kai:** wellll, i mean its kinda weird bc its like,,,,, ur little brother is going out on a date w ur friend

**you:** u considered me ur little brother??? flkawfoiw IM SOFT

**y(owo)kai:** uwu 

**y(owo)kai** : hmm 

**y(owo)kai:** ill brb i just remembered i need to do something 

**you:** i am: suspicious

**y(owo)kai:** :)

* * *

**_shira thrd yr cht (only the cool ones) >:)_ **

y(owo)kai: semi eita you fucking fuck what do you have up ur sleeve

too pretty for this: ?????

god has left me: oh god what did u do

y(owo)kai: u asked out sunshine 

y(owo)kai: what the fuck do you think ur doing

too pretty for this: uh taking him out on a date and hopefully a lot more? 

god has left me: holy shit 

god has left me: what is this

god has left me: THE semi eita having a possible crush??? a crush??????

y(owo)kai: u havent seen him irl?? He’s two yrs younger than u???? We’re gonna play against him probably??? and most likely win????

god has left me: shut up bitch its love

too pretty for this: do you not want me to date him or?

y(owo)kai: hes one of the few people that doesnt mind me when i get into my moods, so forgive me if i’m a bit protective over a younger brother figure

too pretty for this: tendou, i swear i'm not gonna play w his feelings

y(owo)kai: u better fucking not

* * *

**_private chat between you and y(owo)kai_ **

**y(owo)kai:** wait i forgot u dont know what he looks like lmao

**y(owo)kai:** *image sent*

**you:** :0

**y(owo)kai:** i hope u know i'm following you guys on ur date uwu

**you:** adlfkjhqf so are my other friends

* * *

**_dream team full of gays_ **

amsunshine: *image sent* 

amsunshine: ITS FUCKING #3 FROM SHIRATORIZAWA FHWGRHQ

amsunshine: YOUR FUCKING AVS COULD ENEVER

no u: ASVNGIHE 

no u: IM BOUTTA ACT THE FUCK UP

kodzuken: what a time to be alive and gay

THUNDER: now this is what the cool kids call art

THUNDER: if i wasnt in a steady relationship rn i’d be SIMPING

kodzuken: not that i don’t appreciate the eye candy, but hiw’d u get that pic

amsunshine: so so so (@/ too pretty for this) is tendous friend irl right, so i told tendou abt the date and he was like oh for sure, and he blessed me w this

no u: so ur really just out here

no u: living your best life huh

no u: getting to go out on a date w the gy u think is cute

amsunshine: ( ^ w ^ )/*

* * *

**_dream team full of gays_ **

THUNDER: well guys i’d say the first date was a success

amsunshine: i saw you guys hiding behind one (1) newspaper

amsunshine: all of you

kozuken: in my defense 

kodzuken: there were cats

amsunshine: you dressed lev up a russian grandmother

no u: i make a convincing grandmother thanks

amsunshine: i wasnt aware russian grandmothers had japanese features and were six fucking feet tall w noodle limbs

THUNDER: hello 911 yes i just witnessed a fucking murder

no u: im yeeting you from this planet

amsunshine: do it coward

amsunshine: on happier news, i have a second date w semi so i'm winning here

THUNDER: we’re following you again

THUNDER: hope u kno that :)

amsunshine: sigh

amsunshine: anyway u guys up for shopping for more piercing? my dad gave me money 

THUNDER: ooooh sign me up

kodzuken: i have an Idea

no u: lets get ice cream after pls

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: u fake bitch @tooprettyforthis

too pretty for this: whoops

pls chill: what happened

amsunshine: SOMEONE told the waiter i was 12 bc it was cheaper than paying full price

no u: DSAFHWERGRH 

no u: is that why you look pissed

too pretty for this: wait what

THUNDER: S C A T T E R 

y(owo)kai: the food on their kids meal is good tho????

y(owo)kai: ive had it before and its lowkey better than what on the regular 

fuck you ur stuck w me: whats going onn

i await the sweet release of death: ??

fuck you ur stuck w me: omg omg

fuck you ur stuck w me: yallre on a DATE

THUNDER: holy shit ur more hillbilly than us

fuck you ur stuck w me: leave my accent alone

too pretty for this: im still stuck on how @nou knows how shou looks like rn

y(owo)kai: easy

y(owo)kai: we’ve been following you on all ur dates

amsushine: wait u too

too pretty for this: fhqrec what the fuc k

THUNDER: the cat café was a nice date

kodzuken: i liked it a lot it was a v smart move kudos to u

god has left me: damnnn they dont trust u semi

y(owo)kai: ur a SCOUNDREL @tooprettyforthis 

y(owo)kai: and shou is an innocent angel who u doesn't deserve >:(

prettyplayboy: hes a pothead and he fucks like a porntstar 

prettyplayboy: how is he an innocent angel

amsunshine: SHUT 

too pretty for this: ,,,ok 

too pretty for this: well anyway @amsunshine ur chicken nuggets are here

amsunshine: NICE

THUNDER: where r u i cant see u

no u: we’re in the restroom

kodzuken: we’re hotboxing the restroom >:)

amsunshine: we are NOT hotboxing the restroom lev had to pee and he didnt want to go alone

kodzuken: bc hes a scary bitch boy

no u: no im NOT >:(

amsushine: anyway im going to eat my chimnken nuggents 

kodzuken: oooh save me some

amsunshine: no

* * *

amsunshine: HELP ASHITWET IM CANT STOP IM FUJG DSCREECHING WFO

no u: what happened

amsunshine: *image sent* 

kodzuken: oh my god is that you w a bowl cut

kodzuken: wait r u trans?

amsunshine: ASDFWF NO THAT'S MY LITTLE SISTER

amsunshine: but i am non binary uwu 

amsunshine: he/they pls

no u: iconic

kodzuken: wait i felt that 

kodzuken: non binary gang unite uwu

too pretty for this: why does she have a bowl cut

y(owo)kai: OWO

y(owo)kai: shes taking after me ùwú

god has left me: why she look like an apple

fuck you ur stuck w me: o’hare looking ass 

amsunshine: ASDLJWEFOUR A S TO P

amsunshine: my dad tried to cut her hair but she kept moving to try and see how short it was and it came out fucked up

god has left me: damn pray for your dads barber skills

aliens!! are!! real!!: i think she looks cute ( ^ 3 ^)/ \\( > * <)/

stfu: shut up babe no one asked u

aliens!! are!! real!!: ur so mean to me (T~T)

* * *

god has left me: yk how some ya novels have the bad guy as an absolute babe w no morals and the mc is like,,, in lOvE with some basic 17 yr guy w blue eyes and kinda an asshole??? And the bad guy is like,, “ill give you my heart and promise to love you forever if you agree to be my queen so that we may rule forever in eternal glorious darkness” and the girl is like NOOOO thIS BaSiC WHitE BoY is my OnE anD onLy 

god has left me: like,,,,bitch

god has left me: shut the fuck up and sit down i’ll b the fucking queen that guy is HOT

god has left me: anyways thanks for coming to my TEDtalk

too pretty for this: its 4:36am go to SLEEP

amsunshine: WHY do you have you screen brightness at full capacity don’t do your eyes like that 

god has left me: oh yeah he’s just a fucking werido like that

god has left me: wait

god has left me: pause the fucking music

god has left me: how the FUCK do you know that

amsunshine: im??? right?? next to him????

amsunshine: btw i demand more blanket u damn hogger

too pretty for this: you literally dont need that much blanket ur tiny

amsunshine: uhm,,,,,, just for that i WILL be stealing all of your sweaters and this damn blanket thanks

god has left me: im still kinda hung up abt how yall in the same bed pls explain

y(owo)kai: watch out bitch @tooprettyforthis im coming over

amsunshine: good, distract him while i steal all his sweaters

y(owo)kai: imow!!!

too pretty for this: leave my sweaters alone u damn menace 

amsunshine: no >:)

* * *

amsunshine: how does kill their bitchass setter w/o actually killing him

amsunshine: asking for a friend

y(owo)kai: kill him

amsunshine: no i need him to set for me

god has left me: dont you have two setters? ask the other one to set for you

amsunshine: the other one doesn't set quick enough

god has left me: wtf wdym

kodzuken: oh that

no u: ur iconic fucking quick 

kodzuken: its v annoying to play against

no u: i blocked it once :DDDDD

amsunshine: yeah w the powers of ur fucking unfairly long arms 

no u: :DDDDDD

god has left me: wdym the other one doesn't set quick enough?

amsunshine: ok so i have this one fucking quick i can do where i just fucking ZOOM and hit the ball where the blockers cant reach me

amsunshine: but its like,, one tempo quicker than first tempo and its v fun to do against other teams

aliens!! are!! real!!: this,,,, sounds,,,,, familiar,,,,,

aliens!! are!! real!!: i dont like it @stfu come quick

stfu: what

stfu: oh

kodzuken: i have a video i took of u and ur setter practicing the quick

kodzuken: want me to post it here? @amsunshine

amsunshine: uh,,, yah sure

kodzuken: ok

kodzuken: *video attagement sent* 

aliens!! are!! real!!: SDFFIHRGR WHAT THE FUC K

aliens!! are!! real!!: ERGOHGWRG YOOOOOO

too pretty for this: holy shit thats awesome

too pretty for this: i wanna do that

god has left me: we cant its not how we play n u kno that 

too pretty for this: sigh

aliens!! are!! real!!: ERGOG HOLY SHIT CHIBI-CHAN?????

stfu: oh my god why do you still call him that

aliens!! are!! real!!: he’s tiny!!!!!!!

amsunshine: >:((((((

amsunshine: i don't even kno ur name or who u are and ur attacking my height??? 

amsunshine: unacceptable 

aliens!! are!! real!!: chibi-chan how can u forget me???

aliens!! are!! real!!: the person u lost to last time?? i think i crushed your hopes and dreams and whatnot??

stfu: and then u whine abt how mean i am

amsunshine: oh my god u fucking asshole

amsunshine: did u show tobio how to be an asshole too 

amsunshine: sat him down and went :how to be an asshole 101: the basics” 

aliens!! are!! real!!: :0000 

aliens!! are!! real!!: no he’s just like that

amsunshine: anyway nxt time we play against each other we’re winning i hope u know that

aliens!! are!! real!!: lmao sure

kodzuken: u fucking better win we have to play @ nationals 

no u: but then u have to play shira before that remember

no u: n ur terrified of ushiwaka right?

amsunshine: SHUT

* * *

i await the sweet release of death: when in doubt

I await the sweet release of death: eat onigiri

god has left me: when in doubt

god has left me: scream into the void and ask god why he has turned his back on you

i await the sweet release of death: damn u good 

god has left me: no

i await the sweet release of death: felt

amsunshine: when in doubt

amsunshine: wear ur bf's sweaters and cry abt the fact that ur never gonna be good enough if u dont have that one setter setting to u 

too pretty for this: babe,,,, want me to go over there?

amsunshine: u can't :( 

amsushine: we're still in the training camp it extended for another week 

amsunshine: ty tho

amsunshine: i miss u

too pretty for this: me too

kodzuken: come up to the roof me n lev r here

amsunshine: ok

too pretty for this: thanks @kodzuken

kodzuken: yea

no u: god im so fucking single

no u: why cant i have something like semi and shou have, @ god?

i await the sweet release of death: felt

* * *


	10. surprise! new kids and more fun stuff ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today, I Will Cause Problems On Purpose. 
> 
> (mom, i'm sorry)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u   
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me   
> Iwachan: stfu  
> kuguri: vibing  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this   
> sakusa: Ur filth

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

kodzuken: did u do cocaine in the morning or something @amsunshine

amsunshine: absolutely not!!! 

no u: liar we did some lines in the restroom like two hours ago

amsunshine: i will not hesitate to tell yaks u’ve been skipping out on night practice to hide away in the roof w kozu instead of SleEpiNg

no u: you wouldnt fucking dare

amsunshine: i got his number bitch

kodzuken: the stars are pretty ok

amsunshine: im sure they are, except they're not the only pretty thing up there huh

kodzuken: ill roundhouse kick u rn 

amsunshine: do it coward

THUNDER: i'll tell dadchi u have a bf and u’ve slept in his bed already

amsunshine: tell him that and i'm telling him where ur hickies r from

stfu: why is there so much hostility here today

too pretty for this: dw haj

too pretty for this: thats just how they are

y(owo)kai: they’re pretty tame today

y(owo)kai: usually we start fighting after the second response

y(owo)kai: @THUNDER i still have the scar from when u bit me u savage

THUNDER: good

THUNDER: it should serve as a lesson

too pretty for this: u guys’ energy is chaotic and the vibes are impeccable

amsunshine: babe u climbed onto a table and slammed onto sa-chan american wwe style

amsunshine: u’re just as bad as us

too pretty for this: shhhh

* * *

god has left me: is 5’9” tall 

god has left me: trying to prove a point

god has left me: u know what 

god has left me: im video calling u guys

god has left me: turn ur cameras on u assholes 

**_god has left me is requesting a group video call.._ **

**_call request accepted…_ **

“Oh my God, go to SLEEP.” Kenma snarled at his phone. Lev let out a snicker from where he was sprawled near the edge of the roof, mouthing “hypocrite” and sending him a silly grin. Kenma made a face at him, firmly ignoring the quickening of his heart. 

“I’ll shove you off the edge.” He grumbled quietly. Lev snorted, rolling closer to where he sat to peek at his phone where he could see the chat’s occupants’ faces. His mouth parted into a little ‘o’ and he grinned as he waved at Shouyou who sat behind his boyfriend. 

Shouyou brightened and pushed his boyfriend out of the frame to get closer to the camera. Kenma felt a looming dread, and he was rewarded with his paranoia when Shouyou opened his mouth. “So Kenma, how do the stars look tonight? Or is there another view you wanted to see?” 

Kenma didn't say anything, just slowly brought his middle finger up to the camera with a deadpan look. Lev, the traitor, immediately slapped it away. He sighed. 

“Can’t have  _ shit _ in Detroit.” He grumbled

Lev blinked at him, “We’re in Japan?” 

He sighed again.  _ What a fucking himbo.  _

Someone whined. “You guys pay attention to me! I’m going through a crisis!” Oh, it was Shirabu, of course. 

Shouyou was moved to the side where he squawked until Semi came back into the frame and pulled Shouyou onto his lap and wrapped his arms around him and put his chin on Shouyou’s shoulder. Kenma determinedly didn’t think about how nice it would be to be held like that. Determinedly didn’t think about how the person would have sleek silver hair instead of a dark bedhead. 

Hm, guilt didn’t feel good. 

Time to focus on the screen instead of his thoughts. Head empty, no thoughts should be the mood for tonight, please and thank you. Thankfully, Shouyou’s boyfriend interrupted his no good, nasty thoughts, another brownie point for the books. 

“Shirabu, just give up, 5’9” is average height, not tall.” Wait, what? Okay no, scratch that, Shouyou’s boyfriend is a scoundrel who doesn’t deserve rights. 

“5’9” is not average height, it is above average. The average height is 5’6”, which I am”, he saw Lev open his mouth and before he could say anything, Kenma pushed his face away, “Lev, you can’t speak on this matter you’re too tall for this.” 

Shouyou nodded frantically. Absentmindedly his hand went up to tug at his boyfriend’s hair and Kenma watched in fascination as Semi’s eyes drooped and he seemed to slump, resting his head completely on Shouyou’s shoulder. Kenma felt Lev’s face near his neck and when he turned to look at him, he regretted his decision  _ immensely.  _ Lev’s skin was clear and he could make out tiny tiny little freckles on the apples of his cheeks. 

_ Oh, oh no.  _

Of course,  _ of course _ , he’d realize Lev was unfairly pretty now. Now, that they're all alone in the dark on top of the roof, under the night sky. He’d started to scream in his head when he entered junior high, but the screaming seemed to have another purpose, and that purpose was to point out how much closer Lev was to his type of guy than Kuroo. 

Well fuck. 

Thankfully, Shirabu unknowingly came to his rescue. “If you guys can stop being so fucking lovey-dovey over there, that’d be great, anyway as Kenma-, was it you Kenma? Anyway, if Kenma is at average height at 5’6” that means I stand three inches taller than average height. Which means that I AM tall, therefore meaning that 5’9” is tall, so you can fucking eat my fucking dust, Semi.” Shirabu finished his rant with a huff and a satisfied nod. 

Cackling laughter came from somewhere and Kenma jumped, accidentally making Lev snap close his mouth and making him bite his own tongue. Lev whined at him, “Kenmaaaaa, that's mean!”

Kenma called him a whiny bitch and picked up his phone from where he had dropped it. He saw Tendou’s face squished in with Shirabu, so he took a wild guess and assumed that’s what was the cackle. Tendou was saying something about how short people didn’t really have a place to say what was tall and what wasn’t and Semi’s arms were now restraining Shouyou from getting up from his lap and storming into Shirbu’s room to fight Tendou. 

He spoke up, clearly amused, “Tendou, I hope you realize that if Nishinoya was here right now, he would not hesitate to yeet himself over to Shiratorizawa and hand you your ass on a silver plate.” 

Tendou snorted, “Good thing, Nishinoya isn’t here then, huh?” 

Shouyou made a face at the camera, probably aiming it at Tendou, “Bold of you to assume I’m not immediately telling Noya-senpai what you said the moment I get back.” 

“Let’s do it, baby, I know the law.” 

Shirabu snickered, immediately discrediting Tendou, “No you do fucking not, you’re currently failing our goverment class, genius.”

“Calling me a genius and then spreading absolute LIES about me has no effect, jealousy is a lie, Shirabu, get well soon.” Tendou sniffed at him. Shirabu didn’t even grace him with a verbal response, just punched him in the shoulder. 

The rest of the call was spent in general chaos. And Kenma Definitely Didn’t Think About how Lev was falling asleep with his head on Kenma’s thigh and how much he wanted to run his finger through his hair and braid his hair and how  _ warm _ it felt. Absolutely Not.

Oh look at that, Shouyou escaped from Semi’s hold and is now in Shirabu’s room and he’s fighting with Tendou. Nice.

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

_ new members have been added! _

y(owo)kai: G A S P 

y(owo)kai: new people!

y(owo)kai: welcome!!!!

THUNDER: hi welc to the server 

amsunshine: hi!! Welcome to the server as you can tell we’re most definitely not straight but we do like to play volleyball. We don’t tolerate hate from anyone and if we see that you’re just here to cause trouble you’ll be blacklisted from any server and site uwu. 

amsunshine: anyway we have nicknames but lately we’ve just been using our real names?? Idk we found out who's who and that was v fun and sometimes we hang out w each other, its totally ok if u dont want to share your name here bc like anonymity n all is important for some people and we respect that

amsunshine: anyway! I'm sunshine, or shou >:)

THUNDER: its so funny to see you revert to admin mode when in reality ur fucking buckshit wild lmao

THUNDER: im noya!

vibing: im kugu, nice to meet you. 

Ur filth: My name is Kyoomi. It is a pleasure to meet you. 

prettyplayboy: im shima ;)

i await the sweet release of death: sweet, new people, 

i await the sweet release of death: im samu and this shithead @fuckyouurstuckwme is tsumu, my twin brother

fuck you ur stuck w me: yo

amsunshine: you’ll meet everyone else in a bit i dont think they’re online rn, but anyway welc again and have some fun

THUNDER: please be prepared for some truly wild shit bc ur in for a ride w us lmao

* * *

amsunshine: GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO YET ANOTHER EPISODE OF SHOU EXPOSES HIS ESENAI WITH YOUR HOST ME< SHU THE LITERLT INCARNATE OF SUNSHINE

THUNDER: NO STOP U DIDNT SEE ANYTHING

vibing: whats going on

vibing: mom im scared

pls chill: this is a regular occurance please stand by 

vibing: this is regular??

ps chill: yes, unfortunately

too pretty for this: it was horrible, truly traumatising i want the life i had before i saw that

pls chill: oh my god what happened

amsunshine: i went to the baths right bc it was the first yr’s turn and i was on the phone w semi right, and so i have him facing me and then i shift the camera to face the restroom bc im thinking no one is in there and it should be safe for me to do so 

amsunshine: WRO N G 

amsunshine: I HAD TO SEE SENPAI AnD HIS BOYFRIEND NEARLY DOING THE DIRTY IN THE PLACE OF RELAXATION AND I AM SC A RR ED 

THUNDER: STOP IM SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Ur filth: So you’re telling me that you guys are just fucking in a place that's supposed to be used for cleaning oneself? Disgusting. I have to kinkshame.

amsunshine: EXACTLYYYYYYYY WHY SENPAIIIII WHYYYYYYYYY

amsunshine: MY INNOCENT VIRGIN EYES HAVE BEEN SCA R R ED 

prettyplayboy: yes, we all know how innocent shou is 

too pretty for this: he's a blushing maiden damnit

kodzuken: shou doesnt know what the fuck a naked male body looks like and you’ve scarred him like this? instant death for you, sir, for shame

amsunshine: YEAH

amsunshine: wait brb i smell weed somewhere

no u: aw fuck

no u: well anyway come up to the roof

amsunshine: wait i fell like forgot something

amsunshine: 

amsunshine: O FUC MY WEED PL AN T

kodzuken: WHAT 

amsunshine: i forgot to water my weed plant before i left and now its probably dead smh

amsunshine: and i cant tell my dad to water it bc he’s gonna tear it up and idk where my mom is @ bc she usually waters it bc she genuinely doesn give a fuck lmao. so like rip my stash for now i think

no u: well anyway come up to the roof coward we got a bonfire up here

amsunshine: oooh fun iomw

kodzuken: im still kinda hung up abt ho shou got a whole weed plant in his garden

vibing: wait you guys smoke?

too pretty for this: some of us do, others don’t 

Ur filth: do you guys share the same blunt or 

too pretty for this: not usually, we each have our own, but if we’re desperate and everyone already finished their stash we do, except i don’t like sharing bc then we fight abt how big a hit we take

too pretty for this: also its kinda nasty no?

Ur filth: ah

Ur filth: finally people of culture and cleanness

* * *

amsunshine: oh shit i forgot kenma and lev both got piercings w me lmao

kodzuken: that's why i have long hair dummy 

kodzuken: my captain would lose his shit if he found out i had a piercing 

no u: lol i think mine closed 

kodzuken: stupid

no u: wait i want a tongue piercing

amsunshine: absolutely not

no u: DDDD:

no u: y 

amsunshine: it hurt 

too pretty for this: baby

amsunshine: uwu

too pretty for this: no im insulting u, ur a baby for thinking tongue piercing hurt, 

too pretty for this: they don’t hurt if ur not a coward

amsunshine: >:0

too pretty for this: @nou if u really wanna get a tongue piercing we can go this saturday to this tattoo shop near shou’s house

no u: oh taichi-san's shop?

too pretty for this: how do u know his name wtf

amsunshine: :D

amsunshine: funny story, uh he’s my dad’s half brother who my dad doesn’t like talking abt bc he’s a tattoo artist and he does piercings lmao

amsunshine: so of course, he’s my favorite (half) uncle

too pretty for this: o h 

amsunshine: mostly me n lev just go to mooch off his food and watch people cry when they get piercings n tattoo's 

amsunshine: there’s this one guy that wanted his stuff pierced and when taichi-oji went into the room the guy started to scream like ten minutes later. 

no u: i think i still have a video

amsunshine: oh my go d se n d i t

no u: on it

no u: *video attagement sent* [ _ a shaky camera pointed to Lev and Shouyou’s feet, snickering and barely contained wheezing is heard as a man is yelling and screaming in pain, the camera flashes up to catch Shouyou’s face, tears of mirth are streaming down his red face and he covers his mouth with the sleeves of his sweater. The camera changes and Lev’s face is shown, mouth covered and going red with the force of trying not to laugh, the man is still screaming. _ ]

no u: i think i peed myself a little when he came out of the room all composed like we didn’t hear him crying and screaming lmao

too pretty for this: oh my god

y(owo)kai: OWO???? That looks fun

amsunshine: taichi-oji is very fun to visit uwu

kodzuken: when was this????

no u: u left to get food from that little shop three blocks down remember

kodzuken: smh fake friends i wanted to see him 

* * *

prettyplayboy: oh my god i just realized

vibing: what

prettyplayboy: u never stop breathing

vibing: 

vibing: choke on a dick and die

fuck you ur stuck w me: youre a fucking son of a bitch whyyyyyyy

fuck you ur stuck w me: @iawaitthesweetreleaseofdeath

i await the sweet release of death: you fucking rat bastard

prettyplayboy: >:)

* * *

kodzuken: guess who’s stupid dummy no brains has a mild consussion

pls chill: oh my god 

stfu: wha

stfu: at this point i'm scared to ask

kodzuken: in my defense, i warned him

amsunshine: dude, he SMILED at you

kodzuken: SHUT

stfu: dare i ask

stfu: what happened

god has left me: oh shit someone died

kodzuken: no i just pushed lev off the roof and all he has to show for that is a mild concussion.

god has left me: FIHRGR WHAT

god has left me: WHAT WAS THE REASON

pls chill: PLEASE refrain from harming your teammates i cannot stress this ENOUGH

kodzuken: literally no one told him To Look Like That, tho

pls chill: that doesnt mean you have to try and kill him tho?????

kodzuken: no mom u dont understand i HAD to

pls chill: i didnt raise u like this is is ur fault haj

stfu: WHAT

stfu: this is not my fault, ur always sayng how murder isnt an option therefore not allowing the kids to express themselves correctly

pls chill: MURDER IS NEVER AN OPTION HAJ

stfu: YES THE FUCK IT IS

pls chill: IM SICK OF YOUR SHIT I WANt A DIVORCE

stfu: FINE BUT I'M TAKING THE KIDS

pls chill: DONT YOU DARE TRY TO TAKE MY CHILDREN YOU BASTARD

kodzuken: uhm

amsunshine: maybe we should take monopoly away

no u: i wanna go w mom

amsunshine: SHHHHH

* * *

amsunshine: @tooprettyforthis babe i need u to break my nose

too pretty for this: wha

too pretty for this: why????

amsunshine: nose ichi

too pretty for this: oh my god babe just scratch it

amsunshine: oh

amsunshine: i forgot u can do that lol

pls chill: not to freak you out but he might have a concussion

too pretty for this: oh my god why

no u: we ran into a wall :DDDDDDDD

pls chill: they thought for some reason they could run past the wall bc it had thinner walls than most walls @ the training camp

god has left me: oh yeah we’ve done that before

y(owo)kai: ahhhhh good times

amsunshine: lev we have to try again when they cant see us @nou

no u: ur right 

no u: do u think kenma will let us

amsunshine: yeah just ask him nicely

no u: ok!!!!!

pls chill: if u tell them yes i stg im taking away ur video games @kodzuken

kodzuken: ok

* * *

pls chill: hand over ur video games

kodzuken: FUCK

* * *

god has left me: @y(owo)kai what the fuck did i just see

y(owo)kai: nothing

god has left me: uhuh and if i ask him whats going on will he tell me

y(owo)kai: hes not gonna tell you anything bc there’s nothing going on

god has left me: fucking liar whats going on

y(owo)kai: NOTHING

fuck you ur stuck w me: is this??? drama????

amsunshine: wait 

amsunshine: waIT

amsunshine: no fucking way u actually did it

y(owo)kai: i didnt do anything 

amsunshine: shirabu send a picture of their necks

god has left me: on it

amsunshine: if any of them are wearing turtle necks they might as well just say it

y(owo)kai: traitors the lot of you

* * *

prettyplayboy: i will become tiktok famous if it's the last thing i do

THUNDER: the last thing youre gonna be seeing is my spray painted hot pink hello kitty baseball bat swinging towards your head

amsunshine: lmao imagine not having a tiktok famous bf could never

too pretty for this: oh my god babe dont out me like this 

too pretty for this: what have i done to you for me to be treated like this

amsunshine: semi eita u literally cant say shit everytime we go out to eat in a restaurant u always, always say im like 12 so u dont have to pay full price

too pretty for this: u steal all my sweaters and hoodies????

amsunshine: you literally don't need 36 hoodies????

too pretty for this: you dont either????

amsunshine: shut up this isnt abt me rn

prettyplayboy: wait wait wait,

prettyplayboy: how many followers do u have wtf

amsunshine: he currently has abt 555.6k followers

prettyplayboy: WHA T

too pretty for this: i used to do thirst traps until i started dating shou 

too pretty for this: now i mostly just use it to show off my skating skillz

amsunshine: sometimes when i'm bored i like to post one of his thirst traps with me voicing over basically taunting all the thirsty girls in his dm’s trying to date him that he’s my bf uwu

too pretty for this: oh those are my favorites

prettyplayboy: just yall fucking wait im boutta climb those numbers

too pretty for this: if you do that we will have a Rivalry 

* * *

prettyplayboy: i have learned the renegade

amsunshine: the original or the other one

prettyplayboy: the original is funner so

too pretty for this: imagine needing the renegade to up your follower count lmao

god has left me: image doing thirst trap 

too pretty for this: SHUT

amsunshine: yeahhhh drag his ass through the MUD shirabu

* * *

prettyplayboy: i'm coming for your brand bitch @tooprettyforthis

prettyplayboy: *image sent* [ _ a screenshot of Terushima’s phone, depicting his Tik Tok account with 578.1k followers _ ]

too pretty for this: lmao thats cute

too pretty for this: watch this

too pretty for this: babe @amsunshine

amsunshine: *image sent* [ _ Semi’s presumed Tik Tok account, his follower count is 859.4k _ ]

amsunshine: suck it

THUNDER: so we’re just gonna ignore that shou has a tiktok account w 1.8M followers???

amsunshine: NO STOP

too pretty for this: damn so this is what betrayal feels like huh

Ur filth: *image sent* [ _ It’s Sakusa’s own Tik Tok account, he has 1.2M followers _ ]

Ur filth: If you have under 600k followers, you have rookie numbers. No, I do not take constructive criticism. 

prettyplayboy: this isn't a competition

amsunshine: it literally is you’re just mad u lost bitch boy

prettyplayboy: u lost ur virginity to me tho?? So u lost???

amsunshine: ur not my first tho????

THUNDER: SFIHGRREGGE DRAG HIS ASS

too pretty for this: that’s my boyfriend! 

amsunshine: >:3c

* * *

no u: SDFHIWEGRER SEMI WHAD YOU SEND TO SHOU 

no u: THE HORNY GRIP HE HAS IS ASTRONOMICAL 

too pretty for this: really? 

no u: his knuckles are turning white dkvsbvo

kodzuken: i think hes sweating a bit

too pretty for this: tell him this is revenge for last night

no u: AQWFOERR 

aliens!! are!! real!!: why cant we be like this @stfu

stfu: we literally fuck almost everyday

amsunshine: what a time to be alive

* * *

amsunshine: also dad ew

amsunshine: u’re cheating on mom w an alien fucker???

pls chill: goes to show u that men dont have good taste after they lose the mother of their kids

stfu: let me see my kids akaa

pls chill: no

stfu: PLEASE

pls chill: no haj, you made you're choice, now live with it

* * *

stfu: so all im saying is maybe if you weren’t so stupid you would have a chance w whoever caught your eye shima

prettyplayboy: im not stupid tho

stfu: yes the fuck you are

god has left me: you literally thought that the opposite of division was subtraction

no u: AFHGRE DRAG HIS ASS

amsunshine: w have no choice but to Stan 

amsunshine: oh shit 

amsunshine: you guys i gotta go something happened 

amsunshine: my mom’s back from wherever she was

kodzuken: she wasnt there for the entire time we were at the training camp??

kodzuken: who did natsu stay with??

amsunshine: my dad was home so he stayed with her

amsunshine: oh 

amsunshine: she’s drunk

amsunshine: fuck gootta go

* * *

**_dream team full of gays_ **

THUNDER: has anyone heard from shou

THUNDER: its been three hours and 28 minutes

kodzuken: semi said he called shou like three times, 

kodzuken: he said shou hasn't called back

no u: fuck im worried

no u: do you think we can go over to his house

kodzuken: i dont think we can without getting him in any trouble

no u: what about semi

THUNDER: shou isnt out to his parents yet

no u: are they homophobic?

THUNDER: idk

THUNDER: he doesnt really talk abt them now thinking abt it

kudzuken: WAIT SHUT UP SHUT UP HES CALLING ME

no u: ANSWER ITTT

kodzuken: IM GOING

* * *


	11. oh my god get my inhaler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh this took so long, it didn't want to be written. anyway shou's situation got resolved (?) and more shennanigans have commenced  
> as always mom im sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> es!!!!! USERNAMES!!!!!!  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u  
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me  
> Iwachan: stfu  
> kuguri: vibing  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this  
> sakusa: Ur filth

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: hey

**_several people are typing_ **

THUNDER: hey 

THUNDER: are you okay

too pretty for this: babe, are you safe? do you want me to come over? 

kodzuken: ^ do you want us to come over

stfu: how’re your parents?

stfu: and your sister?

no u: you dont have to tell us everything, 

no u: we just wanna make sure you’re ok yknow

amsunshine: i think it’ll be easier to just tell you guys tomorrow yeah?

amsunshine: some shit went down and i think we gotta cool off for a bit

* * *

shou: my mom’s leaving the country

shou: she said she’s sick of having to take care of us and she wants her life back

eita: oh my god shou im so sorry

eita: is your dad gonna stay with you and natsu?

shou: yeah. he’s gonna be working from home so he can take care of natsu

eita: what about you?

shou: wdym

eita: you said he’s gonna be taking care of natsu, is he gonna be taking care of you too? or is he just gonna do a half assed check up on you like your mom

eita: ik it sounds like im being an asshole but you told me abt how little your mom checks up on you

shou: fuck you

shou: she does check up on me

eita: shou you’ve literally spent three days with me and you’ve slept in my dorm room with me at one point without any call or text from your mom

shou: i have to go

eita: babe

eita: babe come back

eita: shou

eita: shou

eita: shouyou

eita: SHOUYOU

eita: fuck babe im so sorry 

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

THUNDER: ok ik its probably not the best time but

THUNDER: spring high tournaments are next week :00000

y(owo)kai: oh shit they are

* * *

shou: hey

shou: i'm sorry for ignoring you

shou: i had to get used to this

eita: shou its okay

eita: i shouldn’t have pushed so much

eita: i was just worried about you and your sister

eita: how are you guys?

shou: my dad told natsu that my mom really needed a break and that we dont know when she coming back, but natsu is used to my mom leaving for a long time and she’s pretty happy that my dad is staying with us

shou: which is kinda fucked bc natsu is like, 10 and she shoudn’t be used to her mom just fucking off and doing whatever she wants and leaving her kids alone for days on end

shou: damn im kinda sad at it

shou: can you come over?

eita: yea of course

eita: wont your dad mind tho?

shou: nah he’s cool abt it

eita: ok ill be there in like thirty minutes

shou: ok

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsushine: hi im spilling the tea on my fucked up family situation and making jokes abt it 

vibing: oh felt

THUNDER: oh-

amsunshine: so basically what had happened was my mom came from fuck knows where drunk as shit and what not right? and so she STORMS into the house screaming and yelling abt how sick and tired she was having to take care of kids whose father wasnt even there and meanwhile me and natsu are like “oh my god i love this song!!” 

amsunshine: and my dad was like “uh but i got a promotion??? and i can stay home now to help you w the kids??” bc my dad was overseas chasing a bag so we could live comfy and not worry abt college and whatnot but my mom was like nah

amsunshine: so she left with her bags and ran off into the sunset lmao

pls chill: thats v shitty and im sorry you had to experience that shou

amsunshine: it do be like that sometimes

amsunshine: anyway remember my weed plant i mentioned that i thought was dried up

pls chill: yes

THUNDER: yea

amsunshine: its alive :’)

no u: wait can we come over i have something i wanna show you

amsunshine: whos we??

no u: kenma wants to come over too

amsunshine: uwu come over

THUNDER: im comng too!!!! i miss my kouhai 

too pretty for this: he’s crying and saying he loves his friends

no u: so making ME cry is fun huh

* * *

too pretty for this: damn who knew that ‘hanging out’ was pothead code for getting high

amsunshine: SHUT

amsunshine: besides now that the spring high tournaments are coming up i need to stop smoking so much so i can play and beat everyone uwu

y(owo)kai: shiratorizawa is going to wins thanks

y(owo)kai: we’ll be representing miyagi in the nationals (^ 3 ^)

stfu: oh god now you’ve done it

aliens!! are!! real!!: SDDFIHERVV WHAT

aliens!! are!! real!!: i-

aliens!! are!! real!!: i have to go

stfu: lmao

stfu: he’s screaming into his pillow brb

y(owo)kai: huh

THUNDER: that was oikawa tooru, he’s from aoba johsai

y(owo)kai: omfg 

y(owo)ki: well, i mean u still have to win against karasuno and shou is in it so like gl

* * *

stfu: *video attagement* [  _ The video starts with the shot inside a bathroom facing the mirror, it’s Iwaizumi, he’s holding his phone up and he flashes a peace sign, faint, muffled screaming is heard and you can see a shit eating grin on his face. “This is the best day of my life”, he whispers. He moves from the bathroom to stand in front of a door, the screaming is louder here. “Trashy-kawa hasn't stopped screaming and it's been ten minutes.” Iwaizumi’s face isn’t visible, but the glee in his voice can’t be mistaken. He opens the door, and the screaming is heard more clearly, Oikawa is face down on a bed, clutching a pillow and jamming his face into another one. He’s still screaming. Iwaizumi can’t contain his laughter and snorts. The screaming stops, Oikawa’s head pops up and he turns to look at Iwaizumi. Oikawa registers the phone and his eyes widen, he’s out of the bed within seconds and he starts to say something before the video is cut off. _ ]

amsunshine: oh my fucking god he’s fucking dead

amsunshine: wait dad is that u wtf

amsunshine: watch me fuck around and use my monkey brain and call you dad during a match 

prettyplayboy: damnnnn haj is a dilf

fuck you ur stuck w me: Die.

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: can someone in a relationship tell me what its like

i await the sweet release of death: i’m literally ur brother and currently in a relationship w someone why dont u ask me? 

fuck you ur stuck w me: i’d literally rather die than do that thanks

amsunshine: where you genuinely asking or 

fuck you ur stuck w me: im serious

amsunshine: butterflies and feeling warm all over every time you think about them, like a crush but it doesnt stop and only gets bigger and you’re okay w that 

pls chill: ^ basically, and you want them to be better and you’re willing to help them achieve their dreams and you’re sure they will want too as well

kodzuken: hm

kodzuken: interesting

no u: damn,, must be nice to be loved by someone like that 

* * *

**_private chat between kodzuken and you_ **

**kodzuken:** : help i think i have a crush on lev

**amsunshine:** *pretends to be shocked*

**amsunshine:** wait but i thought you liked Kuroo? 

**kodzuken** : nah i was just mistaking platonic for romantic, plus Kuroo thinks of me as his younger brother so it still wouldn’t have worked out

**kodzuken:** also im pretty sure he has the hots for yaku

**amsunshine** : damn 

**amsushine** : wait i’ve been curious for a while why lev

**kodzuken** : idk, hes lev ok

**kodzuken:** i just like him and he makes my stomach feel funny and he makes me feel feelings

**kodzuken:** and hes v pretty and i wanna make him the best n hes cute when he gets fired up and he’s cute when he’s sleepy

**amsunshine:** yikes that's quite nasty

**kodzuken** : you say that like you’re not dating someone rn

**amsunshine** : SHUT

**amsunshine:** ok but semi’s a third year and he’s leaving this yr and also he’s hot and he might forget me :(

**amsunshine** : and i'm just a first yr so what if he finds someone else 

**kodzuken** : k first of all, u r rong, 

**kodzuken** : ur a Bad Bitch 

**kodzuken:** that mf is head over heels for u and he wont forget you that quick

 **kodzuken:** he nearly went over to your house running when the whole thing w your family went down and we had to tell tendou to stop him before anything happened, he's probably in love w you dummy

 **kodzuken:** also im snitching that u feel insecure to him rn brb

* * *

eita: i wont forget you, you know that right?

eita: you mean too much for me to just forget you, 

eita: even after i graduate high school we'll make it work 

eita: because i fucking love you too much to let you go 

shou: oh my god

shou: give me a minute

shou: oh fuck i wasnt ready 

shou: BABEEEEE I LOVE YOU TOO uwu

shou: wait oh my god come over

shou: i miss youuuuuuu :3c

eita: right now?

shou: yesssss

eita: ok im going

shou: hurryyyy

* * *

**_private chat between kodzuken and you_ **

**amsunshine:** :’), 

**amsunshine:** thanks kenma. ok now, i can finally commence the get lev and kenma plan

**amsunshine:** eita is here so he's gonna be helping me

**kodzuken:** wait what

**kodzuken:** what plan

 **amsunshine:** its eita here, the plan is the plan he's been making ever since he began to suspect you might have a crush on lev.

 **amsunshine:** good luck trying to escape now 

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

  
  


Ur filth: I have a question.

god has left me: shoot

Ur filth: How do I sanitise my entire house and keep it clean for three weeks without not living in it.

god has left me: try zero waste products and go minimalist?

Ur filth: Interesting.

* * *

amsunshine: SPRIN HIG SPRING HIGH AHHHAA

THUNDER: FHI:AQVQ{BVQW

kodzuken: u better win so we can play @ nationals

no u: yeah!!!

fuck you ur stuck w me: oh wait u guys go to nationals we might play against each other

amsunshine: i stilll have no idea who you are im sorry 

i await the sweet release of death: oh shit lmao

i await the sweet release of death: i’m miya osamu

i await the sweet release of death: and the shithead i call my brother is miya atsumu

fuck you ur stuck w me: fucker 

fuck you ur stuck w me: im a goddamn DELIGHT to be around

amsunshine: i am going to go Die now

kodzuken: oh yeah you said you’d simp for them huh

amsunshine: stop i’m Deceased

too pretty for this: ha get rekt

amsunshine: meanie

fuck you ur stuck w me: damnn i could’ve had a chance huh 

i await the sweet release of death: no you didn’t you have a shit personality

fuck you ur stuck w me: no i dont

I await the sweet release of death: yes the fuck you do, ask captain and everyone else on the team

fuck you ur stuck w me: smh

aliens!! are!! real!!: chibi-chan~ dont forget we play against each other~~~

amsushine: Bitch.

stfu: get rekt

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: wait wait wait, we should all hang out sometimes

Ur filth: Absolutely not. 

vibing: i wanna vibe w someone

amsunshine: where do u guys live 

fuck you ur stuck w me: hyogo

amsunshine: fuck

kodzuken: u literally always go to shiratorizawa to hang out w semi tho??

amsunshine: yah but eita is in miyagi and it only takes like an hour to go over there uwu

amsunshine: after the spring high we got like a month of intermission so we an practice, maybe we can meet up then?

fuck you ur stuck w me: lets goooooo

stfu: oikawa cant go on the basis that he is a bitch

stfu: all in favor say aye

stfu: aye

amsunshine: aye

fuck you ur stuck w me: aye

prettyplayboy: aye 

vibing: i’ve only been here for a couple weeks but aye

THUNDER: AYE

kodzuken: aye

aliens!! are!! real!!: DDDD: iwachan so mean!!!!!

stfu: shut the fuck up 

aliens!! are!! real!!: he says that but he’s cuddling me so really whos winning here (u 3 u ) ~

aliens!! are!! real!!: GHEWB:QKRVQRRQR

no u: oh my fucking god

vibing: he fucking dead

Ur filth: Truly a tragedy. He most likely won’t be missed. 

fuck you ur stuck w me: so like,,,, should we hang out or

Ur filth: No.

amsunshine: YES!!!!

* * *

amsunshine: SPRING HIGH SPRING GHISH AF:KASDA

THUNDER: SAK:V@RIH@ WAIT IM READY FOR THIS

too pretty for this: gl babe

THUNDER: he uwu’d so much 

* * *

vibing: how to i tell my captain to let me vibe by myself and that his vibes are rancid

amsunshine: walk up to his face and tell him while staring at him straight in his eye if ur not a coward

vibing: how sure are you this will work

amsunshine: not at all! im terrified of my captain bc he has my respect and he's also v scary

amsunshine: if he bothers you too much just tell him that

vibing: bet

too pretty for this: o my god PLEASE don't take his advice last time we took his advice we ended up running from the cops

too pretty for this: AGAIN

amsunshine: >:D

* * *

THUNDER: HOLDS FUK WWERE RUNNIJG AGAIN ANADH ITS HAERD TO TYPE RN EBRB

pls chil: oh no

THUNDER: DW EWE SAFE SO FER

kodzuken: these buthes gto me rinniing for fukgn notheing the ici zrent here yet 

pls chill: oh n o

no u: :D we're fine now!

pls chill: where are you guys

y(owo)kai: we're hiding out in shiratorizawa for now

god has left me: they came in two minutes ago and i'm ready to snitch them out

amsunshine: no D:!!!! we didnt even wake u up, u were already awake

god has left me: SHUT

* * *

amsunshine: HIAFIHW WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT I JUST SAW

god has left me: oh 

god has left me: yeah he's trying to say that there''s nothing going on w the three of them but :/

god has left me: whatever is going on has they've been at it for like two months now

amsunshine: interesting,,,,,,

amsunshine: you damn fraud @y(owo)kai

y(owo)kai: OWO

y(owo)kai: you didnt see anything bad 

amsunshine: i know tea when i see it

y(owo)kai: shhhhh

* * *


	12. pt. 2 of og my god why he got a knife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i cant really say anythig i deleted this chapte and then posted it again. the way its formatted is bothering ,e and its making m kinda wanna cry bc ap exams are coming up and i fel like shit ahhhhhh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> up-fucking-date, i hate it here the way it was formatted was vothering me i truly fucking hate it here ineed sleep and whatnot AFHASHQ anyway enjoy the story im sorry of the way im acting rn but i cant be assed t do all the same effort as all my other chatpers uhhhh if you dont know any of the characters sucks to be you and god be w u fucking uhhhhhh im sorry i swear ill be mcer nect chapter and yeah please dont hate me

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

vibing: @stfu r u like the dad in here

stfu: yes

vibing: ok who’s the mom

stfu: that would be @plschill, except i think we’re divorced now

pls chill: no we stayed together for the kids

stfu: oh ok

vibing: cool so uh

vibing: mom, dad, family

amsunshine: oh my fucking god ur fucking gay arent you, welcome to the team <3

vibing: i mean well, yeah??

vibing: but that's not what i'm focusing on, 

vibing: if i die, 

vibing: scatter my ashes at the closest mcdonald's to you guys

pls chill: oh god 

pls chill: no one is going to die 

amsunshine: wait why are you going to die

pls chill: SHOU

pls chill: NO ONE IS GOING TO DIE

amsunshine: but

pls chill: no

amsunshine: @vibing mom said u can’t die

vibing: damnit

vibing: mom pls

pls chill: no 

vibing: darn

* * *

god has left me: i know i’m supposed to be in class rn but

god has left me: i fucing hate it here

god has left me: tendou and i were hotboxing the restroom rn and his dumbass forgot the eyedrops so we’re just waiting for semi to come for us

too pretty for thus: how the fuck did you guys forget the eyedrops ur really fucking dumb

god has left me: yeah ok so we’re just gonna ignore abt how on more than one occasion has ur bf texted you something and you walked into a wall bc you were too busy smiling at you phone to notice anything

amsunshine: hah loser

THUNDER: poser u do the same thing 

amsunshine: SHUT

too pretty for this: get rekt babe

* * *

too pretty for this: ready to wife my boyfriend the fuck up 

THUNDER: why

THUNDER: you still need the entire team’s permission and so far only i know u and the jury’s still out on whether i approve of you yet 

no u: and you need fukurodani’s approval and nekoma’s approval too

too pretty for this: aw fuck

amsunshine: i mean we can also run away and elope 

too pretty for this: well yeah, but i prefer knowing that ur friends like me bc ik u love them a lot so

amsunshine: oh man babe wait give me a minutes give me a MINUTE! fuck 

amsunshine: oa fuck iw wasnt redy for that oh fuck

amsunshine: get yall a man who wants u to be happy and is willing to get approval from everyone you know so yall can get married uwu

no u: need me a man like that

kodzuken: ah yes

amsunshine: COUGH COUGH

kodzuken: fuck the fuck off i will tell semi abt that one time

too pretty for this: oh????

amsunshine: NO HE DOESNT NEED TO KNOw AB THAT

* * *

amsunshine: SPRINH HIG SPRING GHIH WE’RE PLAYING TIDAYYYY

THUNDER: how do you say ur horny for winning but you dont wanna fuck it

Ur filth: Excited?

THUNDER: oh yeah

THUNDER: yeah im EXCITEDE FIR THUS FUCK IUEA

Ur fith: Hey, quick question.

THUNDER: yeu

Ur filth: Do you have any functioning brain cells?

THUNDER: nope 

Ur filth: Ah, of course, thank you. 

THUNDER: :DDDDD

* * *

amsunshine: WE WOJWEF WFEWHHW QE WONNNN

THUNDER: FUCK EYAHH

too pretty for this: nice

too pretty for this: who’d you play against?

amsunshine: uh,,,

THUNDER: gr8 question, 

THUNDER: no idea

amsunshine: i think it was like ohgimina something 

amsunshine: i had to ask dadchi for the name and now he’s Suspicious

amsunshine: but one of the guys had like,,,,,, extra greasy hair and i was worried for his scalp

amsunshine: also my senpai and my other senpai were making me laugh abt it

amsunshine: @THUNDER ur mean 

THUNDER: k but who was laughing so hard they were crying @ the bus

amsunshine: SHUT

* * *

THUNDER: SDFKIHERER IM CFUCKI*NG SCREEIHING

god has left me: what happened

THUNDER: ok so you know how shou has a tiktok w like 1.2M followers right

god has left me: well now i do

THUNDER: SIHRQGER 

amsunshine: senpai you fucking snitch

THUNDER: ANYWAY, our vice captain found his account and ie never seen shou pale so fast

amsunshine: i thought i was gonna die. 

THUNDER: he ended hiding behind our ace and begging him to distract our vice captain

amsunshine: remind me to thank him tomorrow, he took the fall for me

amsunshine: everyone say thank you asahi-san

THUNDER: lmao

* * *

amsunshine: this just in, im yeeting my dad into the sun

THUNDER: why

amsunshine: i told him we were gonna deep clean the house and the coward took Natsu to the park and he’s hiding out there

Ur filth: Coward, deep cleaning the house is a very relaxing and satisfying activity to do. 

THUNDER: shou, i’ve seen the way you deep clean, you’re a fucking tyrant, he was a smart man to escape while he still could. 

amsunshine: i like having a clean house ok

amsunshine: come over you’re gonna help me clean my house

THUNDER: uh

THUNDER: my mom’s calling me to eat, goodnight!

amsunshine: coward

amsunshine: @tooprettyforthis babe come over we’re deep cleaning my house 

too pretty for this: uh

too pretty for this: i have practice today

amsunshine: its sunday?????

too pretty for this: we’re very dedicated

amsunshine: liar ik ur schedule

too pretty for this: coach changed it

amsunshine: so why hasn't sa-chan complained abt it when we’ve been online?

too pretty for this: oh gee look at the time i have to go to bed

amsunshine: its currently 1:15 in the afternoon

too pretty for this: time isnt real babe

too pretty for this: night!

amsunshine: i’m surrounded by cowards

Ur filth: Well, anyway, what type of cleaning products do you use?

amsunshine: well, im glad u asked 

amsunshine: i currently use this one bleach thats industrial strength bc it gives a really deep clean and leaves the surface shiny for a while

amsunshine: i also like using this one spray called bath and kitchen foam cleaning, it’s my favorite thing to use bc if i’m not careful the restroom WILL be filthy w all the things my little sister brings into the bathtub

Ur filth: Ohh, that’s a good product, may I suggest another one?

amsunshine: oooh yes pls

Ur filth: Well, recently I’ve been using this stainless steel cleaner on the stove and the results have simply been astounding.

* * *

vibing: i’m going to drop kick my captain if he keeps whining about his gf dumping him

vibing: just get over it 

vibing: breeders are a different species altogether

amsunshine: the gay agenda is making fun of the straights when they whine abt other straights

* * *

amsunshine: in other news my dad said that my grades have been the highest they’ve ever been and that he’s proud of me

amsunshine: in conclusion, having your dad say he’s proud of you hit DIFFERENT

pls chill: yes

too pretty for this: babe

too pretty for this: are you crying

amsunshine: yes.

amsunshine: but its a good crying dont worry

amsunshine: and!!! he asked abt vball!! i told im that we’re playing w a chance to go to nationals uwu

THUNDER: do u think he’s gonna come to support?

amsunshine: he wanted to but i told him that i’ll tell him when to come support

THUNDER: tell him to bring natsu

amsunshine: duh

aliens!! are!! real!!: chibi-chan~ you still have to play against us~~

amsunshine: and i’ll be sure to be feral for that game u alien fucker

THUNDER: SGIHAGGRER GET REKT 

aliens!! are!! real!!: O^O so mean chibi-chan T~T

stfu: its what you deserve 

* * *

y(owo)kai: seeing sunshine rage is quite the scene

y(owo)kai: its like getting a severe sunburn and also waiting to see a supernova explode

god has left me: ooooh what happened

kodzuken: yeah but semi also got pissed and ngl it was kinda hot to see them feed off of each other’s energy

y(owo)kai: oh yeah it as quite a spectacle

god has left me: you cant just say that and not expect me to not demand a story time 

y(owo)kai: OWO!!!!! Story time!!!!!!!!!

y(owo)kai: @nou get on u absolute beanstalk of a child we’re having story time

no u: :DDDDD i love story times!!!

no u: what are we talking about

kodzuken: when shou and his bf got mad today

no u: :00000 

no u: that shit was terffifying!!! 

kodzuken: damn you got so scared you forgot how to spell huh

no u: kenmaaaaaaa :((((((((

kodzuken: >:3c

y(owo)kai: OWO?????? This is a situation for further examination 

y(owo)kai: LATER!!

y(owo)kai: ok to set the scene, we’re at the park w me, kod, the beanstalk, semisemi and our resident sunshine child boy and we’re straight vibing (well not straight bc we’re all gay but whatever) and so this guy comes up to urs truly and starts to HaRrAs me as if i care abt his opinion 

kodzuken: and thats illegal and its punishable by death

no u: yeah!!!! >:(

no u: bothering someone bc of something they did as a CHILD doesnt fucking make sense, u were a fucking kid and if people dont understand that,,,

no u: chair, 

no u: but make it electric

kodzuken: no lev stop ur gonna scare the ted bundy stans

god has left me: wait the american serial killer 

kodzuken: yes

god has left me: he has stans???? 

kodzuken: crazy shit ik

no u: wait but kenma how u know

kodzuken: its called waiting for you to wake up bc you fucking fell alseep on my lap AGAIN and i didnt want to wake u up bc ur a whiny shitface when i wake u up so i went on twitter and went down a rabbit hole 

no u: :(( sorryyy

kodzuken: its whatever u have horrible sleeping habits

no u: u do to????

kodzuken: shut up

god has left me: he’s a serial killer tho??????

y(owo)kai: hm yes yes some american people are fucked up and whatnot

y(owo)kai: we been knew tho

y(owo)kai: BUt ANYWAY BACK TO MY STORY

y(owo)kai: the guy apparently used to know me back in my bowl cut days and then started talking about how much of a freak i was bc of how i blocked and also i guess my personality 

y(owo)kai: which i confess isnt the most child friendly or safest to be around when im in a Mood^™ lmao

y(owo)kai: but anyway shou and semi got really pissed at the guy and i think shou was ready to stab him bc he stood up really quick and really quietly 

no u: i had a knife :DDDD 

god has left me: WHAT 

no u: my babushka always says to keep a knife with me so that if anything ever happens i would be ready for anything :DDDDD

god has left me: oh my god youre all fucking feral 

kodzuken: i had a screwdriver just in case 

god has left me: WAHT

amsunshine: you’re all cowards for not letting me do what i needed to do and stopping me >:(

y(owo)kai: we cant have you murdering people that want to bother me

amsunshine: watch me

too pretty for this: you guys aren't wit it smh

y(owo)kai: you guys are overprotective, ive told you its fine

y(owo)kai: its hasnt bothered me since i was in middle school its fine 

amsunshine: but it bothered you before middle is what you’re saying right

too pretty for this: he’s lying it still bothers him sometimes

amsunshine: ok so we’re gonna make a “love and appreciate sa-chan” club, eita and me are presidents, who wants to join we’re currently recruiting

amsunshine: all in favor say aye

too pretty for this: aye

god has left me: aye

no u: aye

kodzuken: aye 

amsunshine: @THUNDER get on senpai we’re loving and appreciating sa-chan

THUNDER: aye aye

THUNDER: what happened

amsunshine: one of sa-chan’s old bullies was bothering him and no one let me do what i needed to do and finish him

THUNDER: cowards, the lot of you

THUNDER: i would've bit the fucker >:(

amsunshine: exactly

god has left me: so all in all of you guys are feral 

THUNDER: :D yes!

god has left me: and one of you guys has a knife w u at all times

no u: yes!!! :D

kodzuken: and a screwdriver

kodzuken: but lev isnt allowed to use his knife bc he accidentally cut his arm like two months ago

kodzuken: so we trade, he gets the screwdriver and i get the knife

god has left me: of course, thats logical

no u: :DDDD

* * *

amsunshine: WE WOJG 

amsunshine: also who the FUCK let the mfer be that tall

THUNDER: as a short person i felt that 

amsunshine: short person nation unite

god has left me: uh

god has left me: not be offensive, but,,,,, to you guys, almost everyone is tall

THUNDER: SHUT

amsunshine: well yea but this dude had NO REASON being 200 centimeters tall tho

no u: :000000

no u: waaaaat

no u: im 196cm >:(((((

amsunshine: you-

amsunshine: sir pls, spare some height for the vertically challenged

no u: lmao

amsunshine: wait

amsunshine: kenma how will you do it

kodzuken: do what

amsunshine: yknow

kodzuken: shut up ill make him kneel 

amsunshine: kinky

amsunshine: anyways this calls for an intervention!!

kodzuken: oh no

amsunshine: >:DDDDD

* * *

**_plan: make levken a thing >:D_ **

Shira: whats the plan

Shira: whats levken

Eita: oh god babe why're you smiling like that

Shou: hey >:((((((

Shou: im not smiling in anyway

Sa-chan!!!!: OWO????????

Sa-chan!!!!: whats this?????????

Shou: hi everyone im glad you’re here, as youve noticed the group chat is named make levken a thing

Shou: now whats levken you ask? Well, my gays and gremlins, its lev and kenma as a couple!!!!!!!! :DDDDD

Shou: bv they both have a crush on each other and im lowkey tired of having to hear them talking abt how cute the other is and if i wasnt single i would've wanted a relationship like them but i have a Boyfriend so they’re the suckers

Eita: babe why are you like this

Eita: dont you think they can figure it out themselves?

Shou: No. theyre both v stupid and stubbonr

Shou: once i told lev outright that kenma’s type is exactly like him and you know what he said

Shou: do you know what he fucking said

Sa-chan!!!!: whatd he say

Shou: he said, very clearly jealousy, “oh thats great, we have to find him someone like me then”

Shou: DFKGRIHRQGR HES FUCKIGN STUOIDI IS WEAT TO GOD DFIWF

Shira: oh god

Sa-chan!!!!: AIHSDIHRGEV WE HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE LIKE ME HASVAVD THIS DUDE IS FUCIGN STUPID I SWAET OGH NOOO

Eita: oh god

Shou: now do you agree w me babe

Eita: youre right, they need help

Shou: tHANK YOu

Sa-chan!!!!: so whats the plan

Shou: well,,,,

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

i await the sweet release of death: someone take away my brothers rights

vibing: me but w my captain

fuck you ur stuck w me: suffer bitch

vibing: why what happened

i await the sweet release of death: the fucking asswipe tricked me into watching boku no pico

vibing: why would you fucking do that

vibing: i get its a classic for newbies but why

fuck you ur stuck w me: if i had to watch then so will he

fuck you ur stuck w me: also fucking @prettyplayboy told me to watch it

prettyplayboy: what

prettyplayboy: oh! Yes >:)

prettyplayboy: guess who made me watch it

vibing: who

prettyplayboy: my “ex”

vibing: ????

prettyplayboy: OH

prettyplayboy: thats right you weren't here for that

vibing: so then??

vibing: please fill me in??

prettyplayboy: ok so @/amsunshine and i “dated” for like three weeks

fuck you ur stuck w me: bc shou wanted some guy who confessed to him off his back

prettyplayboy: yes, so while we were dAtInG, he made me watch that shit and i was horrified

fuck you u stuck w me: wait what

i await the sweet release of death: shou????? @/amsunshine???? That guy????

prettyplayboy: crazy shit i know

prettyplayboy: he said that @/y(owo)kai made him watch it 

vibing: its a cruel cycle the way we watch that shitshow

vibing: the car scene fucked me up and i couldnt look at ice cream the same way for a while after that

fuck you ur stuck w me: fuck that i was scarred from that ice cube scene 

vibing: wait that reminds me, on youtube there's a video of an american guy that does a fucking analysis and theory video abt it

prettyplayboy: no fucking way

vibing: yes fucking way dude hes a fucking hero 

prettyplayboy: brb gonna go watch it

vibing: you should all watch it

fuck you ur stuck w me: bet

* * *

pls chill: someone tell me why my boyfriend has a knife

amsunshine: it was lev's fault

no u: you fuckig snitch

amsunshine: im sorry 

stfu: why does lev have a knife

no u: im half russian ur honor my babushka is always wanting me to be safe and armed

stfu: not to be rude but what the fuck is a babushka

no u: my russian grandma :DDDDD

no u: it feels weird calling her grandma so i just call her babushka and also it makes her happy when i call her that

stfu: oh yea tht makes sense but y does she want you to have a knife

no u; she's russian sir, she's badass

no u: i can only hope to be has half as badass as her 

amsunshine: and she makes great cookies

no u: yeah :DDD

pls chill: so you gave my boyfriend a knife

no u: mayhaps

pls chill: LEV

no u: IM SORRY HE GAVE ME PUPPY EYS AND WHINDE

kodzuken: ur puppy eyes are stronger so i thought you'd be immune 

no u: (^ z ^) sorryyyyy its was more like a little owl staring me down 

no u: and kuroo-san was egging me on

pls chill: lev, how many knives do you have exactly

no u: uhhhhh like 5 

pls chill: in total?

no u: oh in total

no u: uh

pls chill: wdym oh in total

no u: 

pls chill: lev

pls chill: LEV

kodzuken: he has alot 

kodzuken: as far as i know he always has at least two on him

pls chill: oh god

amsunshine: and kenma always has a screwdriver somewhere in his pockets or backpack >:)

kodzuken: shou you fucking snitch

amsunshine: this is revenge you coward

kodzuken: >:O

* * *

no u: friendship ended w shou and kenma now @vibing is my new best friend

amsunshine: IM SORRY

kodzuken: bitch

vibing: hehe

too pretty for this: babe it was kinda fucked up of you to do him like that

amsunshine: shhh

no u: kugu link up we'll vibe together on a roof somewhere

kodzuken: vibe on a roof w someone else and ill steal all of ur knives

no u: k nvm kugu we'll vibe at the parking lot near the supermarket by the mall

vibing: cool see u there

no u: :DDDDD

amsunshine: bitch boy

too pretty for this: all this for uno smh


	13. drunk pining and promise rings oh my

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> semihina stans come get yall juice  
> i'm the author and lev and kenma are making me pull my hair out smh, someone help these boys  
> as always, mom im sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo i'm back! one exam done and two more to go, yallre angels for dealing w the shitshow that was last chapter's notes uwu, next year when i get my classes remind me not to choose three ap's   
> anyways here's who's who  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u  
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me  
> Iwachan: stfu  
> kuguri: vibing  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this  
> sakusa: Ur filth

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

vibing: someone tell me why my captain has a boner for this one guy 

amsunshine: your captain will either date him or fuck him its one or the other im so sorry to tell you

vibing: ugh

vibing: he’s a fucking rat

amsunshine: ur captain?

vibing: yes, hes a fucking shit

amunshine: just come to my school and we can vibe in the restrooms n hotbox them

vibing: omw

amsunshine: fuck yeah

pls chill: no one will be switching schools to hotbox the restrooms

amsunshine: im telling dad

amsunshine: @stfu daaaaaaaaaaad

amsunshine: @stfu daaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

vibing: ,,,,

vibing: @stfu daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

stfu: oh my god WHAT

amsunshine: mom isnt letting kugu come to my school and vibe in the restrooms w me

stfu: smh ur mom is v right 

stfu: u’d burn down that school if u had the chance

amsunshine: >:(

amsunshine: WACK

vibing: WACk

* * *

y(owo)kai: yikes i forgot how quick semi gets pissed

no u: ???? wdym

no u: i thought semi didnt get mad easily

y(owo)kai: nah semi is a fucking asshole and he gets mad QUICK

y(owo)kai: this is gonna sound fucking cheesy but,,,,

y(owo)kai: he told me that when he’s w shou he’s calmer and he can keep his cool in situations where he would normally start swinging

no u: ,,,,,,

no u: god im so fucking single

no u: anyway what brought this on

y(owo)kai: oh! he got in a fight rn

no u: WHAT

y(owo)kai: yeah, so basically what had happened was that some fuckface dropped ice cream on his shirt and the dude blamed semi and then semi swung 

no u: ,,,,,did he

no u: did he win

y(owo)kai: oh yeah

y(owo)kai: broke the dude’s nose and everything

amsunshine: my boyfriend did WHAT

y(owo)kai: whoops look at the time gotta blast kids!!

* * *

shou: BABE

shou: sa-chan said you got in a fight

shou: u ok?

eita: satori’s a fucking snitch

eita: yeah, i’m fine

eita: my knuckles are swollen but i put ice on it so it;ll be fine

eita: im just kinda pissed that i let myself get that mad again

shou: wha

shou: your knuckles better not be broken good sir

shou: but you fought him because he dropped ice cream on your shirt?

shou: or was there another reason

eita: satori didn’t know

shou: what didn’t he know

eita: he doesn’t know

shou: eita what doesn’t he know

eita: i was on a trip w acid

shou: eita

shou: eita you told me that you only do when you get bad

shou: you said you weren’t gonna take them again

eita: i know what i fucking said 

eita: i’m getting bad again ok? fuck, it’s like you’re my babysitter or something

shou: eita you know i didn’t mean it like that

shou: i didn’t mean to come off as overbearing

eita: i know, it's just

eita: i got in a fight with my mom yesterday and she was bitching about how i never seem to be interested in a ReAl JoB and how music isn’t a secure job and it’ll take too long and it’s too risky. so i called her out on the fact that she always tells me that i’m a SuBpAr StUdeNT and she slapped me. 

eita: so i went back to the dorms and found some acid from some guy and i took some

shou: oh

shou: babe, eita, i’m sorry

shou: do you want me to come over and talk abt or something?

eita: no

eita: no don’t come over, i’m still tripping and i don’t want to do something that’ll hurt you 

shou: ok

shou: stay safe babe, sleep it off

eita: ok, i will

shou: i love you

eita: i love you too

eita: <3 gn

shou: gn

shou: <3

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

no u: @kodzuken tell ourr rooster man ro fib mw mt knicea back

kodzuken: what

no u: i want my knices back

kodzuken: your knives???

kodzuken: what about them

no u: ur rooster man as thm ad i want tem back

no u: id so tlike ytoue hwar nd tou hadn in ra reakaojnshoupi 

amsunshine: please ignore him he’s drunk and high

amsunshine: im trying to get his phone away from him

no u: nooo noy my pojoem eem,aaa sabe emmeeee

amsunshine: we’ll be going now

no u: kenmmmmmaaaaaa ue beaikinf ,y nheart wgkm39q04

vibing: oh my fucking god he fucking dead

kodzuken: what

amsunshine: i took his phone away im so sorry

vibing: who’s the rooster man

too pretty for this: honestly idk

too pretty for this: but lev’s been ranting abt that and some pudding boy for about two hours now

too pretty for this: oh he’s sleeping on the floor 

too pretty for this: *image sent* [ _ It’s Lev sleeping on a floor near a bed. He’s contorted in a strange shape and his face is flushed, presumably from alcohol intake. Hinata is posing by Lev’s head. He’s kneeling and has his hands as if praying with his eyes closed. His expression is grave. _ ] 

too pretty for this: shou says he’s praying that lev experiences the worst of hangovers

amsunshine: he deserves it

* * *

Kenmaaaaa <3: shouyou

Kenmaaaaa <3: what did lev mean 

Kenmaaaaa <3: why was he drunk

Kenmaaaaa <3: where were you guys

Shouyouuuu: shou and lev are sleep rn 

Shouyouuuu: its semi here 

Shouyouuuu: basically what happened was that we were at my dorm for the weekend and lev brought alcohol from his house and proceeded to get shitfaced

Kenmaaaaa <3: but he once told me he was a heavyweight and it took a lot to get him drunk 

Kenmaaaaa <3: how much did he drink

Shouyouuuu: he said he didn’t want to drink alone bc he was sad and he didn’t want to bother you

Shouyouuuu: he had two big bottles of vodka and a jack daniels w him

Kenmaaaaa <3: oh

Kenmaaaaa <3: when he wakes up tell him to call me so i can walk him back to his house

Shouyouuuu: ok

* * *

**_plan: make levken a thing >:D_ **

Shou: my heaad hurts

Shou: @babe turn off the lights

Shou: where are u >:((((

Shou: come back to the bed 

Shou: i miss youuuuuuuuuu

Eita: i'm in the restroom

Shou: whyyyyyy >:(((((

Eita: because you wanted painkillers for your headache and you made me get them for u

Shou: oh

Shira: listen, as much as i like reading how disgustingly soft and domestic you guya are, whats the reason

Shira: cant you text semi regularly 

Shira: like text messaging w his number

Shou: OHHH!! Wait no i had a reason

Shou: so so so we got drunk right

Shira: first of all whos we and why wasnt i invited

Shou: it was lev’s pity party

Shira: oh nvm 

Shira: well what happened

Eita: ok so lev shows up to my dorm w shou right and he’s like “i dont want to drink alone and shou’s dad and sister are @ his house so we cant drink there so can i drink here pls” so obviously they come in right

Shira: naturally 

Eita: and he has like heavy booze 

Shou: he brought two big vodka bottles!!

Shira: oh shit

Eita: and a jack daniels

Shira: and then what happeneded

Eita: he starts talking about how cute and soft kenma's hair is and how much he liked hanging out w him on the roof bc he felt and i quote “like there was no one else but the both of us” 

Eita: or some shit like that

Shou: and!!!!! 

Shou: kenma texted me in the morning but i was sleeping so eita answered and he showed me the convo and kenma was worrrrriieeeedddd

Shira: ur fucken lying lemme c 

Shou: im going im going

Shou: *image sent* [ _ It’s a screenshot of the conversation between Kenma and Semi in the morning earlier on Hinata’s phone. _ ]

Shira: oh wow

Shira: wait whos the rooster man

Eita: that’d be the captain of nekoma

Shou: his name’s kuroo :D

Shou: and also the only people kenma calls is me and lev uwu

Shou: he barely makes phone calls bc he hates talking on the phone but im speshul and he’s like in LoVe w lev 

Shira: stupid ur in love too

Shou: NO STOP 

Shou: IT WAS A SECRET

Eita: damn you love someone else :(

Eita: i knew it would come to this (t~t)

Shira: yea bitch ur unlovable >:D

Shou: nooooooo hes nottt

Shou: thats my baby ur talking abt >:(((

Shira: gross

Shou: anyway wheres sa-chan

Shou: he's usually awake by now no

Shira: probably in goshiki’s room again

Shira: w ushijima, cuddling and pretending like they're not head over heels for one another

Shou: has he admitted yet

Shira: nope

Shou: darn

Shou: i was hoping he would come clean smh

Shira: it’s practically an open secret nowadays smh

Shira: even coach knows abt it

Eita: i'm pretty sure he and waka-kun got goshiki a promise ring 

Shou: oh my god they got him a promise ring???

Shou: eita why can't you be like that

Shira: yeah eita why can’t you be like them

Eita: shirabu kenjirou i will punt ur miserable little ass across the track

Shira: you gotta catch me first bitch

Eita: i got long legs fuckface

Eita: anyway babe, bold of you to assume satori and waka-kun didn’t get the idea from me

Shira: oh my god is that what you were hiding from reon 

Eita: yes

Shou: dfvkjbwer

Shou: i love youuuuuuu

Eita: >:) 

Eita: i love you too

Shira: GROSS

* * *

tiny bird boy: leeeeeevvvvv

XXL beanstalk: shouyouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

tiny bird boy: leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvv

XXL beanstalk: shoouuuuuuuuyyyyyoouuuuuuuuuuuu

tiny bird boy: llllllllleeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

XXL beanstalk: ssssssshhhhhhhhhhoooooouuuuuuuuyyyyyyyyoooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuu

XXL beanstalk: whats up

tiny bird boy: hows ur head

XXL beanstalk: feels like it got fucked by an elephant

tiny bird boy: ew

XXL beanstalk: dude u asked 

tiny bird boy: i asked howre you feeling not if you were an elephant fucker bitch man

XXL beanstalk: yeah ok whatever coward

XXL beanstalk: anyway what did u want

tiny bird boy: check the chat u alcoholic

tiny bird boy: >:D

tiny bird boy: i expect a bottle of jack daniels and clear spring grain as a thank you

XXL beanstalk: aw fuck

XXL beanstalk: what type of jack daniels

tiny bird boy: the rye whiskey one

XXL beanstalk: picky bitch

tiny bird boy: unstable pining alcoholic

tiny bird boy: oh btw kenma said to call him when u wake up

tiny bird boy: u got a lot of explaining to do lover boy

XXL beanstalk: can you tell him i died of alcohol poisoning

tiny bird boy: nope ur half russian, it'd be a shame to ur ancestry

tiny bird boy: face the consequences of your actions

XXL beanstalk: if u werent so far away i'd rock ur shit

tiny bird boy: i'm less than 3 feet away from u

XXL beanstalk: yeah but ur on a bed and im on the floor

tiny bird boy: poor reon, he doesnt deserve to have a bitchass beanstalk first yr on the floor like that

XXL beanstalk: bitch im hungover, i'll roll under the bed if i need to

tiny bird boy: ok yeah but who's fault is it ur hungover

tiny bird boy: call him

XXL beanstalk: ughghghhhh

XXL beanstalk: but he's gonna ask quessstioooonnnsssss

tiny bird boy: sucks to suck i guess

XXL beanstalk: im just gonna text him

tiny bird boy: pussy ass bitch

XXL beanstalk: ur a horrible person u know that right

tiny bird boy: eita doesnt think so

XXL beanstalk: yeah well eita-san thinks the sun shines out your ass

tiny bird boy: >:D

* * *

leaf: hey kenma

leaf: i'm awake

kitkat : what did you mean last night

leaf: wdym? 

kitkat: you don't remember?

leaf: no??

kitkat: who's the rooster man

leaf: kuroo

kitkat: oh

leaf: bc of his hair 

kitkat: lmao

kitkat: lev, why'd u get drunk like that 

leaf: ah

leaf: i do be going thru it 

kitkat: haiba lev

leaf: kozume kenma 

leaf: i'm sorry kenma, but that's something i can't tell you

leaf: there's been some things i can't tell you 

kitkat: lev, take care of yourself,

kitkat: please

leaf: yeah i swear

kitkat: i'm coming over there and i'm walking you home, ok

leaf: you don't have to do that

kitkat: no i am

kitkat: you'd get lost bc ur that dumb

leaf: >:(

leaf: r00d

leaf: i'l wait for you by the entrance yeah?

kitkat: yes

kitkat: i'm making u wear the Sweater

leaf: >:0 

leaf: i'm running away

kitkat: no u won't

leaf: yeah

leaf: i won't 

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

prettyplayboy: raise your hand if you've ever accidentally set your dick on fire

vibing: 

vibing: what in the fuck

y(owo)kai: second year finals were dark times 

prettyplayboy: EXACTLY

pls chill: hey quick question what the fuck

y(owo)kai: sometimes accidents happen

stfu: ive set someone else on fire 

stfu: but on purpose

pls chill: haj why

stfu: i had reasons

aliens!! are!! real!!: oh! was it the guy was harassing me and trying to get my number for weeks

stfu: yes

pls chill: oh, understandable 

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: i would do a lot for my mom

fuck you ur stuck w me: but not them damn dishes 

i await the sweet release of death: i mean you never do them

i await the sweet release of death: thats why ur a rat w no rights

fuck you ur stuck w me: oi fuck you

i await the sweet release of death: oh god no dont touch me

fuck you ur stuck w me: disgusTANG

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: someone called me sangwoo and im ready to swing on they ass

amsunshine: oh god why

fuck you ur stuck w me: thats what i’d like to know

fuck you ur stuck w me: the dude is a fucking shithole of a guy yeah he had a bad past but that doesnt excuse him for acting the way he did 

amsunshine: yes

fuck you ur stuck w me: oh wait they responded brb

amsunshine: go beat they ass bruv

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: un fucking believable

THUNDER: what

fuck you ur stuck w me: so they person called me sangwoo right and i asked why and you know what they said

amsunshine: oooh what they say

THUNDER: ??

fuck you ur stuck w me: they said they said

fuck you ur sutck w me: i ACT like him

fuck you ur stuck w me: @iawaitthesweetreleaseofdeath come get ur girl

i await the sweet release of death: what

i await the sweet release of death: oh shit

i await the sweet release of death: my bad tsumu i told her that it was fucked up to do that 

fuck you ur stuck w me: smh

* * *

god has left me: who the FUCK let me think taking tird yr classes was smart

god has left me: @tooprettyforthis @y(owo)kai this is your fault

y(owo)kai: OWO

y(owo)kai: whos the dumbass that listened tho

god has left me: fuck you

too pretty for this: didn’t you pass the entrance exams tho

too pretty for this: like w/o a scholarship

god has left me: and what about

too pretty for this: damn bitch, all i’m saying is that you should be good to go w your bitchass in these advanced classes ur taking w us

god has left me: kiss my fucking ass, these tests are fucking difficult

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: wait so are w going to ever meet in person or not

Ur filth: I would love life if I don't have to meet you

fuck you ur stuck w me: r00d

amsunshine: ooooh yes we should

too pretty for this: i thought we already established that we would

too pretty for this: like during the intermission of finals for qualifiers and nationals

amsunshine: its decided then, we'll be meeting then

amsunshine: @everyone pay attention fucks 

amsunshine: we'll iron out the details later but during the intermission between finals and nationals, we'll be linking up

amsunshine: ALL of us

Ur filth: Can I skip

amsunshine: sure, if u wanna miss out on cleaning secrets

Ur filth: Fuck.

amsunshine: >:D see u there kyoomi-san

Ur filth: sigh

* * *

amsunshine: BITCH MAN @prettyplayboy

prettyplayboy: huh

prettyplayboy: oh! 

prettyplayboy: hehe nice seeing you again shou

amsunshine: u should be feeling fucking BLESSED at laying ur eyes upon me 

prettyplayboy: uhuh yes whatever who was the girl?

amsunshine: ???? what girl

prettyplayboy: the girl you were talking to when we saw each other 

prettyplayboy: the one w the black hair

amsunshine: OH

amsunshine: that’s one of our managers and she’s a goddess in human form

THUNDER: who 

THUNDER: shimizu-san?

amsunshine: yesh

THUNDER: god she’s so fucking incredibale

THUNDER: show stopping amazing iconic never before seen incredible breathtaking

THUNDER: ugh her MIND

prettyplayboy: yeah her, what her number

THUNDER: 911

amsunshine: bitch man, she doesn’t give her number to guys like u 

prettyplayboy: wdym guys like me smh

amsunshine: do i have to explain?

prettyplayboy: ,,, ur right my bad

amsunshine: anyway gl tomorrow 

prettyplayboy: yeah sure

* * *

prettyplayboy: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

amsunshine: hehe

prettyplayboy: how the fuc k u do that

amsunshine: hehehe

THUNDER: hehe that was a lot of fun

prettyplayboy: oh yeah the vibes were immaculate

prettyplayboy: good luck on ur other games btw

THUNDER: thank

prettyplayboy: and remember to have fun 

amsunshine: duh

* * *

amsunshine: QUARTER FINALSA QUARTER FINALSSSS

THUNDER: AAHHAHAHHA

i await the sweet release of death: what school are you guys playig against

amsunshine: uhhhhhhhh

THUNDER: gr8 question 

THUNDER: shou check

amsunshine: on it!!

amsunshine: its wakutani high school

i await the sweet release of death: huh never heard of them

i await the sweet release of death: anyway me and my brother say good luck

amsunshine: yes

* * *


	14. oh my fucking god my dad died

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hehe. mom i'm sorry  
> anyways here's who's who  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u  
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me  
> Iwachan: stfu  
> kuguri: vibing  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this  
> sakusa: Ur filth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the boys have no brain cells but they fianlly advanced to the semifinals!! :D also hina will def call iwa dad in the next chp, i couldn't find a good place to put it in here, anyway enjoy!! dont be scared to rant in the comments they're my emotional support in these trying times uwu

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: SDHGIH AHHHHH H MY GI HEGIR

god has left me: what

amsunshine: oh my fucking god my dad died

too pretty for this: what

amsunshine: my team captain dad, daichi, he had a collision w one of our spikers and he just,,, fucking DIED

THUNDER: rip sawamura daichi, he will be missed

god has left me: oh my god do he actually die 

amsunshine: YES HE DIED

THUNDER: HE WAS ONLY SEVENTEEN

amsunshine: aye but in all seriousness, i was actually scared for him

THUNDER: that shit was terrifying

god has left me: was this caught on camera?

amsunshine: yes? 

amsunshine: i think? 

THUNDER: cancel me if you want but

THUNDER: TANAKA NICE KILL

amsunshine: DEWVPIGV STOP RIGHT THERE SIR

god has left me: so ur just gonna do that and not tell us what the link is

amsunshine: i’ll just send you the clip itself 

amsunshine: *video attachment* [ _ It’s the scene where Daichi dives for the ball and then fucking dies during the Wakutani vs Karasuno game. He saves the ball and immediately turns around to get back on the court. Then he collides with Tanaka and he lies on the ground, unresponsive. Sawamura Daichi is dead. _ ] 

THUNDER: omg no that looks even worse bc its from a different perspective

god has left me: yknow when u see a car crash in person

amsunshine: yea

god has left me: this has the same vibes to it

THUNDER: SFDIHQQE 

* * *

amsunshine: IM NEARING THE END OF MY FOURTH YEAR

THUNDER: I FEE LIKE IVE bEEN LACKING CRYInG TOO MANT TEARS

no u: EVERYONE SEEMED TO SAY IT WAS SO GREAT 

kodzuken: BUT DID I MISS OUT WAS IT A HUGE MISTAKE

god has left me: what is going on 

y(owo)kai: shhhhh the best part is coming up 

amsunshine: I CANT HELP THE FACT THAT I LIKE TO BE ALONE 

THUNDER: IT MIGHT SEEM KINDA SAD BUT THAT ALL I SEEM TO KNOW

no u: I TEND TO HANDLE THINGS USUALLY BY MYSELF 

kodzuken: AND I CANT EVER SEEM TO TRY AND ASK FOR HELP 

y(owo)kai: IM SITTING HERE CRYING IN MY PROM DRESS

amsunshine: ID BE THE PROM QUEEN IF CRYING WAS A CONTEST

y(owo)kai: nice

y(owo)kai: where are you guys

amsunshine: honestly idk

amsunshine: im 92% sure we started off in a mall and then we like,,,, vibed outta there

vibing: damn yall vibing w/o me 

vibing: thats literally all i do smh

amsunshine: fucking link up coward

vibing: omw

no u: :DDDDD

no u: lets go to my house no one’s there 

vibing: bet

amsunshine: nooo where’s ur sister >:(((

no u: she’s at a friends house methinks

kodzuken: lev i see a cat

kodzuken: come w me 

no u: :0000 

no u: coming!

vibing: huh

vibing: @amsunshine i see what you mean

amsunshine: RIGHT????

* * *

no u: kenma and i have a child and his name is butter

kodzuken: <3

amsunshine: huh

amsunshine: WAIT

kodzuken: its joint custody lev has more room for butter

kodzuken: but i found him first

no u: i love that cat so much already

amsunshine: 

too pretty for this: he’s screaming rn

no u: ?

too pretty for this: sigh

too pretty for this: this is gonna be tougher than i thought

* * *

**_plan: make levken a thing >:D_ **

Shou: A CAT

Shou: A FUCKING CAT 

Shou: THEY GOT A FUCKING CAT AND THEYRE CALLING IT THIR CHILD I AM GOING TO FUCKING EAT A STICK

Shira: wha

Shira: whats going on

Eita: read the chat

Shira: k

Sa-chan!!!!: OWO???????

Sa-chan!!!!: yikes

Sa-chan!!!!: this is v v painful to watch

Shira: yea almost as painful as watching you try and hide the fact that ur in a  polyamorous relationship like we would judge u for it

Shira: we want u to be happy stupid, we dont care if ur w two people 

Sa-chan!!!!: u h

Sa-chan!!!!: lets focus back onto the levken thing yea

Shira: coward

Shou: noooooo 

Shou: sa-chan will tell us when he’s readyyyy

Shou: (but yeah we wont judge u for dating two guys at the same time ur still our friend and we love u dummy) 

Shou: but anyway im ready to yeet kenma n lev into the sun if they dont get their shit together

Eita: what are you planning

Shou: :)

* * *

_**not straight but at least we can play vball** _

amsunshine: hey who wants to hang out rn

vibing: anything to get outta the house

no u: :00000 

no u: @kodzuken let goooo!!!!

kodzuken: lev no

no u: lev yes!!!!! 

no u: plsssss

kodzuken: sigh

kodzuken: fine, wait for me @ ur house

no u: ok!!!

amsunshine: :) 

amsunshine: @tooprettyforthis ur coming too right

too pretty for this: duh

y(owo)kai: count me in owo!!!!

amsunshine: :DDDDDD

* * *

**_plan: make levken a thing_ **

Shou: i’m getting them together tonight if it’s the last thing i do

Sa-chan!!!!: OWO!!!!!!! This should be fun!!!!!

Shira: seventy dollars they’re still single after this

Eita: smh

Eita: babe no

Shou: BET

* * *

Shouyou was done with their stupid pining. He turned to Eita and muttered into his ear, “I’m gonna fucking tell them.”

Before his boyfriend could react with anything more than wide eyes, he jumped down from where he had been cuddling with Eita and stalked over to where Lev was sitting with Kuguri and Kenma. The atmosphere was Not Nice. Kuguri had his legs thrown over Lev’s lap and Kenma was doing a spectacular job in trying to set his legs on fire with just his eyes. The Nohebi student seemed to be enjoying Causing Problems On Purpose. 

(Months later, Shouyou will turn to him and quietly ask if he ever had a thing for Lev, filter loosened from the alcohol and weed intake, Kuguri will smile at him, turn his gaze toward the stars and sigh into the air, “Nah, Kenma was always it for him.” They’ll turn their gaze to the couple, and watch how flustered Kenma gets when he realizes that Lev is watching him play his video game with a small grin. They’ll make eye contact and raise an imaginary toast to each other.  _ To getting the two idiots together. _ ) 

Shouyou turned to look at Kuguri with raised eyebrows. The little smirk Kuguri had grew into a massive shit eating grin. At Shouyou’s wordless command, he stood up and clapped Shouyou’s shoulder. 

“Good luck, Shou-kun, you’ll need it for these dumb assholes.” Kuguri’s grin got impossibly bigger and he sauntered off to sit by Eita and Satori, Eita was staring at him with wide unbelieving eyes. Rude. The lack of faith coming from his boyfriend was downright insulting, so in retaliation, he stuck his tongue out. Let it never be said that he isn’t mature. 

Satori on the other hand was giving him a very enthusiastic thumbs up. Grinning wildly and mouthing encouragement to him. Good man, Satori. Always up for whatever he thought up of. 

He plopped down next to Lev and stared at the sky. Not taking his eyes off the stars he started talking, low and world weary as if he was an old soldier recounting the horrors he saw in war instead of a volleyball obsessed teenager with mommy issues and utterly TIred of his Stupid Ass Pining Friends. 

“You guys are my best friends, so know that when I say this, I’m saying it with the deepest fondness and affection I have for you.” Looking at them for the first time since he sat down he stared them both down. Dead-eyed, he continued, “You guys are the most oblivious, stupid pining idiots I’ve ever seen.”

Lev immediately opened his mouth, mostly to protest. Too bad, losers like him can’t talk because they don’t have the guts to confess to the boy they’ve been pining after for about three months now. 

“Lev, if what's coming out your mouth is not a confession to Kenma about your frankly embarrassing massive crush on him, I absolutely do not want to hear it. Kenma, before you even  _ think _ about denying it, didn’t you once say that you fucked up your sleeping schedule to hang out with Lev on the roof because he looks ‘pretty with all the stars shining on him’ even though we all know that the stars don’t have enough light to do that? And all the times I had to hear about how much you want to ride him like a horse and how soft his hair is and what he must sound like during se-” He was rudely cut off by a tomato red Kenma, who then proceeded to try and kill him with his bare hands. 

Lev seemed to be catatonic, except his face matched Kenma’s in coloration. Mentally he cooed, _ they were already matching colors!  _ Fuck it, might as well tell them aloud too. He proceeded to do so, and this time Lev lunged forward. Shouyou, however, was anticipating this. He danced out of Lev’s reach and sat just out of reach from both of them. Grinning he told them, “Now that we all know that both of you are like, head over heels for each other and make the other’s heart go BWAH! You two can talk your feelings out. Ja ne!” 

Scampering back to Eita’s embrace he snuggled in. Watching as the bomb he so  _ lovingly _ dropped took effect. Eita’s weird little laugh that isn’t really a laugh but he just breathes harder than usual through his nose tickled his neck and he murmured low in Shouyo’s ear, “Forgive me for doubting your amazing and oh so powerful matchmaking ways, babe. Truly that was worthy of being seen on a screen as a scene in a soap opera.” 

Shouyou sniffed, scrunching his face up and sticking his tongue out at Eita. “Whatever, I’m a great matchmaker, we been knew. Anyway, toss to me! I brought a volleyball! Kuguri! Come with us!” 

Ignoring the cowards protest about how “It’s two in the morning” and “There’s no lights around!” and “Shou I swear to God if I get bit by something I’m suing you for emotional trauma.” 

Cowards, the lot of them. Glancing behind him, he saw Lev and Kenma cuddling. He grinned. Shirabu owed him 70 bucks. 

* * *

**_plan: make levken a thing >:D_ **

Shou: success boys!!!!

Sa-chan!!!!: :DDDD

Shira: FUC K

Shou: run me my money bitch

Shira: sigh

* * *

Kenmaaaaa <3: thanks

Shouyouuuu: ur welc

Shouyouuuu: now go ride ur new bf >:D

Kenmaaaaa <3: i take it back ur a horrible person

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: hi im playing my dad @stfu tomorrow for the semi-finals and im terrified \\(^ W ^)/

stfu: ah yes

stfu: stg if u call me dad

stfu: i’ll disown u

amsunshine: 0~0 so mean!!

aliens!! are!! real!!: finally!! Someone understands (^ E ^)

amsunshine: shut up grand king

stfu: shut the fuck up trashykawa

aliens!! are!! real!!: so mean T~T

fuck you ur stuck w me: u deserve it

* * *

shou: baaaaaaaabbbbee

eita: hey, honey bunches of oats

eita: whats up

shou: i wanna slow dance w u to joji’s dancing in the dark >:)))

eita: bet

eita: is ur dad home rn

eita: wait no we can go to the park

shou: afjhwo wait i didn’t mean rn

eita: too fucking bad 

eita: im giving u ur promise ring tonight anyway

shou: sslhw WAIT 

shou: oh my god i thought u were joking

shou: u actually bought me a promise ring?

eita: duh

eita: that way everyone knows ur taken when i graduate and i can’t visit u 

eita: >:)

shou: hfoash i fucking love uuuuuuuuu

shou: wait what about you

eita: my promise ring?

shou: yeah

eita: i have it on a chain

eita: that way i can have a reminder of u near my heart

shou: ASFIQRIHQ 

shou: you cant say shit like that and not expect me to be soft sir

eita: >:D 

shou: i’m ready 

shou: come pick me upppppp

eita: omw omw 

* * *

Shouyou was waiting for EItai to pick him up. He was excited for later, his boyfriend (who he loved very very much) was going to give him a promise ring and dance in the dark. And damn if it didn’t make him want to giggle like the girls in his school when their crushes smiled at them. His phone chriped, it was EIta, he was outside. He flailed, grabbed his jacket and yelled at his dad that he was going to go hang out with Eita. His dad told him to have fun and be safe. 

He locked the door and saw EIta sitting on the little bench swingy thingy on his balcony. His boyfriend smiled at him and grabbed his hand. (Has he mentioned that he loves this boy a lot? Because he does. A lot.) 

“Ready?” Eita asked, slinging his arm around Shouyou and leading him towards the park near his house. Shouyou nodded, too excited to respond verbally. Eita smiled again and kissed him on his cheek. 

Shouyou had a brilliant idea. “Wait, wait, wait. Let’s make a cheesy couple-y TikTok!”, he turned to EIta and began to explain the idea, “Okay, so basically we make the same video of us fucking around doing like, half assed romantic shit and just post it with that one bling effect with Joji’s song.” 

Eita, to his credit, didn’t even blink, instead he went along with his (brilliant) idea and added even more spice. Smart man, Shouyou truly had impeccable taste. “I’m going to physically sweep you off your feet and kiss you, I hope you know that.”

Shouyou grinned, “Good. make sure everyone knows you’re a married faithful man.” Eita just shook his head and wondered how he was so gone for this ( _ gorgeous, wonderful, funny, intense, caring _ ) boy. 

They danced the night away ( ~~_ living laughing _ ~~ ) loving each other, young and bright and so  _ so _ in love. Unbothered and immersed in their own world. And at the end, if they both cried when Eita gave Shouyou his promise ring, well, no one else was there to witness it. (Except the alley cats and squirrels, but shhshs they don't really count).

* * *

**_dream team full of gays_ **

amsunshine: YALL FUCKS COULD NEVER

amsunshine: *image attachment* [ _ It’s the promise ring Semi gave Hinata. Hinata has his ring on his left hand, it’s a simple silver band with a diamond encased in several obsidian stones surrounding it. _ ]

THUNDER: FUCK

THUNDER: smh now i have to make asahi get me a promise ring

THUNDER: wait actually the broom is our promise ring 

no u: ????? what????

THUNDER: funny story

THUNDER: so basically he was being blocked a lot during a game w dateko and then after we lost he was like “wHy DoNt yoU gUYs BLamE mE” like stfu, ur an angel and no one can tell me otherwise but anyway he was being a lil bitch abt some stuff so we got in an argument and i broke a broom by accident

no u: i thought this was romantic

amsunshine: senpai is too feral for soft romantic shit n asahi is actually lowkey fucking kinky as shit so

THUNDER: SHUT

THUNDER: but anyway we made up and we taped up the broom together and we had a Moment

amsunshine: and by made up he means they fucked in the closet and he had a hickey the size of jupiter on his neck for WEEKS

THUNDER: u fucking snitch

amsunshine: u deserve to be snitched on 

amsunshine: i’ve been SCARRED

THUNDER: lmao

kodzuken: @nou butter is our promise ring

no u: butter is our CHILD kenma

kodzuken: ur right

no u: so moral of the story semi and shou’s relationship is fucking cute and noya is kinky w his bf and me n knema are parents right

amsunshine: yeah

THUNDER: basically

THUNDER: anyway yall come over to the game versus seijoh tomorrow pls

kodzuken: fr sure

no u: :DDDD 

no u: if u guys lose ill never stop making fun of u

amsunshine: fuck u beanstalk

no u: >:p

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: i’m going to shit my pants

pls chill: please do not

amsunshine: i’m playing against one of my dads excuse me if im scared mom

stfu: please don’t throw up, play ur best 

amsunshine: ok dad

aliens!! are!! real!!: yahoo~~~ chibi-chan~~ good luck today~

amsunshine: thanks homewrecker

stfu: AHSHS GET REKT

aliens!! are!! real!!: T~T

kodzuken: anyway we’re going to go support you 

no u: :DDDD

prettyplayboy: currently have school but dont u stream the games 

kodzuken: yes

i await the sweet release of death: ooh cool we’ll watch 

Ur filth: Good luck on your match today Shouyou-kun. 

amsunshine: :DDDDD THANNKS!!

god has left me: u better fucking win, i want to play against u in the finals

god has left me: i’ve had enough of oikwaw’s bitchass

aliens!! are!! real!!: fuck you

y(owo)kai: shou-channnnnn i wanna block the shit outta your spikes :DDDDDD

amsunshine: :DDDD u fucking wish sa-channnn

amsunshine: im a different breed fuckface

y(owo)kai: i smell a challenge shou-channnnnn

amsunshine: congrats ur nose works!!

y(owo)kai: hmmm interesting

y(owo)kai: i’ll break your spirit on the court

amsunshine: i’d like to you see try satori-chan

too pretty for this: ok yes satori lets get ready for this Current game yeah

god has left me: oof shou used satori’s full name

god has left me: it’s gonna be intense

amsunshine: :DDDDDD

aliens!! are!! real!!: pay attention to our current game >:((((( 

aliens!! are!! real!!: anyway chibi-chan!~~~ we’re gonna beat u 

amsunshine: false

THUNDER” ITS STARTING WE HAVE TO GO WARM UPPP LETS GOGOGOOOO

THUNDER: THANKS TO EVERYONE BUT WE HAVE TO GOOOOOOO

* * *

kodzuken: ok ok its starting

no u: hmmm whos aliens again?

god has left me: oikawa is #1 

god has left me: he’s serving rn

no u: holy shit that’s terrifying!!!! 

kodzuken: hmmmmm that Not a Nice Serve

kodzuken: wait dont you have a match rn

god has left me: we have it later tody 

god has left me: oooh that spike was nice

y(owo)kai: hm

y(owo)kai: wait ait wait whats #2 saying

kodzuken: idk

y(owo)kai: afjaoha did he influence that spike into a straight???

kodzuken: kinda hot

kodzuken: but now i have to kill him for that 

y(owo)kai: felt 

no u: why dont u love me as much as you love shouyou

kodzuken: know ur fucking place bitch

kodzuken: u’ll never be shouyou

no u: T~T

no u: so mean to me 

god has left me: wait no i’ve wondered about that

god has left me: whats the thing with you and shou?

kodzuken: wdym

god has left me: like,,, if shou wasnt dating semi and u werent w lev

god has left me: would you date him?

kodzuken: no

kodzuken: it’s like, shou is the person i’d probably move in with and spend the rest of my life w but like

kodzuken: not romantically though, its like,,,, platonic life partner?? i guess is the best way to describe it

kodzuken: like,, not quite romantic but definitely closer than friends

god has left me: ohhhh so like,,, queer plantonic

kodzuken: sure

no u: yes yes, kenma and shou are platonic life partners but like,,,,,, who the FUCK is #16 and why is he Like That

kodzuken: hmm i dont know

god has left me: oh that the fucking dude 

prettyplayboy: hello all i have break and where are you guys watching the game

god has left me: *link attached* 

prettyplayboy: cool cool cool 

prettyplayboy: what the Fuck is that dude doing

kodzuken: who

prettyplayboy: the one w blonde hair the the stripes

kodzuken: thats what i wanna find out

fuck you ur stuck w me: hi fucks my match just ended whatd i miss

kodzuken: my declaration of undying love for shou

fuck you ur stuck w me: oh is tuesday already?

kodzuken: fuck you

fuck you ur stuck w me: >:D

fuck you ur stuck w me: anyway the link is the one shira sent right

god has left me: yuh

god has left me: hurry the fuck up theyre nearly finished w the first set

fuck you ur stuck w me: going going

fuck you ur stuck w me: we’re using my hone so il be talking from tsumu’s phone too -samu

god has left me: oh no

fuck you ur stuck w me: ik

fuck you ur stuck w me: hold up we need @vibing @Urfilth @tooprettyforthis @y(owo)kai @plschill

fuck you ur stuck w me: come on comeon

pls chill: im sitting w bokuto-san and he already has it pulled up

Ur filth: 

Ur filth: Who is who?

kodzuken: shou is #10 in the black and orange w the orange hair

no u: @stfu is #4 on the light blue and white and @aliens!!are!!real!! Is #1 n their captain

too pretty for this: ah fuck #16 is there again

pls chill: whos #16 

too pretty for this: he’s a really strong spiker who makes it really hard for satori to block him

y(owo)kai: i’ll fuck him up >:))))

fuck you ur stuck w me: oh shit they won the frirst set

no u: snack break!

no u: what do you want kenma? 

no u: other than apple pie?

kodzuken: a monster

no u: ur not allowed a monster bc it fucks up ur eating habits hun

kodzuken: i want a divorce and ful custody of butter

no u: nope

no u: im getting you an orange juice

kodzuken: saflnqori fine

* * *

god has left me: odroh that spik #4 does always fucks me up emotionally 

y(owo)kai: i wanna block it 

too pretty for this: you always wanna block every spike you see

y(owo)kai: yes, ur right

no u: everyone shhhh shou told me abt this boy

too pretty for this: oh?

no u: yea, he said that aside from kenma this is probably his closet friend lmao

no u: he’s like a jump floater i think??

y(owo)kai: hmm nasty business those jump floaters

no u: OH SHIT

kodzuken: that was impeccable

prettyplayboy: ugh

prettyplayboy: his MIND

prettyplayboy: damn he kinda cute too 

pls chill: im going to call the cops on you

Ur filth: Oh that is his second ace. 

Ur filth: Quite the jump floater you have there. 

no u: :DDDD

god has left me: goddamn that’s three points already

too pretty for this: cool 

kodzuken: lmao he hit 16 in the shoulder

Ur filth: As he should. That hair looks dirty and unsanitary, just because it’s bleached doesn't mean he should neglect his personal hygiene.

god has left me: ,,, right uh 

god has left me: goddamn another???

no u: iconic!!

fuck you ur stuck w me: and this is why jump floats are my favorite hehe

pls chill: his fifth one in a row, impressive

kodzuken: oooh he’s going in for another one

Ur filth: Regardless, five service aces in a row is very impressive. It was a good run. 

* * *

no u: why are deuces so frustrating

too pretty for this: ik this isn't the place but,,,

god has left me: oh no

too pretty for this: watching my boyfriend play is fucking hot

god has left me: im calling the fucking cops sir

vibing: i wanna know how the fuck he isnt tired yet

vibing: my dude has been running around the entire time 

vibing: my stamina could never

kodzuken: felt 

pls chill: TBEY WON TEH SECOND SET WHAT THE FUCK

kodzuken: sofhqwor moms yelling im scared

kodzuken: lev ur taking the fall for me

no u: D: ok

pls chill: i apologize 

pls chill: that wasnt very composed of me

prettyplayboy: my dude said “go crazy go stupid, but only for to seconds, as a treat” 

pls chill: yes

* * *

too pretty for this: AIH@#GR THEY WON THEY FUCING N HOLY SHITTT 

y(owo)kai: SDCQRYR WE”RE PLAYING THEM NOW WE”RE GOING TO PAY THEM NOWWWWW AFHORYV 

y(owo)kai: VHWERVYR @amsusnshine RIHRY( IM GOING TO BREAK UR TEMA SPRIRT BITH CSWQRV

kodzuken: COME TO NATIONALSSS SHOUYOUUUUU

no u: IHWEG WAITTTT WAITTT THEY FUK*IGN WON

prettyplayboy: I FEEL AVEGED AVENGEDDDDD I TELL YOU AVENGEDDDDDDDD

fuck you ur stuck w me: ASVIHRQH THAT WAS GRET AFQWHG

fuck you ur stuck w me: AMT HEART MY HEAS COMING OUT OF MY CHEST

pls chill: shuoyou-kun bouto-san is crying and keeps saying he’s v proud of u

pls chill: as am i

Ur filth: That was very entertaining. I wish you the best during the finals. 

vibing: HOAHIRG HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SO COOL

* * *

amsunshine: AHHHHH THAN YOU VERYONE

amsunshine: also @stfu DAD IM SO SORRY IL WIN AGAINST SHIRATORIZAWA FOR YOUUUUU

stfu: i’ll live vivaciously through you kid

amsunshine: @tooprettyforthis i’m going over there kick reon out we’re fucking tonight

no u: AFIHQG#RQ SHOUYOU WHAT 

THUNDER: MY KOUHAI NO 

THUNDER: ALSO @y(owo)kai @tooprettyforthis @godhasleftme, see u @ finals, dont hold back pls

aliens!! are!! real!!: chibi-chan~~ 

aliens!! are!! real!!: break their hearts

amsunshine: no thank you

amsunshine: i’ll just win :D

aliens!! are!! real!!: sigh

y(owo)kai: shou-channnnnnn, i’ll block every spike you try to do :333

amsunshine: :DDDD i’d like to see you try

prettyplayboy: also!!!

pretyyplayboy: haj ur a fucking dilf 

prettyplayboy: please choke me daddy

amsunshine: petition to kinkshame shima and make him deactivate his channel all in favor say aye

stfu: aye

no u: aye

too pretty for this: aye

god has left me: aye

kodzuken: aye

aliens!! are!! real!!: aye!!

prettyplayboy: DDDD: ur all so mean to little baby 

amsunshine: bitch I’M baby

amsunshine: anyway, @tooprettyforthis open the door im here already

too pretty for this: sure thing suagr plum

no u: yall NASTY

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: okok guess who got a piercing 

i await the sweet release of death: he got it while he was drunk as a skunk and forgot about it until today when he woke up

i await the sweet release of death: at 5:13pm 

amsunshine: does he also remember that he tried to sext the chat last night too?

fuck you ur stuck w me: well now i do

i await the sweet release of death: HAH 

fuck you ur stck w me: anyway 

fuck you ur stuck w me: @amsunshine when's ur next match

amsunshine: in like,,, two days i think

y(owo)kai: i for one, thin we shoul treat each other as if we have only met so after we can go out for ice cream n shock everyone

THUNDER: yes

amsunshine: :DDDD sounds like fun!!

god has left me: oh boy

* * *

  
  



	15. ushijima is just a simple farm boy pls b kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi im back after a break. took my other two ap exams, ap wrld hstry and ap spanish were wack, the graders will def hear me scream for ap spanish uh, ap wrld hstry was ok except for the fact that the prompt was SHIT, but anyway.  
> uhm in other news, i have tiny lil bruises on my arms and i hav no idea where they came from???? like????? where?? did you come from???  
> anyway feel free to rant at me in the comments section or write an essay i will gladly read it.  
> (also, did i binge watch season 3 so i could have peak commentry on this chap??? ;)))0 that a secret i'l never tell~~)  
> ((yes, the answer is yes, i most certainly fucking did, pls give me validation in the form of kudos and comments im begging u))  
> and as always, mom im sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyways here's who's who  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u  
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me  
> Iwachan: stfu  
> kuguri: vibing  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this  
> sakusa: Ur filth

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

fuck you ur stuck w me: ok so what do i do when my brother is making fun of tme for the very same accent he has 

i await the sweet release of death: it sounds stupid on you

vibing: what accent is it

fuck you ur stuck w me: kansai

vibing: HA

fuck you ur stuck w me: oh fuck you too buddy

Ur filth: You guys are from Hyogo?

i await the sweet release of death: yuh

THUNDER: smh i only know my miyagi babes

vibing: damn what about tokyo

THUNDER: yall on thin fucking ice 

THUNDER: damn churro man keeps making of the fact that we’ve never seen the skytree

vibing: AKQWRGIHR 

vibing: you’ve never seen the skytree

vibing: sad life u got there

THUNDER: SHUT

* * *

**_dream team full of gays_ **

amsunshine: i think im pregnant

no u: huh

THUNDER: youre WHAT

amsunshine: im pregenant yall

kodzuken: how

THUNDER: kouhai i thought u were nonbinary o^O

amsunshine: i mean yes,

amsunshine: but im soreeeeee and tired

kodzuken: probs bc u played a really intense game

no u: the then u FUnEDK ur bf

amsunshine: hmm mayhaps ur right

THUNDER: ok so im biting ur bf’s head off

amsunshine: noo senpai i love himmmm

THUNDER: ok fine but he’s on thin fucking ice

THUNDER: now we definitely have to win against them tho

amsunshine: hehe ok

* * *

**_plan: make levken a thing >:D_ **

Shou: hmm maybe we should change the name

Sa-chan!!!!: noooo keep it like that its fun!!!!!!

Shira: but they’re already together no?

Shou: yeah 

Shou: whatever i’ll cme up w something later

Shou: OH WAIt

**_Shou has changed the chat name “plan: make levken a thing >:D” to “three eagles and two crows” _ **

Shou: >:D

Shou: and! also!!

_a wild NyaNoya has been caught and reeled in_

Sa-chan!!!!: genius!!!!!

NyaNoya: hello my bad bitches

Sa-chan!!!!: yo yo yo so i'm thinking that for the game we pretend to be complete strangers and then after wwe go out for ice cream w everyone who can come

NyaNoya: oh i fuck w the idea hard 

Shira: why do you wanna pretend to be complete strangers

NyaNoya: shirabu,,,,,,,, the FLAVOR

NyaNoya: the SUSPENSE

NyaNoya: imagine, we’re done playing the most intense game ever, and then, just when you thought we would go on our own separate ways never to talk to each other again unless we play against each other next yr 

NyaNoya: Boom! We start hugging and laughing bc we’re actually best friends!!! >:DDDD

Shira: this is such a bad idea

NyaNoya: it is absolutely not

NyaNoya: think about it

NyaNoya: get back to me

Shira: ok fine yeah

Shira: we’ll pull a fast one on our teams

Shira: @Eita get on bitch

Shira: we’re brainstorming shit

Eita: eat shit fucker

Eita: oh hey noya-san

NyaNoya: FUCK FACE

NyaNoya: how dare you impregnate my most precious kouhai

Shou: SENPAI

Sa-chan!!!!: WHAT 

Eita: ah 

Eita: whoops

NyaNoya: this is past whoops dude, we zoomed past that zone like three whoopsies ago and now we’re very firmly in the “oh fuck” zone 

Eita: you can be the godfather?

NyaNoya: ,,,,

NyaNoya: ok

Sa-chan!!!!: >:00000

Sa-chan!!!!: i wanted to be godfather

Shou: you can be godmother

Sa-chan!!!!: sold 

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

Ur filth: Indulging in communicating on this godforsaken chat should not be something I should be doing during a state test. But alas.

Ur filth: I only have one life

Ur filth: so fuck it

THUNDER: :DDDDD thats the spirirt!!!!

amsunshine: what type of state test is it??

Ur filth: that one state test every second yr in japan takes 

THUNDER: fucking uhhhhhhh SAET

Ur filth: That would be the bitch.

amsunshine: sucks to be a second yr then i guess

amsunshine: wait senpai arent u a second year too

amsunshine: why are you responding

THUNDER: im hiding out in the restroom 

amsunshine: ah

amsunshine: do you want me to bring you something to snack on

THUNDER: yes please

amsunshine: ok

* * *

amsunshine: TODAY IS THE DAY MY GAYS

vibing: dont u mean guys

amsunshine: did i fucking stutter

vibing: u kno what

vibing: fair

y(owo)kai: ;^; 

y(owo)kai: shou-channnnnnnnn, semi’s being mean to meeeeeee

too pretty for this: this was literally your idea satori

god has left me: ThiS wAs LitErAlLy YoUr IdEa sAtoRI

god has left me: stfu annoying bitch

too pretty for this: i will fucking shove you off this damn bus fucker

god has left me: you cant, im starting setter remember

too pretty for this: 

god has left me: IM SORRYGOW4

y(owo)kai: oh my fucking god he fucking dead

y(owo)kai: oh fuck you guys u woke up goshiki >:( 

amsunshine: ???? whos that????

y(owo)kai: oh look at that i need to nap

amsunshine: smh see u soon 

y(owo)kai: :DDD

* * *

**_three eagles and two crows_ **

NyaNoya: oh btw, if you see me and shou acting really weird and like,,,, feral

NyaNoya: thats our game personalities, we’re v v passionate abt vball and we are here to win uwu

Sa-chan!!!: fair, i’ll be a bit of an asshole owo

Shira: even more than usual??

Sa-chan!!!: i’m going to punt ur lil scrawny ass across the field 

Shira: hehe

Eita: wait you mean that u arent at complete feral energy when we hang out???

Eita: either of you???

NyaNoya: basically yeah

NyaNoya: we go crazy during games

NyaNoya: shou hasn't even achieved peak feral gremlin energy as far as i can tell

Sa-chan!!!!: wha

Sa-chan!!!: what do you mean he hasn't reached full feral energy

NyaNoya: oh he’s still growing, he gonna be fucking crazy when he’s in his third yr mark my fucking words, my kouhai will prob end up snarling at someone

NyaNoya: and you know what?? 

NyaNoya: thats completely fine, we’re crows for a fucking reason uwu

Shira: im more worried abt the fact that he hasnt reached peak gremlin energy im fucking 

Shira: how do you even know he hasn't reached his peak?

NyaNoya: when the look in his eye makes you stop in ur tracks, and think of a wild animal

NyaNoya: that's when he’s peaked

Shira: ohhh, so like when ushijima-san gets fired up

NyaNoya: i would like to think so

NyaNoya: but yeah, we’re gnna be fucking wild during the game so be careful. 

Shira: okie dokie

* * *

**_disaster first yr gays_ **

kuguriii: well boys, this is it 

kuguriii: lev its between our teams my guy

leaves: :000

leaves: am v excited for it

simp ONLY for my bf: it fucking sucks that we cant go to each others games bc of the dates 

leaves: dw shou!!!! We’ll be able to stream each others game and watch them remember

simp ONLY for my bf: ik ik 

simp ONLY for my bf: ahhhh im playing against my bf today and i have to pretend to not know him which is kinda wack but also,,,,

simp ONLY for my bf: v v flavorful

kuguriii: shou-kun why do insist on making me feel single as fuck

simp ONLY for my bf: my bad 

kuguriii: u really dont feel bad tho do u

simp ONLY for my bf: nope

simp ONLY for my bf: anyway gl on ur game u guys!!!

leaves: :DDDD kugu when we win wanna go get ice cream w us

kuguriii: whos we 

kuguriii: and what makes u think u’ll win??

leaves: i mean,,,,, 

leaves: we’re nekoma

leaves: so

kuguriii: oh it is so fucking on 

leaves: :DDD

simp ONLY for my bf: WE’RE HERE EOFQWFOHRFP

* * *

Shouyou was going to vibrate out of his skin. To his left he heard Asahi-san ask Noya-senpai if he snuck a couple espresso shots before boarding the bus. He nodded to himself, _someone's in the same boat as me, good, solidarity is golden._ He was excited for this match. Partly, because he could play against his boyfriend (duh), and also, he was part of the team that would take Karasuno to nationals again. ( _He heard crows screech in the back of his mind and he could nearly taste the victory in the back of his throat._ ) So, yeah. Pretty excited.

Shouyou entered the gym along with his team and took a deep breath, the bathroom issue had already been resolved, so no need to do that. Right now he needs to warm up and sync up with Kageyama so they can make use of their freak quick. The stands begin to rumble, Shouyou looks up. 

“They’re here.” 

Shouyou doesn’t realize he’s spoken until Daichi turns to him, confused. Then he senses it too. They turn to the doors leading out to the changing rooms. Waiting, eyes gleaming, hungry and ready for an intense game, small little grins teasing the corners of their lips. ( _From the bench, Ukai can’t help but think of when there’s a murder of crows staring someone down from the lamposts. He imagines that this is what it is personified._ ) 

The doors open. ( _Crows are screeching outside of the gymnasium_.) Hardly anyone is breathing. 

Shiratorizawa has shown up. Shouyou sees Satori, Eita and Shirabu, he turns to make eye contact with Nishinoya, they grin conspiratorially at each other. The game will begin shortly. Shouyou can’t wait to win. 

* * *

When Daichi notices the exchange between Nishinoya and Hinata, his eyes narrow. His ‘my kids are being mischievous and are planning something to make me go bald’ radar is going crazy. Discreetly he glances over to Sugawara, the usual person that encourages their mischief, he seems oblivious. Momentarily appeased he focuses back to warming up with his team of headaches. Hopefully whatever his two shortest teammates are planning isn’t as bad as usual. Maybe it might even be a nice surprise? 

Hopefully. 

Hopefully. 

Probably not, though...

Goddamnit. 

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

prettyplayboy: dearly beloved we are gathered here today to watch a most interesting game

fuck you ur stuck w me: shut the fuck up and start streming the match fuckface

prettyplayboy: ugh so mean to me 

prettyplayboy: ok ok it’s ready

fuck you ur stuck w me: nice

i await the sweet release of death: just in time it’s starting rn

Ur filth: Lovely, Shou-kun is number 10, correct? 

prettyplayboy: yup yiup

Ur filth: an @THUNDER is the libero right?

i await the sweet release of death: yesh

Ur filth: Okay. And the Shiratorizawa team, I am assuming that the bright red hair is @y(owo)kai?

prettyplayboy: i think??

prettyplayboy: hold on lemme see if i can

prettyplayboy: @stfu whos who in shiratorizawa

Stfu: shira’s #10 is @/god has left me, #5 is @/y(owo)kai and #3 is @/too pretty for this

prettyplayboy: didn’t you play against them??

Ur filth: I can’t remember if I did. 

Ur filth: I probably didn’t. 

prettyplayboy: wait haj where are you?

stfu: going to watch in person

stfu: gotta support my kid 

prettyplayboy: thats fucking daddy material

stfu: im going to rip your arm off its socket

prettyplayboy: ,,that

i await the sweet release of death: dont you fucking dare

stfu: whatever you say, 

stfu: dont

prettyplayboy: thats fucking hot

stfu: i fucing hate you

fuck you ur stuck w me: SHUT UP SHUT UP ITS STARTING

Ur filth: For once I find myself agreeing with you. 

fuck you ur stuck w me: oh fuck u too

* * *

prettyplayboy: ASDHOQRG WHAT EH FUC K 

stfu: i feel personally attack by theat fucking spike

prettyplayboy: why is it SO strong myDUE

Ur filth: He is a powerhouse of a player for sure. 

prettyplayboy: why couldnt noya take that tho, he’s a really good libero???

stfu: usually spikers are right handed

prettyplayboy: WAOT

prettyplayboy: he’s left-handed???

prettyplayboy: my grandmother is screeching rn

stfu: thats why its fucking difficult to dig his spike,

stfu: usually all our opponents are right handed so the spin of the ball of a left handed spiker is in a completely different direction

prettyplayboy: damn that fucking tough as fuck

Ur filth: Is it me, or are they more tense that average?

i await the sweet release of death: i mean,,,

prettyplayboy: sfoihwgoihg th gu just iawfpasjsd iconic

Ur filth: Another one. 

prettyplayboy: damnnnnn

stfu: i hate those spie damnt

prettyplayboy: A POINT!!!!n

fuck you ur stuck w me: THE BALD ONE DID IT

i await the sweet release of death: sigh

fuck you ur stuck w me: TIMEOUT TIMEOUT TIMEOUT

pls chill: what going on

fuck you ur stuck w me: karasuno vs shiratorizawa

pls chill: ahh

pls chill: i’d stay and watch but i have my own game to get to 

pls chill: please keep us updated 

fuck you ur stuck w me: for sure for sure

Ur filth: 15 to 7

prettyplayboy: wahhhhhhhhh

* * *

prettyplayboy: aahhh ushi is serving

prettyplayboy: oh fuck you ushijima

stfu: its emotionally devastating

* * *

i await the sweet release of death: oh shit

fuck you ur stuck w me: IT WENT UP 

fuck you ur stuc w me: THAT MY BOY

Ur filth: That was impressive.

* * *

Ur filth: Shou-kun came out. 

fuck you ur stuck w me: noice.

* * *

prettyplayboy: HE GOMNA GDO IT

Ur filth: That was quite strange. Ushijima-san doesn't seem to be one to receive usually. 

prettyplayboy: wahhhhhhh first set to shiratorizawa!!!!!!

i await the sweet release of death: thats fucking tough my guy

* * *

prettyplayboy: why does shouyou look constipated lmao

fuck you ur stuck w me: he probably wants to spike a lot more. 

* * *

Ur filth: Was that a four person attack?

prettyplayboy: yes indeed

prettyplayboy: they used that against our team

stfu: oh nice

stfu: u deserve it

* * *

Ur filth: The bald one received with his face. 

prettyplayboy: NICE

* * *

prettyplayboy: NOW WAIT A DAMN FUCING MINUTE

stfu: That would be the Guess Monster.

stfu: he’s made his appearance

Ur filth: Did Shou-kun smile there?

stfu: you know what 

stfu: i think he did

fuck you ur stuck w me: what a bunch of weirdos 

* * *

prettyplayboy: DAMN

prettyplayboy: thats kinda hot ngl

stfu: jail 

prettyplayboy: wackkkkkkkkkkkkkk

fuck you ur stuck w me: TIMEOUT TIMEOUT TIMEOUT TIMEOUT

Ur filth: Are you going to do that everytime there’s a time out?

fuck you ur stuck w me: yes!

* * *

prettyplayboy: THATS WHATS FCKIG UP MT GUYYYYY

Ur filth: Very nice. Very clean.

fuck you ur stuck w me: i already hate that guy

i await the sweet release of death: who

fuck you ur stuck w me: #9 on karasuno

prettyplayboy: sucks to suck i guess.

fuck you ur stuck w me: FAKE BLOCK FAKE BLOCK FAEK BLOCK FAKE BLOCK FAKE BLOCK

Ur filth: Shut the fuck up.

* * *

prettyplayboy: BRO CMON WHY IS HE SO EXTRA FOR

Ur filth: Sigh

* * *

prettyplayboy: BLOCK BY 11 BLOCK BY 11 BLOCK BY 11 BLOCK BY 11

prettyplayboy: MY NEW FAV BLOCKER #11

Ur filth: #11 is quite the read blocker

* * *

prettyplayboy: WIFAIHWGR THE SERVER HIT IT!!!!

Ur filth: A server switch. 

Ur filth: noice.

* * *

Ur filth: The jump floater pinch server is in 

prettyplayboy: YOU GOT THIS BABY BOY

stfu: im calling the cops on your ass

stfu: FUCK

* * *

Ur fith: That play was very clean. 

prettyplayboy: wAHHAHAA THATS FUCKING RIGHT BABYYYYY

fuck you ur stuck w me: NICE

i await the sweet release of death: its like eating a nice snack

i await the sweet release of death: quite refreshing. 

fuck you ur stuck w me: samu youre fucking weird you know that right?

i await the sweet release of death: oh fuck you n ur piss colored fucking stupid ass hair

prettyplayboy: HAH

Ur filth: Aren’t you sitting next to each other?

fuck you ur stuck w me: yes

fuck you ur stuck w me: but its funner to fight online.

* * *

prettyplayboy: did yall see fucking semi’s face when shira made the dump lmapef

i await the sweet release of death: i fucking felt that face whenever tsumu does something that makes it seem like he has a brain

fuck you ur stuck w me: fuck youuuuuuuuuuu

fuck you ur stuck w me: #9 just sent a setter middle finger back to shira lalef

i await the sweet release of death: why are setters like this

fuck you ur stuck w me: fuck youuuuuuuuuu

* * *

prettyplayboy: WACK 

prettyplayboy: THEY WERE AT SET POINT SHIRATORIZAWA WHAT THE FUCK 

i await the sweet release of death: FUCK YEAHHHHHH THEY GOT IT BACK BABYYYYYYY

prettyplayboy: oh ur fired up

i await the sweet release of death: yes

fuck you ur stuck w me: TIMEOUT TIMEOUT TIMEOUT TIMEOUT TIMEOUT TIMEOUT TIMEOUT

* * *

prettyplayboy: HIWRG(WU ITS SEMI TURN TO SEERVE MY GUY

prettyplayboy: DID H LICK HIS LIPS IM SFUCKING SWOONING MY GUY THUS IS FUCIG HOT

stfu: stop thirstng over your ex’s bofriend

prettyplayboy: I CANT 

stfu: ah fuck

stfu: i forgot how good his serves were

prettyplayboy: MY DUDE WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS 

prettyplayboy: WHAT

Ur filth: Did they really make a quick from there

fuck you ur stuck w me: oh how i hate that damn #9 from karasuno

* * *

prettyplayboy: FIQGQGR #11 IS COMING BACK YESSS E:S MY FAV 

fuck you ur stuck w me: OE TOUCH ABAYYYYY

fuck you ur stuck w me: YALL SAW THAT SHO+ERVE SHOU-KUN DID 

fuck you ur stuck w me: ICONIC

Ur filth: Shou-kun is quite versatile in how quick he can spike. 

prettyplayboy: why is ushijima LIKE THAT

* * *

prettyplayboy: SHIWQG){UQRQG 

fuck you ur stuck w me: HE BLOCKED IT HE BLOCKED IT HE FUCKING DIF TU QWFHQRGHO MY BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Ur filth: THEY WOULD THE FUCKIGN SET HOLHDHIT

i await the sweet release of death: that block is a religious experience kjgdyuri

stfu: DUEIHGR DID YOU SEE FUCKING UHIJIMA’S FACE AHAHAHASAS

stfu: THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING THIS IS A BALM TO MY FUCKING SOUL AHAHAH 

stfu: SROHEGROH@GR USHIJIMA’S FACE IS FFUCKING AMAZING AFIHWEIG@R S

stfu: THATS WHATS FUCKING UP MOTHERFUCKER THATS FUCKING RIGHT

prettyplayboy: THAT WAS FUCKIGN AWSOME FIGWRFH

* * *

prettyplayboy: did,, did shira just slap himself??

Ur filth: I believe so. 

prettyplayboy: hmmm kinky

fuck you ur stuck w me: SHUT UP DONT YOU VEER THINK BEFORE YOU TALK

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: : my guy how the guck did they get a dramatic win in the second set and then lose the third one Like That

Ur filth: sigh

* * *

i await the sweet release of death: that was a bad serve

Ur filth: Quite bad.

* * *

prettyplayboy: WHAHAHFE #12 blocked the synchronized attack???

fuck you ur stuck w me: i am OFFENDED for them

i await the sweet release of death: but they got the point back 

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: yo FUCK tendou lives real quick 

i await the sweet release of death: he’s a great guy but like,,,, those blocks are disrespectful as FUCK

* * *

prettyplayboy: hey quick questio

prettyplayboy: OH SHIT THATS WHAT HE WAS FOING

fuck you ur stuck w me: iconic

i await the sweet release of death: this game is a fucking MEAL

* * *

stfu: hey

stfu: guess whos here watching the game all alone like a weirdo even though he said he wasn’t gona watch it

stfu: *image sent* [ _It’s a shaky selfie of Iwaizumi and Oikawa in regular street wear in the stands, presumably the Sendai gym where Shiratorizawa is playing against Karasuno]_

aliens!! are!! real!!: he’s lying!!!!!

stfu: right

aliens!! are!! real!!: O^0

fuck you ur stuck w me: hah loser

* * *

prettyplayboy: bruv, karasuno is on xgame mode all the time huh

i await the sweet release of death: semi-san got in

i await the sweet release of death: oooh it’s the jump floater

fuck you ur stuck w me: King Shit

fuck you ur stuck w me: KING SHIT

fuck you ur stuck w me: do it again King

i await the sweet release of death: damn ushijima does it again

Ur filth: 11 is quite intuitive. 

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: THEY HAVE A JUMP FLOATER TOO

fuck you ur stuck w me: oh fuck u shiratorizawa for aving such a deep fucking team

prettyplayboy: THAT PLAY WAS DISRESPECTFUL 

i await the sweet release of death: deuce

Ur filth: Set point.

i await the sweet release of death: deuce again

prettyplayboy: ushijima’s turn!!!

aliens!! are!! real!!: net!!!!!! 

aliens!! are!! real!!: fuck that guy

stfu: your personality is shit babe

aliens!! are!! real!!: uwu you called me babe 

fuck you ur stuck w me: yall fucking wierd

* * *

prettyplayboy: ,,,,,,

prettyplayboy: yall heard that?

aliens!! are!! real!!: the guy that screamed? 

aliens!! are!! real!!: you guys are streaming it right

fuck you ur stuck w me: yeah

aliens!! are!! real!!: well shit

stfu: we’re across from him and we still heard him

stfu: hinata came back out

Ur filth: Good, he looked ansty.

* * *

prettyplayboy: ITS SHORT

fuck you ur stuck w me: OH THAT WAS FUCKING NICE

aliens!! are!! real!!: A NICE FUCK YOU TO USHIJIMA 

aliens!! are!! real!!: FUCK YOUUUUUUU USHIJIMAAAAAAA

stfu: theyre going into their fifth set

stfu: FUCK this is nerve wracking

* * *

prettyplayboy: FINAL SET FINA SET FINAL SET FINAL SET AHHHHHHHHH

aliens!! are!! real!!: tobio-chan isnt starting hehe, fucking sucks to suck 

Ur filth: Didn’t you lose to Karasuno?

aliens!! are!! real!!: SHUT THE FUCK UP 

fuck you ur stuck w me: this slander is giving my clear skin a refreshing mask

stfu: he’s bright red btw

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: TIMEOuT TIMEOUT TIMEOUT TIMEOUT TIMEOUT TIMEOUT TIMOUT TIMOUT

fuck you ur stuck w me: SERVICE ACE BABY

aliens!! are!! real!!: FUCK THAT DUDE

aliens!! are!! real!!: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOULIKE THIS USHIJIMA

aliens!! are!! real!!: FUCK YOUUUUUUUU USHIJIMAAAAAA

aliens!! are!! real!!: FUCK YIUUUUUUU

* * *

fuck yo ur stuck w me: MY GUY CMONNNNNNNNNN

prettyplayboy: ok but,,, the fact that 11 oon karasuno is able to keep up w ushijima and them is fucking awesome

i await the sweet release of death: KING SHIT

aliens!! are!! real!!: FUCK USHIJIMA

Ur filth: What’s going on right now?

Ur filth: Everyone is crowding around #11. 

fuck you ur stuck w me: oh shit his hand is fucked up

stfu: yikes

stfu: this is gonna be harder than expected

aliens!! are!! real!!: its what they deserve uwu

fuck you ur stuck w me: shut the fuck up alien fucker

prettyplayboy: ARGHQRGH

stfu: HAH

* * *

aliens!! are!! real!: FUCK YOU AND YOUR GUESS BLOCKIG ASSHOLE

fuck you ur stuck w me: ur were literally saying fuck karasuno lives like two minutes ago

aliens!! are!! real!!: that was in the past uwu

fuck you ur stuck w me: hate it here

* * *

aliens!! are!! real!!: AHAH SENT IT INTO THE NET U BITCH

stfu: shut up shouyou is on now

prettyplayboy: GBEIEV

prettyplayboy: HE RECEIVED IT W HIS FACE

aliens!! are!! real!!: LOOK AT USHIJIMA’S FACE I LOVE IT HERE!!!!!

aliens!! are!! real!!: CHIBI-CAHN IS MY FAV

stfu: you’re a horrible person 

aliens!! are!! real!!: shhhhhhhh

* * *

aliens!! are!! real!!: nehaaf tobio-chan is back -_-

aliens!! are!! real!!: ,,,,,

aliens!! are!! real!!: that was fucking annoying

aliens!! are!! real!!: fuck tobio-chan lives

* * *

prettyplayboy: semi-san’s going up!!!!!!

fuck you ur stuck w me: wheeeee

fuck you ur stuck w me: King shit

Ur filth: Shouyou looks both happy and mad. 

prettyplayboy: QHIQRGIHQR 

prettyplayboy: MY GUY THAT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!

Ur filth: Nice.

aliens!! are!! real!!: ahadpife this is great!!!!!!! i love chibi-can!!!!!

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: jump floater boyo!!

fuck you ur stuck w me: FUCK YEAHHH BABYYYYYY

* * *

prettyplayboy: ANOTHER BABYYYY

Ur filth: Three points in a row. Very nice. 

Ur filth: I jinxed it, didn’t I?

prettyplayboy: yup

* * *

stfu: yikes, this is nasty 

stfu: oh nevermind

* * *

stfu: wait 

stfu: aw fuck

stfu: they’re at match point

prettyplayboy: oop

prettyplayboy: there it is 

prettyplayboy: 11 IS BACK YAYAYAY

Ur filth: Nice. 

* * *

aliens!! are!! real!!: hmm its their jump floater

aliens!! are!! real!!: tobio-chan~ you’re extremely annoying~~

* * *

prettyplayboy: 11 !!!!!

stfu: noice

aliens!! are!! real!!: hmm annoying

* * *

aliens!! are!! real!!: his legs should be screaming rn

aliens!! are!! real!!: as he should

stfu: #5 is changing a lot

stfu: nice

stfu: shittykawa is being a shitty person as always

aliens!! are!! real!!: uwahhhhhh dont be mean to me T~T

fuck you ur stuck w me: its what you deserve

* * *

prettyplayboy: AOHASIHQWRQ THIS IS FUCKING SHITTTT

Ur filth: Why am I stressed out about a match that isn’t mine, what the fuck.

Ur filth: FUCK

stfu: my guy this shit is nasty

aliens!! are!! real!!: i hate it here

prettyplayboy: 17 n 17!!!!

fuck you ur stuck w me: FUCK YEAHHHH 

stfu: BRO COME ONN

aliens!! are!! real!!: this behavior,,,,,

aliens!! are!! real!!: i hate it

* * *

prettyplayboy: WHAHAHAHADOHEOF

fuck you ur stuck w me: THATS FUCKING EIGHT BITCH

i await the sweet release of death: WFIHRHIR

Ur filth: Ace behavior. We love to see it.

* * *

prettyplayboy: THIS IS WHY 11 IS MY FAV

* * *

prettyplayboy: MY GUY

Ur filth: DO THIS SHIT 

fuck you ur stuck w me: DUDEEEEEEEE

stfu: DUDEEEEEEEEEE

aliens!! are!! real!!: WAHOEFHW

stfu: SYNCHRONIZED AT THIS TIME

**_several people are typing..._ **

stfu: DUDE DUD DUED DUEESDKBRGI

aliens!! are!! real!!: VOWHW$VU $RGWER}EWRN

prettyplayboy: H#RIGHWRIHWR

fuck you ur stuck w me: FAIHRIHRGRE

i await the sweet release of death: FWRIHGG

Ur filth: HEWRIHGR HOLY HIT THIS WAS FUCKING AWESOME WHT ATHE FUCK

* * *

Shouyou’s legs burned, he felt dizzy, he was hungry, he was exhausted. But.. but. They won, they won against Shiratorizawa! And they were going to Nationals! And play the Battle at the Trash Heap! With Kenma, and Lev! Before that though, there was something he needed to do. 

“Shouyou! Shouyou!” 

Shouyou turned at the sound of his name being called. Before grinning and running towards the figure he saw. “Iwa-Dad! You came!” 

Iwaizumi laughed, and spun them around. He saw Oikawa standing nearby and grinned even harder, “Grand King! You came too!” 

Seeing how Oikawa’s face twisted and his eyes reflected the conflicting emotions he was feeling, he cackled in his mind. He called over Nishinoya and the two of them began to ask them questions, “Did you see the soft block I did on Ushijima?” 

“What about the set I made with Asahi-san?” 

“Did you expect us to win?” 

“Uwahhhhhh!! We’re going to Nationals, Iwa-Dad!” 

Iwaizumi laughed at all the questions. (“Did you see that dad? Did you see what I did?” “You totally rocked, dude!”) 

* * *

Daichi sighed. Of course, Nishinoya and Hinata were friendly with Iwaizumi and Oikawa from Aoba Johsai, and _of course_ , Hinata is caling Iwaizumi dad-

Wait, what? Reverse. Rewind, roll back that scene. Hinata, his teammate, the little springy kid on Karasuno, his #10, their best decoy, is calling Aoba Johsai’s ace, dad? His eyes narrowed, this... this was not going to end well for that damn Iwaizumi. 

He walked up to Iwaizumi, smiling like he does when he shakes hands with Kuroo. “Ah! Iwaizumi-san! How are you? I wasn’t aware you were close with Hinata and Nishinoya.” 

Iwaizumi straightens up, putting Hinata down and turning to face him. Smart man, he should know how to face when answering a question. (Behind their backs, Karasuno gathers closer, eager for a showdown between two Ultimate Dads. Nishinoya and Hinata trade gremlin little grins.) He returns Daichi’s smile. 

“Sawamura-san! Good seeing you! Congratulations on your win! Shouyou and nishinoya actually have a group chat where we talk every so often and we got close.” Iwaizumi doesn’t waver, wordlessly accepting the challenge issued. Brave? Or stupid? Both probably. 

“Of course, of course! So ah, why exactly does Hinata call you dad?” Totally not jealous, he’s team dad thank you. He fucking _earned_ that title and damn if he won guard that with a jealous protectiveness. 

Iwaizumi smiled at him.

 _Fucker_. 

* * *

While Iwaizumi and Daichi were distracted, Nishinoya quickly waved down his friends from Shiratorizawa. They had moved from the gym after the awards ceremony to where the buses were parked and were waiting for their own bus to get here. Satori noticed him first and tugged the other two over. He jumped in place excitedly, motioning for Shouyou to come over, they waited for their friends to close the distance. 

Or, have Shouyou speed at him and jump into Eita’s arms. That was fine too. 

Welp, might as well join him.“Shirabu! Tendou! Great game you guys! That last set was intense!” 

The pair grinned at him, if their eyes and smiles were a bit watery it was okay. They began to talk about their favorite plays during the game. From the corner of his eye, he saw Daichi glance over and seemed to tense even more. _Ahaha, whoops?_

He turned back to Tendou and Shirabu, expression very firmly in a devil-may-care expression, “My captain is going to blow a fuse shortly. But anyway, Shirabu, like I was saying before, arson is only illegal if you get caught. However, the emotional benefits are the following: first of all, you can ease into it, so you can use smaller items first-” 

He was rudely cut off by someone’s hand, biting it had no effect, _ah, it’s Asahi_ . He tilted his head up, and eye-smiled at Asahi. Who very disrespectfully raised an eyebrow. To anyone else, it may have been a harsh expression. But to Nishinoya, it was a look that read, “ _sweetheart, please for the love of god stop talking about setting things on fire, I’m begging you_.” Ah his sweet glass-hearted ace, oh wait there’s a hand on his throat and it’s squeezing very nicely, yeah ok. He’ll stop, for a bit. 

He grinned widely against Asahi’s hand and tugged it off, leaning back into his body to introduce his boyfriend to his friends. “Ok you guys, this is Azumane Asahi, he’s my boyfriend. Asahi, this is Tendou Satori and Shirabu Kenjiro, and the guy that’s hugging Shouyou is Semi Eita. he’s Shouyou’s boyfriend.” 

“...Ah, of course. Nice to meet you.” Asahi bowed in greeting, privately wondering why he was even surprised at the act that his boyfriend was friends with the players from the school that they just played and won against. _Sigh_. 

* * *

Daichi’s hair was going to fall out. And it was all Hinata Shouyou and Nishinoya Yuu’s fault. _Nobody_ told them to go ahead and become best friends with guys from powerhouse schools, Hinata even took it a step further and began to date one of them. (He staunchly ignored the begrudging respect he felt when Hinata brought up the fact that the ash-blond pinch server had given Hinata a promise ring. At least they were serious about each other.) 

He’ll have to watch that Semi boy more closely if he thinks he can just go out with one of his youngest. (Again, he ignored the fact that the pinch server was probably older than him by a couple months. Ah, the joy of being born on December 31st.)

* * *

“Ne. ne, Sa-chan! Do you think we can go get ice cream now?” 

“Yeah! Of cour-”

“Hinata Shouyou if you do not board this bus in the next 30 seconds I’m making you receive Kageyama’s and Asahi’s jump serves after we get back to school.” 

“... Yes, Daichi-san, bye babe, bye Sa-chan, bye Shirabu!”

“Listen, Shirabu, just think about what I said, I know i made several points that make _sense_ an you know it, damni-”

“Nishinoya, _please_ , stop trying to convince people that arson has emotional benefits please, _I’m begging you. Please._ ” 

“Well, that’s my cue!” 

* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	16. you are my daAAAAaaada~~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i am experiencing a writers block yall i apologize but uhhh have some scraps and the boys will def hang out in the next chap i sWEAR  
> as always mom im sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's who's who  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u  
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me  
> Iwachan: stfu  
> kuguri: vibing  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this  
> sakusa: Ur filth

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

prettyplayboy: shou why does your boyfriend look like such an asshole

amsunshine: probably bc he is

too pretty for this: cus i am

prettyplayboy: SVKRGIHERQ

THUNDER: honesty is a big thing in our relationship

amsunshine: our????

too pretty for this: what the fuck you mean our???

THUNDER: its our bc we were all there when you officially asked out shouyou

amsunshine: wait you were

THUNDER: SHOUYOU I AM YOUR SENPAI

THUNDER: OF COURSE I WAS THERE

amsunshine: oh my god why did you follow us

too pretty for this: we went to an aquarium while there was a school activity thing going on

too pretty for this: wait whos we?

THUNDER: oh kenma lev and satori were there w me 

y(owo)kai: hehe watching semisemi and shou-chan relationship unfold gang unite

too pretty for this: why the fuck are you like this satori

amsunshine: oh my god you saw us do That

THUNDER: oh yes, we Saw All

kodzuken: it was disgustingly well thought out 

no u: kenma kept kicking me in the shins when he couldnt see what was going on

no u: i think i scars

kodzuken: shut up crybaby

amsunshine: wait but anyway terushima what made you bring up the topic in the first place :)

no u: :00 tread lightly my dude

prettyplayboy: its just,,,, semi looks like the type of guy that would spit in your face if you piss him off

y(owo)kai: oh he has

y(owo)kai: he’s also said that i’d be a really shitty prostitute 

too pretty for this: in my defense

too pretty for this: i was hungover 

god has left me: you once shoved me off the team bus

god has left me: you also called me a dirty whore

god has left me: because i woke you up for classes

too pretty for this: yeah well

too pretty for this: fuck you

god has left me: also you’ve never apologized 

god has left me: ever

too pretty for this: you don’t deserve my apologies

amsunshine: wtf eita always apologizes if he’s late to our dates or smnthng

too pretty for this: NO BABE STOP

too pretty for this: MY REPUTATION  
amsunshine: also sometimes i call him a lightly toasted marshmallow

y(owo)kai: AOQRGHORQG LIGHtLy TOASTED MARMALLOW WFIHQWRIH 

too pretty for this: sTOP THIS SLANDER

amsunshine: >:D

* * *

vibing: quick someone spell orange

fuck you ur stuck w me: the color or the fruit

vibing: holy shit

**_several people are typing..._ **

THUNDER: HOW THUE FUCK

i await the sweet release of death: wha

i await the sweet release of death: how the FUCK are we related

amsunshine: my guy 

amsunshine: eita saw ur message and he’s just,,, staring into space now

amsunshine: you broke my boyfriend

prettyplayboy: holy shit i thought i was stupid

fuck you ur stuck w me: leave me ALONE

* * *

too pretty for this: listen

too pretty for this: listen, i love my boyfriend right

too pretty for this: hes amazing and wonderful and fucking gorgeous and hes very understanding about how i am and why i do the things i do and i love him so so much right

THUNDER: its 2:19 am why are you waxing poetic about my kouhai

THUNDER: not that i dont do that but 

too pretty for this: he fucking sleep talks and the things he says haunt my dreams

THUNDER: ah

kodzuken: is he talking about the barber

too pretty for this: yes

no u: i mean,,,, hes not wrong

too pretty for this: I KNOW THATS WHY I CNAT SLEEP 

y(owo)kai: ????OWO???? 

y(owo)kai: wdym??? 

kodzuken: ok so shou sleep talk and sometimes the only thig he says is “the best barber can never receive the best haircut” 

y(owo)kai: i

y(owo)kai: 

y(owo)kai: hes not wrong but

too pretty for this: PLEAS E HE LP M E 

kodzuken: s u f f e r 

* * *

prettyplayboy: wait

prettyplayboy: if grass is wet, does that mean that it can be aroused and therefore grass is a girl

**_several people are typing…_ **

amsunshine: what the fuck 

amsunshine: what the actual genuine fuck

stfu: i’m literally going to fuck you up i swear to god

too pretty for this: what in the fuck is going on with your head 

vibing: my guy, my guy what

fuck you ur stuck w me: dude,

fuck you ur stuck w me: oh my go i thought i was bad

* * *

pls chill: bokuto-san keeps asking me what throwing it back means and im going to strangle konoha for going on tiktok 

amsunshine: sfhagowa oh noo

prettyplayboy: if you aint thick you cant throw it back satisfactorily 

fuck you ur stuck w me: aliens could never

amsunshine: yall have seen each other??

fuck you ur stuck w me: no he just gives off flat ass energy

stfu: as the guy who's dating oikaw/aliens 

stfu: you are Right

stfu: he Has No Ass

aliens!! are!! real!!: T~T

aliens!! are!! real!!: why are you bullying me iwa-chan

stfu: you mak fun of me too so its even

amsunshine: akaashi-san i apologize in advance for teaching bokuto-san the renegade

pls chill: ? 

ps chill: he doesnt know that yet?

amsunshine: yeah thats why

too pretty for this: oh my god babe i thought you didn't know it

amsunshine: me lev kenma n sa-chan all learned it last week

y(owo)kai: ;)

THUNDER: RENEGADE RENEGADE

prettyplayboy: WAIT WE SHOULD MAKE TIKTOKS TOGETHER

amsunshine: OH MY GODDDD FUCK YEAAHHH 

THUNDER: WE'RE MAKING CURSED TIKTOKS BOYSSSS

too pretty for this: oh no

vibing: wait he might be onto something there

too pretty for this: oh n o 

* * *

kodzuken: someone try and convince me that i can’t kill my bitchass captain and best friend

pls chill: are they

pls chill: are they the same person?

kodzuken: unfortunately

no u: tease him abt his crush on yaku

kodzuken: ok

prettyplayboy: just fucking,,,,, blackmail him or something

kodzuken: ooh good idea

* * *

too pretty for this: how do you make girls stop confessing to you even though you’ve told them time and time again you’re in a relationship and you wear a fucking promise ring 

too pretty for this: and also you’re like,,, the Top Asshole of Shiratorizawa for three years running

god has left me: HA

amsunshine: how against hickies is your school

too pretty for this: i mean,,,

god has left me: oh my god

god has left me: what did i do to deserve this

too pretty for this: remember when you first joined the volleyball club

god has left me: yes

too pretty for this: thats why 

amsunshine: im coming over real quick :)))

* * *

Ur filth: ive inahed too much bleach fumes

Ur filth: so this is proabyl hy i rjust remebered bu

Ur filth: i just remebered who ushijijima is

Ur filth: we had likehe a thinfg but hen we decided to edd it bc of mutial resprect towarsd each other

Ur filth: alsod heswas wass inlve w his ow nourfreind

y(owo)kai: how do you forget you had a whole ex-lover in the form of ushijima wakatoshi???? 

y(owo)kai: i am a Whole Confusion

Ur filth: i ahev no idea bute i feforgt ntil just now

amsunshine: oh my god do you need medical help

Ur filth: yes

amsunshine: omw

y(owo)kai: im coming with!!!!

* * *

prettyplayboy: is lava wet

Ur filth: 

pls chill: i guess

vibing: i mean

vibing: its a valid question

stfu: 

no u: i’ll check

kodzuken: WAHT NO

* * *

THUNDER: WAIT OH MY GOS

amsunshine: whwt ahwta

THUNDER: i completely forgot that my best friend is bisexual

vibing: how you forget you have a whole bisexual best friend sir

fuck you ur stuck w me: 

fuck you ur stuck w me: HOW

amsunshine: AFHIEFEF WAIT AIT

amsunshine: tanaka-senpai???

THUNDER: YES MY BEST FRIEND

THUNDER: MY ONE AND ONLY   
THUNDER: MY BROTHER IN ALL BUT BLOOD

THUNDER: he also has a boyfriend 

i await the sweet release of death: King Shit

amsunshine: HUH HWHO

THUNDER: ennoshita

amsunshine: oh iconic

amsunshine: wait a i thought he was like,,, in love w shimizu

THUNDER: nah, its just a thing we do w her

THUNDER: bc she a queen who Deserves Praise

i await the sweet release: Drink That Respect Women Juice 

fuck you ur stuck w me: fuck yeah

* * *

amsunshine: whats up lets hang out in like two days

amsunshine: we have a week off so we’re free for about a week 

vibing: all of us?

amsunshine: yesh

Ur filth: I knew this day would come.

amsunshine: kyoomi-san you nearly died inhaling bleach fumes and spilled about how you were ex-lovers w ushijima, i think you can ditch the proper grammar

Ur filth: Mayhaps I will. 

fuck you ur stuck w me: idk if you remember but,,, me and samu are like,,,, four hours away

amsunshine: so then get on the train at like 6 or 7 and you’ll be here by 10 or11 and we can do stupid shit w everyone dummy

i await the sweet release of death: you know what? 

i await the sweet release of death: fuck it

i await the sweet release of death: lets do this

THUNDER: quick @ everyone, shou

THUNDER: no wait ill do it 

THUNDER: @stfu @aliens!!are!!real!! @godhasleftme @y(owo)kai @nou @kodzuken @plschill @prettyplayboy @tooprettyforthis 

too pretty for this: im in the shower what

god has left me: why are you answering if youre in the shower first of all

too pretty for this: waterproof case

pls chill: hi guys 

kodzuken: lev’s w me 

aliens!! are!! real!!: hajime is asleep but i’ll tell him abt it all uWu

kodzuken: lev says the way you use the uwu face is illegal 

kodzuken: i agree 

prettyplayboy: hewwo 

y(owo)kai: !!! hewwo

god has left me: why

y(owo)kai: owo

y(owo)kai: where will we meet?

amsunshine: we can meet up in the train for us in miyagi and go to tokyo and wait for our hyogo friends (^0^)

prettyplayboy: fuck yeah babyyyy

prettyplayboy: wait we all get some type of piercing 

THUNDER: wait oh my god fuck yeah

too pretty for this: i stg if yall get a stck n poke

THUNDER: add that to the list boys

fuck you ur stuck w me: hell yeha

vibing: semi youre acting as if you wont be one of the first in line to get a stick n poke and a piercing 

Ur filth: I hope you know how unsanitary having a stick n poke.

vibing: what if we use saltine solution and alcohol w you n shou disinfect the stuff we use

Ur filth: Okay, I think that’s fair.

Ur filth: Also I hope one of you gets arrested for something stupid.

amsunshine: :DDDD

fuck you ur stuck w me: also we should do a sleepover for the week

amsunshine: BIG FUCKING BRAIN

THUNDER: someone is def getting arrested for sure 

vibing: half of us are gonna be sitting in a cell while the other alf break us out

vibing: i'm speaking it into existence 

stfu: youre jinxing us thats what youre doing

amsunshine: while we’re at it

* * *

**_private chat between Ur filth and you_ **

**you:** kyoomi-san we’re most def deep cleaning my house, it’s been two weeks since my last deep clean

 **Ur filth:** Flu shots for everyone, Shou-kun. 

**you:** oh that reminds me, natsu is due her vaccines soon. 

**you:** i have to go remind my dad 

**Ur filth:** have fun

* * *

shOUYOuu: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

shOUYOuu: natsu’s vaccines are coming up

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: yikes

shOUYOuu: not yikes sir, she’s scared of shots

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: yeah so am i 

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: shots are terrifying

shOUYOuu: you have to help her get rid her fear

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: but her fears arent unfounded kiddo 

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: ive told you the story right

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: about the nurse who basically killed the old guy that was rooming with me for my appendix surgery

shOUYOuu: oh my god dad no he was old and probably at deaths door

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: my kid

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: my pride and joy

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: my oldest child

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: you werent there to see what i saw

shOUYOuu: dad no

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: dad YES

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: she STABBED HIM WITH THE NEEDLE SHOUYOU

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: HE WOKE UP DEAD

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: SHE KILLED THE OLD MAN

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: HE RECOILED WHEN THE NEEDLE WENT IN

shOUYOuu: daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

shOUYOuu: anyway do you want me to go w you guys or will you guys be fine 

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: we’ll be fine i think

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: if it gets bad we’ll just run out and become antivaxx 

shOUYOuu: DAD NO

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: >:DDDDD haha

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: also if you spend the week in tokyo PLEASE be careful and call me every morning and night and if you get arrested ill laugh at you 

shOUYOuu: i thought you were supposed to be like,,,, dont get arrested bc you’ll be in trouble

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: thats boring

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: and also 

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: you have my dna in you and god knows what type of thing i used to do w my friends

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: have fun shouyou, be safe but also be a teenager, you’ve been forced to act too mature these past years 

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: go out and have fun kiddo 

shOUYOuu: DAD IM CRYING

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: WHAT NO STOP CRYING IM SORRY

shOUYOuu: NO IM CRYING AHPPY EARS

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: oh ok 

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: anyway what do you want for dinner

shOUYOuu: chimen ngets

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: oh goodie thats all we have 

* * *

**_dream team full of gays_ **

amsunshine: ok so maybe eating all the sugar floss eita had was a bad idea

THUNDER: kouhai

THUNDER: why

amsunshine: because i could

kodzuken: ykow what

kodzuken: thats fucking valid

no u: we only have one life, might as well eat al the sugar floss we can find

no u: world mean and tasteless

no u: sugar floss soft and yummy

THUNDER: first of all hy does eita have sugar floss 

THUNDER: second why didnt you save me some

amsunshine: look me in the eye and tell me you wouldnt have eaten it all either

THUNDER: no yeah i wouldve ate it all youre right

* * *


	17. not an update babes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is abt the current event in america so if you dont like talking about this type of topic then please exit out this story

ok so if you live in the united states or you like staying informed then you must know about the protests and riots that are going on in fairfax and hollywood 

im very sorry but also not for what i am about to say

if you support police at this moment or are against the idea of these protest and riots then please never interact with my story and account again. i am part of the latino community and i stand with my black brothers and sisters. i see you and i mourn with you and i will fight with you to the best of my abilities. 

i am also fucking sick and tired of having to mark ANOTHER name into my alarmingly long list of innocent people of color who ave been killed by police. all yall mfers who got relatives in the armed forces dont try and start shit bc it will get ugly and i do not want to be fucked with in these topics if you wanna fucking troll me and wanna try shit and i will not hesitate to fucking tear you apart in these things i do not fucking play with any of these topics. i stopped having faith in the police a long fucking time ago. 

kinda hard to think that the police are there to protect you when they hold you at gun point when youre walking home from school because they thought you fit the profile for a suspect at 13 years of age so

anyway text FLOYD to 55156 and as always ACAB 1312 babyyyyyy 

#blacklivesmatter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im still currently in writers block but i have like 300 words down so i swear that unless i join those riots i'll probs have the next chap in a day or three, mexican's honor, also for those comments i havent gotten around to answering, i see you but i've been too pressed to respond. i value you all and hold you very close to my author heart and want the best for all yall in these trying ass times


	18. wonderful week of chaos, and it's only starting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi,  
> i'm back with a chapter. please dont be mad  
> it's extra long for you guys after being away for oh, *checks calender* eight (8) days (or nine? idk time isnt real). i don't think i've ever gone this long without posting i am so sorry for this. um anyway, as promised, this is the boys hanging out for a week,  
> no one has been arrested but nuts have been kicked, hair has been dyed, and there has been tea AND tears spilled (a little, not too much :D)  
> charlie if u found my fic, please enjoy im sorry i didn't have you read this over but um, i love u and thank you for helping w the ships! :D  
> happy news! i think i'm past writers block bc i have new ideas for the next chapter! whoop whoop.  
> {also did no one tell me i've been misspelling Sakusa's first name?? i thought u guys like me :(}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, mom i'm sorry  
> here's who's who  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u  
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me  
> Iwachan: stfu  
> kuguri: vibing  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this  
> sakusa: Ur filth

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: alright miyagi babes we’re meeting up in my house my dad made us snacks for the week

THUNDER: o fuCK YEAH

too pretty for this: did he make tekka maki 

amsunshine: yup 

too pretty for this: NICE

y(owo)kai: semisemi semisemi semisemi semisemi 

too pretty for this: dont call me that

y(owo)kia: >:D

too pretty for this: come to my dorm!!!! i have that one sweater that you swear up and down looks good on you

amsunshine: wait the light blue one

too pretty for this: yes

amsunshine: oh no burn it its horrible

too pretty for this: WHAT NO

* * *

amsunshine: IWADAAAAAAD

amsunshine: @stfu

stfu: yo

amsunshine: did you get the address i sent you??

stfu: yup, me and tooru are gonna be there in about 20 minutes

amsunshine: ok come quick my dad made a lot of snacks for us to eat while we wait for tsuu and samu

stfu: sure thing kiddo 

* * *

**_private chat between you and fuck you ur stuck w me_ **

**you:** atsumu where are you guys

**fuck you ur stuck w me:** we’re on a train

**fuck you ur stuck w me:** we’re by kyoto now

**you:** oh nice, hurry up

**fuck you ur stuck me:** of course, i’ll be sure to tell the train to speed up

**you:** >:0

**fuck you ur stuck w** **me:** >:D

* * *

“All I’m saying is if Daichi-san isn’t dating Suga, who's giving him all those damn hickies? This is the second week he’s shown up all bruised up and I am curious!” Hinata’s voice rang out from the house. Hajime sighed, already knowing what the first year was talking about. Tooru snickered, but Hajime just knew the setter’s gossipy side was rearing its head and it’d only be a matter of time before he became invested in it. He also knew with a grudging acceptance that his stupid, nosy boyfriend will drag him into it.

Goddamnit why did he have to like the idiot so much?

“Pardon the intrusion!” He called out, tugging Tooru along inside. Tooru repeated his call and made a beeline for where he heard the voices coming out (ha) from. Haijime followed not so subtly staring at his boyfriend’s nonexistent ass. 

Hmm, he hasn’t bullied Tooru about that in a couple of weeks. He should, later, because right now he is seeing salmon onigiri calling his name. He snagged a piece and greeted the boys around the table. 

Shouyou was on Semi’s lap and stuffing his face with meat buns while gesticulating wildly, nearly smacking Semi in the face every three seconds. The poor bastard had a love struck look on his face so Hajime supposed he was okay with the imminent danger he was in. Tendou was across from Shouyou and nodding intently along to whatever Shouyou was trying to say. Hajime was only 57.34% sure Tendou was joking. He was frighteningly good at charades whenever they played on videochat. Nishinoya was still talking about setting things on fire to Shirabu, who’s eyes were getting worryingly gleeful.

Hajime prayed to the gods that they were stopped. 

Kinda. Not really, it’d be funny to see those two succeed. 

Tooru had sat down next to Tendou and was now asking about what he was talking about. Hajime didn’t bother listening in, knowing that later he would get his ear talked off about the whole thing. Oh the joy of living his life. 

“Hey! The gang’s all here!” Oh there’s Terushima, he was wondering where the bastard was. He gave Terushima a wave and a nod. Apparently that was all the invitation the shitheaded badly dyed hair for brains asshole needed to come over and start making his life so much more difficult. 

“Soooo, I’ve been meaning to ask you, what’s your workout routine?” Terushima, the fuck, had a sly grin on his nasty face, while he jabbed his finger into Hajime's bicep. Hajime’s instincts were screaming at him, “ _ it’s a trap, it’s a trap, it’s a trap, it’s a trap, it’s a trap _ .” 

So he just stared blankly at Terishima, “I benchpress stupid people and throw them across the field.” To everything holy, he hoped, he _prayed_ that was vague enough so Terushima’s singular brain cell couldn’t come up with something so he wouldn’t have to become a murderer. 

Of course, the gods laughed at him and called him a fool. Terushima opened his sinning goblin mouth and said, “Oh, that’s hot, can you do that to me?” Instant groans rang out while the goblins of the group laughed at his misery. 

He lunged at the fuckshit. Sadly, the idiot danced out of his reach while grinning at death’s face. 

“Ok so I made onigiri, but Natsu also helped me so this is my official statement saying that I am not responsible for any harm done to you brought by Natsu’s cooking.” Shouyou’s father walked into the room with a lunchbox in a pink wrap decorated by baby blue bunny heads, a little girl beside him. The girl, Hajime assumed to be the mentioned Natsu, narrowed her eyes at her father and poked him in the side, quite harshly if the way Hinata-san’s yelp was to be trusted. 

The girl, (Natsu?), tossed her head indignantly and huffed. Oh yeah, that was Shouyou’s little sister all right, Shouyou reacts the same way when he’s being teased. 

Speaking of Shouyou, Hajime noted he had quieted down, glancing over he realized why. Semi and Shouyou had drifted into their own little world. Whispering to each other with soft smiles, Hajime absentmindedly thought that they were probably the best couple he’s ever seen. 

“Hinata-san! Hinata-san! What is your opinion on setting things on fire?” 

Well, Hajime couldn't say he was surprised when Nishinoya finally asked Shouyou’s father the question. 

“Ah, Yuu-kun, I’ve told you to call me Tadatoshi-san, it’s fine! Besides, what’s life without a little arson, eh?” So that’s where Shouyou got his… character from. It was genetic, it seemed. Nishinoya was ecstatic, and his shriek of joy startled Shouyou and Semi into awareness. 

“Dad? Why is Noya-senpai screaming?” Shouyou looked wary, but he reached for the box in his father’s hands. Passing the box to his son, Tadotoshi-san pouted and said, “Why is it that everytime someone yells it’s my fault?” 

Shouyou showed no mercy to his father, “Because it usually is.” His father gasped and whined about traitor sons and defamation of character. The father and son began to bicker while Natsu instigated, everyone else joined in on the teasing. Hajime caught Oikawa’s eye and they smiled at each other, both thinking the same thing.  _ There’s no other place I’d rather be. _

* * *

Satori stared at the monstrosity he held in his hands. It was giving him a headache. 

He nodded to himself and turned to Shirabu. “I’m buying it.” He announced. The second year setter looked horrified. He shook his head and reached for the neon yellow tank top Satori had. “You are most certainly  _ not _ buying that thing. It’s giving me a headache, Tendou, I  _ know _ you’re going to get a headache from it too.” Shirabu sounded desperate, and he looked it too. Wide eyes and pleading hands stretched up to try and reach the offending article of clothing. 

Satori made up his mind. Shaking his head he grinned at the boy, “No, no, I’m going to buy it.” He walked towards the cashier, merrily whistling a cheery tune and ignoring the death threats being issued behind him. 

He met up with Kuguri and Sakusa near the cashier lines, greeting the two Tokyo students with a cheery wave and showing them the tank top. He watched with glee as Kuguri’s soul seemed to leave his body. Sakusa, however just hummed, Satori squinted at him, not happy with his lackluster reaction. The wing spiker explained that his cousin had the same fashion sense (none at all) and loved wearing neon color and generally looking like a highlighter. Satori cackled, and Sakusa narrowed his eyes and said in no uncertain terms that, “You are not going to be introduced to Komori, he won’t be able to keep up with your personality.” 

Satori blew a raspberry and draped himself over Sakusa, mindfully not touching any exposed skin, knowing that Sakusa got anxious about skin touching without proper disinfection. 

“That’s why you still haven't left right? Because you looooove me, right? Does this mean we’re best friends?” Sakusa glared at him, but allowed him to hang off his shoulders. They paid, the cashier looking dead inside and still somehow shocked to see three very tall boys holding an assortment of clothing that looked more at home in the hands of a blind eccentric person. 

They walked out of the little shop located in the train station in Tokyo. Satori perked up, throwing himself off of Sakusa and trotted ahead of the two aloof boys to be able to walk backwards ahead of them and speak to them. “Ohhh! This reminds me! Do you guys want to hear about the train ride here?” 

He ignored the ‘not really’s and began to regale them with a harrowing story of near death experiences and the absolute heart stopping fear of losing Shou-chan when he was behind Satori all along! He also teared up thinking of the heart-warming reunion of Semisemi and his little boyfriend. He sighed, just thinking about it made him smile again. 

His two companions looked dead-pan at each other before resigning to their fate and began to respond with hums and noises that could pass off as responses. 

Everything was fine and dandy, the sun was shining, Sakusa noted that the train station was being cleaned by the sanitation group. He was satisfied with the way they diligently scrubbed down the poles. Satori trotted ahead, talking with his whole body and dancing while he walked. He began to tell Kuguri about the time he went skinny dipping with Shirabu and Semisemi and found a leech on his leg. Sakusa was disgusted and demanded to know if they had showered after, Satori calmed him by saying they burned the clothes after they got back. 

the Itachiyama student nodded, satisfied with the method of sanitation.

It was fine, until some poor idiot soul decided to open his mouth to try and cause a problem with Satori. Satori blinked at the guy, good mood gone, disappeared, it flew off into the sky like a cloud drifting off with the sun’s rays. It flew out like his school mascot flies, quickly and majestically. He was prepared to tear into the guy’s self esteem and make him leave. Hm, he looked like a boy Shiratorizawa played against. Crazy what losing did and how it affected some people. 

So color him surprised when Kuguri stepped up beside him to look at the boy with a sneer on his face, instead of the usual uninterested blank expression. Sakusa on his other side looking at the guy like he was a black smudge on the shoji doors. He looked at the two staring at them with open wonder on his face. A warm bubbly feeling creeping up in his chest and momentarily choking him up. 

Oh how the times have changed. 

“Ne, ne. Wanna repeat that?” Oh! Shou-chan! He whipped around and saw his most precious Shou-chan look like he was ready to ruin the guy’s dreams. Oh looks, Semi was behind him too, nice. The guy looked like he was beginning to regret opening his mouth. But then he noticed Shou-chan’s height. “You? What are you going to do, pipsqueak?”

Yikes. Yikes, yikes, yikes, Satori watched as Shou-chan went from annoyed to  _ pissed _ . Yikes, one doesn’t point out a short person’s height if said person was already in a bad mood. He wondered what type of flowers the guy would like on his grave. He already had the perfect engraving.  _ Died annoying someone he shouldn't have. _ He murmured a prayer for the poor soul. Semi saw him and coughed to hide a laugh, clearly thinking the same thing. 

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

THUNDER: ehehehehehe

i await the sweet release of death: ?? sir??

THUNDER: seeing shou get pissed is so fun when it isnt u who he's mad at

fuck you ur stuck w me: wait where r yall

THUNDER: we’re waiting at the train station for u guys

fuck you ur stuck w me: :000000

fuck you ur stuck w me: wait for us we’ll be there in like right now

i await the sweet release of death: we’re pulling up into the station rn

i await the sweet release of death: where are you guys

THUNDER: by the entrance we’re still waiting for akaashi and lev and kenma too 

fuck you ur stuck w me: alrighty 

* * *

Atsumu pushed his brother out of the train, “Hurry up ‘Samu I wanna see that shit go down!” His brother huffed, but sped up, just as eager to see what was going on. 

Atsumu and Osamu got there just in time to see Hinata deliver a  _ vicious  _ kick to some guy between the legs. They both hissed, knowing full well that having strong legs conditioned for volleyball will deliver a harsh kick to any male’s junk.  _ But also _ , Atsumu thought as he and ‘Samu ran over to watch,  _ fuck yeah Shou-kun _ . He greeted everyone happily, and then he saw Him. And he felt the world slip from under his feet. 

He shrieked. “NO! NO! You can’t have the same hairstyle as me! What the  _ fuck _ , man!” He pointed at the offending boy, who had a shit-eating grin on his face. The boy bowed, “Terushima Yuuji, at your service, hot stuff.” 

Atsumu groaned, dropping his face into his hands. Distantly he heard voices greeting each other. But he was too busy mourning his original and chic hairstyle being copied by a simple whore like Terushima. No one paid attention to him.

It’s what he deserved. 

* * *

Everyone had settled down at the large hotel room they had reserved for the week. Oikawa had noticed a glint enter the chibi-chan’s eyes as he tugged on his hair and looked at himself in the mirror. If the chibi-chan was thinking what he was thinking… oh he’d throw a party. 

Lo and behold when they all settled in the suite, the chibi sat down on the lap of the pinch setter from Shiratorizawa and announced to the whole room, “What if I dyed my hair blonde?” The response was immediate. Karasuno’s libero and Tendou were positive, Oikawa silently cheered him on. 

“OH MY GOD! What if I dye my hair blonde and get a tongue piercing and dress like an e-boy”, the chibi turned to his boyfriend, smacking his arm in excitement, “BABE! This is such a good idea! We can reopen your piercings!” Chibi’s boyfriend seemed to be thinking about it, he glanced over to the large mirror lined on the side of the wall, maybe pondering how he would look with piercings again.

“Sure why not.” 

Of course there will always be one who objects.

“ _ Please don’t dye your hair on a whim oh my fuck.” _ Ah, that would be Shirabu. Party pooper. Oikawa was about to protest and tell the other setter off when he was interrupted. 

“Shirabu, you are in no place to be talking about hairstyles, look at your bangs.” Kuguri didn’t even shift from his place facing down on one of the beds, so his voice came out a bit muffled. Nekoma’s giant, Lev (at least Oikawa _thinks_ his name is Lev, but he also heard the pudding head call him Leaf so he’s a bit iffy on that.) laughed and poked the Nohebi student’s sides from where he was cuddling the pudding head, Kenma, he thought Chibi-chan called him. 

Said pudding head grumbled at the movement and snuggled further into the tall boy’s embrace, Oikawa wasn’t sure how he did it, they were already close enough that he thought they were trying to become one. But they were successful, crazy shit 

“Huh?!” Shirabu looked affonted and everyone was trying very hard not to laugh at his expression. Well, Semi didn’t even try to hide his snickering. Oikawa sat Lev bury his face in Kenma’s neck, the other boy hadn’t shifted his gaze from his console since they settled so he was pretty sure he didn’t know what was happening. 

Kuguri looked up, a tiny smirk teasing at the ends of his mouth. “You heard me, I’m not repeating myself.” 

“I’ll have you know, fucker-” 

“Ne, Shirabu, you cut them in the restroom during your first year for twenty dollars, you hypocrite.” Tendou cut off the setter gleefully, pointing at him with fingers gun from his perch on the bed headboard. He threw himself off the board and landed on Kuguri who wheezed and began to fight for his life. 

“You’re fucking heavy, my guy.” He grunted as Tendou relaxed and stretched out on Kuguri’s back. 

They ignored Shirabu’s protests of “I wanted my money damnit!” 

Oikawa clapped his hands, turning his head to avoid looking at Iwaizumi’s death glare. Before Iwaizumi decided to drag him back down he danced to where the Chibi was. “Ok!! So how about we buy that hair dye and dye your hair in the bathroom?” The boy agreed and jumped up, dragging his boyfriend along. He turned to Nishinoya and gestured for him to follow. 

“Come on senpai! We can bleach your roots and make ‘Shima and Atsumu-san bleach their hair a color that doesn’t look like pee!” Said boys began to protest but everyone agreed that it was an uncomfortable color. Osamu was the biggest supporter of this choice. 

“Wait, so who’s going and who’s gonna stay here? Because I’m staying to make sure that our food is here.” Akaashi’s voice rang out and paused everyone in their tracks. Kuguri wasted no time informing everyone he was going to stay, not even shifting from his position after accepting his fate as Tendou’s new pillow. 

Okikawa frowned thoughtfully, “Well, obviously Chibi-chan is going, and so is his boyfriend, as well and Atsumu-kun and Terushima.” 

“Add me and Nishinoya!” Tendou grinned from the doorway, Nishinoya peeking out of the door frame. 

Osamu called out, “M’not going but ya gotta to take “Tsumu an’ ‘Shima fer sure.” 

Oikawa nodded. He turned to his boyfriend and smiled brightly, “Iwa-chan! Are you going-” 

“Yes, Trashy-kawa, someone has to make sure you don’t fuck up and pick up five boxes of black hair dye.” Iwaizumi scowled as he picked up a jacket and handed it to him. Oikawa gleefully noted that it wasn’t his own but Iwaizumi’s jacket he had given him. He shot a little grin to Iwaizumi and the ace sneered at him, but Oikawa saw his ears get red, so he counted it as a win. 

Hinata clapped and he counted the heads going, “Ok! So that’s… one, two, three… Ne, Kenma! Lev! Are you coming with us?” 

Kenma looked up and shook his head before quickly looking down at his game again. Lev sent the chibi a sheepish grin, “Sorry Shouyou! But I’m really comfortable right now.” Hinata nodded easily and smiled back. 

“That’s ok! Alright so that’s… eight? Of us? Right?,” the chibi tilted his head as he counted heads again, “Oh wait! Where’s Kiyoomi-san?”

“Here, Shou-kun,” Sakusa emerged from the bathroom with wet hair and steam following him out the door, “I had to shower before anyone else.” 

Hinata smiled and nodded, “Do you want to come along with us? We’re going to buy hair dye to dye my hair and fix Atsumu-san and ‘Shima’s hair.”

The Itachiyama student paused for a second, before slowly nodding. Oikawa narrowed his eyes before snapping his fingers and pointing to Sakusa, “Hey, Sakusa-kun, were you hiding out in the restrooms to avoid us?” 

Sakusa stared back, he flicked his fringe out of his eyes and and turned to look through his bag, he pulled out a face mask and put it on, before he finally answered, “Yes.” 

Iwaizumi cackled, Kuguri, still not moving from here he was facing down on a pillow sent a thumbs up in Sakusa’s general direction and some muffled encouraging words. Oikawa huffed, more amused than offended, he had to give it to the other. Sakusa was very blunt and straight-forwarded, he liked that in a person.

“Ok! So me, Eita, Noya, Sa-chan, Kiyoomi-san, Iwa-dad, Atsumu-san, ‘Shima, and the homewrecker are going right?” Oikawa gaped at the chibi, ignoring Iwaizumi's frankly offending bark of laughter.

The little middle blocker turned to him confused before his eyes brightened and he snapped his fingers, “OH! Sorry! Ok so the alien fucker is coming with us. Anyone else?” 

Kuguri snickered alongside Lev and Kenam, Iwaizumi was still cackling. Oikawa threw himself at Iwaizumi, “Iwa-chaaaaaaaaan, they’re bullying me!!” 

Iwaizumi snorted, “You deserve it, stupid.” Despite his harsh words, he still wrapped an arm around Oikawa’s waist and kissed the side of his neck. “Come on, let’s go before I decide to leave you stranded here.”

* * *

Kenma looked up when the hotel door burst open and Shouyou and the others spilled back in. They were chattering excitedly and Shouyou looked like he had ran at a high speed for a long time. Did they run from the cops again? He checked his phone, no messages. Huh, whatever, Lev nudged at him, reminding him the next level was about to start. 

“Kenma! Wanna see help us dye my hair?” Shouyou’s voice called out to him and Kenma pondered the pros and cons. Pros: It’s Shouyou. They’re probably going to the bathroom and he can sit in the tub with Lev and still play his game. Cons: He has to get up. 

Lev saved him from thinking any harder, “I can carry you over and we can sit in the tub if you want. That way you don’t have to move as much” Kenma looked at his boyfriend from the corner of his eye. He agreed wordlessly, wondering how they were going to get up from their position of trying to become one with each other.

He didn’t expect Lev to pick him up bride-style and carry him like that to the tub. He huffed under his breath and grumbled. Lev whined back at him, “You’re just so light, lyubov moya, it’s easy to carry you like this!” 

Kenma cursed Lev’s ability to make him blush so easily. 

Kuroo once spent a week doing the most exaggerated and embarrassing things to try and make him blush and it was a no-go. But this half-russian beanstalk of a boy says two words to him and suddenly he resembles a stoplight. 

“Ne, Lev, why don’t you use kitten for Kenma? It makes sense, no? Because he acts like a cat so much.” Tendou leaned forward from his perch on atop of the toilet tank, a mischievous grin on his goblin face. Kenma glared at him, bright red, Tendou saw his reaction and grinned even wider. “Ohohoh? What’s this?” 

“Lev doesn’t call Kenma kitten in public because that what he calls him during sex.” Shouyou was a class traitor. Friendship ended with Shouyou, now Kuguri is his best friend. 

Shouyou cackled, “Kenmaaaaaa, you and Kuguri would set each other one fire two hours in and you know it.” Hm, it seems he had spoken his thoughts out loud. Well, only one way to respond it seemed. He flicked Shouyou off and stuck his tongue out. Lev offered him a handful of cereal as consolidation. 

_ Where did Lev get the cereal from. What the fuck. _

“Got it from Satori-san, he bought it when they went to go get the hair dye for Shou and them. I think he stole this one but he bought the two other boxes.” Lev explained quickly, still holding the handful of cereal out to him. He took the cereal and glanced at Tendou. Sure enough, he had a box of cereal and was eating out of it with a cup. As in, he would dip the cup into the cereal box and ‘drink’ the cereal. 

Okay. Alrighty. 

He glanced over at where Shouyou was at. Oikawa had him in an old shirt _(where the fuck did the old shirt come from, what the fuck)_ and was sectioning off his hair with butterfly clips. Nishinoya and Semi were mixing the bleach and toner, joking around and smacking each other with the empty bags, while Oikawa sniped at the both of them to put the boxes down and “actually do something damnit!”. Terushima and Atsumu were sitting against the sink cabinets, watching something on Terushima’s phone, tiktoks probably, knowing them. Iwaizumi was leaning on the doorway, scrolling through his phone, occasionally looking up to watch the progress on Shouyou’s hair.

Peeking through the door he saw Kuguri and Sakusa watching something on the television. At least, he thinks they are, they could just be staring at the wall if Kenma was to be completely honest with himself. Osamu and Akaashi were setting a volleyball to each other, except there was a bed between them and they couldn't see each other so  _ how the fuc k.  _

It wasn’t quiet, but it was peaceful. He liked these vibes. He also knew that the atmosphere wasn’t going to last long. 

He was right. And it was Shouyou’s fault.

Shouyou perked up and he twisted to face Kenma, eyes shining and mischievous. “Kenma! Pass me my phone, Tada-kun said he was gonna tell me some gossip he got from Tsukki!” He stretched out his hands and made grabby gestures at Kenma. 

Kenma reached into his sweater’s pocket and tossed Shouyou’s phone at him. Ignoring the pout his best friend aimed at him, he got up from the tub. Peering over Shouyou’s shoulder he asked him, “What did Tadashi say he wanted to tell you?” 

“That’s what I’m going to find out, Kenma- _ kun. _ ” Shouyou scrunched his face at him, so Kenma copied him. 

“Hurry up, then, I wanna see too.” 

“What nosy people I’ve surrounded myself with.” 

A gentle flick to the forehead, a yelp. “Open it, Shouyou.” 

Oikawa tried to peek over, “Can I-” 

“No.” 

Iwaizumi laughed at his boyfriend's misfortune. “Trashy-kawa you’re already nosy enough, leave them alone,” he teased, tossing his phone up and catching it over and over again. Oikawa whined at him wordlessly, pouting. 

Shouyou shrieked, and Kenma let out a little gasp. Everyone in the suite who wasn’t in the restroom came rushing in. 

“Babe! What happened?” Semi’s eyes were wide and worried, his hands roved over the old t-shirt as if to look for wounds that may magically appeared on his body. Shouyou thrust his phone in Semi’s face, who blinked and adjusted his face so he could read the screen. His eyes widened as well as he looked back at Shouyou.

“Holy shit.”

Right there on Shouyou’s screen it read: 

**_gucciguchi:_ ** ok ok tsukki told me that Kags told him he likes the two guys from seijoh

**_gucciguchi:_ ** the captain and the ace, oikawa and iwa something

Shouyou didn’t answer any questions that the group threw at him, and when he looked up, his smile was shaky at best, “Let’s just, uh, let’s just dye my hair right now yeah? I swear I’ll tell everything later.” 

They didn’t look convinced. He gave Kenma a pleading look. He sighed, “Just leave it alone, if Shouyou says he'll tell you later he’ll tell you later, and besides, it’s not like it’s life and death.” He watched the guys leave slowly, as if they didn’t quite believe him. 

Rude. 

Kehma looked over at Lev, he was still in the tub but now he was sitting upright instead of reclining, green cat eyes alert and serious. Kenma sent him a small smile as he climbed back into Lev’s embrace.

“What happened, babe?” Lev asked, peering down at him. Kenma whispered the situation into his ear. His boyfriend’s eyes widened and he murmured several russian swears under his breath. “My babushka would say that they need to have a knife fight to get all the negative energy out and then have to talk about their feelings.” 

“Lev, your grandmother wanted you to propose to me with a diamond blade knife with her on facetime the first time I met her.” 

“It was a very nice blade okay? She wants me to be happy and she likes keeping our tradition alive.”

Kenma sighed.

* * *

**_disaster first yr gays_ **

simp ONLY for my bf: ok gays here’s the tea

kugurii: h o l d o n

leaves: let us c o n s u m e the t e a 

kugurii: ok there, i had to get away from satori-san

kugurii: apparently i make a very good pillow

leaves: join the cub! :D

simp ONLY for my bf: ANYWAY yall remember the boy that had a crush on me and i "dated" shima to get him off my back?

leaves: uhuh

kugurii: when was this

leaves: i’ll show u screenshots later

kugurii: k

simp ONLY for my bf: ok so we like,, talked it out and he apologized and whatnot and now we’re like good friends and whatnot and so we started talking about crushes a couple weeks back w the other first yrs and him and this boy tsukishima are like salty buddies???

kugurii: how is that revelent

simp ONLY for my bf: it IS i sw e a r 

simp ONLY for my bf: so anyway he told him but not us but tada-kun and tsukki are childhood best friends and tsukki tells tada-kun everything and tada-kun tells me everything bc we’re best friends 5eva

leaves: but that kinda an assholey move????

simp ONLY for my bf: noo bc u see 

simp ONLY for my bf: it’s not like he hasnt told us himself bc one time we got drunk at tada-kun’s house and he basically confessed that he was crushing hard on both of them bc he said that Oikawa and i quote “was super talented and i really look up to him and he’s super popular and so charming and he smiles so easily even if the smiles are fake and hes so good with people”

simp ONLY for my bf: and w iwa-dad he said that “iwaizumi-senpai is really reliable and he’s super muscular and he handles the ball really well, and his mental fortitude is super strong even when we won against him and he’s really nice and understanding and he can hit any ball i ever set to him and he always complimented me” 

simp ONLY for my bf: so in conclusion, tobio is Gay for oikawa and iwa-dad

kugurii: i want to hear this from his mouth

simp ONLY for my bf: bet come over ear w ur eaphones

kugurii: k

kugurii:

kugurii: oh shit ur right

simp ONLY for my bf: THANK YOU

leaves: wait, doesn’t oikawa like,,,,, hate kageyama

simp ONLY for my bf: well, actually,,,

simp ONLY for my bf: oh fuck he kinda does

kugurii: enemies to friends to lovers slowburn 30k ot3

kugurii: a/b/o dynamics to add spice

leaves: OHDFHOSD NOT THE A/B/O DYNAMICS

simp ONLY for my bf: wait,,, who’d be what

kugurii: oh iwaizumi woud be the alpha for sure

kugurii: have you SEEN that guy, he O O Z E S big dick energy

kugurii: like u just KNOW he’s packin

simp ONLY for my bf: AOHASFAS STOP

leaves: so whos the beta n whos the omega

simp ONLY for my bf: tobio’s the omega, he’s got them vibes

kugurii: judging by oikawa’s vibes, he’d be the beta bc he look like he can switch a lil

leaves: wait i’d read that

simp ONLY for my bf: u guys r weird

simp ONLY for my bf: WAIT I HAVE A PLAN

simp ONLY for my bf: i’ll text kentarou real quick

leaves: WHO

kugurii: HUH

kugurii: HO DO YOU KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE WTF

simp ONLY for my bf: hehe

* * *

Shouyou: keeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnntttttttttaaaaarouuuuuuuu

Kentarouuu: hey

Kentarouuu: what do you want

Shouyou: u wanna potentially piss off oikawa and maybe make him jealous

Kentarouuu: yes

Kentarouuu: always

Kentarouuu: what do you need me to do

Shouyou: ok so there’s this boy who likes oikawa and we need to know if oikawa would be pissed if u ‘date’ him

Kentarouuu: ok first if he likes oikawa, yikes

Shouyou: iwaizumi is like,,,, dating oikawa

Kentarouuu: . 

Kentarouuu: and thats the other thing

Kentarouuu: iwaizumi-san is dating oikawa and isnt that cheating or whatever?

Shouyou: he likes both of them

Kentarouuu: oh shit

Kentarouuu: fuck it why not

Kentarouuu: if iwaizumi-san kills me i’ll thank him

Shouyou: thats my dad you’re talking about

Kentarouuu: i stand by what i said

Shouyou: and i respect that

Shouyou: anyway so u will?

Kentarouuu: if this backfires i was not involved

Shouyou: it wont backfire

Shouyou: just take him on two dates maybe u guys will bond over iwaizumi or something

Kentarouuu: curse the day i met you

Shouyou: excuse u i am a DELIGHT to be around sir

Shouyou: beside didnt u insult me and then ask me out like twenty minutes after meeting me

Kentarouuu: SHUT UP SHUT UP IM BLOCKING YOU

Shouyou: hehe

Kentarouuu: give me the dudes number i’ll text him later 

Shouyou: okie dokie

* * *

**_disaster first yr gays_ **

simp ONLY for my bf: success

leaves: aslkaf iconic

kugurii: hey qucik question how the fuck do you know all thsese people?

simp ONLY for my bf: im just a lovable person

kugurii: no ur just s goblin as satori-san

leaves: ur not wrong but he hides it better

leves: also he looks like he needs to be protected 25/8 so people just like him

simp ONLY for my bf: yeah >:D

kugurii: x to doubt

simp ONLY for my bf: HEY

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: good morning yall lets go shopping

too pretty for this: it is 7 in the morning no

amsunshine: we need t do the e-boy thing where we turn into e-boys comnnnn

prettyplayboy: i miss my shade of blonde

fuck you ur stuck w me: me too

amsunshine: no ‘tsumu ur a nice peachy blonde that look so much nicer than dehydrated pee

i await the sweet release of death: he’s right   
prettyplayboy: k but champagne blonde for me??

prettyplayboy: cmon

amsunshine: its a good look

amsunshine: also, piercings

amsunshine: SO WAKE UP EVERYBODY WE GOTTA GOOOOOOOOOOO

* * *

Sakusa Kiyoomi sometimes wondered what his life had become. Here he was in a Tokyo mall, inside a changing room staring at himself in the mirror dressed up in clothing his mother would cry to see him in. He sighed, opening the curtains, he met Shou-kun’s eyes. 

“Ta-da.”

Shou-kun clapped, “Wow, Kiyoomi-san! You look really good!” Shouyou’s boyfriend, Semi, nodded as well, giving his own compliments. Sakusa Did Not Blush at the onslaught of positive encouragement. He Did Not. 

He turned to look at himself in the mirror, a burgundy turtleneck tucked into black straight ankle length pants secured with a Gucci belt (“The belt is your statement piece!” Shouyou had said when he had presented the belt to him, where they had procured the belt he did not Want To Know.) Shou-kun had completed the look with an olive green overcoat that reached his mid-thigh. 

Terushima whistled as he walked into the dressing room, eyes appreciative as he looked Sakusa up and down. “Damn, Sakusa, you clean up nice, you ever thought about becoming a model?” 

He shook his head, “No, there's too many lights around me and not enough time to stay clean, besides, I’ve already spent most of my time working on volleyball, why would I suddenly switch careers now?” 

Terushima’s eyebrows shot to his hairline. “So you’re going pro? Damn,” The blond turned to inspect himself in another one of the mirrors, picking at a loose string from the striped sleeves emerging from under the oversized plain black t-shirt, “You have your future career planned out already, I don’t even know what classes to take for my third year.” 

The usually annoying blond let out a surprisingly self-deprecating laugh . “All of you guys have some sort of plan for after high school, it’s kind of pathetic of me to not even have  _ this _ sorted out right?” He had gestured at himself when he had said  _ this _ . Before Sakusa could begin to try and decipher what Terushima had said. Shou-kun had reached out and whacked him over the head. 

Now, as a wing spiker, Sakusa had very strong arms, though when you spike you generally rely on the speed of your arm rather than the strength of your arm, it still means that you have a generally heavier hand than most. Shou-kun, despite telling him he was a middle blocker, was a wing spiker through and through, and that meant he also had a heavy hand. So Sakusa wasn't surprised when Terushima nearly fell into the mirror after Shou-kun had hit him. 

“Oh shit! Fuck ‘Shima, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you that hard!” Shouyou babbled, getting up from his perch on Semi’s shoulders and and fluttered around Terushima worriedly. 

“Ow fuck. What were you trying to do Shouyou?” Terushima looked up and had a pained and incredulous smile on his face. Shouyou pointed at him, suddenly frowning and began to lecture him. 

“Just because some of your friends already know what they’re going to do after high school doesn’t mean you have to measure your rate of growth with them. We all have different paces that we go through. You do you, that means, if you don’t know what to do next year, start small. What are you going to do next week, the next month? Pace yourself in ways that you know you can and then before you know it you’ll be where you want to be. Don’t measure yourself up to others because you’ll make yourself burnout. So stop being stupid and just live you life day by day or however you feel most comfortable.”

Shouyou huffed and walked out the changing rooms, muttering about looking for clothes for Semi. He left behind a stunned boy and while the other two patted his back and murmured encouragement. If Terushima sniffled and had to wipe at his eyes, well, that’s between them.

Sakusa Kiyoomi sometimes wondered what his life had become, standing in clothes that, if he was being completely honest, would probably end up being stuffed in a bag and sneaked out because he and his friends were cheap motherfuckers who didn’t like paying all that money. Huh, his friends, Sakusa didn’t mind how his life was going, because he had (finally) had people he genuinely liked having around. 

“You guys! Sa-chan found a dildo in the women’s changing rooms! And it’s used!” 

“No fucking way let me see!” 

“Oh my god, make him lick it.” 

On second thought-

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also!! thank you guys for all the hits aflihaf 4.2k???? amazing yall are absolute BABES
> 
> EDIT: 6/15/20   
> good day yall i seem to have lost laptop privileges so im inna pickle and a tot uh im working as best as i can on my phone 😔✋ but it aint the same. i swear ill have chp 19 ready as soon as possible  
>  love yall


	19. ohoho, piercings n cleaning n kicking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nobody:  
> shou @ semi: my toasted marshmallow <33  
> semi: *Suffering but also In Love* 
> 
> also,,,,, hi  
> i have my laptop back and im breaking this into two parts bc im hoping and praying i dot disappear like i did heehee (pls dont be mad)  
> the gang cleans (?) n lifelong freindships are made whoop whoop
> 
> as always,, mom im sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's who's who  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u  
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me  
> Iwachan: stfu  
> kuguri: vibing  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this  
> sakusa: Ur filth
> 
> also i have summer school bc i failed english lmao, go figure  
> (in my defense, english is Technically my second language so there)

“Hinata Shouyou? Your bail has been paid, and someone is here to pick you up.” 

Shouyou looked up to see an officer standing next to Eita, looking passive. Ah, he’s going to be made fun of for being caught, the injustice. He stood up when the officer unlocked the cell door and beckoned him to the hallway. 

He filled out some paperwork and the front desk returned his bag of belongings. Eita grabbed his bags and gently pulled him to the exit. Shouyou side-eyed him, already he saw the beginning of a grin tugging at his horrible, mean nasty boyfriend. But Eita stayed quiet, except to direct him to a car parked near the building. 

“You rented a car?” 

Eita grinned at him, opening his door so he could get in. “Nope, I stole it.” 

Shouyou shrieked as a voice whispered in his ear, “Fucking loser.” 

Lev’s horrible face popped out and grinned all squinty eyes and kitty cat satisfaction like his soul didn’t just leave his body. He peered around his seat and saw Kenma playing on his game. He reached out and tapped Kenma three times on his thigh. The second year tapped him back three times before registering his actions and blinking up at Shouyou. 

He smiled his little smile at Shouyou before returning his attention to his game. Shouyou flicked Lev’s forehead and turned back around in his seat, sending a bright grin to his boyfriend and asking him what had happened after he was arrested. 

Eita snorted at his actions, starting up the (stolen but shssshssh no one cares) car while he began to recount the events from last night, “So after you were driven away the guy was arrested too and Nishinoya started to tear into the dude’s friends and shit was crazy, babe. Like, Nishinoya was ready to  _ bite _ into their arms. He had to be restrained, Shou. It was crazy. Shirabu and Tendou were laughing and egging him on.” 

Eita let out a little laugh, probably still remembering that moment. Lev was frantically nodding and chipping in little details, like how Kenma had put his game away and had been looking for the guys’ car so he could slam his screwdriver into the paint job. “And! Nishinoya asked to borrow one of my knives but his hand was trembling, and the number one thing my babushka says is that you can’t have a shaky hand when handling knives so I ended up slashing the tires and breaking the windows while he set the car on fire with Shirabu.” 

Shouyou grinned, glad that Nishinoya had finally found someone to share his arsonist ideals with, also faintly embarrassed that his friends had gone so far in their outrage over his arrest. 

“Eita-san, you didn’t tell Shouyou what you did!” Lev stuck his head through the front seats and grinned like a fat cat who got a bowlful of cream and managed to snag a canary too. Shouyou leaned over to Eita, who had let go of his hand to rub at the back of his neck and look away, ears and cheeks dusting a soft pink. Shouyou smiled mischievously, poking his boyfriend in the side and begging to know what he did. 

Eita gave in, turning back to him to press a kiss to his temple and murmured, “Ah, I uh, broke their noses and uh, actually made them piss their pants.” 

Shouyou cackled, delighted in the fact that Eita finally got to live that particular fantasy. Eita grinned at him, pressing another kiss on his lips. Lev made a gagging noise behind them, without turning around Shouyou smacked his forehead. Lev yelped, and Kenma kicked him in the shin, (softly, because Kenma is a big softy for his beanstalk of a boyfriend), for interrupting his game. 

"Oh and Sakusa was very grateful for your help. He was the one who got the bail money ready in like, six hours. S'kinda scary how quick he was able to get the money," Eita scrunched his nose in thought, leaning his head onto the headrest and then jerking the car harshly to one side as they leaned too close to the opposite side of the freeway, Shouyou turned wide-eyed to look at him, Eita gave him a devil-may-care grin, "I told you I got my license revoked right? So technically I shouldn't be driving." 

Shouyou groaned loudly. "You're all horrible influences."

"Shouyou, you're the one who turned two of us into potheads, and you have also ran from cops more times than I can count." 

“Kenmaaaaaaa! Don’t spread lies about me like that!” Shouyou whined, burying his face into the collar of his definitely-not-stolen-from-Eita sweater. Kenma shrugged, attention not moving from his game. 

"It's true."

"No, it's not!"

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes." 

"No- Oh shit! Eita, the breaks-!"

* * *

Shouyou had known that Kiyoomi-san was grateful for the intervention the night before. After all, you don’t just whip up bail money so quickly. He didn’t know the extent until he got out the (stolen) car and he had a body slam into him and hug him. Shouyou blinked, arms wrapping around the person’s body automatically. 

_ Oh,  _ he thought absent-mindedly,  _ it’s Kiyoomi-san.  _ He registered that the body he was hugging was trembling and the whispered thanks spilling from the other’s mouth after a couple seconds. He blinked again,  _ Why is Kiyoomi-san thanking me?  _

He quietly voiced his thoughts to the other boy. Kiyoomi-san chuckled wetly, subtly wiping his eyes and giving Shouyou a small smile. 

“You know how anxious I get about strangers touching me, and the guy last night was basically groping me. Shouyou-kun, you didn’t even  _ hesitate _ to move.” Kiyoomi-san sounded slightly shocked at the end. Shouyou wondered how many times he had felt uncomfortable and couldn’t do anything about it without looking or sounding like an asshole. 

Too many times, probably. 

Shouyou gave Kiyoomi-san a bright grin, “Don’t worry, Kiyoomi-san! I’ll help you out any time you feel uncomfortable from now on! After all, we’ll Best Friends For Ever!” 

Kiyoomi-san laughed a little, “Alright, Shouyou-kun, we’ll be best friends forever.” 

Shouyou whooped, bouncing over to the rest of his friends, tugging Kiyoomi-san along with him. 

Mission: make life-long friends with Sakusa Kiyoomi: accomplished. 

  
  


* * *

**disaster first yr gays**

simp ONLY for my bf: ok u gays we need to go Gossip 

leaves: oo abt what 

simp ONLY for my bf: kentarou took kags onna a date and he just sent me a selfie, 

simp ONLY for my bf: also kags knows what we’re doing and he’s ok w it bc he doesn't actually think it’ll work but ik it will

leaves: :00000 

kugurii: we Gossip on ur bed and make sure iwazumi n oikawa hear us or?

simp ONLY for my bf: yeas

simp ONLY for my bf: wait we need snacks 

leaves: i’ll get them 

simp ONLY for my bf: no wait

simp ONLY for my bf: sa-chan said he wanted to go buy more cereal, just tell him what snack we want

leaves: okei dokei 

kugurii: lev what the fuck was that 

leaves: >:D

* * *

Shouyou caught the snacks Lev had tossed at him, he shouted out his thanks and collapsed on the bed. Eita wheezed under his weight, grumbling unintelligible curses before wrapping his arms around Shouyou’s waist and settling back into a doze. Shouyou patted his boyfriend's arms and gestured for his friends to hurry up so they could start gossiping. 

Kuguri meandered over, plopping himself on the bed and snagging a bag of chips. Ripping it open he stuffed a handful of chips into his mouth. Shouyou made a disgusted face at him, “You're gonna choke like that Kug’ri.” 

Kuguri grinned at him, “So be it, if it is the way of my death, who am I to say no to the course of nature?” 

Lev bounced up to the bed, catching the end phrase of Kuguri’s statement, “Kuguri, you’re a morbid bitch, you know the right?” 

The Nohebi student shrugged, stretching and accidentally kicking a sleeping Atsumu in the head. Atsumu grunted and rolled over, crushing his brother, who sleepily pushed him off their shared bed. The blond twin squawked when he hit the floor and grumpily trudged over to where Akaashi and Nishinoya were watching videos. Kuguri shrugged and murmured his apologies. The twin waved it off. 

Shouyou smacked Kuguri and Lev impatiently. “Pay attention to my gossip- WAIT! Oh my god Kentarou sent me a selfie! And Tobio is smiling in it!”

Lev and Kuguri finally sat up and crowded around Shouyou to see the photo and they tittered like a bunch of schoolgirls gossiping… which… they were… technically. 

After seeing the photo, Lev was in awe.  “Oh wow he can actually smile.” 

“Who?” 

The trio turned toward the voice, startled. Oikawa was standing in the doorway, slipping off his shoes one handed as Iwaizumi took the bags from Oikawa’s hands. Iwaizumi repeated his boyfriend’s question. Shouyou glanced at Lev and Kuguri, silently asking if he should show them. Kuguri shrugged, but he had a mischievous twinkle in his eye, Lev didn't even try to hide his enthusiasm as he nodded happily. 

Shouyou sent a nervous grin at Iwaizumi as he beckoned both boys to come closer. As they approached Kentarou sent him another photo. This time he had his arm thrown around Kageyama and had texted him, saying, “ _might fuck around and keep him, lol_ ”. Shouyou, being the type of person he was, showed the third years both pictures. 

He also had the pleasure of watching Oikawa’s face go through the five stages of grief in less than three seconds. Oikawa forced a smile and cheerfully exclaimed, “Oh wow! Tobio-chan has a date!” 

Iwaizumi had quietly asked Shouyou if Kentarou and Kageyama were on a date, Shouyou hesitated and hemmed and hawed, “Uh, yeah? He and Tobio are, uh, at the park near Karasuno. Kenatrou asked me for his number because he said he looked cute or something and now they're on a date?” 

Iwaizumi’s aura had darkened considerably and Atsumu had perked up at the scene. He untangled himself from Akaashi and flounced over, “I can  _ feel  _ the emotional unrest over here. Tell me all the sordid details, please and thank you.” 

Shouyou turned to the blonde setter and repeated the whole situation while Lev sprinkled in some minor details. 

Atsumu’s smirk widened into a grin, “Can I see the pictures?” Shouyou showed him the photos, a gleeful glint entered his eyes. He wolf whistled, “Daaaamn, which one is Tobio? Because if he’s the black-haired boy, I might have to fight the blondie for ‘im.” 

Shouyou’s mouth fell open, but before he could even think of something to say, Iwaizumi smacked Atsumu in the back of the head. 

“Calm down, you horn dog,” he had growled, looking truly pissed off, “He’s spoken for already.” 

Atsumu hummed. “Really? By who? Blondie with the resting bitch face there? ‘Cause lemme tell ya, they lookin’ real close there, bud.” 

Lev and Kuguri ooh-ed and Shouyou saw Akaashi open a bag of caramel popcorn to share with Nishinoya as they watched the back and forth between Iwaizumi and Atsumu. Osamu watched his twin agitate the third year ace with the same interest you would watch a hyena give birth. He saw Kenma aim his phone at the arguing trio, probably to send it to the groupchat so Satori and Shirabu, who weren't there, wouldn't be lost when they returned from shopping (stealing food). 

Shouyou turned to look at Eita, his boyfriend sent him a slightly incredulous grin and mouthed, “ _ He’s lost his fucking mind.”  _

Shouyou laughed a little, bending to press a kiss to his boyfriend's lips and leaned back to watch the shitshow, stealing Lev’s chips and hoping that Atsumu left this altercation with his life and limbs intact. 

* * *

**_Iwa-daaad:_ ** shouyou

**_Shouuu:_ ** yuuuuuuh

**_Shouuu:_ ** i mean yeah?

**_iwa-daaad:_ ** is kageyama really on a date with kyoutani?

**_iwa-daaad:_ ** is he serious about taking him out on dates or?

**_Shouuu:_ ** uh uh 

**_Shouuu:_ ** sorta???? He said they were gonna feel each other out and see where how far they’d go 

**_Shouuu:_ ** why?

**_iwa-daaad:_ ** tooru doesn't like talking about because he still feels guilty but he has romantic feelings for kageyama

**_iwa-daaad:_ ** and so do i,

**_iwa-daaad:_ ** it’s kinda weird weird to some people when i mention that me and tooru both like someone but itd even weirder when i mention who it is to our friends 

**_Shouuu:_ ** not really??

**_Shou:_ ** i mean u guys know you both like him so why dont you tell him? And why does oikawa feel guilty???

**_iwa-daaad:_ ** tooru was jealous that kageyama was considered a genius but the thing was that kageyama looked up to him and tooru knew that so he was,, like,, confused, but the coach never really did anything about it and that was fucked and i still stand by that. 

**_iwa-daaad:_ ** so shit escalated and i always made sure to be there so i could calm tooru down and keep kageyama from isolating himself completely but then tooru tried to punch kageyama one time in middle school and i don't think he ever recovered from that 

**_iwa-daaad:_ ** so now he just pretends like he doesn’t like kageyama because he’s like,, scared?? i guess?

**_Shou:_ ** :0000

**_Shou:_ ** oh wow thats a lot to unpack there

* * *

**_disaster first yr gays_ **

simp ONLY for my bf: FKHIHFD YALLLL

simp ONLY for my bf: I WAS FICKIGN AEH FAIHWDFKS

kugurii: bout what

leaves: ??????

simp ONLY for my bf: OK OK OK SO 

simp ONLY for my bf: yall rmemebre the shitshow between iwa-dad n tsumu right

leaves: ye

kugurii: yeah it only happened like three hours ago

simp ONLY for my bf: ok so iwa texted me like rgt now and tld me that they BOTH like kags but that oikawa Had Issues abt some stuff and now he’s like,,,, Scared to pursue Kags bc of Reasons

leaves: all im saying is,,, 

leaves: let them fight it out w some knives and then have them talk at their feelings! Its a gr8 idea

kugurii: no????? Absolutely No???

leaves: >:(((((

simp ONLY for my bf: idk man

simp ONLY for my bf: OOOOOOO WAIt

simp ONLY for my bf: we can have them play a match for vball

simp ONLY for my bf: wait no

kugurii: i dont thing thats a good idea 

simp ONLY for my bf: thing

leaves: thing

kugurii: stfu

leaves: >:D

kugurii: WAIT

kugurii: we can have kags get “hurt” and then they take care of him 

leaves: well sure but,,,, no

kugurii: u want them to fight w knives u dont have a say in this

leaves: im being insulted

leaves: i won't stand for this slander

simp ONLY for my bf: so then sit down?? 

leaves: im gong to physically fight you 

simp ONLY for my bf: >:D

simp ONLY for my bf: anyway we cant injure kags bc he needs to b healthy so he can set to me and also we’re going to nationals so like,,,,,, we HAVE to be in tiptop shape mfers

leaves: damn thats right

kugurii: mbn to be going to nationals :(

leaves: IM SORRY

kugurii: nah its fine, i have next yr to beat u >:)

leaves: lol u wish

leaves: ANYWAY what r we gonna do bout the whole kagsiwaoi thing

kugurii: im sorry the what

leaves: kageyama/iwaizumi/oikawa lmao

kugurii: ok so never say that again

leaves: >:0

simp ONLY for my bf: ok so we have no eads as to how to make the trio happen

kugurii: no

leaves: nope

simp ONLY for my bf: sigh

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: hello all i think we should get piercing

too pretty for this: babe why

amsunshine: why not

THUNDER: compelling argument kouhai,,,

THUNDER: i'm down 

Ur filth: how clean is it

amsunshine: ik a guy whos down to give us piercings for half off 

amsunshine: he’s p strict abt the cleanliness too

Ur filth: where

amsunshine: hes in miyagi 

amsunshine: we can head over there tomorrow @ 5am and have some time left over to dick around before coming back 

kodzuken: um

amsunshine: lev's gonna carry u anyway u lazy binch

kodzuken: first of all, ur right but still

kodzuken: second of all, fuck u

amsunshine: hehe

i await the sweet release of death: can we go by the bullet trains,

i await the sweet release of death: i always wanted to go on the bullet train

fuck you ur stuck w me: me toooooo

amsunshine: lol sure

no u: ur uncle the piercer??? 

kodzuken: how much does each piercing cost 

amsunshine: usually around 15700 yen

amsunshine: @nou no its a different guy

kodzuken: yikes

too pretty for this: babe

too pretty for this: shou, honey, love of my life

too pretty for this: the reason i breathe, my moon and my stars

too pretty for this: im broke as fuck

kodzuken: ^^

no u: oh i f e l t that on a spiritual level

amsunshine: dw!!!! its half off bc ik this guy so its only like 7800 yen

amsunshine: and also i can pay for some of yall

i await the sweet release of death: me n tsumu r good on the yen 

i await the sweet release of death: also we’ve been wanting to get piercings for a while

kodzuken: fuck it why not

pls chill: i have some piercings already but it’ll be fun to get some w friends

amsunshine: OH MY GOD MOM IASMD AFAF 

pls chill: ????

amsunshine: u consider us friends???? IM SOFT flsahf

pls chill: yes??? u guys are my friends

prettyplayboy: uwu 

pls chill: uwu

amsunshine: FHAGHRGH uwu

* * *

Ur filth: why do i smell something burning

too pretty for tis: OHS HIT SATORI AND SHIRBAU ARE IN THE KITCHEN DFASFS

amsunshine: BABE WHY

* * *

y(owo)kai: if u didnt want us in the kitchen why’d u leave us alone unsupervised for longer than tenty minutes

god has left me: u KNOW how we are 

too pretty for this: well damn bitch sorry 

god has left me: smh 

amsunshine: wait so are you guys in?

god has left me: for what?

y(owo)kai: OWO??

amsunshine: the group n me wanna go to miyagi to get piercings

god has left me: oo sure

y(owo)kai: ohoho okie dokie

amsunshine: :DDDD

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: BULLET TRAIN BULLET TRAIN BULLET TRAIN 

i await the sweet release of death: whoop whoop

i await the sweet release of death: how long are we gonna be on the train for? @amsunshine

amsunshine: uhhhh like 40-ish minuets and then we get on another train to go near the shop and then we just walk like 10ish minutes

i await the sweet release of death: noice

Ur filth: how crowded are these trains exactly 

amsunshine: if we leave real early like @ 5 or 6 we avoid the morning rush and probably get to be the first people in the trains w barely any crowds methinks

Ur filth: thats fine 

amsunshine: :DDDD 

amsunshine: @nou

no u: yuh

amsunshine: ur in charge of kenma 

no u: sigh ik ik 

THUNDER: hehe

pls chill: nishinoya you will be with me for the entire ride

THUNDER: fuck 

stfu: hey stupid bitch @aliens!!are!!real!! 

aliens!! are!! real!!: DD: IWACHAN SO MEAN 

stfu: yeah whatever 

stfu: we’re buying stuff while we’re there too 

aliens!! are!! real!!: ??? what for???

stfu: u know

aliens!! are!! real!!: oh

y(owo)kai: OWO???? WHAT THIS

y(owo)kai: i love gossip

stfu: no

y(owo)kai: ~^~

* * *

Shouyou waved at the man behind the counter. “Haru-san! How are you?” 

“Hey Hinata-kun! Long time no see. What brings you to this area?” Haru-san was a cheerful older man, heavily tattooed and with a stocky build. He had been working and running the small tattoo and piercing shop for as long as Shouyou could remember. Shouyou had once wondered if Haru-san had been a yakuza member, but he had discarded that thought almost instantly, but it didn't matter to him here in the present. 

“I’m here with some friends to get piercings.” Shouyou beamed at Haru-san, the man blinked as he registered the group of boys that followed Shouyou into the little shop. His eyes widened when he realized that most of them had at least 6 inches on Shouyou. 

“I see, well, no time like the present, huh?” Haru-san inspected each of them, jumping right into business with a clap of his hands, “ Alright, do you guys know what type of piercings you want? Facial, or on the body?” 

Eita volunteered first, “I have a couple piercings that closed on their own so I was kinda hoping to get them done again?” 

Haru-san nodded in satisfaction, handing Shouyou’s boyfriend a marker and motioning him to sit on the nearby chair, “Of course, of course. Do you mind marking them down for me? There's a mirror by the little table there so you mark them. Just mark the ones you want to get done for now. That’s a fine lad.” As he spoke he began rifling through cabinets to find the single use needles he used to pierce. 

Finding what he needed he scooted over to where Eita was sitting in his little wheeled chair, he snapped on some black gloves and began to sanitise the needle and used some disinfectant wipes of Eita’s face, as he prepared his materials he began to make conversations with the boys. He asked them where they were raised and how they met Shouyou. 

When informed, he laughed with his whole chest and spoke with twinkling eyes.  "Aye, this boy is very social and bold." 

His hands were steady as he pierced where Eita had indicated. 

Finishing up with Eita he gave him some last minute instructions, “Don't sleep on that side and don’t take them out for at least 6 weeks, okay? I used a needle so the healing process shouldn’t take too long but disinfect the area daily and use a saline solution. Take care to dab at the area instead of wiping, ya hear, young man?” 

Eita nodded, playing with the snake bites before Shouyou jabbed him in the side, “Don’t play with them so soon, you’re going to irritate it!” 

The boys crowded around Eita to see what piercings he got, Atsumu crowed excitedly, “Hey Terushima bet you won't get a dick piercing!” 

Shouyou saw Iwaizumi put his head in his hands while Akaashi patted his back and he had to stifle a laugh. Terushima rose to the bait, and shot back, “I’ll do it if you do.” 

The two stared at each other for a long time, before Atsumu shook his head, “No, you’re fucking crazy if you think I’m letting a needle near my peepee.” 

The group exploded into laughter, Terushima nodded sagely, “Wise choice, man, me neither.” 

Shouyou perked up, “Haru-san, me next! Me next!” He plopped down on the chair and told the man he wanted an industrial bar, then he looked down at the needle and beckoned Haru-san over, quietly asking if he could pierce something else as well. Whispering what procedure he wanted, Haru-san looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “You sure about that Hinata-kun?” 

Shouyou nodded determinedly. Haru-san hummed as he went back behind the counter to look through some more cabinets. Nishinoya sent a questioning look in Shouyou direction, but the decoy refused to comment more than a little grin. 

They all held their breath when Haru-san slipped the needle into Shouyou’s ear. 

“Ack, how does that not hurt you?,” Nishinoya kissed his teeth, hands on his knees as he tried to get a better angle to watch how the industrial bar was inserted into Shouyou’s ear. Shouyou’s eyes found his, and the boy shrugged. “It doesn’t really hurt, senpai, it just feels like a prick.” 

Haru-san laughed, finishing up with the industrial and telling Shouyou to move to rest against the back of the chair as he explained, “What Hinata-kun here has is an extremely high pain tolerance. So he can probably get really painful tattoos done and not even break a sweat. He’s been blessed, this one.” 

Everyone was shocked when Haru-san took the needle and pierced Shouyou’s nape, several people shouting and Lev nearly fainted at the sight of a large sharp object inside flesh. Kenma’s eyes were wide and he leaned forward. 

“I want that too.” 

Lev whined. 

* * *

“So you’re telling me you got your nipples pierced?” 

Akaashi looked vaguely uncomfortable with all the attention, granted everyone was staring at his naked chest, but it was still a bit overwhelming to the usually quiet boy. “It didn’t really hurt as much as I thought it would.” 

“AKAASHI!! That's so badass!” Atsumu had stars in his eyes. Osamu snickered at the look on his brother’s face, “Careful ‘Tsumu, you’re fangirling a bit too much. Next thing you know you’ll wanna be making a shrine to Akaashi-kun.” 

Akaashi’s eyes widened, and he let his hands drop and smoothed his shirt down while he turned to Atsumu, “Please don’t.” He pleaded.

Sadly, his request went unheard. Atsumu turned to Nishinoya and Tendou. The two looked at him with conspiratorial grins. They hurried into a corner to plot whatever it was they would plot. 

Akaashi and Sakusa shared an exasperated look, Sakusa raised his hand sanitiser in lieu of a glass of champagne.  _ Oh wait,  _ Akaashi thought, as he moved to look for his bag.

He offered two glass cups to Sakusa, who bemusedly took them and wiped them clean. Akaashi nodded in thanks as he pulled out a rosé wine bottle. At Sakusa’s raised eyebrow he explained, “Sometimes you just need a good wine to get through the day. Though at this point I might be considered an alcoholic because of how much wine I drink on a day to day basis.” Sakusa laughed, and offered his glass for wine, Akaashi obliged and they sat together and watched trashy reality tv while Atsumu, Nishinoya and Tendou planned a shrine to Akaashi. 

(Not that Akaashi was aware of this. If he had been informed, he would have downed the bottle all by himself.) 

* * *

**_private chat between Ur filth and you_ **

**you:** hey hey hey Kiyoomi-san

**you:** i havent cleaned my house in like,,,, three weeks, and since we’re in miyagi for now 

**you:** whaddaya say we clean my house and then clean everywhere else we cann find

**Ur filth:** We go to shiratorizawa after we finish deep cleaning your house 

**Ur filth:** I want to see how clean those dorms are

**you:** >:DDDDD

**you** : hell yeha

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: hello all

amsunshine: i have decided to bond even further w my best friend 7eva 

kodzuken: who

Ur filth: Me

kodzuken: ah

amsunshine: kenma ur my platonic life partner <3

kodzuken: <3

too pretty for this: i am: Suspicious

amsunshine: dw abt it babe

amsunshine: you’ll be fine

too pretty for this: x to doubt

amsunshine: -_-

amsunshine: ur mean babe

too pretty for this: i mean i'm not reigning asshole in shiratorizawa for nothing

god has left me: ok mr. "i would die for my beautiful amazing wonderful boyfriend" 

too pretty for this: SHUT 

amsunshine: hehe

* * *

shOUYOuu: DDAAAAADDAD

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: YEHAYEYHAYEAH

shOUYOuu: how opposed are you to me coming w my friends back home for some stuffs

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: . 

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: did you get arrested

shOUYOuu: ,,,, 

shOUYOuu: ,,,yes

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: ok sure

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: wait why

shOUYOuu: :)

you are my dad~ youre my dad!! Boogie Woogie Woogie: SHOUYOU

* * *

tadatoshi-san: what does shouyou have in mind

fave son in law: i wish i knew

fave son in law: but he hasn't stopped giggling since he texted you and im Worried

tadatoshi-san: wait fuck

tadatoshi-san: ok so if me and natsu aren't there its because i just remembered that i promised natsu i would take her out to eat ice cream and play in the park and my daughter has a lot of energy which sadly will last her a long time so we won’t be back until shouyou and yall are gone

tadatoshi-san: im so sorry to inform you like this

fave son in law: sir

fave son in law: wdym u suddenly remembered

tadatoshi-san: :)

* * *

eita: hey babe

shou: yea

eita: ur dad said that he suddenly remembered he’s taking natsu out for ice cream today 

shou: coward

eita: ?????????

shou: dw abt it my toasted marshmallow 

shou: i’ll tell him to leave the door open and to have snacks before he leaves 

eita: should i be worried

shou: :)

eita: also pls stop w the toasted marshmallow

eita: satori is making fun of me 

shou: is he reading over ur shoulder again?

eita: yes

shou: >:0

shou: sa-channnn!! stop making fun of my toasted marshmallow!!!!!

eita: babe

eita: ur horrible

shou: ily

eita: sigh

eita: ilyt 

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

THUNDER: wait 

THUNDER: wait fuck 

THUNDER: aw shit

y(owo)kai: OWO????

y(owo)kai: whats wrong

THUNDER: ik why shouyou n sakusa-san r so happy

y(owo)kai: share w the class

THUNDER: they’re gonna clean

god has left me: 

god has left me: what

too pretty for this: AW FUCK

too pretty for this: well boys

too pretty for this: its been a pleasure knowing yall

i await the sweet release of death: whats wrong

THUNDER: shouyou is really crazy abt cleaning and he is Scary when he cleans

THUNDER: n if he and sakusa-san r good friends than i can only imagine how sakusa-san is too

fuck you ur stuck w me: maybe its not that bad?

* * *

Atsumu trembled from his hiding spot in the cabinets. He spied Nishinoya scuttling under the table and motioned him over to hide with him. Once the libero squeezed inside with him, Atsumu sent him an apologetic smile, “Yer right, this is really bad.” 

The other second year glared at him, snapping his weird wolf teeth at him. (The ones that had left a scar on Tendou’s arm. What unimanged power they had.) Atsumu tried to act like he didn’t scoot back but by the smirk and the gleam in Nishinoya’s eyes, he was unsuccessful. “Of course this is bad. Shouyou is  _ terrifying _ when he deep cleans.” 

Then they heard someone’s footsteps in the kitchen, coming closer to the cabinets. Where they were hiding. 

They looked at each other in terror, fearing they had been caught, with no shame they huddled together and wrapped their arms around each other. 

“S’been an honor knowing ya, Nishinoya,” Atsumu whispered. “M’glad to have met ya an’ all the other guys. Sorry it had to end this way.” 

“Call me Yuu, Atsumu,” Nishinoya responded, trembling ever so slightly. Atsumu couldn't fault him, he was shaking too. “We’re going to die anyways. Might as well die using each other’s first names right?” 

“Right.” 

The steps drew closer, they heard Shouyou humming as he cleaned the cupboards, opening and closing them. They held their breaths, Nishi- Yuu whimpered slightly, Atsumu covered his mouth with his hands. Atsumu closed his eyes and prayed for a quick death. 

“Oh, Shou-kun, I already went through those cabinets.” It was Sakusa. Atsumu felt his heart soar, they would not die today. 

“Oh! Alright then. So all we have to do now is scrub the genkan, beat the bedsheets and wax the kitchen floors right?” 

“Yes. Don’t forget tomorrow we’ll be going to Shiratorizawa and cleaning the dorms there as well.” 

They heard Shouyou hum as he closed the cabinet doors, not daring to move until they couldn't hear his footsteps. Yuu peaked out through the sliver they had left open. 

“Coast is clear,” he whispered cautiously as he slowly crept out of the cabinet. Atsumu waited until Yuu’s entire body was out before he ventured out as well. They sat on the ground, not sure if their legs would be steady enough to hold them. Atsumu stared Yuu in the eye. Suddenly they were snickering, the adrenaline coursing through their veins at the thought of narrowly escaping a cleaning death. 

Atsumu threw a hand over Yuu’s shoulder and told him, “We should probably try and escape before the two find us.” 

Yuu nodded, “I think I saw an ice cream shop a couple houses down. Wanna go hide over there for a bit while they finish?” 

Atsumu nodded happily. They sneaked out through a window just in case Shouyou and Sakusa decided to scrub the genkan first. 

* * *

**_miracle boy n his boys <3_ **

satori <3: my loves, my dears, my heartbeats

satori: life is not daijoubu

gosh!!!: oh no whats going on

Waka-chan <3: Satori, are you okay?

Waka-chan <3: Also, please change my name back to Wakatoshi, please. I can’t figure out how to change it back. 

satori: but wakatoshiiiiiiiiii

satori: it's cute >:(

satori: right tsutomu?

gosh!!!: uh

gosh!!!: uh

gosh!!!: yeah its kinda cute

satori: see??? tsutomu thinks its cute nd so do i >:(((((

satori: keep ittt pls pls pls pls

Waka-chan <3: If you two like it that much then it's fine.

satori: :DDDDDDDD

gosh!!!: anyway um satori

satori: whats up baby boy

gosh!!!: SATORI PLEASE

satori: ;)

satori: whats up

gosh!!!: whyd u text us in the first place

satori: my love my darling

satori: my baby boy

satori: can i not text my wonderful lovely boyfriends when i want?

Waka-chan <3: Satori, he looks like a tomato.

Waka-chan: *sent an image* [ _It's Goshiki sitting in Ushijima's dormbed with a thick volleyball patterened blanket wrapped around himself. His face is bright red and he's staring at his phone._ ]

satori: dare i say it

satori: BABY BOY

Waka-chan: Yes.

gosh!!!: STOP IM AFHAAS

Waka-chan: Tsutomu, you're incredibly adorable. It is only natural that we express our fondness for you.

gosh!!!: AHKSAH

satori: uwu

satori: anyway wakatoshi we're coming to shiratorizawa tomorrow w shou-chan and he is in a rampage and he's cleaning so we may not survive

Waka-chan: Hinata Shouyou?

satori: the very one

satori: he's also w sakusa n they're gonna clean our dorms apparently

Waka-chan: ah shit

gosh!!!: wakatoshi!!!!

satori: :0000 

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: i would marry namjoon in a heartbeat if he asked me

kodzuken: nah jimin is where its at

amsunshine: ok but consider,,, namjoon

kodzuken: hmm yeah i can see where youre coming from 

too pretty for this: .

no u: kenma,,,,,,,zolotse,,, ur killing me

kodzuken: what?

no u: ur killing ur boyfriend

kodzuken: oh no what a disaster

god has left me: semi said: *stares in japanese e-boy boyfriend* 

amsunshine: babe im sorry but,,, its namjoon

too pretty for this: no actually i get it 

too pretty for this: but still

too pretty for this: ,, cmon honey bunches

amsunshine: im sorry i still love you the most

too pretty for this: sweetheart dont even get me started

* * *

Daichi woke up to an incessant buzzing and Kuroo smacking him repeatedly, he grunted and shoved the other boy off. Unperturbed, Kuroo rolled over and snuggled into Yaku. Smiling slightly, Daichi reached over and smacked him on the head, just for shits and giggles. 

His phone buzzed again. Daichi frowned and turned on his phone, immediately hissing and squinting his eyes as he lowered the screen brightness from ear searing to tolerable. Still blinking out the disorientation, he checked the time: 2:37 AM. 

What the fuck. His phone buzzed again, the caller screen showing that it was Hinata. What in the gods’ names was Hinata doing awake at this time? Maybe he needed something? Should he really answer? He groaned out loud at having to answer his phone at ass o’clock. Did he really have to answer? Couldn’t he just fake sleep and mute the calls? 

He accepted the call. 

“Hello?” 

“Daichi-san! Guys shut up, I’m trying to make sure he’s okay!” Hinata’s side of the call was loud and noisy, he could feel the energy just emitting from his screen. 

Who was he with? Hinata did not sound sleepy at all. Daichi vaguely remembers Hinata mentioning that he was going to Tokyo to spend the week with his friends. 

He also remembers that Nishinoya was going to Tokyo as well. 

“Hey Hinata? Is Nishinoya with you?” 

“Huh? Oh yeah! He’s right here! ACK!”

Daichi sat up when Hinata wheezed. He called out to Hinata but the only noises coming from his first year teammates' side was a bunch of rustling and occasionally a squawk or a yell would ring out. His shifting around the bed woke Kuroo up, his boyfriend squinted at him as he slowly sat up. And because Kuroo was a bastard he leaned over and proceeded to try and wake Yaku, Daichi shook his head at his idiot boyfriend. 

“He’s gonna kill you for waking him up at 2 in the morning, you know.”

“Daichi-san? Who are you talking to?” Oh fuck, it was Nishinoya. Why was Nishinoya on the phone?

Increasingly worried, he asked, “Nishinoya? You’re awake too? And with Hinata?”

Oh gods why?

Nishinya laughed, “Yup! I’m here with Shouyou and a couple other friends, and we agreed to spend the week together in Tokyo before Nationals. Anyway, who were you talking to?” 

Daishi sighed, wondering how he could get out of the questioning, he leaned back into the wall as he watched Kuroo try and wake Yaku up in increasingly ridiculous ways. Yaku was not waking up and Daichi commended his partner's stubborn hold over his sleep. “Oh, I’m hosting a sleepover with a couple of friends.” 

Kuroo looked up and grinned at him, mouthing ‘friends?’ teasingly and reached over and gripped his thigh while nipping his neck. He pulled back and whispered, “Didn’t know friends did that to friends.” 

Daichi blushed, in revenge he tugged on Kuroo’s hair, hard. Kuroo leaned back and flopped on Yaku, effectively waking him up. Yaku grunted, shoving Kuroo entirely off the bed and onto the floor. Kuroo whined loudly, saying that he “ _ didn’t deserve this type of cruel treatment from his loving boyfriends _ ”. Yaku shushed him, he slipped back into the covers and snuggled into Daichi’s side. 

“Was that Kuroo-san?” Yaku’s head shot up and he whipped his head so hard to stare at Daichi’s phone, his neck cracked, Daichi winced at the noise. And then cringed even harder when he finally recognized the voice. 

It was the half-russian boy from Nekoma, Haiba Lev. Oh gods, Haiba was with Hinata and Nishinoya. He picked his phone again and asked, “Uh, no. Can you pass me to Hinata?” 

Lev agreed happily, and then he heard him loudly whisper, “I totally heard Kuroo-san there, I swear!” 

Daichi sighed, he reached up and rubbed his nose bridge tiredly. Yaku patted his knee comfortingly, Daichi smiled at him. 

“Yeah, Daichi-san?” Hinata sounded like he just fought and lost against a bulldozer. Gods almighty, why was this kid one of his strongest players but also one of his most reckless? He sighed even harder, “Who are you with right now, Hinata?” 

Hinata hemmed and hawed, “Ah, well, uh, you see, I’m, uh, I’m with a couple of friends?” 

He made eye contact with Kuroo, who had laid his head on the bed but made no move to actually get on the bed. “Uh-huh I got that, care to tell me who exactly?” 

Hinata giggled, a nervous habit that usually got him out of trouble with both him and Sugawara. He couldn’t help it, the kid had a pair of puppy-dog eyes that could probably help him get away with murder. 

Already he could feel the small trinkle of annoyance lessen and get cut off, he mentally groaned, already finding himself repeating the words he usually says that signify that Hinata is the favorite child in Karasuno, “It’s fine, Hinata, just be careful doing whatever you’re doing okay?” 

“Yeah! Sure! Wait! Daichi-san is it true you’re dating Kuroo-san and Kuroo-san is dating Yaku-san and you three are, like dating, but you and Yaku-san aren’t dating, but you like each other like me and Kenma like each other but Kuroo is dating both of you?” 

Daichi choked on his breath, alarming Yaku who began to thump him on his back, Kuroo had thrown half his body forward, one arm braced on the mattress and the other reaching out to him, concern wrinkling his brows and tensing his body. Daichi waved off their concern, secretly touched at their reactions. 

Oh gods, there was a lot to unpack in that statement Hinata just said, it truly said something that he was able to understand and decipher what Hinata said in under three seconds. Talent, truly. 

He cleared his throat and stammered his reply, “Um, uh, well, I-, uh, yeah? But uh, who told you that?” 

“Kenma did!” Hinata chirped, Daichi heard a voice distantly call, “ _ Shouyou you fucking snitch.”  _ Followed by a round of laughter and more unseen chaos. He slumped against the wall and sighed so hard he swore he felt his soul leave his body. 

“Goodnight Hinata.”

“Night Captain! Oh! And tell Kuroo-san I’m coming for his ass and making sure he is grateful for you!” 

“...Good _ night _ Hinata.” 

Staring at the phone in his hands he informed his partners about the situation, “Hinata just asked me if I was dating Kuroo”, he broke off and looked at Kuroo right in the eye, “He’s also very protective of me, for some reason, and I have no doubt he will attempt to take your life for trying to date me. So good luck.” 

Kuroo laughed his stupid hyena laugh, but it died off when he registered Daichi’s expression of grave acceptance. He blinked and slowly felt a ball of nervousness form in his stomach, “W-what do you mean?” 

Daichi only shook his head and smiled slightly (ominously). He settled back into bed and beckoned Kuroo to lay down. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure he won't hurt you too much” 

“What do you mean too much? Daichi? Daichi!”

* * *

_**disaster first yr gays** _

simp ONLY for my bf: wait oh shit yall

leaves: what what happened

simp ONLY for my bf: kags just texted me that suga-senpai asked him out

kugurii: WAHT

leaves: HUH

kugurii: SCREENSHOTS RIGHT NOW

simp ONLY for my bf: LOOK 

simp ONLY for my bf: *image sent* [ _It's a screenshot of Kageyama's and Hinata's conversation. Kageyama tells Hinata that Sugawara has asked him out. The setter tells Hinata that he accepted.. Hinata asked about the Seijoh pair and his feelings towards them. Kageyama avoids the question, but instead sends a Tiktok._ ] 

leaves: OH SHIT

simp ONLY for my bf: WHAT DO I DO

simp ONLY for my bf: DO I TELL IWA-DAD N OIKAWA??? DO I TELL KAGS THAT THEY LIKE HIM BACK??? IM SO FKAKFH

kugurii: no dont do anything

kugurii: we can't influence them like that 

kugurii: just as him if he's really sure about it

leaves: DDDDD: 

leaves: but what if he ends up really liking sugawara-san a lot n they end up being permanent???

kugurii: ,,,,,

kugurii: fuc k

kugurii: no just

kugurii: let it run it's course

simp ONLY for my bf: theyre gonna freak out guri 

kugurii: ik ik

simp ONLY for my bf: fuckkkkk

kugurii: lets just hope this works out in the end

leaves: DDDD:

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nobody:  
> absolutely nobody:  
> me, the author: *comes back after like,,, two weeks and pulls That* heehee
> 
> feel free to yell at me in the comment section. :)  
> also pt. 2: 5.4K hits???? amazing show stopping incredible never been done before breathtaking i love you all thank you so much for this opportunity i am so honored and humbled that yall like this uwu


	20. tattoos and needles and contacts and departures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi  
> i have a chapter  
> i finally know why these past few chapter have been so hard to get out  
> i have to characterize and make the boys interact outside of the chat and shits is hard man  
> anyway enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always,, mom im sorry  
> here's who's who  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u  
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me  
> Iwachan: stfu  
> kuguri: vibing  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this  
> sakusa: Ur filth

When Reon Ohira first read Tendou’s ominous text to the volleyball group chat he had brushed it off as another one of the red-haired middle blocker’s weird pranks. However, ten minutes after Tendou had texted the group chat, Semi and Shirabu had individually sent him text messages in five minutes of each other. 

Which they didn’t do. 

More concerning was the contents the messages had. All three boys had sent something along the lines of, _“Please prepare yourself to clean and be scarred from it.”_

Usually Semi would grudgingly go along with Tendou’s schemes but then let him know what Tendou would be doing. And Shirabu just didn’t go along with Tendou’s pranks. So this was very Suspicious to the third year. 

His phone chirped again.

 **_Tendou:_ ** _reon,,,,,, life is NOT daijoubu_

 **_Tendou:_ ** _i want the life i had before all this_

Reon sighed, fingers flying across his keyboard to try and calm down his eccentric friend. Of course, it didn't work. 

**_Tendou:_ ** _i will NOT be okay reon how insensitive of you >:(((((( _

**_Tendou:_ ** _im going to die from the bleach fumes_

 **_Reon:_ ** _wait you guys are cleaning?_

 **_Tendou:_ ** _YES shou n sakusa are gonna deep clean the dorms for Reasons idk_

Reon smiled excitedly, deep cleaning sounded like a great destresser. Oh he was so in. 

**_Reon:_ ** _count me in then_

* * *

Tendou stared at his phone in horror. “This can’t be happening,” he whispered, attracting the attention of the people around him. Shirabu looked at him, face pale and wary. 

“What happened?” 

Instead of answering verbally, the middle blocker showed the setter his screen. Shirabu’s face paled even more and he sucked in a deep breath. “Oh god,” he whispered. He looked around, before hissing at Semi to come closer. Once the boy had gotten closer, Shirabu gestured for Tendou to show Semi his phone. He was confused at first, but after he read the conversation, his face began to pale, and he robotically turned to the others and delivered news of their fate. 

Further away the group of thirteen watched their two friends converse like they weren't n planning to send everyone around them into a cleaning-induced coma or worse, death. 

  
  


* * *

Reon stood outside of the entrance of Shiratorizawa, waiting for the group. He spotted a pair of boys that looked familiar. Upon closer inspection he noted that one of them was Hinata Shouyou, the short first year whose team had beaten his during the finals for the deciding team to Nationals.

The other teen was Sakusa Kiyoomi, Ushijima’s… friend? (There was a rumor that Ushijima had a boyfriend in second year, but the quiet teen never confirmed any relationship.) 

When both boys realized that there was someone waiting for them at the entrance, Reon lifted a hand in greeting. He cheerfully greeted them and promptly asked if they needed help cleaning, Hinata-san agreed happily. 

“The more the merrier!” He stated. Then he shot a poisonous look behind him, aiming it at the group that had been lagging behind them. Said group squeaked as one and hid behind a bush, it was a comical sight. “There are certain people who don’t like cleaning, for some reason.” 

Reon smiled good-naturedly, “Come on in, I have cleaning products in my dorm that we can use.” He abruptly looked at his teammates, “Maybe we can convince the rest of them to clean as well.” 

Hinata stared at him, before smiling even brighter than before, “You’re a fun person, Reon-san, I’m sure we’ll get along.” 

Sakusa had a small smile as he gestured for Reon to lead the way. 

Everyone else shuddered as they felt an unholy pact form between the three. 

Life is not daijoubu. 

* * *

It wasn’t often that Wakatoshi was unnerved. He didn’t have much to be unnerved by. What he didn’t like was things he didn’t understand, or things that made him uncertain. 

This, though, this unnerved him. 

Hinata Shouyou was staring at him with a hard look in his eyes, different from the one he had on the court during their match. The look Hinata had during their match was one of determination and a thirst for victory. 

This look screamed danger and demanded obedience. Wakatoshi took the broom and dustpan. The look disappeared, Wakatosi firmly told himself he didn’t relax because he was _not_ tense in the first place. 

“The entire dorm room?” He asked quietly. Hinata nodded happily, “And when you finish come find me so I can show you how to properly mop the floor, okay?” Wakatoshi nodded in acceptance, telling himself that he was agreeing because he _wanted_ to clean, not because he was _scared._ Hinata walked off to bark more orders to Semi and another tall silver haired boy. 

He stared at the broom and dustpan in his hands. Satori shot him a pitying look, “He’s terrifying, isn’t he?” 

“Tendou, stop talking and start cleaning.” Reon had That Smile on his face, his eyes closed and he had a gentle smile on his face, his aura however, gave off warning energy, _Clean the damn floor or so gods help me._

Tendou whimpered. 

Wakatoshi Did Not Feel a shiver down his spine. 

* * *

“Hayato, what are you doing?” 

Yamagato Hayato liked to think he was a nice person. He was part of one of the strongest teams in Miyagi. His captain was well-known in Japan for being part of Japan’s under-19 team. He was helpful towards his kouhais, making sure they were happy and ready for anything that their coach threw at them. Sure he smoked a little weed, but who can blame him? Volleyball was an intense sport and sometimes he just needed to unwind a bit. 

Even now he was looking after his kouhais, helping them escape through a backdoor in the dorms. Except he got caught by Reon, luckily, the last of the younger boys had gotten through. One of them, their reserve libero, Kai-kun, was holding the door for him, his face resembling a deer caught in the headlights at the voice of their vice-captain. Hayato shook his head slightly, hissing for Kai-kun to leave. Kai-kun lingered but a whisper-yelled “GO!” seemed to do the trick, the boy scampered off. 

Hayato closed the door and turned to face his fellow third year with the graveness of a man waking to the gallows. He smiled nervously, gulping inaudibly and wiping his suddenly sweaty hands on his jeans. 

“H-hey Reon, uh, what’s up?” He did _not_ start trembling, _he Did Not._

Reon smiled at him wrapping an arm around his shoulders and Hayato tried not to think about how it felt like a death sentence. Reon led him towards the dorms that were being clean. “Where were you headed towards, Hayato? You weren’t trying to get out of cleaning your dorm room right?” 

Hayato laughed nervously, “Nah, that’s, uh, that’s= I wasn’t gonna do that. Just- just needed some air, you know?” 

Reon kept smiling, “We have air in here, stupid.” 

Hayato whimpered. 

* * *

Tendou Satori stared at the wall blankly. What was the meaning of life? Why was he put on this earth? To suffer? To live in fear? To live knowing that there will be change and pain and there is nothing he can do about that? What had mankind done for itself? Truy what has been his deciding factor for the deities to choose his soul to live in this certain timeline where all his friends and family are what he knows? 

Had he been born a girl in America his life would be extremely different, never knowing the childhood pains he had gone through, he would have had completely different worries and concerns and insecurities. He most definitely would not be suffering at the hands of the Tyrant Trio. 

Life was not daijoubu. 

Even now the Tyrant Trio sat calmly laughing and bonding as if they had not just caused everyone they had interacted with today with trauma with the unspeakable acts they had committed. Satori would like a fucking refn on his life. 

Tendou Satori leaned back and let himself fall to the ground, he closed his eyes. 

Perhaps the gods would be kind and give him a gentle and quick death. 

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

y(owo)kai: owo h-h-hewoo???

god has left me: oh no

prettyplayboy: h-h-hewoo!! 

god has left me: on no theres two of them now. 

amsunshine: pls,,,, stop with the owo talk …… im begging you

y(owo)kai: lmao

y(owo)kai: anyway i have an announcement to make

amsunshine: do u want everyone here or

y(owo)kai: nah we’ll b going back to tokyo in a bit no

amsunshine: yeshir

y(owo)kai: u can tell them ater 

y(owo)kai: anyway after careful evaluation i Have Decided to Announce that i Love Wakatoshi and Tsutomu and im dating both of them

amsunshine: *pretends to be shocked* 

god has left me: wow what a surprise

god has left me: i never saw this coming

god has left me: it's not like we've never seen goshiki covered in hickies and you guys coming out of his room and like you didn’t know that we still support and appreciate your dumb goblin ass

y(owo)kai: no idea what ur talking about uwu

too pretty for this: you do know we dont think any less of you right?

too pretty for this: youre still ur friend dumbass

too pretty for this: and the volleyball team’s older brother so

y(owo)kai: AFUOASFH THAT RIGHT IM BEST OLDER BROTHR

amsunshine: :0 u are!!!!!!

* * *

y(owo)kai: who wants tattoo

y(owo)kai: i saw a tattoo shop nearby

fuck you ur stuck w me: hey shouyou do you know a tattoo artist 

amsunshine: fuck you

amsunshine: i do 

amsunshine: as a matter of fact 

amsunshine: sa-chan u mean the one in the little alleyway by the ice cream shop

y(owo)kai: … yes

y(owo)kai: u know the person working there?

amsunshine: i do

THUNDER: iconic

god has left me: do we have to 

Ur filth: do it pussy 

THUNDER: AAFHASDDSA HOLD ON SAKUSA-SAN??? DID I READ THAT RIGHT

god has left me: why am i getting attacked

too pretty for this: im here for attacking shirabu, he needs the humbling

god has left me: oh fuck youuuu

y(owo)kai: so yeah?

Ur filth: ill tell the miya twins

Ur filth: actually ill tell osamu the blond one wants to call me omiomi and ill kill him if he tries to actually call me that

amsunshine: you two are going to be like eita and shirbau i can tell

THUNDER: yeah i can see that dynamic

god has left me: wdym

THUNDER: you pretend to hate each other but at most you just get annoyed w their actions a bit but you’ll Fight anyone who tries to talk shit about them that you know Will Hurt their feelings

too pretty for this: i do not do that

Ur filth: i most certainly will not be doing that to the blond rat

amsunshine: 1) adlhaflhasflh KIYOOMI-SAN PLEASE

amsunshine: 2) babe u fucking liar last time i had to hold you down when you realized that shirabu was wearing concealer to hide the fact that he had a black eye

too pretty for this: shut

god has left me: ah shit u realized?

too pretty for this: your concealer was three shades too fucking light stupid ass bitch

god has left me: fuck the fuck off

y(owo)kai: so are we getting tattoos or not?

amsunshine: yea

god has left me: yeah

too pretty for this: m

y(owo)kai: COOL

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: Ow ow ow

i await the sweet release of death: u stupid bitch

fuck you ur stuck w me: Fuck you osamu

pls chill: im scared to ask

pls chill: what happened

i await the sweet release of death: SOMEONE called sakusa omiomi and sakusa sprayed his face w disinfectant and now he’s blind

pls chill: tragic

pls chill: wait how is he typing

i await the sweet release of death: he’s using voice to text atm

pls chill: oh so he has brain cells?

i await the sweet release of death: HA

* * *

**_midget:_ **ok but when have i EVER put put u in an unsafe situation

 **_salt bitch:_ **literally every time you force me and yamaguchi and the king to hang out with you and nishinoya-san bitch

 **_midget:_ **so then u should be used to it??? 

**_midget:_ **pussy ass bitch???

 **_salt bitch:_ **i literally fucking hate you so much hinata

 **_midget:_ **awwww tsukiiiiiii <3 <3 <3 <3

 **_midget:_ **its okay to say that im your second favorite person in the whole wide world <3 <3 <3 <3

 **_salt bitch:_ **i’ll punt you

 **_salt bitch:_ **what do you want why did you text me in the first place anyway

 **_midget:_ **i dyed my hair blonde so we can be twins

 **_salt bitch:_ **no you fucking didnt

 **_midget:_ **:)

 _ **midget:** _dont u wanna have another older brother

 _ **salt bitch:**_ i hate you so much

* * *

“GET THE PHONE READY! Is the phone ready!?” 

“YES THE PHONE IS READY AND SET!” 

Terushima’s phone was propped up on a chair as several people ran around trying to prepare everything. Sakusa sat in a chair, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. A fate shared by Semi and Akaashi. All three boys were dressed to the nines, Sakusa in all black, bold and daring, Akaashi was in all muted greens and beiges, soft and elegant. Semi had to be wrestled into all black as well, teasing and care-free. 

Hinata whistled at his boyfriend, “Those exposed shoulders are doing sinful things to me, Eita!” He pretended to swoon, collapsing into Nishinoya’s arms while the other laughed. Terushima cackled, gleeful that Sakusa had gone along with his idea and most certainly not letting his eyes trail down the exposed skin on Sakusa’s open shirt, Nope, Nope, Absolutely Not. 

Akaashi, the sly bastard, gave him a wolfish grin and gestured over to where Sakusa sat, oblivious and deadpan. “Compliment him,” Akaashi mouthed at him, daring him to, “No balls.” 

Terushima narrowed his eyes at the setter, momma ain't raise no bitch, Terushima was about to compliment the _pants_ off that gorgeous boy. He nodded at Akaashi and took a deep breath, he was Not Nervous, no sir, “Hey Sakusa! You look _amazing_ with that shirt on. I bet it’d look even better on my floor though.” 

It had been just his luck for there to be a lull in the noisy atmosphere so literally everyone heard him call it out. Fuck! 

Semi snorted loudly, breaking the silent spell. Hinata screeched and wheezed as he and Nishinoya collapsed on the floor, giggling. Akaashi had his jaw on the ground, staring at Terushima with disbelieving eyes. Everyone else was in various states of shock. 

The only reaction he was looking at, however, was Sakusa’s. It cleansed Terushima’s skin, watered his crops and cured him of his carefully hidden depression and anxiety (ahaha), because the gods had allowed Terushima to feast his eyes on Sakusa’s amazing, show stopping, incredible, spiritually healing, never seen before, one of a kind, breathtaking blush. 

It covered his cheeks to his neck to his shoulders and even reached the top of his chest, which Terushima could see thanks to the unbuttoned dress shirt Hinata picked out. (Terushima has never been so thankful for Hinata’s eye for good clothing and Akaashi and Kuguri’s surprising talent of sneaking too expensive clothes out of department stores in cutesy little backpacks, while Kenma and Lev distracted the store employees. It was badass and very amazing, Terushima wants to be like them when he grows up pretty please.) 

“Just- just finish your stupid fucking Tiktok you fuckheaded twit.” 

(They did finish filming the video, it had over a million likes. Everyone was shook.) 

* * *

“Hi Tiktok, we’re back at it again, this time we’re getting illegal tattoos that we convinced some shady old guy to give us after I gave him that gawk gawk three thousand double sloppy handed wet and wi- OW!” Terushima broke off as he rubbed his head, glaring at a not-so innocently whistling Osamu. “Meanie.” 

The grey haired twin grinned at him teasingly, winking and clicking his teeth. Terushima’s stomach did Not flutter at the sight of a grinning Miya Osamu. What a time to be alive and like dick. God has truly shined his grace on Terushima Yuuji. He cleared his throat, and started filming again, “Ok so I didn’t give the guy that gawk gawk three thousand-” 

“‘Shima I swear to the gods, if you don’t stop your sentence right there I’m going to smack you into next Tuesday.” Hinata didn’t even look up from where he was holding hands with Lev as the tall half russian and watching a video on Kenma’s phone. Very rude, his fake ex-boyfriend. 

… He also knows that Hinata isn't joking, so. Terushima sighed, turning to his screen, “Tiktok, it seems no one wants me to be promiscuous, when will the injustice end?” 

Atsumu, who had been poking at the clear wrapping protecting his brand spanking-new tattoo, turned to him, “Wanna bet that I won’t learn a new dance before you?” 

Terushima perked up. “Bet.” 

“Take Nishinoya and Tendou with you. They’re getting antsy.” 

“Yes dad!” They both chorused, and then promptly hauled ass to get out of the shop as Iwaizumi made as if to get up, cackling. 

Terushima whooped when the quartet found a nearby park, getting a text back from Akaashi begging them to not break anything, or burn something down. Nishinoya kissed his teeth at that. 

(They still ended up setting something on fire. Turns out Atsumu knows how to naturally make fire with a couple of twigs. Iwaizumi yelled at them about illegal arson.) 

* * *

“You haven’t tried squats?”

Atsumu laid upside down, trying, and failing, to drink his “fuzzy” drink. Hinata giggled at the face the blond twin made when he managed to sip at his drink successfully. 

“I’m a volleyball player! Most of our conditioning is legwork, of course I’ve done squats!” Oikawa tottered unsteadily around the room, trying to find the brace he had in his hand. He squinted at his hand, before dismissing it and continuing his search. 

“And ya still ain’t got not ass? Damn, sucks to be Iwaizumi, poor guy must be desperate to grab at something when y’all making out.” 

Iwaizumi snorted, one arm in the air as he tried to puzzle out the intricacies of the veins in his hand, moving one finger and then the other after thoroughly examining it, “It feels so _bony_ when he sits on my lap. S’why I say I got all the ass between us.” 

“ _Why is the world dizzy?”_

Hinata looked up, he had been debating on whether or not to tell Oikawa the whereabouts of his brace, “Oh Omi-chan and them are back!” 

Sakusa stumbled into the room gripping Akaashi’s shoulder; his eyes were bloodshot and he looked around wildly. Spotting Hinata he let go of Akaashi and seemingly teleported over to Hianta, clutching at him like a life-line as he began to ramble. “Shou-kun, why is the world so dizzy? I swear to all the gods I know I saw the Christians’ God. We were fucking zooming around with Akaashi and even though he said we were walking regularly I swear to you and on Lysol I had to sprint to catch up to him. Also I think I can taste the color blue and I discovered a new color. What the fuck was in your weed Shou-kun.” 

Lev was giggling like a maniac as he shamelessly listened in, “Ne, Sakusa-san, have you tried thinking about the way we breathe and how we walk up and down the stairs?” 

At that Sakusa fell back into a surprisingly docile Nishinoya, (who promptly started to run his fingers through Sakusa’s hair with an awe-struck expression), with a furrowed brow. He mouthed the words back to himself until he understood. Then he turned to Lev with wide eyes, “Holy shit.” 

They lapsed into silence, enjoying the high, courtesy of Hinata’s brownies and various blunts he snuck into his bag, unti Terushima suddenly sat upright, “I should text him.” 

Iwaizumi squinted up at him groggily, disgruntled at the loss of a warm pillow, “...Who?” 

“My ex-boyfriend.” Hinata lifted his head from Semi’s chest, making an inquisitive noise. “No, Shouyou not you, my _actual_ ex.” Hinata nodded, and then went back to work on trying to surpass the Guinness World Record of most hickies made on a chest with Semi as his willing participant. 

Oikawa threw himself onto Terushima and Iwaizumi, snuggling down onto Iwaizumi’s chest and turning to look at Terushima, “Why did you guys break up in the first place?” 

“Oh, he cheated on me three times, that I know of, and then emotionally manipulated me into thinking it was my fault he cheated on me and kept me in an emotionally unfulfilling relationship for about eight months.” Terushima recounted nonchalantly. Iwaizumi and Oikawa stared at him. 

“Ok so I’m taking away your phone.” Terushima whirled around incredulously, Akaashi already had his phone in his hand and was in the process of turning it off. The Fukurodani setter glanced up at him after he had stayed uite for too long, “What?” 

“You can’t take my phone!” 

“Why not? You had plans to text and most likely re invite a toxic person back into your life and we don’t need that.” 

Terushima spluttered, “But! But!” He sighed, dropping his head backwards and raising his hands, defeated, “Okay, yeah that’s fair.” 

Lev screeched, startling Kenma into falling off the big couch and onto Osamu. The boy merely offered a half eaten onigiri to his new companion; Kenma silently took it and rearranged himself to lean against the twin to start up his game again. Lev pouted at his boyfriend for a bit before switching his attention to the others stoned boys in the lounge room. 

Akaashi collapsed onto the bed and pulled a pillow under his arms to peer into Lev’s screen, he took a minute to understand the text. “Oh. That’s… surprising.” 

Tendou chose that moment to crawl out from under the couch (?????) and prop himself on Kuguri’s prone form. (Hinata would have thought him dead had it not been for the low giggles and snorts he gave when Shirabu and Atsumu would whisper bad jokes to each other and at him.) “What’s surprising? Tell me the juicy gossip!” 

Atsumu startled, wide eyed as his eyes flickered from the red-head to the space that he crawled out of, probably doing mental gymnastics in trying to figure out how he got his entire near damn 6’2” body in that little opening. 

Oblivious to Atsumu’s turmoil, Lev announced, “Coach Naoi and your Coach Ukai used to date back in high school. Shibayama just told me that he overheard Coach Nekomata tease Naoi-san about it, and he sent me a picture he found in the old yearbooks of them back in there high school days.” 

Why hello silence, nice to meet you.

“ _WHAT!?”_

Nishinoya and Hinata had shot straight up, throwing themselves at LEv and trying to see his phone. 

“No fucking way, beanstalk, lemme see-.” 

“Haiba Lev, you better not be shitting me right now.” 

“I’m not!” He cried, shoving his phone at hsi two short friends, “Look!”

They took a moment to read the messages and see the picture. Then they looked at each other, “Holy shit.” 

Hinata turned to him, regarding the silver-haired boy seriously, “Beanstalk, I’m taking a picture and I’m sending it to myself ok? Okay, great thanks, cool.” 

“Wait Shouyou, isn’t Coach Ukai trying to like, court Takeda-sensei?” Nishinoya slapped his hand onto Hinata’s back, the middle blocker gasped in realization. 

“Oh my god you’re right.” 

“Didn’t you say you overheard Uka tell you advisor that hei was gonna take Takeda to Tokyo for a date or something, babe?” Semi called from behind the couch, having got up to try and look for his shirt. Hinta’s eyes gleamed. 

“You’re right! And! I also know the restaurant that Coach Ukai is probably taking Takeda-sensei to! Just gotta make a phone call to check.” 

Kuguri finally made the first movements since he ate his three brownies, squinting at the swirly, shiny Hinata, “...Did you recommend them to him?” 

Hinata set him a sharp grin, wiggling in place and watching as Kuguri went crossed eyed, “I sure fucking did.” 

Ten minutes later, Hinata walked back into the lounge room, proud and triumphant like a king having returned from a long and hard war which he had ended and announced, “We’re going on an adventure! Get dressed, get dressed, we’re spying on my coach and advisor on their date!” 

Semi, having given up on finding his shirt, was already looking for a sweater to “borrow” while he gave a token protest. Hinata eyed his chest with something akin to pride. “Babe, no, most of us are still higher than a fucking kite. We’re in Pluto, sweetheart.” 

Hinata shrugged, prancing over to his boyfriend’s side and hugging him around his waist; he laid his chin between Semi’s pectorals and batted his eyes at the setter, with a pout he delivered the final nail in the coffin, “Please, toasted marshmallow?” 

Semi Eita was a mortal man, one weak and blinded with love. He sighed, aggravated, returning the hug he hid his face in Hinata’s neck and nodded, “Fine, but help me find a shirt and a sweater, yeah?” 

Hinata grinned, holding out Semi’s shirt and a bomber jacket. “Great! The docs are by the entrance, I think.” He skipped out of the room citing a need to change clothes.

Semi blinked, he turned to their spectators with a mystified expression, “I got duped, didn’t I.” 

Akaashi nodded, mentally taking notes. Nishinoya was physically taking notes on a napkin, muttering little changes to get Asahi to go along with his plans. 

Hinata pranced back into the lounge wear into semi-formal wear, but make it thot. Atsumu groaned, letting himself roll off the couch and onto Tendou and Kuguri, “Dammit Shou-kun, now we all hafta look good. I just wanted to wear a hoodie and jeans and call it a day.” 

Hinata cackled. 

* * *

“Oh my god is that him?” 

“Is there anyone else with blonde hair and small hoops around here?” 

“Tsumu does.” Someone snickered at that.

“I have black studs and my hair is shorter, ‘Samu! And you _know_ that!” More giggling. 

“You guys! Shhh! You’re gonna give us away!” 

The group of boys sneaked into a big booth in a good, but discreet, angle. Hinata waved down a waiter who greeted him cheerfully and proceeded to take their order. They settled in to wait and watch with their various munchies meals. 

“Wait, this food fucking smacks Shou-kun. How’d you find it?” 

“My dad knows a guy who knows the guy in charge of this restaurant and son goes to Karasuno, so I’m friendly with him and we get discounts sometimes.” Hinata cheerfully informed the group, before popping an onigiri into his mouth. 

Semi was exasperated, taking his boyfriend’s face into his hands, “Babe, love of my life, _how do you know so many people?_ ” 

“It’s a gift, marshmallow.” Hinata grinned and pecked his mouth, except he was still high as fuck and ended up slamming his forehead into Semi’s nose. (Semi didn’t mind, too busy blushing at the pet name he secretly likes despite his protests. The love stuck fool.) 

Shirabu squinted at Hinata, “...So how’d your coach find this restaurant?”

Hinata swallowed his salmon onigiri, before giving him a smug little smile, “I mentioned it to him and told him it was a good place to eat with others. And also my dad told him it was a good date spot.” 

There were several thuds as Hinata’s friends dropped their heads onto the table. He shushed them, “You’re gonna give us away!” 

* * *

Ukai Keishin had the strangest feeling he was being watched. He glanced around the restaurant. His date noticed and gave him a strange look, “Are you alright, Ukai-kun?” 

He gave an uneasy grin, “Eh, Takeda-kun, yu don’t feel a bit… like there’s someone watching us?” He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. 

Takeda hummed, taking a sip of his tea before casually remarking, “There’s a group of about fifteen boys a couple tables down that have been staring at us for the past ten minutes.” He tilted his head towards the boys’ direction. “There should be a pair of twins and a boy with two moles above his right eye. There are other boys but they hid their faces when I passed them to go to the restroom, so I couldn’t see their faces or make out any distinguishing features.” 

Ukai’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, “Oh my god, Sensei, `what if it’s our boys.” 

Takeda paused, then shook his head. “No, no, Hinata has orange hair remember? There were like, four blonde boys but no one with orange hair. And it’s not like Hinata would follow us all the way to Tokyo just to spy on us.” He shook his head, smiling, “Let’s just enjoy this night, yeah?” 

Ukai nodded, eyes lingering on the group of boys before focusing on the man in front of him. Takeda was right, as bright and eager ( _and weirdly eccentric and over protective_ ) as Hinata was, he wouldn’t go all the way to Tokyo just to spy on them. Right? Right. 

But then again, he and his father _did_ recommend the restaurant- no. no, Hinata wasn’t that invested in their lives, they were fine. 

* * *

Shouyou munched on Eita’s onigiri as he watched the disturbingly passionate discussion in front of him, while keeping an eye on the couple. They had left a while ago, happily, so he counted the date as a success. 

But now Lev had been dragged into an arson versus knives debate with Nishinoya and their eyes had become increasingly bright and gleeful. He turned to Eita, “I think we should go before they start giving examples.”

Eita nodded, kissing him and wiping off small pieces of rice stuck to his face. “We can find a park so they can settle the score.” 

Shouyou leaned over to Akaashi-san and whispered the plans. Akaashi-san nodded and waved down their waiter to ask for the bill. They left quickly as to not alert the couple they had been watching. Before they left though, Shouyou turned around and snapped a photo of the two to send to the Karasuno group chat

“Shouyou! Bet you I can find a park quicker than you!” Lev called out to him joyfully, already giddy from the night air and the thought of being able to play with his knives. Shouyou sent him back a grin. “Winner gets bragging rights.” 

They sent each other sharp grins and shot off, much to the chagrin of their friends. Shouyou glanced back to see the rest of the guys looked at each other, before they began to run as well. 

Shouts and jeers rang out for a while as they ran around trying to look for a park. Shouyou laughed gleefully and then shouted out when he found a grassy area with swings. “A park! Look! A park!” 

Shouyou tugged Semi down to the grass to cuddle with him as they settled down to watch Lev and Nishinoya continue to argue, Iwaizumi and Oikawa copying them. Sakusa wiped down the swing set and plopped himself down on one of the swings, Kenma and Akaashi following. 

Shirabu threw himself down next to the couple, rolling over to lay on his stomach and rest his head on his arms as he stared at the grass. Tendou snatched up Kuguri, Terushima and the twins and they wandered off to cause mischief, or summon a demon, who knows. 

About twenty minutes into Nishinoya and Lev’s argument, Kenma strolled past Lev and dragged him down to the ground to lay on him. Lev, already used to Kenma’s antics, adjusted seamlessly and kept snipping at Nishinoya. 

“Knives are easy to carry! You really don’t need any equipment other than the damn blade, Noya-san!”

“Yeah, but what if you get searched? You can explain a lighter, but you can explain why you have a knife on your person so easily.” 

“That’s only if you don’t know how to hide them properly! And also, what happens when you smell like smoke and there’s a fire that _just_ sprung up? Epeople ar gonna point fingers!”

Shouyou watched, highly entertained and snickering with Oikawa, as Nishinoya stuck his tongue out and started a retort; he never got to finish it because Sa-chan chose that moment to run back to them, panting and grinning, holding a vaguely familiar object in his hands. Terushima and them caught up a couple minutes after, panting and looking far too smug for their own good. 

Iwaizumi already looked so done with them. Eita and Shouyou looked at each other curiously before looking back at the small group. 

Iwaizumi sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands, “What did you guys do?” 

Sa-chan held up the object in his hand triumphantly, it was a dildo. A big sparkly pink dildo. Shouyou heard Lev, or maybe Akaashi, who knows go “pfft'' as Sa-chan said gleefully, “We found this by a bench and a cop came up to us to ask what we were doing with it but! He scared me so I accidentally smacked him with it and now he’s chasing us. So we might have to run again.” 

Almost as if on cue, they heard the chirp of a cop alarm and the flights shine on them. Shouyou turned to his red-headed friend, disbelieving and already giddy from the latent adrenaline, “Does this mean we have to run from cops cars again?” 

Sa-chan grinned at him, signaling to Akaashi and Kiyoomi-san to come over, “You betcha, Shou-chan.” 

Shouyou let out a whoop, he hasn’t run from cops or done anything too illegal in a hot minute. This is great fun! He tagged Lev and shot off. “Whoever gets caught is a loser!” He shouted. 

In volleyball, you can’t help but get competitive, and usually, most people _are_ competitive, so this was an excellent motivator to start running. Shouyou knew this, so he stroked everyone’s pride and competitive streak. It was glorious. 

They ran in circles, confusing the police and shouting out to each other their spots. This took them into the early hours of the morning and Shouyou was glad to cross that off his bucket list. Nothing like a little illegal behavior with his friends. 

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

y(owo)kai: oh shou-chan

amsunshine: huh

y(owo)kai: washijo asked me how youve been playing n he wants u in the summer camp thingy he does every year

y(owo)kai: and that tall blond middle boy that blocked wakatoshi spike

amsunshine: :00000000

amsunshine: WHAT!!!!

y(owo)kai: yea except he already called ahead and said to inform u privately bc he wants to c=fuck w your coaches i think idk

amsunshine: im,,, crying what 

amsunshine: ksaslhf

amsunshine: im hugging u where are you

y(owo)kai: in the shower

aliens!! are!! real!!: why….

aliens!! are!! real!!: are u typing from the shower

y(owo)kai: i just remembered hehe

too pretty for this: why are you like this

* * *

Akaashi stared at the degenerates he regretfully (but not really) called his friends. He blinked once, then a second time. “You want to teach me to what?” 

Nishinoya and Hinata grinned at him, phones in hand and squeezing him between them. “We know that you’re frustrated because Bokuto-san can throw it back and he keeps doing it so, why not teach you and when he does it just be like, “hey watch this” and throw it back like the absolute royalty and god you are and make him harder than diamond?” 

He stared at them, and then turned to stare beseechingly at Iwaizumi and Semi. the two third years, traitors that they were, just shrugged. Semi, the whipped bastard, had a smile on his face, “I’m sorry Akaashi-kun, but even I can’t stop Shou from everything.” 

Akaashi narrowed his eyes, “...Liar.” 

Semi laughed maniacally. 

* * *

Nishinoya walked into the room with his phone held in his raised aarm. “You doubted me Akaashi-san! But look, people loved it! And now it’s at a million and a half views!” 

Terushima’s head snapped up, “What?! Let me see that.” 

Nishinoya handed his phone to the blond boy. He watched the video with a single-minded intensity and an aura that would not be out of place in a world renowned judge. With a pout he handed Nishinoya’s phone back to him. “That’s not fair! Most of this is just you guys fucking around, theres only like, three secnds of you shrowing it back!” 

Hinata grinned, “Realism sells baby!” 

Atsumu perked up and he looked at Tendou, “Does this mean the shrine is ready?” 

Akaashi whirled around, shock evident on his face. “ _The what?!”_

Atsumu blinked in confusion, “...T-the shrine? You know, the one we built for you?” He glanced at Tendou for backup and the middle blocker gently guided Akaashi to where they had situated the shrine. Everyone else followed, curious and slightly incredulous. True to word, there it was. A small shrine with candles and sweets and a picture of Akaashi in the middle of it all. 

The boy in question buried his face in his hands. Kuguri narrowed his eyes and leaned forward to look at Akaashi closer. “Guys, he’s blushing.” 

“Please mind your business, Kuguri-kun.” 

Kuguri snickered. 

(Somewhere in the Bokuto residence, Bokuto Koutarou woke up briefly, feeling there had been another shrine made to celebrate Akaashi Keiji. He smiled, and promptly fell back to sleep.) 

* * *

“Okay, you guys have to call me when you get off the train and when you get on the other train and also call me or text me when you get to your home-.” 

“Ah, Shou-kun, yer makin’ _me_ nervous. Calm down would ya? Me ‘n ‘Samu’ll be fine.” Atsumu ruffled Hinata’s hair as he and Osamu walked to the train station. “See you at Nationals, SHou-kun!” 

Hinata waved entusaically, near tearful, after a week of binding and fun with his friends. “BE SAFE YOU FUCKERS!” 

The twins laughed and waved, ignoring the scandalous look shot at them by the spectators. 

Hinata turned to Semi, pouting, “I miss them already, can we go back in time and do the week over again?” 

Semi hugged his (pint-sized) boyfriend. “We’ll find other chances, babe, c’mon don’t you wanna see Kenma and Lev and Akaashi off too?” 

Hinata nodded, tugging Semi along and repeating his goodbyes with a promise of hanging out later there was a lot of hugging and teasing (and biting, but let’s not mention that). Akaashi held the shrine in his hands, since it was small enough to carry and also because Tendou insisted he have it. The guy was surprisingly convincing hen he wanted to be. 

* * *

  
_**not straight but at least we can play vball** _   
  


too pretty for this: shirabu doesnt want to say it but he needs new shoes 

god has left me: oh fuck you

amsunshine: sure! how many and what size

god has left me: what

amsunshine: how many pairs of shoes and what size are you?

THUNDER: kouhai,,,,,,

amsunshine: yuh

THUNDER: do you

THUNDER: do you know someone who works at a shoe store

amsunshine: even better

amsunshine: i know MULTIPLE someones who work at shoe stores

too pretty for this: hey babe quick question

amsunshine: yeah

too pretty for this: this wouldnt be the same person who lives in kyoto and makes custom shoes right

amsunshine: no yeah that's takeru-san

THUNDER: hey! hat the fuck!

god has left me: wait wait wait

god has left me: THE TAKERU??? the designer shoe guy???

amsunshine: yeah he's a family friend

aliens!! are!! real!!: i heard my nephews name

aliens!! are!! real!!: wait omg takeru?

aliens!! are!! real!!: iwa-chan's dad bought his mom a pair and they're so fucking amazing

aliens!! are!! real!!: omg chibi-chan you just know this person?

amsunshine: yeah he's a family friend

amsunshine: anyway,, shirabu what size are you?

god has left me: ,

too pretty for this: he's a 28 and he needs like five pairs

too pretty for this: all he has rn is his school shoes and them shits uncomfortable

god has left me: SHUT

god has left me: wait hinata,,, u dont have to do this

amsunshine: nah its fine, ur my friend so its ok

god has left me: holy shit

god has left me: i need to go

god has left me: lay down

stfu: so we're just gonna gloss over the fact that chibi knows a lot of poeple

THUNDER: THATS WHAT IM THINKING SIR WHAT

amsunshine: hehe

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the week of fun is over boys, however,,, i think im going to continue onto brazil and the time skip so i have to catch up o the manga and keep up w my summer school courses fhaslkha  
> and also semihina is getting married, i am the author therefore i am god of this universe ehehkh
> 
> on another note i have a shit home life and im working so hard to move out and live in illinois w my friends and we're gonna be happy aldhah, so the reason m saying this is i might not be as consistent as i sued to be in ye olden days when i would crank out chapters in two or so days so pls b patient w me 
> 
> THANKS FOR READING!!


	21. chaos is my first name angst is my middle name and im horny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi yall yeehaw get ready for a ride  
> also bokuto superiority. my favs are hinata bokuto and tendou idc idc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, mom i'm sorry  
> here's who's who  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u  
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me  
> Iwachan: stfu  
> kuguri: vibing  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this  
> sakusa: Ur filth

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

pls chill: i love my boyfriend

pls chill: but he is very stupid at times

kodzuken: oh felt that

kodzuken: moronsexuals unite

kodzuken: what did yours do?

pls chill: he forgot that i wasn't in his classes bc i Am a Second Year and He’s a Third Year and so during break he turned to me and asked me what i wrote down for the quantum physics quiz for the quantum physics class im not taking because ,,

pls chill: i’m taking environmental studies at the moment

kodzuken: asflkhsafk

kodzuken: lev asked me if apricots had feelings

pls chill: sigh

kodzuken: its two types of himbos except lev isnt as buff as bokuto

kodzuken: but i dont think anyone is a muscular as bokuto

pls chill: me neither 

* * *

too pretty for this: someone send my boyfriend to stupid jail

amsunshine: NO

amsunshine: STOP EITA PLS

pls chill: what did he do 

prettyplayboy: what he do what he do

too pretty for this: ok so 

too pretty for this: i was drunk last night right, like fucked up beyond recognition and so shou decides to drive right bc apparently he can drive and so he drove w a pot plant in his lap bc he had to make a delivery bc apparently my lovely wonderful boyfriend also makes bank w his lil weed plants

pls chill: yes naturally

amsunshine: STOP

too pretty for this: and then after like twenty minutes we get pulled over bc by highway patrol and the guy goes “hey i heard you have pot” 

too pretty for this: and lsafkjsd

too pretty for this: and my boyfriends goes, “ya this pot” and holds up his potted plant

pls chill: oh god

prettyplayboy: uhhuh uhhuh what happened next 

amsunshine: BABE PLEASE

too pretty for this: the guy goes “oh my bad, what type of plant is it” and my boyfriend,

too pretty for this: my very cute but stupid boyfriend looks this man right in the eye and says with his whole CHEST “weed” 

too pretty for this: im just

prettyplayboy: AKSdHAS

pls chill: shouyou….

amsunshine: AFKHAHFAS STOP 

kodzuken: oh my god

no u: ur literally so dumb sahafh

stfu: hinata you can drive?

amsunshine: ,,,,,, not legally

pls chill: HINTAT

amsunshine: uwu

* * *

amsunshine: HELP AS:HAKSDAIHS

THUNDER: AAHAHAH SHOUYOU ASFIGASG

THUNDER: HE REALYLY FUCKING EIED TO LJAS

too pretty for this: what happened

amsunshine: I ALMSOT GOT

amsunshine: I ALMSOT GOT Y E E T E D ACROSS THE FIELD 

no u: by who????

amsunshine: tsukki T~T

too pretty for this: tall blond one?

amsunshine: yah

too pretty for this: why?

THUNDER: SASKH BECASUE SHOUYOU CALLED HIM OTOUTO AND RUFFLED HIS HAIR ASF:HASD

no u: AHAHAH 

amsunshine: HES YOUNGER THAN ME IM THE OLDEST FIRST YEAR THERE SDF:AHFA:J

amsunshine: and our vice captain just laughed

amsunshine: heart been broke so many times-

y(owo)kai: he ill recognize your status as older brother one day believe it

THUNDER: alright naruto

y(owo)kai: heY

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: I DID NOT

fuck you ur stuck w me: I DID NOT JSUT FUCKING 

fuck you ur stuck w me: WALK IN PN MY CAPTAIN AND FRIEND MAKINGOUT W EACH OTHER A:KHDASKDH

i await the sweet release of death: you WHAT

Ur filth: so you’re into voyeurism 

fuck you ur stuck w me: NO IM NOT I WAKED INON THEM AKHAFASK I DIDNT MEAN TO

Ur filth: ok voyeur :/

amsunshine: :0!! Tsumu ur into voyeurism???

fuck you ur stuck w me: AS:HAS:F NO!

prettyplayboy: hey @Urfilth wanna make out and make atsumu watch 

prettyplayboy: or is that outta pocket

amsunshine: SHIMA AWHAT A:HFKAS:H

Ur filh: Nasty, disgusting, get out of my face

Ur filth: you’ve been blocked and reported for disgusting activity 

amsunshine: liar!!!! There would be a notif for us admins abt that hehe

Ur filth: i rue the day i was born

prettyplayboy: please,,,, just one kiss,,,, i;d die happy

amsunshine: asdashflaskh SPTO

too pretty for this: stpo

pls chill: stpo 

THUNDER: stpo

amsunshine: >:(

fuck you ur stuck w me: AND YALL KNOW THE WORST PART

fuck you ur stuck w me: THEY DIDNT RECOGNIZE ME IMSA :AHSASK:

amsunshine: AJSAD I FELT THAT WHAT AFOJAS

amsunshine: dye your hair blonde and get a couple piercings and tattoos and suddenly youre a stranger :/

fuck you ur stuck w me: sigh

* * *

Daichi stared at the short blond boy who was passing the volleyball with Nishinoya, (who had piercing he definitely Did Not have before the week-long break, what the fuck), while animatedly talking. He sent a bewildered glance to Sugawara, who had arrived with Kageyama. His vice captain raised a brow and joined his side. 

“... Who’s that?” 

Daichi shrugged, “I’ve been watching them for the past twenty minutes. Did Nishinoya always have that many piercings?” 

Sugawara frowned, gently letting go of Kageyama’s hand and bracing himself on the gym doors, “No, he had the one ear lobe piercing he got with Tanaka at the start of their second year. Is that a tattoo?” 

Kageyama peeked around the two thirds years and frowned. Sugawara noticed his expression and nudged him to talk, “Doesn’t the blond boy look familiar? I swear I’ve seen him before.” 

Before they could scrutinize the boy any further, he looked up and waved. “Hi, Daichi-san! Hi Suga-san! Hey Kageyama!” 

The three waved back instinctively, then they placed the voice. 

“HINATA?!” 

The short middle blocker whirled around, confused. He glanced at Nishinoya behind him, and turned back to them, “Uh, yeah?” 

Daichi could feel his jaw on the floor and did mental gymnastics to try and formulate a sentence. He sped through several questions and finally settled one, “What did you do during break?” 

Hinata brightened, and dragged Nishinoya to begin telling them all about their week in Tokyo ( _ what the fuck _ ). It included kicking someone in the balls, box dyes and ...sparkly dildos? Sugawara was laughing so hard he began to cry, Kageyama looked vaguely panicked at the boy’s reaction. Daichi felt his hair turn grey and he sighed. “Just… let’s just start practice, okay?” 

Hinata beamed at him and agreed. The rest of the team filed a while after and Daichi quickly took charge, re-introducing Hinata to a shocked teen.

It was any other practice, until Hinata spotted Tsukishima and began to annoy him. The tall middle blocker, in an extremely uncharacteristic move, gave chase and tried to…  _ punt  _ Hinata? Hinata ran around Asahi and a cry-laughing Nishinoya as he tried to evade Tsukishima. 

And then the speechless floundering from Ukai-san and Takeda-sensei when they spotted Hinata. Turns out they had gone to the same restaurant by “accident”, (Hinata later confided mischievously that he, Nishinoya, and a couple other friends had followed them there. Daichi will forever to his grave deny that he snorted when he heard, he has a reputation to uphold, thanks). 

(He is also staunchly ignoring the fact that he saw Asahi ask Hinata where he got his tattoos and also Did Not See the glint in Nishinoya's eyes. he is not responsible for his dumbass teammates outside of volleyball. He most certainly Did Not stay behind to wait for Asahi to get done with his questioning, Sugawara was seeing things. Besides, shouldn't he be bonding with his new boyfriend?) 

* * *

pls chill: i believe in Bokuto-san superiority

pls chill: he flexed earlier today and i just afklhas

pls chill: also why does he sleep talk about calculus i thought he wanted to go pro what

prettyplayboy: but but

prettyplayboy: calculus is p fun and i Get why he'd sleeptalk abt it :0

Ur filth: calculus is hell you guys are just nerds

prettyplayboy: i did not come here to get SLANDERED and get called a nerd >:(

amsunshine: i mean last time i went over to your house you nearly punched bobota-san bc he won against u in uno 

prettyplayboy: SHUT 

THUNDER: im not saying i condone your actions 

THUNDER: im just saying i Understand 

amsunshine: senpai you bit sa-chan bc he was counting cards

THUNDER: SHUT 

amsunshine: you were cheating too

THUNDER: SHUT anyway yuuji i Understand 

prettyplayboy: THANK YOU aslkhdas

pls chill: terushima, does this mean you're good at calc 

prettyplayboy: yes?

pls chill: oh goodie, that means you can help me w the calc hw i have

prettyplayboy: i thought your bokuto helps you?????

pls chill: he’s one of those people that is near damn prodigious in math but cant explain it to save his ass so

prettyplayboy: ,,

prettyplayboy: he 

prettyplayboy: he just get it???

pls chill: yes

prettyplayboy: BRUH I SPEND SO LONG TRYING TO UNDERSTAND IT SO I CAN BE THAT BITCH™ ASDJGHAS AND DUDE JUST GETSAFAS

prettyplayboy: ask him how does it feel to be the gods’ favorite 

pls chill: me too

* * *

i await the sweet release of death: why does this onigrir taste like shit

i await the sweet release of death: its disgusting adn i aarte it 

i await the sweet release of death: i am shocked at the lack of cooking skills 

i await the sweet release of death: this girl will never amount to anything if she can’t make decent onigiri 

god has left me: ????

god has left me: what do you mean

i await the sweet release of death: i mean like what are you doing with your life if you cant even make onigiri

i await the sweet release of death: if you cant cook yo wont be disciplined and you wont do good in school and you’ll fail in school and you’ll starve bc you dont know how to cook and you’ll die

god has left me: ,, are you okay

fuck you ur stuck w me: im so sorry this dumb bitch is drunk adlkhasd

fuck you ur stuck w me: his gf broke up with him by giving him onigiri with a note on top that said some v shitty things and now he’s ranting

i await the sweet release of death: just because i like dick doesnt mean i didnt lik her gods amithgt 

i await the sweet release of death: she fucing put i know you like boys and i dont wntt to be tiwth somene who wont leave me fro someone else of the mae gneeder

fuck yu ur stuck w me: fuck time for samu to go to bed uh good night

god has left me: im so confused sldhaksd

* * *

i await the sweet release of death: please disregard the previous conversation that was out of pocket and i regret it 

god has left me: oh yeah no you’re good

i await the sweet release of death: sigh

fuck you ur stuck w me: btw im telling kita-san you got drunk last night

i await the sweet release of death: bitch

fuck you ur stuck w me: you fucking punched me when i tried to get you to bed fuckhead you should be glad im not teling him anything else 

i await the sweet release of death: you dont look any different trash

fuck you ur stuck w me: fuck youuuu

god has left me: why am i still here 

* * *

Ur filth: if my cousin doesnt stop trying to set me up with someone i will fuck him up 

vibing: wha

vibing: what

Ur filth: he thinks i need someone for me to be happy

Ur filth: is it not enough that i play volleyball for my personal enjoyment 

vibing: oh felt that asask

Ur filth: if you’ll excuse me i have to someone to freak out 

vibing: mhm

* * *

**_disaster first yr gays_ **

  
  


simp ONLY for my bf: i am Conflicted 

leaves: whats up

simp ONLY for my bf: kags and suga are actually p cute

leaves: HUh

simp ONY for my bf: like suga teases him and makes him flustered but also makes sure to bring him down adn dosnt take shit from him and makes sure kags understands that he isn’t allowed to slip back into bad habits and afhahs

kugurii: ooh yikes 

kugurii: and iwaizumi n oikawa still dont know

simp ONLY for my bf: no

leaves: wait shit

leaves: wait actually look at the other server

leaves: oikawa-san is freaking out

simp ONLY for my bf: oh no

kugurii: aw fuckle sticks

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

aliens!! are!! real!!: due to personal reasons i will be ripping my heart out and screaming into the void 

stfu: oikawa

aliens!! are!! real!!: [0(^u^)0] 

aliens!! are!! real!!: im fine!!! Perfectly fine!!!!!! Just peachy!!!! 

aliens!! are!! real!!: everything is fine and nothing hurts and my heart isnt being broken into a million fucking pieces ahahahaha 

kodzuken: did something happen between you two?

stfu: not us

stfu: we just 

stfu: learned something that fucked us up

aliens!! are!! real!!: FUCK

aliens!! are!! real!!: ADSH IHATE IT HERE WHY AD:AH 

aliens!! are!! real!!: am i not good enough

aliens!! are!! real!!: everything is fine everything is fine!!!!!!

amsunshine: what going om

aliens!! are!! real!!: whats going on is tobio-chan is dating someone else and we jsut found out!!!! Its great for him actually!!!! he deserves someone who isnt mean and a piece of shit and a horrible human being!!! And its not ike ive been just as in love w him like ive been with hajime for the past two years and everything is fine!!!! M just fine!!!!!

stfu: tooru im coming over 

aliens!! are!! real!!: STAY OVER THWR im fne!!!!!! Im great@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

stfu: yeah and i have green hair and yellow eyes 

stfu: im coming over and you cant stop me

aliens!! are!! real!!: (((((((: 

* * *

**_disaster first yr gays_ **

simp ONLY for my bf: FUC FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK 

leaves: shit shit shit shit shit shit shithsit shit

kugurii: so i think its safe to say that this is a clusterfuck right

simp ONLY for my bf: this is my fault :(((

kugurii: fucking wrong

kugurii: who told yo to not tell kags

simp ONLY for my bf: you

kugurii: technically itd be my fault 

kugurii: but its not like we can do anything else other than comfort oikawa and iwaizumi

simp ONLY for my bf: iwaizumi is just as fucked up too i can tell

simp ONY for my bf: fuckkkkkkkk

leaves: i guess rn cnt do anything huh

kugurii: not really 

kugurii: kags cant knwo that oikawa n iwai are upset bc it might fuck him up too

simp ONLY for my bf: as shitty as it may sound i need him to be top notch shape for nationals 

simp ONLY for my bf: udfhi i hate doing this

leaves: ashas ahhhhhh 

* * *

shou: marshmallowwwwww :( 

shou: i feel like i fucked up

eita: why? what happened honey

shou: read the server

eita: oh shit

shou: its my fault :(

eita: sweetheart, no it’s not your fault, oikawa and iwaizumi are their own people they will sove their own problems and you’ve done what you can do 

shou: ik but iwaizumi told me that he n oikawa still like kags

eita: baby, thats a them problem

eita: all you can do is support them 

shou: >:(

shou: fine

shou: come over i wanna cuddle my lightly toasted marshmallow

eita: yes lovely 

shou: STOP

eita: aha

* * *

_**disaster first yr gays** _

simp ONLY for my bf: my boyfriend may be reigning asshole of shiratorizawa but i'm That Bitch that makes him putty in my hands

simp ONLY for my bf: so basically i won

kugurii: fuck youuuuuu

leaves: my boyfriend loves you more than he loves me and honestly i understand why 

kugurii: HASAS???? WAHT

leaves: its a shouyou thing

kugurii: ,, 

kugurii: no yeah i see where youre coming from 

simp ONLY for my bf: also he has a big dik and can last for hours hehe :3c

kugurii: wait lev is kenma a pillow princess

leaves: ,,

simp ONLY for my bf: sorta skhasd

leaves: wha

simp ONLY for my bf: me n kenma are bottoms ok we talk

leaves: :0

kugurii: well i have to find someone in a bit

simp ONLY for my bf: you're more than your relationship guri :(

kugurii: no no i meant its horny hours for me alskhasl

simp ONLY for me: felt 

simp ONY for my bf: anyway eita is here gtg!! 

simp ONLY for my bf: boutta get FCUKED

leaves: get that dick king

kugurii: i hope you choke on his dick

simp ONLY for my bf: thank you thank you, you guys are ever so kind

kugurii: <3

leaves: <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm getting desperate to leave my house but i literally can't ahahahaimslowlybeingkilledinsidehereahaidhas  
> i have to start and finish my junior year and finish my senior year and then i can fuck outta this place right after graduation and move to illinois w my friends  
> but gang gang asldhas dw yall this and my friends are the only things keeping me from ending it all heehee


	22. canon left a voice mail she said get into it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nobody:  
> terushima: ah fuck  
> more drama some contiuation and canon waved at me from the curb two blocks away lol '  
> as always ,, mom im sorry (not really)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heehee have fun reading we have mentions of the summer cam and that means i can and WILL rewatch season 4 pt 1 again for A+ commentary and also!! developing relationship  
> here's who's who  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u  
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me  
> Iwachan: stfu  
> kuguri: vibing  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this  
> sakusa: Ur filth

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: i must confess

THUNDER: do you think that diedara from naruto could give himself a blowjob

amsunshine: senpai what the fuck

y(owo)kai: also you misspelled deidara 

THUNDER: yeah but that doesnt answer my question

THUNDER: do you think that dude with the mouths on his hands can give himself a blowjob with his mouth hands

y(owo)kai: yes

vibing: actually how wuld that work

vibing: because like,, you need the entire length of the throat to give a decent blowjob right

vibing: so does that mean that he has a throat in his arm bc of the mouths on his hands or…?

amsunshine: no no no but he only uses the mouths to mold chakra right? Because he used that forbidden jutsu that gave him the hands 

y(owo)kai: do you think that there are sex jutsus 

vibing: probably 

THUNDER: they’re ninjas w stressfuls jobs i’d like to think so

THUNDER: also on the train of thought wha type of sex do you think they’d be into, like vanilla or like heavy near damn bdsm type beat 

amsunshine: i dont think they’d be relaxed enough to do bdsm bc it includes a lot of trust and a sense of safety no?

vibing: oooh cus they’d prob be on call all the time huh

amsunshine: yea

y(owo)kai: ok so i’ve read a lot of bdsm articles right

amsunshine: of course 

y(owo)kai: and most of the time it really really really emphasizes on the safe sane consensual but ykyk most of these ninjas are fucked up in the head so them sticking to the safe sane consensual isnt always gona be there so i think that only the really close friends do that 

amsunshine: ok but

* * *

too pretty for this: why are there multiple essay's on bdsm and ninjas in the server

god has left me: why do i know you people 

kodzuken: why wasnt i invited i have an essay ready for these talks 

no u: he does.

too pretty for this: there is a lot of pain in those two words

god has left me: lev are you okay

no u: no

god has left me: ok cool just making sure

no u: -^-

* * *

fuck you ur stuck w me: who wants to be the one to tell my brother that eating hs feelins out is not the way to go 

i await the sweet release of death: fuck you

fuck you ur stuck w me: pleas someone help its getting kinda pathetic

vibing: if your still crying over a girl that broke up with you over your sexuality then you didnt really need her in your life

vibing: also you're giving off loser vibes 

prettyplayboy: oop

prettyplayboy: if youre really torn up about the girl i could comfort you ;) 

Ur filth: really? in front of my salad? 

prettyplayboy: i thought you didnt like salads

Ur filth: shut up

prettyplayboy: lmaoooo

vibing: desperately ignoring that interaction, samu, ykyk what you gotta do to get over her n just do you ykyk

i await the sweet release of death: sigh

i await the sweet release of death: yeah i got it 

fuck you ur stuck w me: liar youre stilll fucking eating the ice creamfahfajs

prettyplayboy: oh my fucking god he fucking dead

Ur filth: a shame

Ur filth: he had such a promising life ahead of him

prettyplayboy: omiiiiiiii-kunnn ur so mean 

Ur filth: Who the FUCK gave you permission to call me that.

prettyplayboy: pwetty pwease 

Ur filth: That does nothing to endear you to me

prettyplayboy: ,, 

prettyplayboy: omi-san?

Ur filth: you’re not going to stop until I say yes, right?

prettyplayboy: absolutely

Ur filth: ugh

Ur filth: fine

prettyplayboy: :DDD!!

fuck you ur stuck w me: i have been ATTACKED 

Ur filth: you deserve it

fuck you ur stuck w me: >:0

* * *

y(owo)kai: wakatoshi just barged into my dorm and now he’s yelling about how bees spend their whole lives to make a single teaspoon of honey

y(owo)kai: tsutomu is crying bc he feels bad for the bees now 

y(owo)kai: ive never seen my boyfriend so expressive over anything

y(owo)kai: i think he’s high akalkfa

stfu: not to be rude or anything,,,,, but,,,,,,

stfu: wakatoshi is expressive???

y(owo)kai: im shocked too

y(owo)kai: pls excuse me i have a baby boy to calm down ;) 

stfu: i did not need the implications of that

y(owo)kai: hehe

stfu: god why 

* * *

y(owo)kai: ok so turns out he was high

stfu: no fucking way

y(owo)kai: indeed

kodzuken: whats going on

y(owo)kai: wakatoshi got high and barged into the dorm to yell about bee and their honey

kodzuken: ahh

kodzuken: wait who

stfu: ushijima 

kodzuken: ??

stfu: the ace that played against shouyou in the finals for qualifiers for the nationals 

kodzuken: oh

kodzuken: that guy

no u: what type of stoned is he

y(owo)kai: he’s surprisingly really animated abt nature and stuff 

y(owo)kai: hes also even more affectionate and easy with his words so most of the time tsutomu was red uwu

no u: cute!!

y(owo)kai: i know!!

stfu: who got him high?

y(owo)kai: hayato i think, 

stfu: ?

y(owo)kai: our libero

stfu: undercut w eyebrow that make it seems like he’s always glaring?

y(owo)kai: uh yes

stfu: oh cool, i found makki and matsun’s dealer 

y(owo)kai: ASOHASH WHAT

stfu: i found him and them in the locker room after practice ad i thought they were having a threesome s i was like fuck man why me 

stfu: but no turns out it was just a drug deal thingy so i left lmao

y(owo)kai: i thought you were the responsible one???

stfu: im only responsible enough to take care of shittykawa and the team during games and pracitce

stfu: after that its pretty much just a “dont die on me” thing yknow

stfu: and plus its kinda boring and strssfu to be gatekeeping them, we’re stupid teeagrers who do stupid shit, why would i stop them if im also dong the Stupid Shit yknow

y(owo)kai: that

y(owo)kai: that actually makes a lot of sense what the fuck 

stfu: lmao

kodzuken: haj said "arent you tired of being nice> dont you just wanna go apeshit?"

kodzuken: and yknow what ,, i respect it

* * *

THUNDER: my man CHUGS that respect women juice every morning and i am so proud of him 

amsunshine: tanaka-senpai?

THUNDER: the very one

amsunshine: oh yeah hes so cool and awesome 

THUNDER: he’s the best 

amsunshine: he’s never been subbed out in any games have you noticed?

pls chill: who are we talking about 

THUNDER: my SOULMATE my BEST FRIEND, the guy that respects women so HARD it amazing

pls chill: what brought this on

THUNDER: nothing im just very grateful for his bald headed self 

THUNDER: just v happy that hes my friend ykyk

THUNDER: anyway time to yell at him my affections

amsunshine: incredible grammar senpai

THUNDER: SHUT

* * *

amsunshine: nobody: kenma: lev, psspssppsspss

no u: shut the fuck up u fake bitch

kodzuken: why am i being attacked for the way i call for my boyfriend

kodzuken: friendship ended with shouyou, now kuguri is my best friend

vibing: fuck yeah

amsunshine: :0!

amsunshine: i have been betrayed

amsunshine: i gave you my love and all i got in return was your cruel gaze as i lay here dying

kodzuken: ok edgar allen poe

amsunshine: is that what the english material is like in nekoma

kodzuken: yes and i hate it

no u: babe u hate a lot of things

no u: plus i help you study so it isnt that bad right

kodzuken: and i get to see butter

no u: and you get to see butter

* * *

aliens!! are!! real!!: iwa-chans one himbo moment happened when we were playing against chibi chan and mr.refreshing was the setter for that particular play and iwa-chan was waiting for chibi chan to ask for a toss and i had to remind him that it wasnt that type of toss and it still took him a minute to Go 

stfu: SHUT

pls chill: haj that happened? 

stfu: no

stfu: tooru is a lying liar who lies

amsunshine: no it did happened lol

stfu: kid

stfu: chibi ur killing me here 

amsunshine: >:)

vibing: wait pause

vibing: whos mr.refreshing

amsunshine: oh that a nickname oikawa came up w for my vice captain

aliens!! are!! real!!: he's like a splash of cool water and he made you guys relax and it fucked up my rthymn 

amsunshine: rthymn

stfu: rthymn

vibing: rthymn

aliens!! are!! real!!: shut up im gay >3<

stfu: bold words from someone who passed comprehension with the highest grades possible 

aliens!! are!! real!!: ////w\\\\\\\\\

* * *

yuuji: shou

yuuji: shou

yuuji: answerrrr youurrrr phoneeeeeee

shou: i am Cuddling with my SLEEPING boyfriend and im PLAYING w his hair what the FUCK do u want >:(

yuuji: i have a problem

shou: like a hide the body problem or i like someone problem

shou: bc i can fin someone to take care of the body for you really quick

yuuji: what no

yuuji: youre kinda scary with how many people you now yk

shou: lol

yuuji:but anyway i like someone

yuuji: deadass

shou: what

shou: you what

yuuji: i 

yuuji: like someone

shou: whom the fuck

yuuji: ok no im getting ahead of mysef

yuuji: i THINK i ike someone

shou: that doesnt make it any better yu-kun

yuuji: yeah wel fuck you i’m not the best at this tye of shit

shou: no really? 

shou: you’re so flustered youre misspelling

yuuji: >:0

yuuji: i’m offended

yuuji: anyway how did you do it with your boyfriend

shou: do what?

yuuji: get to know him

shou: oh i stalked his medias and whatnot and i did a background check lol

yuuji: you

yuuji: you what

yuuji: shou why would you stalk someone’s medias and do a background check akhas why??

shou: i had to make sure i know what i was getting myself into duh 

yuuji: does semi know abt this??

shou: oh yah

yuuji: why are you like this 

shou: hehe

yuuji: ok anyway will you help me get to know this guy

shou: will i be getting a name

yuuji: not yet

shou: ohohoho

shou: sure thing 

  
  


* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: hello all summer vacation is abound and we just got news that tsukki is going to the first yr training camp

amsunshine: also!!! I’m going too but washijo called earlier to tell takeda-sensei what was up w my condition lol

amsunshine: having to act like i didn't get invited too was an exercise in itself and personally i applaud myself assahf

y(owo)kai: OWO

y(owo)kai: i told youuouuuuuu

y(owo)kai: Miracle Boy Satori is Always Right

amsunshine: :0!! yes!! 

too pretty for this: babe dont encourage him 

amsunshine: but hes right!! 

too pretty for this: i mean i guess

y(owo)kai: is that any way to treat your Eldest Brother, semisemi

too pretty for this: 1) dont call me that 2) just cus youre the oldest physically doesnt mean youre the oldest mentally 

y(owo)kai: >:0 

y(owo)kai: youre right but hey!

amsunshine: hi

too pretty for this: hello 

god has left me: reon is the oldest at a mental age

y(owo)kai: yknow what

y(owo)kai: ur right 

fuck you ur stuck w me: ooooh are we talking bout training camps

amsunshine: yesh

fuck you ur stuck w me: noice, im going to the all-japan training camp lmao

i await the sweet release of death: its his second time

i await the sweet release of death: its also the one week of peace i get during the summer aha

fuck you ur stuck w me: the DISRESPECT i face everyday is astronomical 

i await the sweet release of death: ya just as bad as me fuckhead

fuck you ur stuck w me: false accusations 

i await the sweet release of death: just as false as your hair 

fuck you ur stuck w me: we BOTH dyed our hair stupid

* * *

**_disaster first yr gays_ **

simp ONLY for my bf: i have News on the kags n suga thing

leaves: they broke up

kugurii: ^^

simp ONLY for my bf: no

simp ONLY for my bf: they’re going strong

simp ONLY for my bf: and theyre CUTE and its so CONFLCTING FSJ

simp ONLY for my bf: like today suga bought kags a milk and i swear you wouldve thought he hd given him a national jersey w his name on it and told him he was playing w the national japanese team ahasdk

leaves: damn so theyre prob not gonna break up any time soon huh

simp ONLY for my bf: no

leaves: maybe they’ll reconnect after high school??

kugurii: hopefully, or they just bury that particular path and go on their lives 

simp ONLY for my bf: sighhhhh

  
  


* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

Ur filth: ugh

prettyplayboy: ??

prettyplayboy: you good??

Ur filth: no

Ur filth: a classmate asked me out to a date

prettyplayboy: you said no?

Ur filth: i agreed

prettyplayboy: ah

prettyplayboy: good luck

Ur filth: sigh

* * *

yuuji: FUCK

shou: you good???

yuuji: no

yuuji: omi-san is going on a date and its not w me :(

shou: OH SHIT FFHFH

shou: you like kiyoomi-san??

yuuji: I THINK 

shou: :0000000!!

shou: damn that fucking tough lmao

yuuji: sigh

yuuji: gang gang i’ll just go cry into my pillow

shou: ask him out later or something idk

shou: eita said i can't be too invested bc then i get myself hurt so gl lmao

shou: and im still invested in this other one so its like ,,

yuuji: no yeah that fair lol

yuuji: welp, time to hope that omi doesnt like the guy too much

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

Ur filth: everyone i have horrible news

vibing: u ran out of hand sanitiser

Ur filth: never that

amsunshine: what happened 

kodzuken: your wifi went down

Ur filth: i would not be able to speak to you guys

no u: :0 u lost ur fav knife

Ur filth: no why would i have a favorite knife

Ur filth: no im dating someone and i already hate it

god has left me: who are you dating??

Ur filth: some guy 

amsunshine: fhfjsdkfh

too pretty for this: oh me before i started dating shouyou

amsunshine: aw eita <3

too pretty for this: <3

god has left me: sigh

kodzuken: wait why o you already hate it

Ur filth: i dont like him and he’s boring

Ur filth: but he’s actually p clean so ill let it slide for now

no u: ???? thats not reason to stay w someone sir

Ur filth: itll get my cousin off my back for about two months let me live

prettyplayboy: lol sucks to be u 

Ur filth: sigh

* * *

yuuji: DOUBLE FUCK

shou: :0!!

shou: yu-chan thats a bad word

yuuji: ok and

shou: oh felt lmao

yuuji: sigh, ill just invite him to hang out maybe that'll calm my feathers and sooth my scales

shou: ,,

shou: why are you like this

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

prettyplayboy: break up with your boyfriend im bored

prettyplayboy: *image sent* [ _ It’s a suggestive photo of Terushima’s body, his face is out of the shot and he’s shirtless. He is stretched out on his bed and his hands seem to draw attention to his shockingly small waist. He has a tattoo poking out from his jeans and another curling up his left side.]  _

amsunshine: YUUJI NO

amsunshine: wait your waist is almost as small as mine aflasfh

prettyplayboy: WAIY FUCK

prettyplayboy: AH SHIT SJAS:JASD

Ur filth: you have more tattoos?

prettyplayboy: uh yes

prettyplayboy: WAIT PAUSE SHOUYOU WDYM

amsunshine: i never noticed how petit your waist was 

prettyplayboy: ????

amsunshine: listen i have a small waist bc im small and also volleyball

amsunshine: you’re about five six inches taller than me and your waist is almost as small

prettyplayboy: im just perfect <3

Ur filth: huh

* * *

yuuji: WHAT DOES THAT MEANNNN

shou: what does what mean

yuuji: what does he mean by 'huh'

shou: idk he orb didnt realize u had more tattoos??

yuuji: also i didnt even mean to send that there i was gonna send it to some guy sigh

shou: i mean 

shou: have you asked him to hang out w you yet

yuuji: pff no

yuuji: am: scared

shou: pussy

shou: anyway goodluck i have to feed my chickens

yuuji: u have chickens???

shou: yes

yuuji: NICE

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also!! come yell at me in tumblr!! or discord ill be putting them down here or in the comments so uh yeah, except i never really figured out how to use discord on mobile so pls bare w me on that road but i think ill be p active on tumbr
> 
> uh what else what else OH  
> should i make this a series? like little non chatfic one shots that are centered around this story, like how semihina's first date went (in detail!) and how tf tendou keeps finding sparkly dildos and small little things like that
> 
> let me know!!
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/blxnvx   
> (i couldnt figure out how to change the thingy to make a link im so sorry)   
> also in v not bright so my discord is: grem.lin#7431   
> hehe


	23. i kicked canon out of my house, she has no place here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> training camp arc!!! except fuck the second hand embarassment i got from that arc im changing it up and making it my bitch hehe. and!! im making this a multichptr ar so about 2-3 chptrs on this ust to make sure i got al the stuffs good and covered ahaha  
> (also lets ignore that i havent updated since the 16th alfhasdlkhas pls accept this offering i bring)  
> shoutout to all my internet friends i met like a week ago if anything happened to them id kill everyone in this room and then mysef lkaskl <3 <3 <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always,, mom im sorry  
> here's who's who  
> Hinata: amsunshine  
> Nishinoya: THUNDER  
> Tendou: y(owo)kai  
> Osamu: i await the sweet release of death  
> Atsumu: fuck you ur stuck w me  
> Terushima: prettyplayboy  
> Lev: no u  
> Kenma: kodzuken  
> Oikawa: aliens!! are!! real!!  
> Shirabu: god has left me  
> Iwachan: stfu  
> kuguri: vibing  
> akaashi: pls chill  
> semi: too pretty for this  
> sakusa: Ur filth

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: TRAINING CAMP TRAINING CAMP TRAINING CAMP AFKASK

fuck you ur stuck w me: ur going to shiratrizawa’s training camp right

amsunshine: yuhhh, 

amsunshine: you?

fuck you ur stuck w me: the all-japan youth training camp

i await the sweet release of death: the only reason they still let him in is because hes an okay setter

i await the sweet release of death: they actually hate his personality

i await the sweet release of death: and i dont blame them bc he has a trash personality 

fuck you ur stuck w me: you fucking hypocrite youre just as bad as me

i await the sweet release of death: FALSE

THUNDER: no you guys are kinda mean

Ur filth: you’re both trash but Osamu was better at pretending he was nicer 

prettyplayboy: see im not sure if thats a compliment or an insult and honestly

prettyplayboy: im very impressed sldkhsa

Ur filth: its an art form i’ve spent years perfecting

prettyplayboy: Hot

* * *

**_private chat between you and prettyplayboy_ **

**prettyplayboy:** why did i say that why did i say that

 **amsunshine:** LMAAOOO RIP

 **prettyplayboy:** PLEAE HELP WHAT DO I SAY SDOJASD

 **amsunshine:** LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

 **amsunshine:** this is better than the soap opera my dad likes to watch 

**prettyplayboy:** please me and my seducing tactics be goof sir 

**prettyplayboy:** good*

 **amsunshine:** goof

 **prettyplayboy:** SHUT

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

Ur filth: wait a fucking second

Ur filth: rat boy 

Ur filth: you’re in the all-youth japan group too?

fuck you ur stuck w me: TOO??

fuck you ur stuck w me: og my GOD i forgt you go to itachiyama sdlkasdlhk

amsunshine: (are we going to ignore the fact that kiyoomi just called atsumu rat boy and atsumu responded to that or…?) 

fuck you ur stuck w me: HEY 

i await the sweet release of death: (i was wondering that too)

prettyplayboy: (why are we whispering) 

amsunshine: (its funner than regular talking) 

Ur filth: (please use proper grammar shou-kun)

amsunshine: (oh shit! s c a t t e r)

prettyplayboy: (s c a t t e r i n g)

i await the sweet release of death: (s c a t t e r e d)

amsunshine: brilliant work everyone brilliant

amsunshine: we’ve successfully thrown them off our trail 

Ur filth: not really

Ur filth: but sure 

fuck you ur stuck w me: omi-omi u really think im a rat :(

Ur filth: yes

i await the sweet release of death: HAHAHAA 

amsunshine: GET REKT

prettyplayboy: AHHHHH THATS THE ONE BOYS 

fuck you ur stuck w me: sighhhh

fuck you ur stuck w me: when will the injustice end 

Ur filth: when will your face stop making me throw up in my mouth

prettyplayboy: OH SHIT

amsunshine: STOP STOP HES ALREADY DEAD AHHASDAS

i await the sweet release of death: rip miya atsumu 

fuck you ur stuck w me: the SLANDER

amsunshine: IM HERE 

Ur filth: ??

amsunshine: *sent image* [ _It’s a selfie of Hinata posing in front of Shiratorizawa Academy, he’s smiling and is flashing a peace sign with his free hand_.]

fuck you ur stuck w me: is that a horse field mine eyes see?

amsunshine: yeth, shiratorizawa has a horse riding club and a horse field

amsunshine: and dorms!

fuck you ur stuck w me: inarizaki could never

i await the sweet release of death: yeah but inarizaki is the one who’s going to nationals so 

god has left me: hey fuck you

i await the sweet release of death: absolutely not i am still distraught over my ex breaking up w me aha

too pretty for this: i heard there was an uncomfortable energy and i came as soon i felt it

too pretty for this: o h

god has left me: oh-

prettyplayboy: oop

prettyplayboy: uh anyway

prettyplayboy: whos had any run-ins w cops bc i Hav and lemme tell yall how it goes 

amsunshine: my team captain is a class traitor and i’ve never been so devastated

too pretty for this: oh my god shou please 

amsunshine: i am HEARTBROKEN!!!!!!!

amsunshine: betrayed!!! BAMBOOZLED!!!!!

prettyplayboy: WHAT

prettyplayboy: tell us more my story can wait

amsunshine: ok so ,,

* * *

Hinata looked up fr0m where he and Nishinoya were talking about how he could improve his receiving when Sugawara sighed after coming back from the gate to see Daichi off. 

(“I have to make sure that damned cat captain man isn’t there to ravish our dearest captain.” He had announced, grinning mischievously. 

Daichi had groaned, telling Sugawara that he was a capable person and able to take care of himself and that he Did Not Need to be walked to the gate of the school like a Child.

Hinata and Nishinoya snickered. 

Suga had pecked Kageyama in the cheek, citing a “need for protection and a good luck charm from his favorite setter and cutest boyfriend” as he walked out with an embarrassed Daichi in tow. 

Hinata and Nishinoya did not snicker at that, conflicted Due To Reasons.)

The third year year setter had sighed, accepting the water bottle from Kageyama with a murmured thanks and a soft smile. “Alright, you terrible terrible heathens,” he turned to Yachi, a reassuring expression on his face, “Not you Yacchan, you’re an angel and we’re very glad to have you here with us, you too Kiyoko!”

Yachi gave a small smile and Kiyoko patted her head gently. Sugawara beamed at the two managers before turning back to the players, “As I was saying! We won’t have practice on Monday after school because Daichi will be at the police station that day.” 

Nishinoya and Hinata glanced at each other, alarmed and sort of Proud in the way am older sibling is when they realize that their younger sibling can fight on their own and _win_ (which is weird because both Nishinoya and Hinata are second and first years respectively and Daichi is their Senpai and Captain and Actually Older than them Physically but shshshh). 

“Daichi-san got arrested?” questioned Nishinoya, walking closer to Suga, Hinata close behind and equally as curious.

Hinata grinned excitedly, “We should go for a jailbreak then!” 

Sugawara frowned and shook his head. “What? No, he has an internship with the police station.” 

The gym stilled, the quiet before the storm, the stillness and eeriness that comes seconds before a natural disaster. Suddenly, the disaster came in the form of anguished cries as they filled the gym air, Hinata and Nishinoya were clutching each other with the desperation of dying men. 

The two shortest members whispered prayers, Sugawara did not know they were religious. Sugawara also did not know that they could shriek that loud. _What the fuck_ , thought Sugawara.

Hinata turned to Sugawara with honest-to-gods’ tears in his eyes. “Is it true, Suga-senpai? He’s really doing that?”

Sugawara nodded, bemused. Nishinoya let out a pained moan and clutched Hinata tighter. The first-year, in return, staggered to the bench where his bag was, he whipped out his phone and shot off a text before collapsing back into Nishinoya’s arms. 

They hadn’t stopped crying out. 

_What the fuck,_ thought Sugawara, _what the fuck._

He caught Kageyama’s eye and shrugged at his boyfriend’s obvious confusion. 

_What the fuck,_ he thought again. _What the fuck._

* * *

**_salt bitch:_ **i swear to god if you even fucking THINK abt sneaing into the fucking training camp

 **_midget:_ **(;

 _ **midget:** _howd u even know i was gonna go

 _ **salt bitch:** _i saw you in the store, and i know you heard us

 **_midget:_ **awwww tsukki it sounds like you care abt me :’)

 **_salt bitch:_ **hinata i swear to god i'm already getting second hand embarrassment from the thought of you sneaking in 

**_midget:_ **smh spoilsport

 **_midget:_ **alright listen up u salty french fry 

**_midget:_ **im gonna go to the training camp because i’ve been invited BUT u fucker u better not say aything an pretend to be shocked 

**_midget:_ **bc washijo said i’m gonna be apart from u guys bc i need a different training regime

 **_salt bitch:_ **is it cus you're short

 **_midget:_ **shut the fuck up 

**_salt bitch:_ **also when are you going to start texting without any typos 

**_midget:_ **SHUT THE FUCK UP

 **_salt bitch:_ ** lol 

* * *

**_salt bitch:_ **oh my god i see you

 **_midget:_ **do i look good ;)

 **_salt bitch:_ **no u look like a weirdo 

**_midget:_ **>:0

 _ **midget:** _did u think i was lying?

 _ **salt bitch:**_ yes?? what kind of fucking question

* * *

  
  


Washijo watched with a critical eye as the first years went through their spike drills. As usual, the ones he had chosen were powerful, hitting spike after spike with a force that made him hum approvingly. His eyes strayed to one corner where the blond (he swore that the short boy had orange hair when they had played against them in the finals, the youth these days had the strangest ideas and behaviour ) middle blocker was practicing footwork with Yamagata. 

Washijo had thought very long and hard about that boy. When his team had played against Karasuno, he had originally dismissed the oranged (blond?) haired boy; then the boy had jumped. Washijo will take this to his grave, but when he had seen that boy spike and win the last point, he felt like he was fifteen again. 

Washijo felt as if he was fifteen and triumphant, in that moment, the words of his coach mattered not. The first year boy had leaped and had _flown_ . As if that boy had said, “ _See me, see how I jump and how I break past your expectations. This is my court, and I am the master._ ” Washijo knew that that boy would fly higher, because he saw the expression on the tiny boy’s face. He knew that face of hunger, saw it everyday during his team practice. 

He and Ushijima are cut from the same cloth. Monsters in their own right. 

Of course, the boy would need to better everything else. His receives were frankly horrendous and very badly thought out. To better that, Washijo had the boy practice footwork; he would not have the same training as the other first years, no. no, this one needed help in everything else. 

Washijo planned to bring in boys from the tennis team to teach him the split step, if Yamagata didn’t teach him already. He’d also need spatial awareness, to make sure he doesn’t bump into any of his teammates when receiving or get in the way of someone running in for a spike. He’ll see if the basketball coach is willing to have a shadow for a couple hours. This boy will learn to receive and serve accurately if it’s the last thing he does. 

Turning back to watch Yamagata pass another ball to the boy (he should really start to learn his name, shouldn’t he?) and seeing the boy fail to receive it accurately, he hid a wince… Maybe he should pound into him the beginnings of a solid foundation at the very least. 

* * *

Shouyou’s body hurt, his breath was coming out ragged, his thighs and calves burned, sweat dripped down his face and covered his body. 

This was hard, this was difficult, it was frustrating and he felt himself fight the urge to whine and ask if he could jump a spike, just one, honest. He felt jittery and he was pretty sure his biceps and forearms had gone numb about two hours ago. 

This was also the most fun he’s ever had practicing receiving drills. Yamagata-kun was an amazing libero! Not as good as Noya-senpai of course, but he was a very formidable libero in his own right. Yamagata-kun had kept him working hard enough to take his mind off the spikes for a while, keeping a running commentary and subtly fixing and realigning his stance to better his receiving. 

“Remember, Hinata, stay on your toes and spring up with your waist, not your upper body. Do that split step I showed you earlier.” Yamagata-kun’s voice brought him out of his thoughts even as his body automatically shifted to follow through with the split step. 

Wasn’t that a surprise as well? That the footwork found in tennis was also beneficial in volleyball? Shouyou was very glad to have helped his friend with his tennis practice, how he had not connected the split step with volleyball was beyond him; but hey, at least he remembered now right? Right. 

Yamagata-kun said that when he got 20 good volleys going he would be able to spike five tosses. Shouyou never guessed that there was a lot more to receiving than good positioning. 

_But that’s what makes it fun, doesn’t it? Having a challenge and knowing this will make you better?_ He thought to himself, getting excited and feeling more rejuvenated at the thought of becoming better. 

He continued practicing with Yamagata-kun until Coach Washijo blew his whistle for personal practice. Yamagata-kun stood up with a sigh and a grin. 

“Haa, you tired yet Hinata?” he asked, stretching out his legs and gathering the balls around them. 

Shouyou popped up from his own stretches and hurried to wheel the cart over to help the libero pick up the balls, “Nope! I think I can go another hour or so!” 

Yamagata-kun sent him an incredulous smile, shaking his head and asking him, “Where do you get all that energy from? It’s like you never stop.” 

Shouyou hummed, “Probably from biking over a mountain everyday.” 

He noticed Yamagata-kun’s slack jaw and made an inquiring noise. This seemed to shock the third year out of his stupor. Shaking his head, he whistled, impressed. 

“Every day?” he checked, at Shouyou’s nod he whistled again, “Helluva calf strength you got there then, huh?” 

He led Shouyou to where the other first years were, saying his goodbyes as he slipped out of the gym. It was a good practice from then on, teasing and asking the others what they thought while receiving. For example, Kunimi was lazy, but also very clever about what balls he could reach and not. It was very fun to see the usually apathetic boy squrm under Shouyou's intense scrutiny. (This absolutely in no way motivated Shouyou to stare harder at the boy. Nope, absolutely not.)

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

amsunshine: oh my gd 

prettyplayboy: ???

prettyplayboy: whats up

amsunshine: ushijima wakatoshi is a himbo

amsunshine: and sa-chan ad goshiki-kun are WHIPPED

god has left me: this is what i have to deal with everyday 

y(owo)kai: I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND SO MUCH AHHHHHHHHH

prettyplayboy: ????

prettyplayboy: this left me with more questions than answers im crying please elaborate

amsunshine: alrighty!!! so!!

amsunshine: we’re eating right 

amsunshine: and they served cups of pudding as like a desert 

amsunshine: this absolute Mountain of a man sits there and STRUGGLES!! for FIVE MINUTES!!

amsunshine: mr “you are from the concrete” “i have a spike that can BLOW your arms off” cant open the danm pudding cup, he sat there for five minutesand struggled like it was closed with the worlds best glue ever invented

amsunshine: and what does sa-chan and goshiki-kun do? they STARE at him,

amsunshine: THATS ALL THEY DO ASDAD:SJA

y(owo)kai: FALSE

y(owo)kai: i also kissed him :3

god has left me: ok yeah bu as if you arent being fed pudding by semi

amsunshine: SHUT

prettyplayboy: damn i kinda want someone like that :( 

amsunshine: ,,

amsunshine: if u wwerent such a WUSS u would

prettplayboy: SHUT

  
  
  


* * *

amsunshine: KIYOOMI I FOUND YOU A COOL SHIRT 

amsunshine: GET ONLINE HURRYYYY UPPPPPP

amsunshine: @Urfilth @Urfilth @Urfilth @Urfilth @Urfilth @Urfilth @Urfilth @Urfilth @Urfilth 

amsunshine: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ur filth: what

amsunshine: IVE FOUND YOU A SHIRY THAT LOOKS COOL 

Ur filth: lets see it then

amsunshine: *sent image* [ _It’s a black button up with Medusa’s head patterned on it. The heads are a stark white against the dark colors of the button up._ ]

Ur filth: oh it is nice

amsunshine: IT IS!!!!!!

Ur filth: am i wrong to think that you have already bought it for me?

amsunshine: KIYOOMI

amsunshine: u r not heehee

amsunshine: ur a size large right?

Ur filth: yes, although when you get it tell me so i can make some adjustment to the waistline and the shoulders. My shoulders are broader than the average shirt. 

amsunshine: oooo n ur waist is smaller?

Ur filth: yes

amsunshine: gotcha gotcha

* * *

**_private chat between you and prettyplayboy_ **

**prettyplayboy:** youre gonna fucking kill me shou

 **prettyplayboy:** dead, i am going to be dead, its gonna be your fault

 **you:** lmao

 **you:** do something abt it pussy

 **prettyplayboy:** sigh

 **you:** just ask him out its not that hard

 **prettyplayboy:** hes dating someone rn????

 **you:** and?

 **prettyplayboy:** ur terrible 

**you:** hehe

 **you:** oh but u really like him huh

 **prettyplayboy:** SHSHSHSHHSH

* * *

**_not straight but at least we can play vball_ **

aliens!! are!! real!!: listen tndoue isten 

aliens!! are!! real!!: ltek your boyfriend to neer forget my worthless pride bc i swear that al tat is holfy snd ascared to my famil i wil bear him one day ont the world stage, im ufkcing talking olympics motherfucker 

aliens!! are!! real!!: tell him me and my worthless pride are going to beat him and show him that jsut because we never went to nationals, it donst msen that we are any ess talented seijaoh is a home to e and i leonard to loved volleyball ith my tamatea and fuck youuuuu

stfu: hes drunk out of his mind im so sorry 

y(owo)kai: but ur both in japan???? howre u gonna-

stfu: knowing him he’ll probably move to a different country just to beat ushijima

y(owo)kai: my boyfriend lives in oikawa’s head rent free :3

* * *

amsunshine: hi im on the roof again

pls chill: how

amsunshine: shiratorizawa has a really nice roof view

pls chill: oh gods 

y(owo)kai: worry not, he is w me

pls chill: that doesnt make it any better u two are terrible w each other

amsunshine: lies!! 

too pretty for this: no hes right

too pretty for this: you two have started a fire to make marshmallows

amsunshine: wait 

amsunshine: wait 

amsunshine: this is cannibalism

y(owo)kai: ??

y(owo)kai: pls elaborate

vibing: i heard cannibalism 

no u: u guys are on a roof?? without me? 

no u: this is Betrayal

amsunshine: my toasted marshmallow is eating his kin

too pretty for this: babe ,,

amsunshine: im sorry honey :(((((pasoas

no u: oh my fucking god he fucking dead

vibing: he got miss keisha’d

pls chill: rip in peace hinata shouyou\

amsunshine: IM NOT DEAD

pls chill: sometimes i can still hear his phone

no u: its like he’s still here

amsunshine: HEY

vibing: i miss him already

amsunsine: u guys r terrible

too pretty for this: damn yall hear something

amsunshine: BABE

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a huge thanks to my readers who have been v paitent am v thankful for u <3 <3 <3 also i have a big project im working on so pls stay tuned for that hehe
> 
> and! i have a bunch of fics i have in my docs waiting to be written so pls stay tuned for that heehee muchos besos <3 <3 <3


	24. sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning please be careful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND SUCH
> 
> .

hi everyone, 

first of all i would love to thank everyone for reading this fic, it has brought me the biggest joy and the greatest honor to have written this and actually met some of you (looking at my discord babes <3). I'd like to thank everyone who has left kudos and commented, both long and short comments, i treasure each and everyone of them. believe me 

i started this fic on a whim after reading another such chatfic (rayofsunshine94 has entered the chat) and decided "hey, why not start one?" and well, here we are, 72k (!!!!!) words later it has snowballed into a huge fic that lot of you actually enjoy??? it makes me incredibly happy to know that nsvb has brought you so much laughter and happiness and that my baby has brought you guys out of dark places and stuff 

however, many of you know that with the quarentine and the whole shebang going on in the real world it is very stressful and really draining. add to the fact that i am not in the happiest of households and constantly get in fights with my parents, this stuff really has me feeling like shit and just Not Good, bad enough to the point where TW TW TW //suicide seems like a really good option right now. 

rest assured my dears, i am not going to kill myself. i have long term plans to make life my bitch, but i am not emotionally well enough to continue this story for now. this isnt a goodbye, this isnt my suicide note, im still here and as much as i want it, i wont kill myself. 

this isnt a goodbye, its just a see you later, its a pause here to focus on myself so that i dont break myself. this isnt a goodbye. this isnt a goodbye. this isnt a farewell, this is a pause. 

ill see you guys later, 

gemlin. 

and thank you


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